Loralei was surprised when she made it home before her family, so she just went back to her room to changed her clothes which were slightly damp from when she and Fab were caught in the rain on their way back to his apartment so she could floo home. She always felt better after hanging out with him. Why did it take her this long to owl him? At least now she wouldn't hesitate to do it again.

Halfway through Loralei putting on a T-shirt, there was a knock on the door, making Loralei's blood run cold. No one came to their house usually, and before she knew it she was thrusted into one of her premonitions.

Sirius lying on the front steps, blood dripping from his nose and a cut above his right eyebrow, his eyes closed and his skin pale. He looked broken, and she could tell that at least his arm was broken, if not a few ribs by how shallowly he was breathing.

She snapped herself out of it, and ran down the stairs, before looking out the window to see exactly what she saw in her premonition.

She let out a breath before running to the door and yanking it open.

"Ellie!" She yelled for one of her house elves, who appeared at her side in an instant.

"Yes, Miss?" She asked.

"Sirius' room, on the second floor, can you take him there?" Loralei asked, the panic in her voice disappearing as she tried to remember what she had learned about healing from her mother.

"Yes, miss." A startling crack and they were gone.

Loralei ran back inside, and went to the kitchen, where they kept medical things in a cupboard, grabbing whatever she could before running back up the stairs.

Loralei was running on autopilot, her brain doing all the work while her emotions were still running wild, and not in the way she liked with him any more. Nothing but concern and fear went through her. What happened to him? What did this to him? How did he get here? Did he pass out right after he banged on the door? How long until her parents got home? What was James going to say? What happened if he was so hurt he died? What if he woke up before her family got home? Because, goddamnit she still loved him, even if she tried to convince herself she didn't.

She did what she knew she could. She cleaned his cuts, and checked to see if his bones were broken, she could tell that there were two ribs, collarbone, and arm all broken. She sent word to get her family home.

Loralei went into a trance when her mother came into the room, and healed Sirius. Her eyes were large and unseeing, she had her knees to her chest, sitting on the floor in the corner of the room.

When Sirius moaned in pain, she jumped up and yelled. "Don't hurt him!" But before she could seperate her mother from Sirius, James dragged her out of the room.

"What's your problem?" He asked her. "She's helping him."

"Y-you didn't see him." She told him. "He's broken...he's broken."

James groaned. "I'm sorry about this, Lore."

She turned her large eyes on him. "Hu-" but she was cut off by a sharp slap on her left cheek. Her hand flew to her cheek, and she shook her head. "I'm going insane."

"A little bit." He told her. "Are you okay? Do you want anything?"

She stayed still a moment, a blank look on her face. "I'm alright, I think I'll just lay down for a bit."

"Okay," James said. This was the longest conversation they had had in over a week.

She started to turn around, but he stopped her.

"Are you ever going to forgive me?" He asked.

She smiled sadly at him. "I already have." She turned away from him, and walked to the back staircase.

"Then why won't you talk to me anymore?" He called after her as she quickly climbed the stairs with jerky movements.

Loralei was in her room, looking over herself in the mirror. She was wearing light blue jeans with a strapless purple top. Fab had invited her back today since he was only planning on sleeping in anyway.

There was a soft knock on her bedroom door, and James peered his head in.

"What?" She asked softly, running a finger around her gloss-covered lips to make sure none ran.

"Sirius really wants to see you." He told her.

She blew out a breath between her teeth. "Fine, it'll only be a second though, I'm meeting Fab soon."

"Are you back together with him?" James asked, leaning against the doorway.

"No, we're just old friends." She told him, running her fingers through her hair again.

"That you used to have your lipgloss all over his mouth." James said.

"People can move from that. Grow up James, he knows me, and it's good to have someone that doesn't know Sirius around."

"He knows Sirius, he threatened him when you were dating." James said nonchalantly.

"What?"

"When Sirius was hitting on you."

"Sirius was hitting on me?"

"Asking you out to Hogsmeade?" He said.

"What?"

"You really thought that we all were going?" James asked. "I didn't find out until later from peter, but still."

"He had every right to." Loralei said emotionlessly, walking towards her brother, before standing in front of him. "Now, I'm going to give Sirius five minutes, are you going to cut into his time any more?"

James stepped aside to let his sister through.

Loralei went to Sirius' room, taking slow breaths as she gilded swiftly and quickly there, before opening the door without so much as a knock announcing her presence.

"I could've been changin-hi." He said when he looked up to see her, before sitting up, and wincing.

He was shirtless, so she could see the dark bruising on his torso from the broken bones, she didn't let any pity or compassion enter her voice though. "You shouldn't do that, you're still healing." She told him in a monotone. "Your ribs are still bruised."

"I don't care."

"You never do, but maybe you should think about someone else for once in your life." She said, her voice getting hard before she shook her head and returned it to a soft tone. "Never mind."

"Talk to me Loralei, did you even get any of my letters?" He asked. "You've avoided me long enough."

"I got all of them." She said softly. "Doesn't mean I opened them."

"Will you please yell at me or something?" He asked. "I'm sick of you not talking to me!"
"What do you want me to say?" She asked tiredly.

"I want you to tell me how stupid I am, tell me how bad I screwed up. Just talk to me." He begged.

"I have nothing to say." She told him. "I don't understand."

He lurched out of the bed to stand, hunched before her, trying to get closer to her, but she took a step back.

"You should lay down."

"I don't want to lay down, Loralei." He told her desperately. "I want you to talk to me."

"All right." She told him, in the same cool tone.

"So?"

"You're an idiot." She informed him. "You cheated on me, and I didn't do a damn thing about it. It's over now. It's all over."

"Don't say that, Loralei."

"You expect me to not picture you touching her when you touch me?" She asked, dodging him when he tried to reach for her.

"Let me change that." He begged. "I love you."

She looked incredulously at the ceiling. "And do you want to know the saddest part? I love you too." She looked back at him and shook her head. "And I hate it, Sirius Black. I hate that I love you, and I can't stop that I do. Trust me, I've tried."

"Give me another chance." He begged. "I'll never hurt you again. All I want is you."

"I'm not your type." She told him. "You want someone that needs you, I don't need you, I never did. Now if you don't mind, I have plans today. Lay back down, and heal up, because you're going to need it."

"I got these because of you." He told her.

"Oh, really?" She said, brightening sarcastically. "You broke your ribs, and your collarbone, and your wrist because of me? Take me now, I forgive you! Kiss me! Touch me! Love me!" She rolled her eyes, her voice turning hard. "No."

"Because we broke up, my family got on my back for it, and I ran away. You always said I was welcome here." He told her.

"I don't take that back, but don't you dare blame this on me. It has nothing to do with me." She told him, her voice dangerously low.

"I never said it was! I know it's my own fucking fault!" He yelled. "I'm the one that started it! I'm the one that hurt you!"

"Don't you dare yell at me." She replied. "You have no right to yell."

He quieted down. "You're right, I'm sorry."

She lifted her chin a bit, looking at him with a frown on her lips. "As you should be."

He took a slow, deep breath. "Please forgive me."

"I forgive you, I just won't forget. I don't date cheaters. Once a cheater, always a cheater."

"I thought we'd broken up! That's the only reason I did it!" His voice was pleading, but it was being ignored by Loralei, who was in no mood to listen.

"How am I supposed to know you're not lying?"

"Your father's pensive, I'll prove it with a memory."

She raised two fingers in the air. "One: memories can be changed. Two: do you really think I want to see it again?"

He paused. "You're right, of course you're right, that's why you're going to get all OWL's. What can I do to prove it to you?"

"You can't." She told him. "We're at an impasse, this is where we go our separate ways."

"I don't want to separate from you." He whispered, looking her heartbrokenly in the eyes.

"And I can't be your friend right now, let alone your girlfriend, or anything else." She sighed. "I can't right now."

"Why?"

"I just can't. Let me go, Sirius, it's the best thing for both of us right now." She took the three steps to the door quickly, and opened it.

"Loralei-" The door closed, but he still went on. "-I love you."

He sat on the bed, ignoring the pain in his ribs, shoulder, and wrist, and put his head in his hands. He lost her, with the, "I hate that I love you," still going through his head.

Maybe he still had some hope. She loved him, even though she hated that she did, she admitted to it. He just needed to build up her trust again.

But how long would that take?

A/N So I finally used the title in the story! I've been waiting for this moment since I first started writing this story. Just a warning, but the next chapter's going to be short, and just how Loralei and Sirius feel. I know where I want to story to go, and let me tell you it's going to take a while to write the whole thing. When I first started writing this, I was hoping for a twenty chapter thing, but since that will be the next chapter, I highly doubt it. I don't know how many of you are taking the time to read my A/N's but if you are, thank you for listening to my ramblings!

Please review!

Kat