Hey everyone, sorry this late, but I got a little busy with classes. With the holiday coming up, I'm not sure how next weeks chapter will work, but I'm hoping to stay on track. Thanks for reading!

Chapter Seventeen

Jocelyn

"I've missed this so much, my dear," said Valentine, pressing his lips to a soft spot n Jocelyn's neck. She hummed, smiling a bit in response, but he continued kissing along her neck until he reached her lips. "I missed you so much."

"I'm here now," she said against his lips, and repositioned herself so Valentine could sit above her. His hands ran the length of her legs, resting on her thighs, before rising still farther up. She gasped and closed her eyes, forcing herself to drift away, away from Valentine and all the horrors he had wrought.

It worked, but just barely, and Jocelyn suspected that with time, she would lose the ability to block out Valentine. She was able to picture Luke, smiling at her, running his hand through her hair, and she relaxed a little. How she wished she would have just told him the truth! All those days, all those years, they could have had it all, but she had been too much of a fool.

I'm so sorry, Luke, Jocelyn thought fiercely, her heart throbbing painfully. I loved you, and I never said it. Now-now I never will. I loved you, Luke, I-

"I always loved you," Jocelyn murmured, and she felt Valentine's heavy body carefully shifting its weight off her. He landed beside her on the bed, looking at her in a bemused sort of way. She blinked, noticing that Valentine had finished and was expecting her to explain herself. "I always loved you, even when I was away."

Valentine's grey eyes stared at her face hungrily, seeking out the truth behind her words, but she kept her gaze steady and let some of her hair fall into her eyes. "Always? Even when you thought of Jonathan?"

As he expected, Jocelyn flinched, but she recovered herself well. "I loved my son, but I loved you too, and there was no way I could forget what we had, even in light of what had happened to Jonathan. I will admit, though…Jace is a welcome addition."

This seemed to upset Valentine, because he rolled on his back, staring up at the ceiling with a look of melancholy upon his face. "I don't know what to do with him, Jocelyn, especially after his little stunt in the city. Every time I think I can trust him, he betrays me."

"I think you just need to give him a reason to trust you," said Jocelyn kindly. "He's only seen such a hard side of you, and it's not your fault, this is something you've had to be to become the leader of the Clave, but he only knows you that way. Maybe he needs a father, not a leader."

"He abandoned Clarissa in the street," Valentine pressed, and looked distinctly displeased. "I want him to be happy, but how can I manage that when he won't even take care of our daughter. The girl, I remind you, that he professes to love."

"He does love Clary," said Jocelyn swiftly. "He was scared."

"Scared? Scared of what?"

Of you and Jonathan and all the horrible things you've done to his family. "Of disappointing you. I'm sure he thought that by failing to defend Clary, you would be angry with him."

"Do you think that was it?" Valentine was truly asking her, and Jocelyn realized how much influence she might have over the situation.

"I believe it with all by heart," she said evenly. "He's a good boy, Valentine, but he just needs to know he can trust you when things don't go quite according to plan. He just needs a little reassurance is all."

Valentine sighed heavily. "Then I find I regret having punished him."

"What did you do?" Jocelyn asked delicately, afraid of what he might say. "Nothing too horrible, I hope."

Valentine shrugged. "He'll certainly recover."

That just means you did something you don't want me to know. "Then he'll certainly forgive you."

"I'm glad you think so," said Valentine, and then reached out and pulled Jocelyn against him. She rested her cheek gently against his bare chest and he ran his hands through her hair, humming thoughtfully. "I don't know what I'd do if I didn't have you behind me."

"You would be very much the same, I think," said Jocelyn softly. "You could never be anything else than what you are: a leader."

"Will you talk to Jace tomorrow? Tell him I went about this all wrong," said Valentine, and though Jocelyn was surprised by his admission, she was certain there was a secret in Valentine's voice, and she wasn't quite sure she liked it.

Isabelle

"You knew," Isabelle accused, her eyes blazing. "You knew all along why Malachi wanted me. You said as much the first day I was here!"

Myra frowned and looked down at her hands. "Yes, I knew."

Isabelle shrieked, unable to voice her anger properly. At her desk, Alec shot her a sympathetic look. "Did he expressly say that he wanted you to marry him?"

"I don't know, Alec," Isabelle snapped, "I believe he said, he wanted me to stay here as his wife, but maybe I've completely mistaken his intentions. Of course he wants me to marry him!"

Alec knew better than to argue back with his sister, especially when she was in such a state. "Have you any way of saying no?"

"Valentine has Simon," Isabelle said miserably, flopping down on her bed. "He'll kill him if I say no. By the Angel, I hate that man!"

Alec wondered vaguely if she was referring to Valentine or Malachi, but didn't push it. Instead, he slouched in his seat and rested his chin on his arm. "I suppose the way forward from here is clear, then."

"How do you mean?" Isabelle asked, turning her head to stare at her brother. "Malachi has given me a week to decide. He wants to make the engagement announcement in front of the Clave and get Valentine's blessing." Isabelle scrunched her nose at the thought of Valentine's blessing.

"We need to push back the announcement until the celebration," said Alec. "That's our only chance to see Jace and Clary, the only chance we have to make a plan. As long as we can just talk to them, figure something out, it won't matter what you say to Malachi."

Isabelle, twirling a piece of hair pursed her lips in thought. Myra spoke instead, and she sounded rather thoughtful. "You're brother could be right, miss. Ask Malachi until the night of the celebration, because you want to make the engagement announcement to the public and your friends and family. I think he might be amendable to such a thing."

"I'd still have to let him know I agreed to go along with it," said Isabelle nervously.

"It's not like you'll have to swear on the Angel," said Myra. "All you have to do is tell Malachi you'll marry him, but tell him you want the rest of the month to plan and prepare for the engagement."

Isabelle glanced between Alec and Myra. "Do you really think he'll let me?"

"Tell him it's a woman thing," shrugged Myra.

"I hate this," Isabelle moaned, and curled up into a small ball on the bed, staring at the wall. "I never thought this was going to happen; I never thought…I never-"

"Isabelle?" Alec asked carefully, and then gasped when he heard the small sniffling sounds coming from Isabelle. She was crying. "Isabelle, don't cry, we'll work this out."

Isabelle flipped over, her tears drizzling down her face, and she opened her mouth to speak when a pounding on the door made her freeze. "In the bathroom!" she hissed as Alec, who managed to clamber in and close the door.

The hand knocked again and Myra answered, "Isabelle is not decent, master."

"Mother?"

"Archer," sighed Myra, pulling wide the door and ushering him in. "What are you doing here? I thought I told you to stay in the kitchen?"

Archer looked down at his feet, but his eyes moved to Isabelle. "I heard from one of the maids that Isabelle is going to live with us permanently. I wanted to know if it was true."

"Who said that?" asked Isabelle sharply, going to open the bathroom door.

"A maid." Archer watched Isabelle help Alec back to his chair. "Is it true? Are you going to live with us?" The young boy's eyes were glowing with excitement and Isabelle realized how much he must have wanted her to live with them. Again, she saw little Max before her instead of Archer.

"Malachi has asked me to marry him," said Isabelle carefully, looking quickly to Myra. The older woman shook her head slowly. Isabelle couldn't tell Archer the truth. "I have a bit of time to decide, however."

"But you're going to say yes, aren't you?" Archer rushed at her and took her hand, pulling it excitedly. "You can live here with me. You can help me train, like you promised! Then, you can see me go to school! We can cook together! We can-"

"Archer," said Myra sharply, and her eyes were warning. "Why don't you help Alec upstairs and get him ready for dinner while Isabelle and I discuss the wedding."

"But-"

"Now, Archer," she said, and Archer fell back to Alec, looking a little disappointed. As soon as they had gone, Myra turned to Isabelle. "You must see him directly after you meal, speak to him, convince him to hold off on the announcement until the celebration. That's just two weeks away, not long at all."

"But why?" said Isabelle, thinking fast. "What reasons can I give that would make any sense?"

"Just tell him you want the entire city to know. Besides," and here, Myra smiled ruefully, "you're a beautiful woman. Malachi is going to want everyone to know that you agreed to marry him."

"I wish I was-I was-" Isabelle spun away and stared at herself in the mirror of her room. For so long, she had admired her own appearance, loved the way her hair fell perfectly around her face, loved her large, brown eyes, and loved her curvy, woman's figure. She had been told again and again as she grew how beautiful she was, how stunning, how absolutely perfect she was. Now, looking at herself in all that glory, she wanted to curl up and die. "I wish I was hideous."

"No you don't, dear," said Myra, and she came forward and began petting her hair down. Isabelle shuddered under Myra's gentle hands, and she knew she wanted to cry. "You're a beautiful woman, and that's a gift, but more importantly, you're a strong woman. Beautiful and strong, and that is nothing to be ashamed of."

Beautiful and strong…I'm being forced to marry a man old enough to be my father, and if I refuse, he'll kill my-well, he'll kill my Simon.

"You will find, Isabelle, that a strong woman, not to mention a stunning woman, can make her life as she chooses so long as she is cunning. You can have your freedom, Isabelle, so long as you keep your husband pleased."

"I don't want him pleased!" Isabelle said furiously, but she was still shaking. "I just want him to leave me alone."

"Just learn to operate within the system and you can have whatever you want," she said soothingly. "We'll help you along the way, and before you know it, we can get you out of Malachi's grasp."

Isabelle's knees finally gave out and she collapsed before the mirror. Myra sighed and kissed the crown of her head before setting to work getting Isabelle presentable. She brushed the girl's hair until it shined, scrubbed her face until it glowed, and dressed her in the most flattering gown she had. When Isabelle saw herself next, she was dressed in a dark blue evening gown that was synched all up and down her body and flared out at her knees.

"Look at you," Myra said gently, she held Isabelle's face up to the mirror. "You can have anything you want, just smile and laugh and tell him what he wants to hear."

Isabelle straightened up and caught her own reflection. Slowly, playfully, she smiled up at herself and nodded her head firmly. "Time for dinner, isn't it?"

Alec arrived five minutes later, dressed casually in a nice shirt and pants, and smiled bravely over at his sister. He was shocked at first to see how beautiful she was, but he realized that this was why Malachi wanted to marry his sister. The thought spurred him forward and Alec drew Isabelle protectively against his side, holding her tightly against him.

"If Malachi does anything-"

"I think I can handle this, Alec," she said with a swift, uncertain smile. "I'm not completely helpless you know. You remember the trouble I used to give mom and dad?"

Alec chuckled good naturedly as they descended down to dinner. "I guess Malachi didn't know what he was getting himself into when he agreed to take us on."

"The Lightwoods together," Isabelle said firmly, and she leaned closer against Alec. "Think you're well enough to convince Malachi to let you back to school?"

Alec grinned down. "I think Emma has worked a miracle; I'm more than ready to show off."

Isabelle nodded and said, as they walked into the dining room, "Give him a show."

Malachi looked surprised to see Alec up and about, and he gave the young man a once over. He looked much better than he had a few weeks ago, and his eyes had a determined light to it. Malachi noticed with a spark of annoyance that he was holding quite protectively onto Isabelle, and he met Malachi's gaze with a steady blue-eyed stare.

"Up and about, Lightwoods?" Malachi asked, smiling indulgently only at Isabelle.

"Very much," said Isabelle, feeling his hungry eyes on her. "Alec's made a full recovery and is ready to attend school again."

Malachi raised an eyebrow. "I was unaware Alec was going to be returning to school."

"I can't imagine why not," said Isabelle, leading Alec down the line of chairs and standing before Malachi. "He came from one of the most prominent shadowhunter families, and I'll be damned before I see that family name diminished."

"Well," said Malachi, seeing Isabelle's even face, "I can't have my future wife displeased. Tomorrow, Alexander, I'd like you to meet me in the room where Isabelle takes her dance lessons. You'll demonstrate your skills to me and I'll decide whether it is appropriate to allow you back to school."

Alec smirked. "I think you'll find I'm quite back to normal." He graciously pulled out a chair for Isabelle and helped he sit down before returning his attention to Malachi. "So, I heard I'm going to have a…brother."

Malachi was shocked that Alec would speak boldly to him. "Isabelle has been so gracious as to accept my proposal."

"Indeed," Alec said sarcastically, and Isabelle had to hide her smile at the look on Malachi's face. "You'll be announcing the engagement then?"

Malachi placed a hand on Isabelle's and Alec frowned. "Soon. As soon as the next Clave meets."

"I meant to ask you about that," said Isabelle delicately, slipping her hand out from under his. Her eyes were smoldering gently and her smile was curved upward, inviting and charming. "I admit that I'm…a little nervous."

"You've nothing to be nervous of," said Malachi, clasping his hands. "You're a lovely young woman, and marriage is completely acceptable at your age."

To an old goat? She looked down into her lap and her eyes found Alec's. "Still, it might just be because I'm young and foolish, but I thought that perhaps we could wait to announce the engagement. Just a few weeks!" she added hastily when Malachi frowned. "I want to make the announcement at the celebration in two weeks time. I thought that since we're going to be dining among the highest ranking shadowhunters, our friends and peers, that it would be more…boastful, if I might use the word."

She waited on bated breath while Malachi considered her words. At last, he spoke. "Boastful?"

"There are many of my friends and family that I want to know that I'm marrying such a pronounced member of the Clave. Besides, we'll be celebrating as it is and it seems like such an opportune moment."

"It would certainly make a statement," mused Malachi.

"Please, Malachi," Isabelle whined softly, her eyes fluttering up to his face and turning large and round. Alec had to give her credit, she knew men well. "It's only a few weeks; we're engaged as it is, I've already agreed to it."

"True, true," he murmured, but Isabelle knew she had won when his face softened under her large, pleading look. "I suppose we could wait."

"Thank you!" Isabelle sighed, her eyes glowing. "It'll be so much better then, with everyone celebrating, and my friends there…I'll make sure I look absolutely gorgeous. More time to prepare; I'll have a new dress made."

"Yes, do that," said Malachi suddenly, as if it had all been his idea. "You should look stunning when we make the announcement."

"I want Alec there," said Isabelle quickly, clasping her brother's arm. "Alec can be there, too, can't he?"

"I-I don't see why not," Malachi said after a beat, but his eyes darted quickly to Alec, looking thoroughly displeased. "It is a family event, after all."

Me, Alec, Clary and Jace, we'll all be there now, thought Isabelle triumphantly. It's the last chance we'll ever have to make this right. The last chance I'll get to make this right. "I wouldn't want it any other way."

Jace

Someone was shaking Jace awake, and he groaned, trying to roll away, but the lashes on his back stung and he had to remain still. The hand shook him another time and he cleared his throat to speak. "Clary…I can't…"

"Jace, wake up."

Jace's eyes snapped open and he found himself looking up into a very severe face. "Jocelyn?"

"You've been asleep for more than a day, I thought it was time I checked in on you," she murmured, pressing the hair back off his face. "Valentine seemed worried last time I spoke with him…"

"Worried?" Jace croaked, catching her eyes and trying to sit up.

"Don't sit up, you're too tired," she said softly. "Yes, he said he felt bad for having hurt you, though what he did, he didn't tell me. I can only assume that if he regretted it, I would be horrified by it."

"Well, you're not wrong there," said Jace, relaxing back into his bed. "Where's Clary?"

"Training," said Jocelyn disdainfully. "I don't know what she's doing, but Valentine woke her early and they left together for the woods behind the house."

Jace frowned. "Maybe tracking, hunting, I don't know. Where's Jonathan?"

"Clave business," she said after a moment. "It's just you and me today."

"Excellent," Jace muttered.

"I brought you breakfast, you know," she said, smiling at his look of disappointment. Of course he had wanted her daughter. "You might do well to eat and get back a bit of your strength."

Jace peeked around Jocelyn and saw a tray with steaming eggs, bacon, and toast waiting for him. "I would be crazy to say no to a free breakfast."

Jocelyn smiled and placed the tray on her lap, carefully passing him fork fulls of eggs. As he ate, she watched him closely and he finally said, "Not that I'm not flattered, but staring is a little rude."

"Valentine said you were hurt, but I don't see any marks on you," she said. "What happened?"

Jace scowled down at his hands. Why do you always have to see me when I'm hurt? Why do you always know when I'm in pain? "My back," he said in an offhand way.

"May I look?"

No. "Yes."

Under Jocelyn's scrutinizing gaze, Jace rolled over onto his belly and waited while Jocelyn rolled his shirt up. As he expected, Jocelyn gasped leaned back in her seat. Jace caught the look on her face, and he knew his back must have looked bad.

"That bad?" he asked casually as he could.

"Why didn't you tell me about this?" she asked, her hand hovering over the first lash. "You should have sent Clary to get me immediately, not wait around a few days. I could have helped-"

"Clary said you were in a tight spot," Jace answered, and he saw her gaze drop guiltily. "Not that tight, huh?"

"This is different," Jocelyn murmured, and touched the tip of her finger to one of the scares. Jace flinched under her touch but she ran her finger along the length of the scar anyway. "These aren't going to heal properly."

"No, but I could have told you that," Jace said, jerking away from her touch. "There's nothing you could have done anyway; Valentine used an electrum wire whip, the same one he used on Jonathan. I would have needed a healing rune in minutes to make dent in the scars."

"Still…" said Jocelyn, and she looked closer. The flesh was torn and reformed under the extreme heat of the whip and the skin had turned bruised blue and purple with ugly red welts. "I could have brought cold water, disinfectant, bandages."

"You were busy," said Jace with a hard look at her. "Weren't you?"

Jocelyn knew what Jace was thinking, but Jace had hardly expected her to slouch, covering her face in her hands. He was even more surprised when she took a long, shuddering breath and released a dry, lonely sob. For all his wit and sarcasm, Jace rarely meant to make women cry, and he had thought Jocelyn would have been made of sterner stuff.

Either I'm becoming more and more like Valentine every day, or something really bad happened, Jace thought, watching Jocelyn closely.

"I wasn't busy," she finally said, lifting her face. Jace was relieved to see that her eyes were dry and her face the same rosy complexion she usually had. "It has become…difficult to keep Valentine happy."

"How do you mean?"

Jocelyn turned away. "I shouldn't burden you anymore, Jace."

"Well, what else am I here for then?" asked Jace shrewdly.

Jocelyn looked like she was in pain. "It's a delicate balance, having to constantly reassure him that I love him and then protect you and Clary at the same time. If I am given the choice between protecting you and protecting her, it's a difficult choice, and if he makes me choose between you two and him, how do I move?" Jocelyn seemed frantic now. "He's constantly watching me, constantly looking to see if I'm happy, and I know he thinks I'm in love with Luke…"

"Luke?" said Jace sharply. "What has Luke got to do with it?"

"What?" she looked distracted. "Valentine keeps him locked up, and he thinks I was in love with him, and now he's wondering if I'm thinking about Luke, and the Angel knows I am…" She turned away and Jace raised an eyebrow.

In Valentine's bed but in love with another man? Jace wondered. That's brave.

"I have to continually let him know I love him, make sure he knows I love him, am attracted to him, and I don't know what to do, I'm terrified I'm pregnant and-" Jocelyn's horror registered on her face and she whipped around.

"You're pregnant?" Jace demanded, struggling to sit up and looking terrified. "How could you let that happen!"

"Be quiet!" Jocelyn ordered, hurrying over to him and clamping her hand over his mouth. "I'm not sure."

Jace tried to pry her hand off. "How could do that?"

"I didn't mean for it to happen!" Jocelyn snarled, and she pressed her hand firmly against his mouth, and her eyes turned sharp. "You cannot tell anyone, Jace. I'm not sure yet if I am, and I'm doing everything in my power to stop it, but…what can I do? Valentine won't let me do anything about it, and if I get pregnant, he'll just be pleased the family is growing."

Jace tried to speak, but she was pushing harder on his mouth and he couldn't get a word in edge wise. What is Clary going to say?

"If I tell him I don't want a family, he'll blame Clary and punish her. I can't say no, but how can I bring a child into this?" She trembled and she dropped her face. "I can't do anything. I try and try and try to keep this family together, but it's a moment away from collapse."

"If you're pregnant, Valentine will get rid of Clary, you know he will," said Jace blankly. "He'll replace her with your new child. He might even kill her."

"You think I don't know that?" Jocelyn snapped. "You think I don't' worry about it every moment of every day. She's my daughter, my only daughter, and I love her with all my heart, and if I am…If I'm pregnant he'll do something-something terrible. He won't need her anymore and he'll be able to control me with the baby. It's all such a mess…"

Jace watched her shaking and felt a bit of the anger leak out of him. "Are you pregnant for sure?"

"No, I don't know," she said lifelessly, "but I'm terrified it will happen soon."

Jace sat up and glanced over her. Jocelyn looked completely, utterly lost. She was hunched over, face pale, and eyes glassy. "Is there anything Clary or I can do?"

"No," she said emptily. "No, there's nothing. Just try and keep yourself out of trouble."

Jace felt his back twinge and he smiled humorlessly. "It seems that trouble finds me."

Jocelyn cupped Jace's face and kissed his cheek gently, sadly, like he were her own son. "You can't tell a soul about this, Jace. Promise me on the Angel you won't tell anyone."

Jace bit his lip, but Jocelyn wasn't letting him go and, anyway, she looked so desperate as it was that he didn't have it in him to say otherwise. "I won't tell anyone, on the Angel."

"Good," sighed Jocelyn, recovering herself slowly. After a moment, she shook her hair and carefully began examining Jace. "Let's take a look at this back and see if there's not something more I can do. I hate seeing you in pain."

Jace looked down at himself and felt the first stirrings of worry waking up. He needed to find Clary fast, and he needed to prove to Valentine she was worth more than a means to keep Jocelyn in line.