Chapter 23

"Are you going to come in or should I just leave your drink on the windowsill?"

Avaric. Her jaw clenched. She hadn't seen him since that night a few months ago. She'd forgotten about him, after days, maybe weeks, of expecting the news to break. He'd kept his word.

"You again."

"Again, it is my apartment."

"I thought you were rarely here."

"I thought you were never coming back?"

She narrowed eyes at him. She was too tired for this. Too wired. It took all she had to keep herself together, every nerve ending erect, every muscle tensed. She was coiled too tightly to focus on anything else. She didn't have the energy for bantering, especially not with someone as skilled at it as Avaric.

To his credit, he didn't smirk. Or grin. Or anything else meant to draw her out. He merely looked at her face and nodded.

"Oh, come in and sit down, Elphaba. Don't make everything so difficult."

"Fine."

He moved towards the liquor cabinet without asking her if she wanted a drink. He simply filled two glasses with amber liquid and put one in front of her.

"Just so we're clear...you do know this will have to come out, at some point?"

She wanted to ask him what he was talking about, but she knew the answer and he wouldn't be deterred. Besides, it was a fact, and it was one she needed to face. Unfortunately, she was not in reasonable mood. And she hated Avaric. For being here, for being him, for not being Fiyero. For everything he knew that she ought to have known as well.

She threw him the most hateful look she could muster.

"Shut up."

He nodded.

"Right."

He raised his glass at her in a salute and knocked it back without flinching.

"I should stop."

She wished she could say she'd said it out loud without being aware of it. But she'd said it out loud because she needed to say it, out loud, to someone other than herself. To someone who might, for some reason, have a response. Any response. She was tired of listening to her own mind running through the same words, coming to the same conclusions, over and over again. Anything would do.

"Stop what, exactly?"

She glared at him. He was making it difficult for her, and he wasn't even hiding it.

"Stop this. Fiyero."

"Yes."

She nodded, but his eyes were trained on hers now, and she couldn't look away.

"Or stop lying about it."

She had not seen that coming. Her face must have showed her surprise because he sat down in the armchair on her right and took a sip of his drink.

"Why haven't you taken off, anyway? What's stopping you?"

He was an idiot. She would have snorted, or frowned at least, say something snarky, but she was too busy trying to keep her liquor down.

"They would hunt him! Kill him, if they get the chance...the risks.."

"Are not any bigger than they are now. What do you think will happen if this comes out?"

It burned in her throat, rough and smooth, painful and soothing. It helped.

"Well...I...we should stop while we still can...we should have...we should never have started.."

Her voice died down, the last words barely more than a whisper. Her voice thick and raspy. Oz, what was happening to her?

"Coulda, woulda, shoulda, sweetheart. It's too late for all that. What you can do now, is take off and go public or quit. Because you know that it won't stop until it's gone too far in either direction."

"It's already gone too far."

"You knew that going in. So get out, or go for it."

"We can't just.."

She never finished her sentence because another sound but their two voices emerged. A muffled sound at the door that had so many times before brought relief to an ache, light to a day spent in shadows. So many nights here had begun with that sound. But not now, not this one. Her eyes went wide and focused on Avaric.

"You...did you.."

"Oh come off it, Elphie. I didn't tell anyone. The only other person who would show up here unannounced is Fiyero."

She looked at him warily. She didn't want to talk to Fiyero, either. She hadn't know until now, until the very moment she was about to see him. She didn't want to. She wasn't ready. She wasn't ready for whatever he was going to say.

Avaric seemed to guess her thoughts, though, because he pushed her back into the room she'd come through.

"Go then, if you must."

But as he said it, he pushed her behind the door, then left it open, before he returned to the living room to face his latest guest.

She didn't protest it. Not because she was too weak to move. She could still fly, and she held enough power to be a threat to Avaric if she'd ever been afraid of him. She went with it, because she knew what he was doing. He was confronting Fiyero and allowing her to listen. He was giving her the advantage.

"Avaric?!"

Fiyero. His voice was enough to relax her shoulders. For a moment, she sagged in relief, before she remembered everything that was currently wrong with her situation, with their situation, before she remember the absolute idiocy that was her life, and then her shoulders tensed again, as she stood behind the door and refused to move a muscle.

"Hey."

She'd never understand how Avaric could sound so utterly relaxed. Like there wasn't a known terrorist standing behind his door, eavesdropping on his conversation with his friend, the captain of the Gale Force, who happened to be having an affair with said terrorist. She almost laughed out loud, a sputter of it already on her lips. Only it wasn't funny. Not remotely.

"I...I'm..."

Of course, Fiyero would be thrown off balance. He didn't know that Avaric knew. Hadn't expected him at all. She'd forgotten about that.

"You're here to see Elphaba."

The casual tone in which Avaric replied managed to make her smile. He was so brazen. That audacity he had would surely demand a price someday.

"I...wha...but..."

She was sure Avaric would be grinning by now but his tone of voice was serious when he answered.

"I've known for a while. Take your time. Drink?"

What was it with that man and alcohol? It was a miracle he looked the way he did, with the drinking that he seemed to do.

"Did you see her?"

Fiyero seemed to have recovered quickly enough. He didn't sound all that worried. Then again, he'd known Avaric for a long time. Perhaps he knew there wasn't much to worry about. And obviously if Avaric had known for a while, he'd kept his mouth shut.

"Yeah. She was here. If she comes back, I'll make myself scarce, yeah? Wouldn't want to be around for whatever comes next."

"What do you mean?"

She desperately wished she knew of a spell that would allow her to be invisible right now. She'd give anything to see their faces.

Avaric was silent for a while. But she heard the clinking of ice cubes.

"I suppose I am to congratulate you on your engagement."

Fiyero didn't respond straight away, when he did, his voice was weak and grainy.

"Does Elphaba know?"

He asked, but his voice gave him away. He couldn't be sure, but he feared he knew the answer.

"How would I know that? We're not exactly chums."

Avaric was a liar almost by nature. A life lived in wealth and politics did that to a person, Elphaba supposed. But there was a quality to his words now, something in his tone, a layer of something in his attitude. Perhaps, though, she was imagining things. She knew he was lying after all. Fiyero wouldn't hear the difference.

"She didn't say anything to you? What...when did she leave?"

"She didn't say much, no. I wouldn't have had much to say, in her shoes, though."

"Why...what...what are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about your engagement with Glinda the Good, and your affair with The Wicked Witch of the West. I gotta say, Tiggular, you always did know how to pick 'm, but this is miles even out of your league."

"Shut up. That's not how it happened. I didn't...I never intended for this to happen?"

"Which part?"

"What?"

"Which part did you not intend to happen? The engagement, or the affair?"

Fiyero didn't answer. Her heart pounded. So this is what it came down to, in the end. Like in every damn affair, no matter how meaningful and profound people wanted it to be, no matter the emotions, the honesty, the love it stemmed from, it was still an affair. Lies were still the building blocks, and it all boiled down to the same choice in the end.

"Which one do you want, Fiyero? Because I think it's becoming exceedingly obvious that you can't keep them both."

"I know that. I don't even want that."

"So what do you want then? Which one? Blond or green?"

"For Oz' sake, shut up. What the hell do you care, anyway?"

"I didn't say I cared, but since you two insist on using my property as the scene of the crime, I feel kind of involved. I also think it's been long enough."

She could hear a scoff, knew it was Fiyero, but she couldn't picture his face. Didn't know the expression he would be wearing now, that accompanied that scoff.

"You're one to talk."

She didn't know this Fiyero. This impatient, guilt-wridden, desperate one. She didn't know him. It hit her hard, that sudden realization. They'd had a world of their own, but they'd had versions of themselves that didn't exist in the world outside. They weren't the same people here, now, that they had been in all those hours spent together.

"I never lie about my nature, Fiyero. Every girl knows that she's not the first, or the only one."

"I only want one. But...I can't just...I can't just leave. I love them both."

The softness of his words, laced with bitterness still, but more honest, more naked, than she'd heard him in a long time, calmed her nerves. He was telling the truth and it made her feel better, even if it hurt.

"Yes, but which one do you want to spend your life with? Because you just got engaged to one, so that would mean you went for blond."

"You make it sound like a choice between puppies."

Apparently, Avaric's facial expression was enough of a response because Fiyero went on.

"I never proposed to Glinda. She sprung it on me at that damn press conference. I didn't want to say no in front of all those people...I didn't...I don't want to hurt her."

"So you're going to marry her?"

She felt her heart breaking a little. Just a little piece that let go of its place and disappeared. There seemed to be regret in Avaric's voice.

"No. I can't. I can't. I love Elphaba. But I need time to tell Glinda. She didn't do anything to deserve this. I need to explain it to her, she deserves that, at least."

"Hmm, yes. I'm sure that will make her feel better. In any case, Elphaba does not seem to be here right now..."

There a silence then...Elphaba knew this was her moment. She could go in now and talk to Fiyero. Avaric was giving her an entrance. She didn't take it, and the moment passed.

"If she comes back, I will tell her you were here."

"I'll wait."

"I don't think that's wise, mate. You just got engaged. You have a fiancée waiting for you. Come back later."

"But..."

She heard Avaric sigh, and a scuffle of shoes on wooden floors.

"Fiyero, just go. Don't make this any more dramatic than it's gotta be, mate. Just go, get a drink, get cleaned up, sort out your head and come back tomorrow."

She expected Fiyero to put up a fight, to counter with arguments to stay, to wait. He wasn't one to give in when he felt justified in his opinions, but the fight must have gone out of him, or maybe he just wasn't truly ready to see her yet either. Maybe he'd run for her without thinking after that conference if what he had told Avaric was indeed true.

"Okay."

She could hear the confusion in Fiyero's voice. He was a good man. He meant what he said. She believed his every word. She still trusted him. Always would. He loved her. She loved him. He'd gotten in over his head and now there was no way out, without hurting anyone.

"Tell her I will be back tomorrow at the same time."

"Done. And Fiyero? Use a key, for Oz' sake!"

The door closed and Elphaba let out a breath. She let her body slide down the wall onto the floor. She was showing weakness in an enemy's home, she knew that, but she couldn't care less.

Fiyero loved her, yes. But did it change anything? He was right about one thing: Glinda didn't deserve this.

A pair of expensive shoes appeared before her. He didn't say anything but he extended his hand.

She had no idea why she took it.

He pulled her up and let her back to the sofa. He handed her a new drink, small and colourless.

"One shot. It'll help, even if you will only feel worse tomorrow."

She listened. It burned worse than the first drink, but lacked the soothing quality that had managed to warm frayed nerves. She didn't look at him, just gripped her empty glass, tried not to grimace.

"So was this part of your plan?"

Oz, could he not just leave her alone?

She glared.

"You're awfully good at that. But was it?"

"It's better this way."

He didn't ask what she meant. He knew.

"Sure it is. It's also bullshit. Refill?"

He took her empty glass without asking and gave it back to her full.

"So..what now, then?"

She was silent for a long time. She had no answer. What now?

"I don't know?"

"I'd offer you a bed tonight, but you'd only think I was being lewd."

"Wouldn't you be?"

"Only a little."

She laughed at that. He smiled.

"What? Can't blame a guy for trying. Seriously, though. You can stay here. I don't have anything you need, but you have to sleep somewhere and if you have a few more of those, you'll need a bathroom at your disposal as well."

She didn't look up, only threw back her second glass and this time, she barely flinched. She held out her empty glass, and looked him in the eye.

"Okay."

This time, he did show surprise, but it was quickly replaced by a smirk.

"Want another? You'll feel like hell in the morning."

"I feel like hell now."

"Okay, but don't blame me if you do jump into my bed tonight and you wake up naked tomorrow."

"In your dreams, Tenmeadows. Not enough alcohol in the world for that."

He laughed and got up.

"Avaric."

She spoke to his back because it was easier that way. He knew that, and though he did stop walking, he didn't turn around.

"Thank you."

He resumed his pace.

"You're welcome."

Thanks for reading! It's unbelievable to me that people are still with me on this...