A/N: Yay, update! So anyway, if you know what happened during The Avengers (which I am 100% sure you guys do), then I'm pretty sure you can follow with this chapter. Enjoy!

Things weren't supposed to end up this way.

"Melinda…" She remembers Natasha calling her earlier this day. Chills run in her skin, and she finds herself unable to speak. She gulps, and breathes heavily. She knows something's up. She knows something went wrong.

"I'm sorry, Melinda." Natasha had said. Melinda feels her heart pounding against her chest. Her throat is dry. She gulps more and breathes, trying hard to recall if Natasha had done something wrong to her, hoping that she did, hoping that it's on Natasha, not…

"Where's Phil?" Melinda had managed to ask, her voice hoarse and soft. There was silence on the other line and Melinda closed her eyes, pressing her lips together.

"He's dead, Melinda." And that was when she dropped the phone.

She marches her way to the director's office on the top floor of the headquarters, trying her best to hold back the tears, willing herself to disbelieve whatever Natasha had told her. She reaches the elevator and once the door closed, a tear escapes from her eye. She wipes it off quickly and breathes heavily. She takes a deep breath, and exhales loudly, closing her eyes, willing herself to calm down. She opened her eyes just in time when the elevator door opens and sees the director facing away from the elevator, his head bowed down and hands clasped together behind his back.

Melinda stops in her tracks, a small sob escaping from her lips. Fury looked to where Melinda is, his eyes soft. Melinda just stares at him, her eyes glistening with tears, questioning him whether the news is true or not. Fury, seeming to understand her, nods and faces her. Melinda allows her tears to fall from her eyes and sobs escape her lips. Fury walks over to Melinda and wraps his arms around her small frame, which surprises her, but she is not as surprised as the death of the man she loved, and she still loves.

"I should have been there," Melinda cries out, her head buried on the director's chest. "I should have been with him. He couldn't have died. He couldn't."

Fury sighs and holds Melinda's shaking body firmly. He knows nothing he could say will comfort this mourning woman, as he knows that she is wallowing in guilt that shouldn't be hers. Fury had put Phil in charge of the Avengers Initiative and he knows far too well that so far, it isn't working, but he knows this is not the end.

Perhaps his death is just the beginning of something.

It's a rainy Sunday when they decided to hold a complete burial ceremony for him in a chapel, with the presence of the U.S. president and people from the U.S. government honouring the death of a fallen agent who served their country. The Avengers was complete, all wearing black tuxedos and a black dress for Natasha, who stands beside her. Maria Hill is beside Nick Fury, sitting across them, heads bowed as the priest goes on with the ceremony.

Melinda looks around and sees Audrey not far away from where she is, crying silently with her head bowed down.

Fury had asked Melinda to be the one to give a eulogy for Phil, on behalf of S.H.I.E.L.D. While Melinda thinks the idea is pathetic, as she is, after all, not his partner in the field anymore, Fury thinks it's right, for everything that they had went through, in and out of the field, before and after the Academy.

Once Phil's mom was done speaking, she was called in next to deliver the eulogy.

Natasha stands up with her, both walking in front to where the podium is. Melinda looks at Natasha, who gives her a nod and a small smile, before she steps in the podium. She sighs and looks at the crowd all wearing black. She looks down at her hands, resting on the podium and takes a deep breath.

"Phil Coulson and I were partners on the field before," she starts, trying her best to even out her voice. "And at some point even before we went to work with S.H.I.E.L.D., we were more than just partners in the field. He was my lover, even during the Academy, before working with S.H.I.E.L.D., and even shortly while in S.H.I.E.L.D.

"Phil was a good man, always has been. He follows orders like a good agent should. He watches the backs of his teammates, most especially his partners." Melinda looks at the Avengers. "He puts his faith on people he knows can make a difference on this world, and does not give up on them." Melinda looks away from them, when they had lowered their heads. "He always sees the good in people, always thinking that there is a bright side to everything, that there is still something good in them. Even if nobody else sees it, Phil does.

"He had so much love to give to the world, to people. And it is both overwhelming and humbling that I was one of the people he gave his love to," Melinda pauses, her voice caught in her throat. She gulps and takes a deep breath. "Even if I couldn't even count the number of times I pushed him away, thinking I don't deserve that kind of love from a man with a good heart."

Melinda looks behind her and stares at a photo of Phil. Her eyes start welling up with tears. "He may not be here right now, nor ever, but he will always be with me, inside my heart and all of our hearts. He will always be in my heart when I go to sleep, and be the first one I think of when I wake up in the morning. Phil, if you're listening, and I know you are, wherever you are…" She gulps down, tears welling in her eyes. She opens her mouth to say something, but no voice comes out of her mouth. She breathes in deeply and sighs, settling for what she thinks would be the best way to say what she wants to say: "You will be remembered." she finishes before stepping out of the podium.

Natasha walks down with her back to her seat, eyeing her carefully. "That's not what you wanted to say." she says quietly.

Melinda looks at her friend and sighs. "Some things just aren't meant to be said to the big crowds, I guess." she replies.

Under the grey heavy clouds and the downpour of rain, Melinda holds up her black umbrella above her as she stares down at the hole where Phil's white coffin is. She is alone, in her thoughts, in her grief and in her own world where she wished she could've let Phil in.

She wonders if she's cursed; every time she loves, the person slips out of her grip. When she had loved Phil so much, he slipped away from her fingers. When she had fallen in love with her baby girl, she was taken away, unknown where she is years after. When she had loved Andrew, Bahrain happened. When she loved Phil all over again, this time, he was taken away from her permanently.

Does she not deserve love at all? Is she not meant for loving? To be loved?

She doesn't hear the light footsteps and does not notice Audrey standing beside her, her own black umbrella above her head.

Audrey glances over at Melinda who just continues to look at the white coffin in that hole, where the man they both love is buried. She sighs and pulls out a package from a separate bag, a shoebox wrapped in manila paper, and stares at it. She tentatively glances back up at Melinda.

"I know you're not the type to snoop in people's belongings, especially those who are dead," she starts. She hears Melinda hums softly in acknowledgement, as Audrey sighs in relief. "But I did, yesterday, and I found this."

Melinda looks at her, then on the black box in Audrey's hands. She glances back at her, her eyes glistening and questioning.

"Unsent letters, photos and a lot more. Phil placed it in a box to gather everything and, I guess it's meant for you and her." Her. Their daughter. "And don't worry, I never read a single letter that's in the box." Audrey hands the box to Melinda, who takes it slowly and stares at it. "Thought you'd want to have it, you know, as a concrete reminder of him."

Melinda does not speak. She gulps and looks at Audrey, who looks at her with glossy eyes. "I…I don't know what to say." Melinda admits softly, looking back down at the box in her hands.

"Phil loved you, he really did," Audrey says softly. "And I know Phil when he loves someone." Melinda looks back up at Audrey. "He looks at you and speaks about you in a different way."

"Love doesn't have to look the same for each person." Melinda whispers, enough for Audrey to hear, who only chuckles.

"Sounds like something Phil would say." Audrey comments. Melinda lets a tear slip from her eye as she sighs.