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IN
Backstage, after the show ended, May approached Leon.
"Don't lose focus in the middle of productions," he scolded her before she could talk, "I will not hesitate to cut your time."
The few performers that were still backstage paused to look at them. They had been around for Saiyuki; they knew that he meant what he said.
May knew as well.
His eyes looked even more unnerving today; she couldn't fathom why such a minor slip of concentration had him in a mood. She involuntarily swallowed, but then schooled herself. She was a professional after all.
"It won't happen again." Straightening her spine, she spoke, "Please allow me to apologize for the mistake with dinner."
He looked at her with a raised brow.
"That won't be necessary."
Steeling her nerves, she bowed her head a little. "I realize that it was foolish of me to have been unfocused; I only mean to show my sincerity when I said that it won't occur another time."
He was quiet for a long stretch of time. Then, he turned around and gave a silent sigh to himself.
"Do what you want."
IN
Leon walked the long hallway back to his dressing room.
His face was brooding as he attempted to calm himself down. He was a figure of control and balance, skill, poise, and above all, stoic.
Things did not faze him.
There were no weakness to exploit, no soft spot that was left open for the vindictive performer to tease out and stab a knife into. He had learned to thicken his skin so words did not penetrate. Later, he was taught rather ruthlessly that there was no room for compassion within competitive fields.
If there was a way to cheat, the common man would take it.
Tricks and lies, manipulation and jealousy were old tools of humankind.
Emotions hinder more than help. It was not necessarily a statement he came up with or wanted to live by, but more of a truth he had found to hold weight. If it didn't, he would allow himself the weakness of showing emotions. He'd welcome the warmth that came from laughter or the delight that grew from having interactions with a certain performer.
He'd touch her soft hair again just to see her eyes look up at him from beneath wild bangs.
Leon paused in his stride as his thoughts changed direction. With a slight widening of the eyes, he registered the lingering vanilla in the hallway. He let out a long breath and then blanked his face again.
Distractions.
That's what emotions were.
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AN: Feelings getting all mixed up. What fun!