Chapter 12
As the black SUV pulled into the Portland Maine Marriot Spencer felt his breath catch in his throat. He knew that as soon as he got the chance Morgan was going to try and talk to him about the recent events that had occurred between the two of them. Spencer didn't think that he was quite ready yet to have that talk with Derek. Everything was so new right now that the mere thought of actually thinking about it was terrifying.
"I called ahead and they already have our room ready." Spencer looked up sharply. Had he just heard the older man correctly, they were sharing a room. Spencer wasn't sure that he couldn't handle that level of closeness right now.
"are we sharing a room?" Reid managed to squeak out. His voice several octaves higher than it normally was. Shaking his head, Morgan spoke again.
"nope. Hotch said that the BAU booked us a suite or something like that. He said that because we might be here for a while that we should have good accommodations. I think there is two rooms with a shared bathroom and kitchenette. And don't worry, there probably is a functioning coffee maker." Derek smiled, the idea of Spencer Reid going a single morning without at least three steaming cups of hot coffee with liberal amounts of sugar was an impossibility and highly improbable. Glancing over Derek noticed that the younger man hadn't even cracked a grin; usually Morgan's jibes about Spencer's steady diet of caffeine humored the younger man. However today Morgan noticed that the skin around the young doctors eyes a taught and it looked as if he hadn't received a good night sleep in a long while. All morgan wanted to do was reach out and take hold of the younger man's hand, he couldn't stand watching Reid suffer. Turning around so that he was looking the younger man directly in the eyes Morgan started to speak, stopping when Spencer cut him off.
"Listen. I don't know what you want." Spencer's voice was shaking and uncertain. "I don't know what you feel, but I know how I feel. I don't want to be used." The man's voice was surprisingly harsh, but Reid new that he couldn't stand getting hurt by the man he loved. Getting hurt by people he hadn't cared about strongly had been extremely difficult. Spencer could only imagine what it would be like being hurt by someone you loved. Spencer paused taking a deep breath. Derek used this pause to breathe to make his feelings known.
"pretty boy…" Derek steadied himself and reached over to grab the younger man's hand. "I would never hurt you, or let anyone else hurt you. I'm not sure exactly what I'm trying to say, but I want you to know that I have strong feelings for you. I have nothing to base what I'm feeling of off, but I think I might be in love with you." Morgan felt his fingers clench around the bony fingers of Spencer's hand, he heard the sharp intake of breath from the other side of the car. All the things that he could say to the older man ran through Spencer's head. But all that came out was; "I love you too Derek."