Hello guys, how is everybody doing? My name is and today I'm posting my first fan fiction on this website. It has actually been sitting in my computer collecting dust for nearly a year now, until today that is when I finally decided to woman up and post it for you guys to read it (and hopefully give your opinion on it).
Grammar mistakes are all mine, but you should probably forgive those since English is my third language. And I kinda suck at it and this was written a long time ago so, yeah. Also, I have a weird mix of British English and American English so pay it no attention if you see me write "colors" like this and then a few lines down I write it like this: "Colours."
Disclaimer: I don't own Marvel because if I did, well, I'd be rich and married to Loki. I do however own the annoying Ben Raque who is going to be my small perverted voodoo doll for me to torture as I please.
Some of the things that I haven't mentioned in the summary are that everyone is going to appear (I actually did mention that but I feel the need to repeat it) and I am going to include other Marvel characters such as Deadpool, Gambit, and Wolverine…. And that's about it. Also, I'm not going to deny that reviews will probably encourage me and make me write faster so please don't be shy and leave one. I'll update in probably a week, give or take one day or two.
Also, can anybody guess what Natasha's object is ? Bonus points if you do. ;)
Until next time !
"Man of Iron, what is the nature of this object?" Thor walked into the room with the elegance of a rhino, legs pounding on the floor. Sometimes, it seemed to Tony that Thor was ignorant of his own strength.
"I told you not to bother me when I'm in the workshop, Goldilocks." He didn't even bother with looking back, Thor should be asking Agent Hill questions instead of him; she was the one in charge of keeping Thor and Steve up to date. Besides, he was focusing on a very important project; one that would surely impact the future of the damned planet he was living on positively.
"You may be interested in knowing that this object came from Miss Romanoff's private Bag." He couldn't help but smirk, Goldilocks did learn something from his stay. He learned how to tickle Tony's curiosity just the right way by dropping hints. Giving in, he spun his chair to face the Blonde giant only to find that indeed, the object he was clutching in his hand was really, really interesting.
"How did you get that?" If the Russian spy ever found out, Tony knew he would be as dead as the Security guard who tried to flirt with her when Clint was around. Actually, He reminded himself, George isn't dead; he just got an arrow to the butt, that's all. Well, an arrow to the ass was soooooooo worth it; this was simply priceless. "Mwahahahaha, this is wonderful." He wasn't aware he was speaking loudly until he saw Thor's deranged face; well, he was sure the Manly Barbie before him heard worse sounding things than his own mischievous laugh. Like Loki's giggle for an example.
"You see, Lady Natasha was struggling with her very heavy bag; and I, being the gentleman I am, offered to help. I set it in front of her room, like she stated in her request; however, I could not help myself from checking inside and seeing what made it so heavy. I found this weapon here, in a little bag inside and wanted to further my knowledge about its nature. That is why I came to you, Man of Iron." Thor stopped talking then, and violently shook the purple object up and down. He truly seemed interested, and Tony took it upon himself to clear the Asgardian's confusion. For I, Anthony Stark, shall be a mentor and a teacher to those who need me, He thought…Well, not really; I always wanted to use that sentence.
"I'll tell you what it is, but you need to agree on something first; 'kay Goldilocks?" Thor smiled widely, head bobbing in glee. He loved being taught new things, it was refreshing. He especially held a superb admiration for his fellow Avenger: Tony Stark. Not only was the man a genius, but he was also a genuine gentleman who always held sincere kindness in his heart. It was hard to see at first glance, or second…or even the tenth for Odin's sake! But people saw it eventually.
"Well, we're going to confront Katniss first." Tony threw his tools on the ground, taking a white towel and wiping his grease stained hands on it. The automatic pancake maker could wait later, he mournfully thought.
Ben Raque was an annoying man who thought his position as S.H.I.E.L.D supervisor gave him a right to do everything he wanted. And that's what I'm going to do…He smirked proudly, and entered the crowded room smoothly, head held high and back as straight as a needle. Too bad he was 4'6" and nobody noticed him.
Tony, with Thor by his side, walked into the empty kitchen; if he was going to go through with his plan, he needed a drink to help him. Thor automatically took a seat on the red chair that Tony installed for him specifically; the blonde giant had the habit of fidgeting too much whenever he caught the smell of food and the brute strength of his ass already broke way too many chairs. Brute strength of his ass…Repeated Tony in his head, that's a line suited for gay porn.
"Mister Stark, is the heir of Asgard really holding what I think he is holding?"
"Shut it Jarvis, you're going to draw attention to us and I'm not ready to expose our big surprise yet. Now, be a good boy and tell me where Pepper hid the booze."
"As much as I would like to respond to your request, I simply cannot. Miss Potts told me, or rather ordered me to keep the hidden location of all alcoholic drinks a secret from all Avengers until further notice; and especially from you."
Tony huffed, as much as he loved Pepper; she had a knack of ruining his fun which she labeled as mischief. "It's not fun when it causes other people worry" she would often repeat. Oh, Pepper and her idealistic morals; well, he was just going to have to execute his plan without the help of his precious friend; Alcohol.
"Well, guess who's not going to get a systematical update next week?" He knew Jarvis could care less about updates, since he was pretty much the best fully operational artificial intelligence with or without them.
"According to my charts, the answer should be me."
"Man of Iron, should we not be going? I heard our Archer friend is departing on a mission in two hours, if we do not meet with him now, we may not have the chance to meet him until after he gets back." Tony nodded his head at Thor's remark and mentioned to him that hiding the object was of utmost important, or else everyone was going to know about their secret project. After Thor did just that, Tony gestured to him with his two fingers in a "come hither" motion.
"Come on Barbie, Let's go party!" He shouted gleefully before sauntering out of the door, the blonde giant following him with a grin on his face.
Clint was pacing his room nervously, dreading the mission he was going to be involved in. He was required to fly all the way to Bulgaria to locate and take down the head of the Killer Aces, a drug dealing mob that has been causing quit the stir on SHIELD's radar ever since it started selling drugs to some mutants. Fury has specifically assigned him to the mission, with no aid and no backup because some SHIELD bureaucrat has insisted upon it.
"I only select the prettiest gems for you, Agent Barton." Has said the SHIELD bureaucrat; Ben Raque if Clint remembered correctly. "And I expect you to complete the mission, my dear" Hawkeye shuddered at the endearment coming from the 4'6" dwarf who looked like Rumplestiltskin.
"Sure, whatever you say sir."
A slight knocking on the door snapped Clint from his reveries and he headed for the door, opening it only to see his two coworkers standing with shit-eating grins on their faces.
"Oh Katniss, you're not going to believe the treasure Rapunzel found in Spidey's bag" Exclaimed Tony as he pushed him out of the way and marched into the room as if he owned the place. Thor followed him closely, holding a small black bag carefully. 'Damn, I hope that the treasure Tony's talking about isn't filled with another pretty gem'
And as Thor slowly zipped the bag open to reveal its' content, Clint only had one thought: 'Natasha's going to kill us all'
He screamed and ran out of the room, better look like a sissy than be made into one when Natasha discovers this and rips his balls out.