Dirty Little Secret

Chapter 8

After hearing Sanji's story I realized just how little I really know about him. I had thought he was just a crazy womanizer who lived and breathed for the ladies while thinking of little else. In reality he puts up a façade, pretending to love women all the while hiding away who he truly is: keeping his sorrows and depression deep inside himself, the experience of his first love and the loss of it.

He's been tormented by it all this time and none of us have noticed or bothered to get to know him enough to find it out. Thinking back I can recall times I've seen a vacant look upon his face when he's washing dishes or doing menial tasks when he's separated from the rest of the crew, almost like he makes himself fade into the shadows, slip into the cracks in the wall. It should have been obvious, I should have tried to get to know the real him instead of just bickering with him all the time.

"Sanji, I'm sorry to hear something like that happened to you. But we won't abandon you, or think any differently of you. We are your nakama, your family. You are safe with us." I lean in and pull him close to me, unable to let him cry alone like he is for any longer.

He tries to weakly push me away but I just hold on to him tighter. "Don't push me away Sanji, let me be here for you."

I tilt Sanji's face up so he's looking at me, "I did you see you the other night; at first I was angry with you. I couldn't stop thinking about what I saw; I didn't understand why I couldn't. But once I stopped being angry Robin helped me figure out that I have feelings for you. I couldn't stop thinking about seeing you that way because I wanted to see more."

Sanji's wide eyed and staring at me with a disbelieving look on his face. "But everyone just ignored me these last few days, I'm not right being this way, if it's enough to make people want to kill me for being this way then it must be wrong."

A flash of guilt washes over me as I gently pull him back to rest his head against my shoulder, "We were all worried about you these last few days, we just thought you wanted space. If we had any idea what you were going through we would have tried to talk to you much sooner."

I angle his face back up to mine and swipe away a tear with my thumb. I quietly whisper, "I can see you're afraid, and you have a good reason, but I won't let you stop me from loving you Sanji." His eyes go slightly wider as I lean in and kiss him softly on the lips.

At first he's just frozen in place, after a moment longer he tries to push me away but I don't let him. If he doesn't accept himself for who he is or understands he can love and not have to feel wrong then he will only continue to walk down this same dark path of loneliness and isolation. I thread my fingers through the hair at the back of his head messaging his scalp trying to get him to relax. It works better then expected as he instantly stops trying to push me away and I feel him relax into my arms.

We are both pulled out of the moment by a delicate cough. Snapping our heads to attention we see Robin smirking at us from the door way.

Sanji starts flailing a bit trying harder to wrench himself free, this time I let him. "Sorry Robin, kind of forgot you were here", I laugh but am cut off almost immediately but a foot to the face.

"Shitty swordsman! How could you subject a delicate lady to that display?" Sanji screeches in my ear as he grinds his foot further into my face.

Robin Chuckles, "Well I'm glad things seem to like they are getting worked out. Sanji I too am sorry about Sparrow but know now that we all love you and will accept you for whoever you are. One last piece of advice, love never comes easy; love will always in turn hold sorrow at some point. But love is such a great thing that it's impossible to never fall in it, and a true shame to not allow yourself to." She gives a small wave as she leaves, door closing with a light thud.

Sanji finally removes his foot from my face, I watch as he sways slightly bending at the hip to pick up the left over wine bottles. "I need some time to think about all of this. Just act like normal for now. Also, I'll wash this and bring it back to you." He waves my bandana as he also starts to leave the room. Once he's at the door he stops and turns back to me, "Thanks Zoro."

To be continued

A/N: Hello! sorry for the delay I'm kinda loosing steam with this story but fear not (or do?) next chapter will be the last one and it should be deliciously smutty! See ya soon!

Ps I have a new story in the works already! :D