Picking Up

Chapter 3

Note: I'm not Jewish and don't know much about Jewish traditions, so I had to do some research for this chapter. I sincerely hope I did justice, but if I offended anyone or made any grave errors I'd love to know so I can try to fix it. This chapter ended up with a lot more playfulness than I originally intended, but in my experience a lot of family holidays (even religious ones) are very lighthearted, so I hope it doesn't seem disrespectful. ~~~~~~********~~~~~~~~~~***********~~~~~~~~********~~~~~~~~~**********~~~~~~~~******~~~~~~~~~******~~~~~~~~

Two weeks later Sofie was due to start 3rd grade. She was thrilled, much to her mother's bafflement; Susan had been a decent student, but always preferred being active to sitting in a classroom. Sofie's energy was practically limitless, but she loved to learn, and as long as she got an hour or two of recess to run and play school was one of her favourite things in the world. Susan loved to see her daughter's enthusiasm, even if she didn't quite understand it.

There was one person in the house who was secretly less than thrilled about the start of the school year. To Talia, Sofie's return to school meant a return to normal life. Far too soon, it would be time for her to leave.

Part of her wondered how the time passed so quickly, but a bigger part of her felt as if she'd always been there. The spare bedroom had quickly become decorated with flowers Sofie collected, art they made together, and a beautiful box Susan had surprised her with one day. Sofie had even placed a picture she'd taken of Talia and Susan on the refrigerator next to a photo of Delenn and David.
The three of them had fallen into an easy rhythm; Susan went to work in the morning and took Sofie to camp while Talia spent a few hours by herself, enjoying the garden and the real Earth-sunlight and reading a book or going for a walk, then inevitably by early afternoon Talia thought up some excuse to pick up Sofie, and they'd drop by the Colonel's office on their way home.
The afternoons were spent playing, with Sofie teaching Talia to climb trees and ride quadricycles, giving her the childhood she'd never been allowed to have in the Psi Corps. On days Susan came home early, they made dinner together, and other days Talia and Sofie did their best to cook a delicious meal for when Susan finally arrived. The nights were Talia's favourite time, after Sofie went to bed and she and Susan had hours alone.

She was painfully aware of the fact she and Susan had yet to kiss or acknowledge their feelings, yet as they went through their days it felt… like family. Talia and Susan cooked together, ate together, laughed together; they talked about their days, they watched old movies, they sat in peaceful silence. In every way but one, it was everything Talia had ever wanted. It was true she and Susan had yet to be physically intimate, despite the desire they both felt, but she knew that would come in time—which was exactly the problem. Time was what they didn't have, because they both knew it wasn't forever.

They didn't talk about it, but no matter how much Talia became part of their daily lives they both knew this was just a vacation. Talia suspected that that knowledge, more than anything, was what kept them from making their relationship a physical one. For now, they could pretend they were friends, and this was a wonderful little break from reality; but the moment Talia slept in Susan's bed and woke beside her, the moment Susan's room became their room, their lives would fit together and it would feel like forever. Talia had let herself dream once before that she had forever with Susan, or at least a chance at forever, and Psi Corps ripped that away; she couldn't bear to lose that again.
The fact Talia felt more at home here than anywhere else in her life was wonderful and excruciating. She wanted this life, not just for the next day or the next week but for always. She wanted to stay, but she'd been here two weeks without a word from Susan about the future. They'd fallen into an easy, happy pattern, but maybe that's all it was. Much as she could feel that Susan longed to kiss her and make love, she feared that she held back to keep from giving the wrong impression—the impression that this was more than just a pleasant vacation.
Better to keep the last wall between them, the last barrier dividing a friend come to visit from a lover come to stay.

Whatever was or wasn't happening between them, it was all about to come to an end. Talia had already been gone three weeks, but it was knowing that Sofie was going back to normal life that forced her to realize she couldn't escape her own.

The Saturday before Sofie's first day, Susan invited Talia to join them on a shopping trip for school supplies; in fact, the invite seemed more of a plea, and when they got to the first shop Talia understood why. Sofie was bouncing everywhere, trying on everything, and talking a mile a minute. It was exhausting just to watch her! And there were crowds everywhere they went.

After a few hours Susan's patience was wearing thin, but she perked up a little upon noticing a sign on the door of a shop: "Closed next Sunday through Tuesday for Rosh Hashanah. L'shanah tovah."

"I forgot it was next week! I guess we'll need to buy some honey, huh Sof?" "Yummmm! Will you celebrate with us Talia? It's the Jewish New Year and we get to eat apples with honey and wash in the creek and say goodbye to all the bad things of the year, and Mommy says you should always start the year how you want to spend it so we have lots of fun and lots of Mommy-Sofie time, but this year it could be Mommy-Sofie-Talia time."

Talia looked at Susan uncertainly, but when she felt the warm hand squeezing her own she felt reassured. "Please Talia, we'd love you to join us."

"Alright then," she agreed with a smile. What's another two weeks? Work can wait.

Knowing that she now had an excuse to stay just a little bit longer, Talia's mood instantly brightened, and even the emotions of all the people surrounding them were less bothersome than before.

Once again the days passed too soon. Talia loved hearing about Sofie's school and even helped her with homework one night, but she missed having the days with her. She went for walks and did her best to keep busy and enjoy herself, but she couldn't help wishing throughout her days that the Ivanovas were beside her.

When the weekend came Talia was thrilled for the extra time with Susan and Sofie, and she loved how they took turns explaining all their holiday traditions in preparation. At first they just told her about Rosh Hashanah, but soon they were discussing all their holidays and celebrations. Not just the Jewish ones, either; Sofie told her of the Christmas they'd spent with the Sheridans at John's parents' home, and how she and David had opened stockings and John's dad managed to get an actual pine tree, and Susan recounted a Minbari holiday they had celebrated on one of their visits.

Talia wished she had her own stories to add, but apart from a few casual Christmas parties and one unpleasant New Year's Eve celebration with a drunken date she'd never had a holiday. The fact that her first was going to be here, with Susan, filled her with delight.

Susan explained that they weren't very traditional in their celebrations, they still went to work and school and since they didn't have a synagogue here they just said a few prayers at home, but it still seemed quite festive to Talia.
On Sunday, they had their sweetened apples for desert, and made their wishes that the new year would stay as sweet as the honey. There were many smiles and laughter, and three hearts filled with the quiet hope that they would spend the year just like this, the three of them together.

Monday afternoon, Talia picked Sofie up as soon as school was out and they met Susan in her office. It was early for Susan to head home and she'd have to make up paperwork that night, but it was a holiday and she wanted to spend it with them.

There was a creek on the training grounds, and though it wasn't for general use being in charge had its perks. As they made their way there, Susan explained the meaning of Tashlikh, the casting off of the old year's sins into the water. Sofie had mentioned the practice to her, but Talia loved hearing Susan talk about her traditions and beliefs.
Talia's heart fluttered when Susan squeezed her hand and looked into her eyes. "It's a way to make a fresh start, and begin the new year with only the pieces of the past that you want most in your life."

Talia felt her heart beat faster at these words, and the meaning behind them. The knowledge that she was something from the past that Susan most wanted to keep filled Talia with pride.

They draped their towels on the branch of a tall oak tree and waded into the water side by side. Sofie was a few yards downstream, splashing away and paying no attention to the grownups.

It was a hot, dry day, likely one of the last of the summer, and the cool water felt wonderful. Talia traced invisible patterns on the surface, enjoying the way it flowed over her fingers. All the little sensations she had missed out on in the years she kept her hands hidden were precious to her now, even ones as simple as the flow of water that wasn't from a sink. She felt Susan watching her and a smile traced her lips, but she didn't look up, enjoying the simple (knowledge that the other woman enjoyed watching).

A few moments later, there was a hand beside hers in the water. She watched Susan's fingers draw a heart on the surface and smiled up at her before impulsively splashing her. "You. Are. Dead," a dripping Susan asserted, attempting to glare but failing to hide the sparkle in her eyes. And so began the most aggressive splash war of their lives. They were both soaked in less than a minute, but that didn't stop them. Susan's battle training made her an aggressive foe, but Talia's enthusiasm helped her hold her own. The battle ended only when Sofie quite literally jumped into the foray, landing on her mother's back and dunking her in the water.
Talia and Sofie burst into laughter and Susan, when she resurfaced, lasted mere moments before her resistance failed and she joined them.

"Beaten by an 8 year old," Talia teased. "You're lucky none of your subordinates was here to witness your disgrace."

"I'll have you know," Susan informed her with false dignity, working hard to keep a straight face, "this particular 8 year old is a warrior-in-training and the daughter of a decorated war hero. I am proud to see her training in combat is coming along so well."

Sofie grinned proudly. "Someday I'm going to be a Ranger and I'll fly everywhere and save everyone and I'll win ALL the splash wars!"

Talia started to head toward the bank and her towel. "Be careful, we all know even the best warriors can fall victim to—a sneak attack!" she warned sending a wave of water crashing over the little girl before she darted out of the water and behind a tree, a silly grin brightening her face. A moment later Susan and Sofie pounced on her as one, tickling her until she surrendered.

It only occurred to Talia hours later, sitting next to Susan on the couch long after Sofie went to bed, that her behavior might have been inappropriate. It was a religious ceremony after all, an important ritual not a game. She tried to apologize, but Susan stopped her.

"Talia, at Rosh Hashanah I do my best to start the year the way I want to spend it. I spent the day having fun with the two people who mean the most to me; what more could I want from my year?" A smile spread over Talia's face, erasing her worry and lighting up her eyes.

"I love that," Susan observed.

"Love what?" Talia asked in confusion.

"The way your eyes get bluer when you smile. Most of the time they're a sort of… stormy grey, but when you smile it's like the blue sky coming through the clouds."

Talia felt her heart beat faster at the unexpected compliment, but unsure how to respond she decided to play it safe and stick with more familiar ground; she wanted desperately to continue that line of conversation and see where it led, but she was terrified of scaring Susan away. Their afternoon had been perfect, and she didn't want to do anything to ruin this day, so she replied with a teasing tone, "I thought you didn't like storms."

With a cocky grin Susan responded, "Why do you think I try so hard to make you smile?"

"And here I thought you wanted to make me happy," Talia replied with an attempted frown that couldn't hide the sparkle in her eyes. Something in Susan's smile shifted, and her eyes took on a hint of the storm that had just left the blonde's.

"Now Miss Winters," she whispered softly, leaning in close, "what on earth would make you think that?" Talia gasped as Susan's lips lightly touched her own, sending a shock through her body. As the kiss deepened, it felt like every inch of her was on fire. Susan's hands came to her waist, lifting her shirt slightly, and where her hands came to rest Talia felt her skin burn. As she reached up to stroke Susan's cheek, the only thought in her mind was, If fire is the cost, I'll gladly die in flames.

Their mouths moved together for time without end, hands exploring with all the gentleness lost in their hungry lips and tongues as they devoured each other. After what might have been hours or only moments, Susan began to lower them onto the sofa. Unwilling to pull her mouth away from Talia for even a moment, she pulled them down without caution, and the next thing they knew they had fallen unceremoniously onto the floor.

Talia was still half on top of Susan and they could feel each other's chests tremble with barely restrained laughter until it burst forth from them both. They wrapped their arms around each other as their bodies continued to shake with laughter. The feel of Talia's breasts rising and falling against her own both soothed and aroused Susan, but the moment seemed to have passed. When she had her laughter under control, Susan observed sheepishly, "Not quite the romantic reunion I'd imagined."

Talia chuckled and shifted to lie more firmly atop Susan, resting her head on the other woman's shoulder. "I missed you," she whispered.

They held each other for a long time, each aware of the awkwardness of their position sandwiched between the sofa and table but neither willing to give up the feel of the other after so long. Finally Susan's breathing began to still and Talia realized she had drifted off to sleep. She laid there a little while longer, shifting so she could watch Susan's face as she slumbered peacefully, memorizing every new line that had creased her features since they last lay like this so many years ago. Finally, when Talia could barely keep her own eyes open, she reluctantly pulled herself away. She stood slowly and walked to the guest room, but returned a moment later carrying the blanket she had slept with for the last month. Crouching down, she draped it over Susan and gently tucked it around her shoulders, then swept a stray strand of hair behind her ear. Leaning down and planting a soft kiss on Susan's forehead, Talia murmured, "Goodnight my love," before heading to her bed and falling asleep with a smile gracing the lips that could still feel Susan Ivanova.