Hello peoples who bother to read my shitty writing. Here's a new chapter of Daffodils. I have to take a year off of school before starting college for medical reasons /and I'll be moving/ so I'll be able to post and write more. I still don't own anything except new characters and ideas, I make no money from writing, and all rights go to the rightful owners. Check polyvore for character outfits and pictures Noellamonster

It's not that I didn't like Jessica, it's just I found her continuous stereotypical teen babble agonizing and enough to make me want to jump out of the car into oncoming traffic. I mean, if there was any.

Right now she was going on about a 'horrible' date she had gone on that apparently was out of pity and then seemed to spiral out of her control. Typical of her. Oh and now she was comparing two very different guys and the pros and cons of dating either. In my opinion, which I didn't voice sadly, she shouldn't be with either. If there was a triangle the best thing to do was say fuck it. If a choice had to be made in the first place, then she obviously didn't care enough for either of them.

But then again I found dating pointless, I was a shifter. Dating was a waste of time and no matter how much I came to love a person it wouldn't matter, I would either out-live them by far or imprint on someone. Which would hurt everyone involved, if they even could understand it at all. That was another thing, normal humans wouldn't understand. They would either think I've lost my mind or they're losing theirs.

Bella wasn't a normal human; she was never meant to be a human. She has powers so great they manifest strongly as a mortal, as a vampire she would be one of the strongest; more than worthy of the Volturi.

"I thought we were getting food" I whined, they apparently thought it was appropriate to change plans while I emptied my bladder.

"After the movie" Bella informed me, "You can survive until then."

"Probably not" I huffed and stuck my tongue out, the smallest of smiles tugged at her lips.

"Is that all you think about?" Jessica's eyebrows scrunched together as she looked me over with a judging stare. "Food?"

"I'd say it's a good 75% of my daily thoughts." I shrugged.

"No wonder." Her snobby little voice made me want to punch her.

"No wonder what?"

"Oh, nothing" she shrugged as we walked to the screening room. "Just, maybe if you ate less you wouldn't be alone. And maybe grow out your hair, guys like girls with long hair." Her smile was mocking and crude, partly as if she actually believed the bullshit coming from her mouth.

"Well thank god I don't live to please guys and snobs like you."

"I was just trying to help!" she scoffed in disbelief, "It's just a thing, Bella knows that!" she turned to Bella, her hand on her shoulder. "Edward loved her hair, he always was playing with it."

Bella stopped cold, a certain familiar pain clouding her dark eyes. "You know, you're a real bitch Jessica." I shoved her as Bella started walking again and moved through the dimly lit room to find seats. Which wasn't hard.

The previews seemed to be even more painfully slow than usual, Jessica babbled on about something I honestly couldn't bring myself to care about and therefor don't remember what it was. I just know Bella was using how much Jessica talked to her advantage. She didn't have to muster up the strength to talk or think, she could just sit and act like the zombies on the screen.

I wanted to find Edward so badly, drag him back here to her so I could see the life return to her eyes and color to her cheeks. But I knew that if I did find Edward it would pointless, knowing him he's sitting somewhere listening to sad classical music while drowning in pretentious self-loathing.

I could drag Bella with me, my scent would mask hers enough for me to get her close to him. Let her work some sort of mate magic and get him to come back. Bella was twirling a strand of her auburn hair between her fingers, her eyes lazily watching the disfigured bodies on the big screen. Jessica's eyes were wide and her mouth was stuffed with popcorn to muffle her screams, she must not be a fan of horror movies.

It was an ordinary zombie movie, nothing breath taking and award winning. It was more indie than anything.

As we walked down the streets Jessica was babbling again, this time it was about how drool worthy the male lead was. He was a very muscled man with hazel eyes and mousy brown hair, not exactly my type.

Like an idiot, I wasn't actually paying attention to where Jessica was leading us. I had assumed she was smart enough to either guide us to her car or to a restaurant she liked. She had done neither. Instead we were on a very dimly lit street. I had a very time controlling the feeling of 'What the actual fuck Jessica' that washed over me.

I turned to look at her, as did Bella but much more apologetically than I had. Jessica wasn't looking at either of us. Her face was tense; she stared straight ahead and walked fast. As I watched, her eyes darted quickly to the right, across the road, and back again.

I glanced around myself for the first time. We were on a short stretch of unlit sidewalk. The little shops lining the street were all locked up for the night, windows black. Half a block ahead, the streetlights started up again, and I could see, farther down, the bright golden arches of the McDonald's she was probably heading for. Wonderful, she was planning on poisoning us.

Across the street there was only one other open business. The windows were covered from inside and there were neon signs, advertisements for different brands of beer, glowing in front of them. The biggest sign, in brilliant green, was the name of the bar - One-Eyed Pete's. I wondered if there was some pirate theme not visible from outside. The metal door was propped open; it was dimly lit inside, and the low murmur of many voices and the sound of ice clinking in glasses floated across the street. Lounging against the wall beside the door were four men.

Was Jessica scared or something? I turned my attention back towards her. She clutched her purse to her side, her head turned down as she walked as fast as she could without breaking out into a full on run. She was trying not to draw any attention to herself, which was a first for Jessica.

As I was about to follow I notice that Bella had paused and was watching the men with too much interest, one looked up and locked eyes with her, a grisly smirk appearing on his darkened face.

"Bella?" Jessica hissed through clenched teeth. "What are you doing? Andy, get her!"

"Bella, let's go get fries." The look on her face was worrying me.

"I think I know them..." she muttered.

"Bella I swear to god…" I made a grab for her but she had done something I didn't expect. She started walking toward them, a spark igniting in her eyes.

"Bella! Come on!" Jessica's voice cracked with panic, she looked ready to leave us and make a run to her car. "Bella! You can't go in a bar!" she hissed as she ran across the street where I was trailing after Bella. I wanted to see what she was going to do and why it lit her up when nothing else could.

"I'm not going in," she said absently, shaking her hand off. "I just want to see something..."

"Are you crazy?" she whispered. "Are you suicidal?"

That question caught her attention, and she turned to focus her eyes on Jessica. "No, I'm not."

"Jessica, go eat. I will make sure she's okay, get me some fries and…" I blurted out a decent sized order of food for Bella and I, I shoved cash into her hand and watched as she looked between the both of us and then start jogging toward the golden arches.

-Bella p.o.v

"Bella, stop this right now!"

My muscles locked into place, froze me where I stood. Because it wasn't Jessica's voice that rebuked me now. It was a furious voice, a familiar voice, a beautiful voice - soft like velvet even though it was irate.

It was his voice - I was exceptionally careful not to think his name - and I was surprised that the sound of it did not knock me to my knees, did not curl me onto the pavement in a torture of loss. But there was no pain, none at all.

In the instant that I heard his voice, everything was very clear. Like my head had suddenly surfaced out of some dark pool. I was more aware of everything - sight, sound, the feel of the cold air that I hadn't noticed was blowing sharply against my face, the smells coming from the open bar door.

I looked around myself in shock.

"Go back to Jessica," the lovely voice ordered, still angry. "You promised - nothing stupid."

I was alone. Jessica was gone but only inches behind me stood Andy, her golden eyes reassuring me, her lips drawn into a tight line. Against the wall, the strangers watched, confused, wondering what I was doing, standing there motionless in the middle of the street.

I shook my head, trying to understand. I knew he wasn't there, and yet, he felt improbably close, close for the first time since... since the end. The anger in his voice was concern, the same anger that was once very familiar - something I hadn't heard in what felt like a lifetime.

"Keep your promise." The voice was slipping away, as if the volume was being turned down on a radio.

I began to suspect that I was having some kind of hallucination. Triggered, no doubt, by the memory - the deja vu, the strange familiarity of the situation.

I ran through the possibilities quickly in my head.

Option one: I was crazy. That was the layman's term for people who heard voices in their heads.

Possible.

Option two: My subconscious mind was giving me what it thought I wanted. This was wish fulfillment - a

momentary relief from pain by embracing the incorrect idea that he cared whether I lived or died. Projecting what he would have said if A) he were here, and B) he would be in any way bothered by something bad happening to me.

Probable.

I could see no option three, so I hoped it was the second option and this was just my subconscious running amuck, rather than something I would need to be hospitalized for.

My reaction was hardly sane, though - I was grateful. The sound of his voice was something that I'd feared I was losing, and so, more than anything else, I felt overwhelming gratitude that my unconscious mind had held onto that sound better than my conscious one had.

I was not allowed to think of him. That was something I tried to be very strict about. Of course I slipped; I was only human. But I was getting better, and so the pain was something I could avoid for days at a time now. The tradeoff was the never-ending numbness. Between pain and nothing, I'd chosen nothing.

I waited for the pain now. I was not numb - my senses felt unusually intense after so many months of the haze - but the normal pain held off. The only ache was the disappointment that his voice was fading.

There was a second of choice.

The wise thing would be to run away from this potentially destructive - and certainly mentally unstable - development. It would be stupid to encourage hallucinations.

But his voice was fading.

I took another step forward, testing.

"Bella, turn around," he growled.

I sighed in relief. The anger was what I wanted to hear - false, fabricated evidence that he cared, a dubious gift from my subconscious.

Very few seconds had passed while I sorted this all out. My little audience watched, curious. It probably looked like I was just dithering over whether or not I was going to approach them. How could they guess that I was standing there enjoying an unexpected moment of insanity?

"Hi," one of the men called, his tone both confident and a bit sarcastic. He was fair-skinned and fair-haired, and he stood with the assurance of someone who thought of himself as quite good-looking. I couldn't tell whether he was or not. I was prejudiced.

The voice in my head answered with an exquisite snarl. I smiled, and the confident man seemed to take that as encouragement.

"Can I help you with something? You look lost." He grinned and winked.

I stepped carefully over the gutter, running with water that was black in the darkness.

"No. She's not lost." Andy's voice was casual, as if this was a normal conversation with someone we actually knew.

Now that I was closer - and my eyes felt oddly in focus - I analyzed the short, dark man's face. It was not familiar in any way. I suffered a curious sensation of disappointment that this was not the terrible man who had tried to hurt me almost a year ago.

The voice in my head was quiet now.

The short man noticed my stare. "Can I buy you a drink?" he offered, nervous, seeming flattered that I'd singled him out to stare at.

"I'm too young," I answered automatically.

He was baffled - wondering why I had approached them. I felt compelled to explain.

"From across the street, you looked like someone I knew. Sorry, my mistake."

The threat that had pulled me across the street had evaporated. These were not the dangerous men I remembered. They were probably nice guys. Safe. I lost interest.

"That's okay," the confident blonde said. "Stay and hang out with us. Both of you"

"Thanks, but I can't." Jessica was slowly making her way back, her eyes still wide and panicked.

"Oh, just a few minutes."

I shook my head, and turned to rejoin Jessica and Andy.

"Let's go eat," I suggested, barely glancing at her. Though I appeared to be, for the moment, freed of the zombie abstraction, I was just as distant. My mind was preoccupied. The safe, numb deadness did not come back, and I got more anxious with every minute that passed without its return.

"What were you thinking?" Jessica snapped. "You don't know them - they could have been psychopaths! I already have the damn food! I'm taking you home, I can't deal with you anymore Bella."

I shrugged, wishing she would let it go. "I just thought I knew the one guy."

"You are so odd, Bella Swan. I feel like I don't know who you are."

"Sorry." I didn't know what else to say to that.

When we go back in the car, she tuned the stereo back to her favorite station and turned the volume too loud to allow easy conversation.

I didn't have to struggle as hard as usual to ignore the music. Even though my mind, for once, was not carefully numb and empty, I had too much to think about to hear the lyrics.

I waited for the numbness to return, or the pain. Because the pain must be coming. I'd broken my personal rules. Instead of shying away from the memories, I'd walked forward and greeted them. I'd heard his voice, so clearly, in my head. That was going to cost me, I was sure of it. Especially if I couldn't reclaim the haze to protect myself. I felt too alert, and that frightened me.

But relief was still the strongest emotion in my body - relief that came from the very core of my being.

As much as I struggled not to think of him, I did not struggle to forget. I worried - late in the night, when the exhaustion of sleep deprivation broke down my defenses - that it was all slipping away. That my mind was a sieve, and I would someday not be able to remember the precise color of his eyes, the feel of his cool skin, or the texture of his voice. I could not think of them, but I must remember them.

Because there was just one thing that I had to believe to be able to live - I had to know that he existed. That was all. Everything else I could endure. So long as he existed.

That's why I was more trapped in Forks than I ever had been before, why I'd fought with Charlie when he suggested a change. Honestly, it shouldn't matter; no one was ever coming back here.

But if I were to go to Jacksonville, or anywhere else bright and unfamiliar, how could I be sure he was real? In a place where I could never imagine him, the conviction might fade... and that I could not live through.

-Andy p.o.v

Charlie was waiting for Bella in the front room, the t.v was off and he looked like he had been pacing. He stood stoic, his arms folded tight over his chest with his hands balled into fists.

"Hey, Dad," She said absentmindedly, "Mind if I go over to Andy's?"

"Where have you been?" Charlie demanded, ignoring her question.

She looked up at him in surprise, this was the most emotion I've seen her show in months. "I went to a movie in Port Angeles with Jessica and Andy. Like I told you this morning."

"Humph," he grunted.

"Is that okay?"

He studied her face, his eyes widening as if he saw something unexpected. "Yeah, that's fine. Did you girls have fun?"

"Sure," she shrugged. "We watched zombies eat people. It was great."

His eyes narrowed. "You can go to Andy's" he finally said. She disappeared up the stairs and reappeared a few minutes later with a backpack, I still had the McDonalds.

"Bye dad" she allowed a quick hug before we departed.

"I want you to cut my hair." Her voice was tight, "It…it reminds me of him. Please"

"Of course." The minute we got into the motel room Bella shed her clothes and sat on the edge of the bathtub as I went at her long, wavy hair with the clippers.

Afterwards we ate the somehow still warm food then laid on the bed, she cried. Which, at this point, was music to my ears. She was going to make it through this. She was stronger, she was figuring things out. I just hoped I wouldn't end up having to rescue her from someone from that bar.