I am alive! I have a chapter to prove it. Sorry for the wait, I am trying believe me, but this is really hard as school and writer's block have me in their clutches. I will update as fast as I can, you all know that so please bear with me! Thanks to Phantom Claire, Scarlett Foxie, Kage Kurai, AgryHitsu, KageNekoReborn, AbsoluteReader1995, BOOGEY-MANN-HEART-ICHI, and Daiki-chan for your reviews. I sincerely hope this chapter makes up for the wait, I don't know that's for you to decide but hey! At least its out, ne?
DISCLAIMER I DO NOT OWN BLEACH ONLY THIS PLOT AND SOME OF THE OCs!
Morning came quickly for the five shinigami. The all stood outside of the gate to the fourth division, as if they planned it as their meeting place, which they didn't it just worked out like that. The only one that was not present, that could be present, was Ashido. He had sent Rukia on a head with word that he didn't feel comfortable invading in one such a private encounter.
Heading into the hospital the four shinigami were met with chaos, much like last night, but this time it seemed a lot more controlled. Toshiro looked around attempting to find any fourth squad member, preferably one that could take them to the rooms they wish, but one that could find a person who knew a person that would know where the rooms are located.
"Captain Hitsugaya?" A quiet voice questioned.
The white haired captain spun towards the voice. Eyeing speaker before he realized that it was the fourth division's vice-captain.
"Hmmm?" He grunted in response.
"What are you doing here?" Kotetsu asked.
He arched an eyebrow, was she not aware about what happened last night or did she not expect him to come again today.
"I've come to check on my Vice-Captain. The others are here to visit their friends." The small captain spoke.
Kotetsu's eyes widened. "That's right! I'm sorry, things have been crazy recently."
Toshiro and the others nodded.
"Follow me?" The purple haired shinigami politely requested.
The four shinigami followed after her. Heading down a hallway that wasn't loaded with people, a few staff members, but they were sporadic. Toshiro knew this to be the ICU, since it was a place of recovery there was very little commotion, and there were fourth squad members in a little nurses' station further down the hall so it wasn't like they were leaving their patients to fend for themselves.
"I should only be letting biological family in. But considering the circumstances, I'll let it slide this once. But you can only have two visitors in a room at once. Also there's a time limit. An hour for Matsumoto-san and Madarame-san but maybe twenty minutes for Ichigo-kun." Kotetsu explained.
"Ah, before we go in. What are their conditions?" Renji spoke up for once.
"Vice-Captain Matsumoto and Madarame-san are stable, but sleeping." Kotetsu replied in a professional manner.
"And Ichigo?" Renji pressed further.
Kotetsu hesitated the briefest amount of time, looking unsure. Panic gripped at Toshiro's heart, he had been in the hospital enough times that anytime a doctor hesitated it was never a good thing.
Finally Kotetsu spoke. "Undefined."
"Undefined?" Toshiro nearly roared, but he kept his composure.
"How can he be undefined?" Rukia interrupted.
"Well, we've only been given a twelve hour period to actually heal him, and he has a large collection of wounds, not the mention the start of a systemic infection, and from what my captain can tell this would be the second time he's had one. So we haven't really been able to heal his body that much. He also hasn't given any indication that he's in there. It's not like any coma that's ever come through these doors."
Toshiro felt bad about snapping at the vice-captain. She was right, miracles weren't very common in soul society and if they did happen sometimes it took an extremely long time for it to take effect. Not to mention the fourth division was stretched thin. The white haired captain dropped the line of questioning.
Kotetsu waited a second longer wondering if there was going to be another question, seeing that there wasn't any she continued leading the group of four down a hallway. Stopping in front of a room.
"This is Matsumoto-san and Madarame-san's room." She motioned towards the door.
Yumichika quickly headed into the room. No one disputing his right to be next to Ikkaku. Toshiro stepped towards the room, looking at the other two shinigami to see if they had any protests. All he saw on their faces were gratitude for allowing them to see their friend.
Kotetsu lead the two vice-captain away and Toshiro watched after them. He knew he did the correct thing. Those two were closer to Ichigo than him at the moment. He was also praying that Rangiku woke up soon so he could get advice from her, but only after he nagged at her for being stupid and taking on an opponent without careful consideration.
Walking into the room Toshiro saw that Rangiku had on a thick layer of bandages on her chest, and a bland hospital robe. Her pink scarf was folded up on the table next to her. There was a curtain "separating" the two patients, but he could hear Yumichika's hushed voice mumbling something to the still unconscious Ikkaku.
This being new territory for him, he was unsure about what to do. So instead he took a seat in the chair next to his busty vice-captain. He never saw the need to talk to someone who obviously couldn't hear you, but according to people it actually did help, and sometimes they could actually hear you. Yumichika didn't seem to mind that he was talking to someone who couldn't hear him.
So Toshiro decided he would spend this time attempting to figure how he was going to get Ichigo to realize the bond they had when the orange-haired teen woke up.
Of course Toshiro knew that logically there was a slim chance the substitute shinigami would actually make it, but thinking that made the white-haired captain's chest clench in uncomfortable ways, so he decided that for this one thing that he would let his heart rule.
Still he needed help. But looking over at Rangiku's still form he wouldn't be getting help from her anytime soon.
Rukia and Renji followed after their fellow Vice-Captain. Rukia walked ahead knowing that each step brought her closer to her friend, and whatever state that he might be in. She was also preparing herself for some sort of gruesome scene. Still the only thing that kept flashing in her mind was the time she had seen Ichigo laying completely still in a puddle of his own blood. It had terrified her, but the baka had managed to pull through that as well. The petite vice-captain had no doubt that Ichigo would do it again.
Kotetsu opened the door, holding it so that the two vice-captains could walk into the room. "I'll be back shortly."
Renji and Rukia were left alone with Ichigo. Renji headed over to lean against the wall, and Rukia took the chair beside Ichigo's bed.
Seconds passed by in silence. Renji cleared his throat just so he had something to do.
Rukia sighed, she reached up and to took Ichigo's hand in both of hers. She noted that the large hand, while it was still Ichigo's. It was different. Instead of being strong and warm, it was boney and slightly cold. For the most part Rukia had avoided looking at Ichigo, but now her eyes trailed from the hand up his arm, which was covered in scars and scabs, and the wrist had bones start to protrude. The skin was stretched tight and the small tan that Ichigo was normally colored had faded into an almost bone white pale.
She couldn't tell if it was from the lack of sun or blood loss or a combination of both.
Still the raven-haired shinigami pressed on, she reached his shoulders, once well muscle there were dips by his collar bone and neck. Bandages wrapped themselves from the upper half of his upper arm and around his chest up his neck. Rukia knew that there was also bandages on the lower half as well.
Following the now thin neck up, her gaze softened as it landed on his face. The strong jaw and high cheek bones, which had made him fairly attractive but not overly so, now stretched his skin so you could see the cheek bones protruding clearly now. Rukia released Ichigo's hand with one of her own and reached up. Tracing the protruding bone as lightly as she could, avoiding looking at how sunken the hollows of his eyes were. Observing that the skin wasn't exactly only pale, it had a slight green tint to it.
Rukia sighed sadly holding back her tears, Ichigo looked so fragile now. She didn't know how someone could deteriorate this quickly, there had to be something more going on. She could tell that the muscle loss and weight loss were due to the lack of use and food. To mention fighting off what looked like a pretty bad infection and who knows what else.
The raven-haired girl tried to figure out what could cause someone as strong as Ichigo to just seemingly give up. She was certain that surrender wasn't in the strawberry haired teen's vocabulary unless he was asking someone else to do it. Rukia couldn't be for certain that Ichigo had really given up, but with such low scores and weak vitals, there was no other way to describe it. Had he receded so far into himself because he found that there was no hope in the situation.
Rukia couldn't, wouldn't, believe that was the case. She preferred to think like everyone else, that this was his captor's doing. That this was their first act of war, disabling Soul Society's trump card so that the soldiers were demoralized and frightened. But since only the captains and those who went on the mission know about Ichigo and this new threat, the Neo-Gotei had failed in their objective.
Only, Rukia had to admit to herself, after hearing the report and seeing their base, it was entirely possible that Ichigo really did lose hope because there was no hope to be found.
The vice-captain was disillusioned, she knew that Ichigo was strong and could handle his fair share of things, but everyone had their limits, even if they were fighters. She knew that fighting and strength could provide only so much.
She grit her teeth. The people who did this to Ichigo needed to pay. But first she just wanted him to open his eyes, look at her and tell her to stop looking so pathetic. She wanted to see amber eyes dance with mirth when he wouldn't let the rest of his face show it. Maybe even one of those rare smiles that he never showed anyone, the ones were his entire face lit up and the happiness he felt was contagious.
Rukia was at a loss as to what needed to be said. Their time was short but she couldn't summon the words to convey all she was trying to explain. She looked over at Renji for assistance, but the tattooed man shrugged seemingly in the same mindset that she was in. Her violet eyes flicked to Ichigo's face, and as expected it yielded no answers.
Twenty minutes passed without a single word being said. Rukia alternated from holding Ichigo's hand to trailing feather light touches across his face, not even the slightest indication that he was even there
She had tried not to focus totoo much on the fact that she couldn't feel his reiatsu. Even with his condition she should be able to feel it, even if itsit's just a small amount. But it did explain why he wasn't healing as fast as normal. The fouthfourth division had to devote half of their own reiatsu trying to restore at least some of Ichigo's that way he could begin to replenish it and start healing at a more efficantefficient rate.
True to her word the moment that twenty minutes had elapsed Kotetsu came to collected them a depositieddeposited them in the waiting room. Toshiro came strolling out shortly after. Rukia watched the captain out of hethe corner of her eye. She knew something was off with the white haired male but she couldn't put her finger on it. There was just an aura surrounding him that she didn't want to mess with.
They were stuck waiting for another forty minutes while Yumichika finished up his visit. When the feathered man finally came walking down the hallway the four shinigami departed to finish the tasks that they all had to do post-mission. It was annoying but it had to be done.
Meanwhile…
Urahara made his way through the fourth division. StriidingStriding around like he owned the place. He stopedstopped in a few places looking for the fourth's captain. Finally he spotted the vice-captain.
"Kotetsu-san~!" He called cheerily.
The Vice-captain looked distinctly nervous. "Can I help you Captain Urahara?"
"Where is you captain at the moment?" He asked smiling pleasantly.
"In her office that way." Kotetsu pointed down a long hallway.
Urahara inclined his head towards her and headed down the hallway. He reached what looked like the office door, looking around he saw a lack of squad members and paitentspatients so he figured he was in the correct place. correc
Knocking on the door he didn't wait for a confirmation but instead opened it and waltzed right on in. As expected the fourth division captain was hunched over her desk reading what looked to be a very ancient book. To Urahara's benefit she managed to only look slightly annoyed.
"I certainly did not miss that part of you Kisuke." She said in a way of greeting.
"So you did miss me?" The male said with a grin.
"Not in the slightest." Unohana ground out. "Why are you here?"
"To help of course!" Urahara chirped.
The fourth division captain was known for having extreme patience, but this man was wearing her down.
"And how prey tell will you do that?" She questioned.
"By helping you with the boy, Kurosaki."
"You know what's wrong with him? Unohana questioned doubtfully.
"To some extent, I can guess." Urahara shrugged sitting down in one of the chairs.
"Then what's the matter with him?"
"I don't know everything, but I think there is a way to get his reiatsu back to the sensing level."
"How?"
"By using his Soul Mate."
"He's too young to have one! Not to mention we don't know who it is, even if by some chance he got it. Unless it was his true one it changes every time that people are reborn, so it's practically useless to know their former one." Unohana sighed.
"But what if I know that it's the true one?"
"I'd call you crazy."
"Hypothetically then?" Urahara shrugged.
"Very well. How would we use his soul mate?"
"Well, from what I've studied, and read in your notes." Urahara promptly ignored the annoyed look that Unohana got. "It seems like Kurosaki's reiatsu has become reclusive."
"I surmised as much."
"Let me continue. But Soul Mates, as a fickle thing as they may seem, do pose a benefit."
"Go on."
"Since they're so rare it's hard to find cases of it, but I've stumbled across enough to make an accurate hypothesis. Soul mates reiatsu reacts to each other, if reiatsu was a tangible thing and seen in everyday life, not when you're summoning all of your power to attack, you would see that soul mates' reiatsu intertwine with each other. Reaching out to each other subconsciously."
"That meaning?"
"Well if Ichigo's reiatsu has just gone reclusive and unable for us to contact then his soul mate would have an advantage to feeling it and coaxing out to the point where you can do something with it." Urahara concluded.
"That's a complete long shot and really doesn't have any scientific standing." Unohana huffed.
Urahara shrugged. "Maybe it does, maybe it doesn't. But all we have to go on is fate and the word of a rather brilliant man."
Unohana shot him a scathing look. "I'll consider it, after all other possible scientific courses can be ruled ineffective."
Urahara shrugged. "Very well. But isn't out entire society unscientific, the humans have considered us akin to divinity, and isn't that in its nature pseudoscientific?"
Urahara began to leave the office.
"You said you know who his soul mate? Who is it?"
Urahara grinned slyly. "It's our lovely tenth squad division captain, Toshiro Hitsugaya."
If Unohana had been drinking or eating thing, she would've choked on it or spit it out. She regained her composure quickly. "Now I'm sure you're nuts."
Urahara chuckled. "I was sure long before you."
Ichigo stared out into the now somewhat clear land. He could see for miles and after so long with only seeing the snow and not very far, maybe as far as his nose, it was nice but depressing all the same. He had found a good shelter and he was afraid to venture out incase another blizzard started up.
A little while ago, he felt tickling sensations going across his face. He had tried bat it away but it had stayed, he couldn't tell what it was and it was actually kind of annoying. But in a twisted sense he found himself wanting to lean into that touch, to let it comfort him, because he knew that if he ever got out of this icebound world he would be plagued with nightmares. Nightmares of his captivity and this place.
To say that his wish was to get out of this place, that would be an understatement, to get out of this place was his prayer. Not really believing in traditional deities, the only things that he had seen that could be classified as gods were the shinigami, and they were created for harvesting souls. Ichigo winced at the bitterness in his own head, but he hadn't seen something that could be classified as a God. He supposed it could be the spirit king, having never seen him it was a tough call.
Ichigo wished that he had a better grasp of the outside world. He had no idea how much time had passed since he had come here, and he didn't know how long he could exist here. Surely there was a time limit, and if Glow was going to be the only company that he would ever had, providing the guy would come back, it was a bleak looking existence. The thing about existing forever in this nebulous state was that he would rather end it than stay here staring as snowstorms came and passed. But as far as he could tell there was no way to end himself. This place had no beginning or end.
Well he supposed those two guys he "dreamt" about could be the beginning but who would be the end? His physical body dying? Or was that still not enough to rip him out of this frozen hell?
Surprisingly he found himself wiping at sticky tracks that started to make their way down his face. He was crying. He didn't know he could do that here. He felt like screaming but as he opened his mouth to do just that he realized that his voice had faded from disuse, but he managed a weak croak. The tears came faster now, he wasn't strong enough to even talk. How's that for a pathetic existence.
Right now he was begging for a release from this endless torture. He could care less about the cost, and this was probably the weakest, most selfish, thing he had ever done.
How was it fair that he get punished when all he had ever done was mostly selfless? Sure sometimes he fought because he wanted to win, but in the long run he wanted to win because he had to, in order for his goals to be accomplished which mostly consisted of him running around and saving everyone.
Was it because he was a savior that he could not be saved?
What a bleak existence this was turning out to be. If even the most noble selfless heroes were left to die because there was no one that was strong enough to save them. Being the strongest did have its drawbacks, but this had to be the most severe of them all.
Or was it because he upset the balance of life and death? Like Rukia had warned, some souls had to be sacrificed, but he had gone and stubbornly saved everyone that he could.
Ichigo smiled faintly, a bitter, sick smile, but a smile none the less. If he thought about this being punishment for upsetting the greater balance then he could live with it.
If you call huddling in a cave afraid to move, in case a snowstorm brewed and he was left wandering yet again, living. Surrounded by nothing but the snow and an ice cave, Ichigo allowed himself to break down. Not able to scream to break the silence of this world.
He had thought himself a strong person, but instead he was the weakest of them all. He wasn't even strong enough to utter a plea for help.
He truly was a pitiful existence.
Don't ask me what happened at the end. Cause I don't even know, but I do so, I just felt like some angst at the moment. Don't hurt me for it. You know the drill, leave your thoughts below, or even send me a PM! Anyway, I pray I get the next chapter out sooner, we shall see. Later! ~IF