Happy birthday! Sadly, this isn't your birthday present but the next one is~
Disclaimer: Insert the obvious. (I do not own Batman and any of its characters –officially ;)
Catman
June 16th xoxx
"Okay Alfred, look ahead."
Alfred stared and stared and stared.
"Well..." Bruce said, "What do you think?"
"I think watching squirrels mate isn't the best of hobbies, sir. Even if that's how you get your rocks off," Alfred said, now reading the Gotham Times.
"No, the charts! The first one," he said pointing, "Shows the daily increase in crimes within the city..."
"If that chart is accurate, then in two weeks we'll be buglared by the police, and Action man will be our savior."
"My point exactly! The second chart shows the Gotham police's success rate in solving crimes against the overall crime rate."
"Your chart says the police is virtually non-existent."
"They are. If they weren't, lots of politicians and rich businessmen will be in jail, including me," Bruce said staring Alfred in the eye. He continued, "The last chart shows the success rate of criminals evading costume wearing badasses/nerdy heroes comic con wannabe desprados."
"It's low, sir. Very low."
"Indeed. There've only been three important costumed heroes ever resident in Gotham: Captain Gotham, Fagman and some other guy," he shrugged.
"This proves that as long as I'm costumed I can attack people and break stuff."
Bruce continued, "Now, I'm going as 'The Midnight Stranger', so I need a cloak, a cape, gloves, lots and lots of rubber, bulletproof, body armor, a jet pack and a utility belt that has a force field projecting device that can deflect lasers and protect me from ricotte that my bulletproof and body armor can't stop. Did you get that down?"
"Why not a balaclava, sir, like everyone else?"
Author's note: BEWARE THE FROG!