Killian staggers backwards. The loss hits him almost like a physical blow. A minute ago he had a wife, a son, a calling, a home. Now, he has nothing. The old, familiar hatred for the crocodile flares up in him but it is nothing more than a dull ache. It falls horribly short of giving him any sense of purpose or direction now that he experienced the other life.
Snippets from their months together flutter through his mind. Emma smiling at him. Henry proudly showing him an essay he wrote for school. Emma just home from work, relaxing in his arms. The three of them having breakfast together, joking around. Happy memories a moment ago that now only hurt. He's never had his heart ripped out, but he's pretty sure this is what it feels like.
David is talking to him, but the words are not penetrating his consciousness. He is struggling with the sudden grief of having lost a life. He blinks and tries to push back the pain in order to listen to the other man.
"Hook. Can you hear me? Are you alright?"
He nods weakly. So, it appears the curse has been broken. He wants to feel happy about that, but he cannot. All he can feel at the moment is despair.
David narrows his eyes, then sighs.
"Right. I guess I better go talk to Mary Margaret."
Killian nods again, still at a loss for words. He tries to feel compassion for David's situation, what was happy news a second ago is now uncertain. What if one or both of them actually don't want another child? Thankfully, he and Emma didn't try to get pregnant. What if Emma were now carrying his child, a child she didn't want? At least that nightmare passed them by. He tries to find some comfort in that.
David leaves, and Killian drops down into one of the chairs at the kitchen table, grieving for a life that was never his to begin with.
He is still lost in self pity when Henry arrives home. It's only noon, but apparently school ended early with the ending of the curse. Henry stops short when he spots him and looks uncertain. Killian stands up and tries to find words, anything, but there's nothing he can say. Nothing that could undo the knowledge that they both now have. Nothing that could even come close to describing how he feels, to the magnitude of having lost a son. He wants to tell Henry that he loves him, because he knows that it is still true. But he knows it's not his place. This boy is a stranger to him.
Henry suddenly darts forward and hugs him tightly and Killian gratefully returns the gesture. He's trying to keep his emotions in check, keep the tears that are threatening to fall at bay. He realizes how self-centred he was. From Henry's point of view, he has lost a father. At least he also gained a mother. And grandparents. He will be able to cope.
With Henry in his arms, he considers that maybe he has thought about all of this in the wrong way. Rather than bemoaning the loss of his fake life, he should be grateful that he got to experience it at all. That he got to have several months in which his biggest worry was a blank document on a computer. That, even for a fleeting moment, he got to have a family again.
The front door opens once more and Emma walks in, looking at the two of them, still embraced, with surprise. Henry lets go of him and turns around to run to his mother and give her a hug instead.
"Hey, kiddo", Emma greets him and ruffles up his hair. Henry pulls back and smiles up at her. Then he looks at Killian, then back at Emma. It looks like he decides to give them some space. He is quite grown up for his age, Killian muses.
"I'll go check on mom. Regina, I mean."
Emma nods and Henry walks off, through the still open door. Emma's gaze finally meets his, but it's unreadable. He makes a step in her direction and she takes a small step backwards. So much for talking about it.
"Emma, I-"
She lifts up her hand. "Not now. The person who cast the curse is still on the loose. And I know exactly what she looks like. We need to track her down, before she finds some way to reinstate it."
Killian nods, accepting that he will not get anywhere if he pushes. "Fine. But after we've dealt with her, we will talk about this."
Emma looks at him defiantly, her body language making it evident that that is very much up for debate.
"We need to talk to my parents. They can get the town together. It shouldn't take us long to find her if she's still in Storybrooke."
"Agreed. But they might have something else on their minds right now. Emma, your parents - Mary Margaret, she's -"
"I know. I'm going to be a big sister." A half-smile appears on her face and it's not much, but it's something.
When they arrive at the Charmings, Mary Margaret barely waits for them to close the door behind them before pulling Emma into a hug. Killian and David stand around awkwardly, avoiding each other's eyes.
"So", David says, "That happened. Again." He looks at Killian, and a clear note of hostility enters his voice. "I thought you had a plan to free us from the curse a long time ago?"
Killian clears his throat. "Remember the accident we had on the way back into town? The woman in the road? She somehow pulled me under the curse."
Emma nods. "The same thing happened to me. She made a grand speech about how 'it's all for the best', then she touched my forehead and I was out."
David goes into action. "Then we need to find her, and fast. If she still has this ability, she could put us all back under the curse."
Mary Margaret speaks up for the first time. "What I don't understand is how the curse got broken. Did it happen the same way as with the last one? Emma?"
Emma shrugs. "I don't think it was me. I mean I've been having doubts about my life-" Killian's eyebrows shoot up at hearing this. "-but I definitely wasn't at a point where I was ready to believe in magic or anything like that."
There's a knock at the door, and everybody turns around in unison. David goes to answer it. It's Henry, with Regina in tow. She looks unhappy to be dragged to the Charmings. She's carrying a massive leather-bound book.
"You have to tell them what you found out", Henry states excitedly.
Regina looks around, making sure to glare at each and every one of them in the process. Then she drops the book on the kitchen counter and opens it.
"As soon as I got my memories back, I did some research. I'm pretty sure this was no dark curse." She's met with a round of confused faces. She points at the book, motioning for people to come closer.
"It was an illusion spell. White magic." She says the last two words as if they were something unpleasant she found under her shoe. "Amateur work, really. I'm surprised it held up this long. It's not nearly as powerful or elegant as my dark curse. "
"Really, Regina? Really?"
Regina continues as if she hadn't heard Emma's interruption. "It relies on the people under the spell being happy, since that is it's primary purpose. As soon as doubt begins to spread and people start questioning their reality, it starts falling apart. Then all it takes is one final push, somebody going just that tiny bit over the edge towards unhappiness, and it all comes crashing down." She shakes her head as if she's personally offended by the shoddy craftsmanship of the spell.
"Why would somebody who wields light magic do this to people?"
"Miss Swan, how about for once you try to listen to me? Then you wouldn't have to interrupt with unnecessary questions. As I said, the purpose of it is to make people happy."
"But if it's just an illusion spell, how did it bring us back here? Shouldn't we still be in the Enchanted Forest?", David throws in.
"That is - actually a very good point. So you do have some brains behind that pretty façade after all. Who would have thought."
"Regina", Mary Margaret admonishes.
"Hmm, I guess the caster would need to combine it with a portal spell. Which could be possible if they had a magic bean. They could have used the residual-" Regina mumbles on, but Killian stops paying attention to her.
"I don't care how she did it. Let's find her and put an end to this." His words come out harsher than intended. He's still upset about what has been done to them. Especially under the guise of making them happy. He doesn't feel particularly happy at the moment.
"Agreed. Mary Margaret, can you organize a meeting at Granny's in one hour? We need to get as many people looking for her as possible. David, you're with me, since you don't know what she looks like. Regina-"
"I'll see if I can find a locator spell that doesn't require something of hers. Whoever the hell we're talking about."
"Good idea. Kil- Hook-" Their eyes meet and there is a tense moment, until Killian looks away.
"I'll keep an eye out for her as well. See you in one hour." He brushes past her, fleeing out of the door, trying to control his anger and frustration.
They reconvene at Granny's an hour later without anything to report. The meeting goes less than ideal, the townsfolk bombarding the Charmings with questions. Why are we back here? How did it happen? Who is to blame? A lot of accusations are thrown Regina's way, which David and Mary Margaret try to diffuse. Once they manage to quiet everybody down, they explain what they know so far. Search teams are organized and the grumbling townspeople file out of the diner.
It might have been a mistake to involve them, Killian thinks gloomily as he watches them go. They seem a stone's throw away from taking up torches and pitchforks. The information that the spell was likely cast with the intention to make them happy did not hot have the desired calming effect. It seems that most people actually were happy under the spell and now that that has been taken away, they are more disgruntled than ever. Killian can certainly relate.
Emma leaves the diner without so much as a word to him. He sighs and joins Leroy for their assigned search of the docks.
Killian arrives back at the house late into the night after a fruitless search. He decided to be extra thorough in order to avoid another awkward encounter with Emma. She clearly needs space to deal with what happened to them and he's willing to give it to her. To a point. Sooner or later, they will have to talk about it.
He hears a key jingle in the lock and then the door opens. Emma stops short when she sees him. She obviously had the same idea about coming back late to avoid him. She stands awkwardly next to the door, clearly uncertain how to proceed.
"I'll sleep in the guest bedroom", Killian offers.
Emma nods curtly and then quickly walks past him, up the stairs. Killian sighs. He has no idea how to fix this. Assuming Emma even wants to fix it. They were thrown headfirst into a relationship they weren't ready for. Well, he felt ready at the time to give it a try, but he would very much have liked to start at the beginning and get to know each other first, rather than finding himself in the middle of it with a set of fake memories. You know, do it the normal way. But clearly, 'normal' isn't on the menu for them.
At least Emma hasn't thrown him out of the house yet. Which gives him hope that there is still a chance for them, however small it may be.