Hey, and guess what? I MADE THIS CHAPTER LONGER THAN USUAL! WHOOP!

I guess it's not THAT much longer, but hey. At least I was dillegent. ^_^

Another gay baby was born.

Poor Sasuke.

He was alone with Kisame in his room. But what made it so awkward…

"Kisame," Sasuke said.

The blue man looked up. "What is it, Itachi?"

"Um," he said awkwardly. "Why is everyone in the Akatsuki…" He held up his hand, "required to have purple nails?"

Kisame blinked at him. "Well, I'd think that you'd be used to it by now," he stated before looking back down at his own nails.

"It makes me feel gay," Sasuke said, looking down at his ruined fingertips.

Kisame raised his eyebrow at the incognito Sasuke. "Why does it bother you so much all of a sudden? I mean, you've never said anything about it until today." Kisame brushed a shiny coat of purple over the index finger of his right hand and muttered, "I swear, something is wrong with you lately. Ever since we found you in Suna—"

"Wait, what about Suna?" Sasuke interrupted.

"Oh, no one told you?" Kisame looked slightly cross. "I WAS going to tell you a few days ago, but instead I ended up with a bloody nose."

Sasuke smirked. "Yeah, I don't know what came over me," he said casually as he sloppily coated his nails in dark purple.

Kisame watched him do this. "Dude, and now you can't even paint them? I'd think that after all these years…"

Sasuke looked up. "Um… I'm… having a hangover?"

There was another awkward silence.

"Nuh-uh," Kisame finally stated. "I swear, you have like, multiple personalities. Like I said, ever since we found you in Suna, you have been so f*ckin' weird."

Augh, stupid! Stupid! Stupid! He felt like banging his head against the wall.

Kisame looked up. "Yeah, you know our last mission we were assigned?"

Sasuke nodded his head, not quite sure.

"Well, you were over there being a slowpoke, so I was just waiting for you, then there was this huge crash. So I ran upstairs with Deidara and Hidan, and… well, your window was like, broken, and you were gone." Kisame screwed the nail polish lid on. "After getting a new window, we went to find you."

"And getting a new window is the first priority here?" Sasuke raised his eyebrow.

"Well…" Kisame trailed off. "Um, anyways… yeah, like, the next day we found you by the entrance of Suna. And dude, you looked pretty terrible. We still have no idea what happened… but I'm guessing that you don't, considering how hard you must have hit your head. I mean, look at you, man! You are just so… different!"

Sasuke shrugged. "So?"

Kisame was going insane. "SEE? That is just NOT you! And… I mean, you don't even tie your hair back anymore. Everything is different!"

The Uchiha combed his newly painted fingers through his long hair. "I don't know, I just think it looks better down, lately."

Kisame cocked his head to the side and uttered four words. "Son of a bitch."

And, I guess you could see why this would affect Sasuke so much.

The young man stood up, rage filling his eyes as he looked down at his brother's teammate. "Don't you EVER say that to me again!" Before picking up a lamp off the dresser.

"Dude! What is it with you and trying to kill me with LAMPS!" Kisame shrieked as Sasuke tackled him onto the wood-paneled floor and hit him rather vigorously on the head. His eyes seemed to have fire in them.

"You. Are. Such. A. F*cking. Whore." Every word had its own hit to poor, innocent Kisame's spiky blue head.

The shark looked around (as much as he was limited) desparately, looking for something to defend himself (Itachi was much stronger than Kisame thought!). Itachi was beginning to draw BLOOD! Lucky for him, he saw his awesome shark-skin sword, wresting in the corner by his closet, barely out of reach. As he extended his hand toward it, his fingertips brushed the handle, and he was beginning to feel rather giddy, although he was still getting beaten to a bloody pulp by his partner.

Yes! His hand was now wrapped around his sword—

But too bad the two of them were behind the door. Especially unfortunate for Kisame.

Because right then, the door precariously swung open.

And there stood Kakuzu.

"Itachi, leader-sama wishes to speak to you," he said looking at the two behind the door. It didn't seem to phase him at all.

Sasuke gave one last blow to Kisame's head before DROPPING the lamp on it again. Then he stood up, and walked outside the room. Kakuzu slammed the door, leaving poor Kisame alone, lying on the ground, to wallow in his own misery.

Well, at least the sword didn't land on him after that.

Whoops! Too late… D:

"Sasuke-kun."

Itachi looked up at the ugly voice, saying his name in a wannabe sexy way. This could only mean one thing.

Orochimaru.

His stalker was leaning against the wall of the dojo, and he had somehow entered without Itachi noticing. Wow, this was going to be ugly.

Itachi backed away as Orochimaru moved forward, shutting the door of the dojo. It was so dark, except for the occasional candles here and there.

"Sasuke-kun, you're not going anywhere."

A large snake shot out of his throat and wrapped itself around the Uchiha's body, binding him tightly (disgusting!). This made him lose his balance, and he fell right on his rear end. He couldn't seem to get back on his feet, so he proceeded to scoot away as fast as he could, hoping that Orochimaru wouldn't do something too… ewh.

This was terrible. Orochimaru was seducing his LITTLE BROTHER! Was this the first time it's happened! How many times had Sasuke been seduced like this!

No, he couldn't let Orochimaru do this to him. He HAD to do something. Just PLEASE don't let him rape his BABY BROTHER.

"Do NOT come NEAR me!" Itachi shouted. "Fire Style: Fireball Jutsu!"

Nothing happened. Orochimary laughed merrily.

"With that snake wrapped around you, there's no way ANY defense jutsu would work. It's pointless to get away, Sasuke."

Itachi panted as the snake coiled up even tighter, nearly suffocating him. Blood rushed to his head. He still scooted away as Orochimaru neared…

Until he hit against the corner of a wall.

Oh, shit.

That was the only thought that ran through Itachi's mind as Orochimaru cornered him, bending down to stroke the face of his younger brother.

I have to do something! Fast!

With his lighting fast reflexes, the Uchiha banged his head against the freaky pedophile, making him stand back up straight. As he rubbed his head, screaming "OUCH!" (he had headbanged him pretty hard.), Itachi pushed his back against the wall, the force causing him to stand as well. Then, he KICKED Orochimaru RIGHT IN THE BALLS. Hard. So hard, in fact, that he went flying across the room, breaking through the wall. As Orochimaru was groping his balls in shock and pain, Itachi ran through the break in the wall, jumped on Orochimaru's groin a couple times for good measure, and ran as fast as he could without losing balance, as the snake was still wrapped tightly around him.

But he didn't just run to Sasuke's room like last time.

Itachi ran like FOREST GUMP.

He had made his way outside, and was furiously running through the woods at lightning speed. He was not going to stop for anything, until he was on the other side of the world. He didn't care if the snake was cutting off his circulation and oxygen at the same time. He would get out of there as soon as possible, just to protect Sasuke from the rapist.

And he WASN'T going back.

As he ran, he yelled to the skies, "Aname! Aname, where are you!"

There was a silence, which only his quickly-moving feet broke. Until he felt something on his right shoulder. Aname had showed up.

"Itachi!"

Itachi couldn't look up at her, as he was concentrating both on balance and not running into the trees. "Well, what do you have to say about WHAT JUST HAPPENED!"

"I-I don't know!"

"Yes you do! Explain!"
"No, I really don't! Okay, that was just as shocking to me as it was to you! But Itachi," her voice grew quiet and soft, "you're doing the right thing. Sort of."

"What do you mean, 'sort of'?" the shinobi asked.

"You're protecting your brother, of course, but that's all you're thinking about. I mean, you need to actually SEE things through HIS eyes. Not your own. That's why I switched you guys. I mean, I want you to see what his life is like, and I also want you to make sure you protect him and all, but… do you think Sasuke would just run away like this? The thing is, he WANTS to stay. Even though Orochimaru is a freaky whore."

Itachi abruptly stopped, nearly causing the redhead to fall off his shoulder. He looked up at her. "Look, Aname." He looked rather sorrowful. "I'm just… I've never been more worried about Sasuke in my life. I guess I had an idea, but… this is my BROTHER we're talking about. Do you really expect me to just stay there and let him get…" he shuddered, "you know."

"Itachi," Aname said gently, brushing his cheek with her hand (which felt much better than Orochimaru doing it). "You ARE Sasuke, now. That's the point. I mean, this is the best way to get to know your brother. That's what I want to see. You actually TRYING to get to know him."

Itachi sighed and leaned against a nearby tree, weary. "I knew him very well once," he recalled. "I want him to be powerful and strong enough to kill me and avenge our clan. It's just so difficult to see how much he's changed. And what he has to live with. I just can't help but wonder what he feels like all the time." He looked up at Aname. "I wanted to give him a motivation to work hard, since I couldn't bring myself to kill him. But I never thought that he would join forces with that…" he looked back in the direction he was running, "THING."

Aname was now running her fingers through his hair. "You must have gone through a lot. But, in reality, you're a HERO. Nobody knows it, but it's true. Even though you've had to suffer so much emotional pain, look at what you've done in a good way. Be proud for rescuing the village and brother you so love."

Konoha.

Aname spoke again. "Some people have it so much easier than others, and it's not fair. They're… spoiled brats. They look past what they have, and take it for granted. Itachi,"

He looked up at her. "You have so much, but you just don't know it. Sure, you've lost a lot, but you've also gained a lot. Maybe it's all not what you wanted, but you should still be grateful for what you have and who you are. And do your best to only look back at the good memories. I know it's hard, but… I just want you to be happy. That's all."

The Uchiha's eyes widened as she said this. Aname broke his gaze and looked away into the clouds for a few moments before turning back to him. "Itachi, it's time for you to go back to Orochimaru's lair."

Itachi sighed, barely realizing how much of a relief it was to be away from that hell. But he decided he had better listen if he wanted to get something out of all this. But first…

"Aname, before you leave… um, thanks." Aname looked back down at him

Then, even though he was in his brothers' body, he leaned up and planted a kiss on her cheek, right below her left eye. Aname's eyes grew wide, and she blinked, shocked.

But Itachi just smiled right back up at her. A real smile, something he hadn't done in so long.

And, to tell the truth, he thought it felt good. Like a large burden was being lifted from his shoulders.

Aname smiled, keeping tears back in her eyes. This was what she wanted to see. Itachi was happier than he had been in a long time.

And THAT was what she wanted the most.

Kisame: Gosh, why do like to hurt me so much!

Me: Look, I have nothing against you, it's just that... you and Itachi are partners. So that makes things more realistic.

Kisame: Suck it.

Me: HEY! At least I'm not gay!

Kisame: I'm not gay! I'm FORCED to have purple nails!

Me: Whatever. Anyways, thanks for reading so far! Trust me, I'll stay dilligent! ^_^