Hey, everyone! I just wanted to apologize about not uploading yesterday. I had a stupid photoshoot to do. But I made this chapter longer, since I just kind of write, ya know. It just happens ^_^ So y'all should be grateful I don't get writers' block. ^-^
So, enjoy this long chapter!
Sasuke walked into Pein's office.
It was dark and solemn, just like Orochimaru's lair. Although he had to admit, that over the past week he had liked the Akatsuki better than being stuck with Orochimaru attempting to rape him.
There was a desk that Pein sat at, staring at Sasuke intently. Then, without turning to look at him, Pein spoke to Kakuzu: "Thank you, Kakuzu. You are dismissed."
Without saying another word, Kakuzu turned and shut the door. Pein was still staring at Sasuke, which was making him feel rather uncomfortable.
So… was this guy like how Orochimaru acted with Sasuke… only with Itachi?
But then he finally spoke. "Now that Kakuzu's gone," he said. In the split second before he finished his sentence, Sasuke expected to get cornered and get… um… intensely kissed (awkward…).
But instead, Pein had said the unexpected. He turned to the pitch dark shadows in the back right corner of the room. "Madara, Itachi has arrived."
Wait… Madara? Madara Uchiha!
Sasuke stared into the shadows in wide-eyed shock as a man stepped out of the darkness. And who was it?
None other than the idiot Tobi.
On Sasuke's third day of his arrival in the Akatsuki, he found himself sitting around the kitchen table with a bunch of the other pretty awesome members, which included: Kisame, Sasori, Deidara, Hidan, Konan, Kakuzu, and Zetsu.
None of them said a word. They all just stared off into space on their own, which lasted about an hour.
It was very boring.
"Well, this is fun," Kisame sarcastically broke the silence.
"F*ckin' NOT," Hidan stated from his own seat next to his best friend Deidara, who was the next to speak.
"What should we do, un?" He questioned the other members.
There was a long, awkward pause as the members pondered.
"I say we watch Pinocchio," Sasori said casually.
"But I'm sick of that movie. You watch it EVERY SINGLE F*CKIN' DAY." Konan exasperatedly sighed.
All the other members, including Sasuke (who had learned this as well over the last couple of days) nodded in frustrated agreement, some of them groaning.
Just about at this point, the door too the kitchen flew open, and there stood an orange-masked shinobi Sasuke had not yet encountered.
"Oh. F*ck." Hidan said at the sight.
Konan slapped her palm to her forehead.
Kisame had the most annoyed expression
"Oh, shit," said Sasori.
Zetsu gulped.
Kakuzu just sat there grumbling something.
Sasuke stared blankly.
And poor Deidara looked like he was about to cry.
There was a long, intense silence as the eight ninja stared back at the one standing in the doorway, looking at each of them through the black hole in his mask.
Then, as suddenly as he had burst into the kitchen, his gaze focused on Deidara.
"DEIDARA-SEMPAI!" He happily screeched. Sasuke winced at his awful voice.
"Oh, shit," Deidara said.
It all happened in slow motion for poor Deidara. Tobi was running quickly over to him, his arms extended as hearts and flowers fell all around him. You could pretty much see him blushing with happiness through his lollipop-like mask.
And then he wrapped his arms around Deidara, hearts popping all over the place. The other members stared in horror as all this happened.
"Tobi is a good boy! TOBI IS A GOOD BOY! Play with Tobi, Deidara-Sempai! Tobi is bored and Tobi is a good boy!"
"Augh! GET THE F*CK OFF OF ME!"
Tobi did not let go.
"Well, that's my cue to leave," Kakuzu said. "Besides, I have sewing to work on." He looked down at his stitched-up wrist before walking out of the kitchen.
"Um, yeah. I haven't watched Pinocchio today, and I'm working on a Sakura puppet."
"Wait, you killed the pink bitch?" Sasuke asked, shocked.
"No, I haven't. But I'm planning to. So I have to… uh, brainstorm." Then the nervous redhead ran out of the kitchen.
"I, uh… forgot to make origami flowers for Pein's uh… labor day?" Konan obviously wasn't working very quickly in the head that day. She stood up and ran out of the kitchen.
"I have a hot date," White Zetsu said.
"With a Venus Flytrap" added Black Zetsu before calmly leaving the room.
"I'm off to pray to Jashin-sama," Hidan casually said before hurriedly rushing out of the kitchen.
"Wait, Hidan! STOP, HIDAN!" Deidara cried out desparately as Tobi kept saying "Tobi loves Deidara-sempai! Tobi is a good boy!"
Before Kisame could make up his own excuse, Sasuke stopped him.
"Hey, Kisame… um, who is that?"
Kisame looked at him as if he were a llama that had just spit in his face. "You don't remember TOBI! Of ALL people, you should remember HIM. I swear, you hit your head… HARD."
Sasuke raised an eyebrow, not quite following the shark-resembling man. "Uh, yeah sure. Whatever."
Kisame awkwardly stood up. "I'm going to take a swim. Bye!" Then he ran outside.
That left three shinobi alone in the kitchen: Deidara, Tobi, and Sasuke, disguised as his brother.
"Awh, F*CK MY LIFE!" Deidara yelled in Sasuke's direction. "DO something, Itachi!"
At the mention of Itachi's name, Tobi looked up and stared straight at Sasuke.
Oh, shit.
"Itachi-san! You're alive!"
"Wait, what? No shit, idiot!"
But that didn't stop Tobi from exitedly rushing over and ruffling his untied hair.
"HEY!" Sasuke yelled before falling off his chair and hitting his head on the tile floor.
"Oh, f*ck."
Deidara couldn't help but smile. "Well, Itachi, I'm going to go and make my next claymation in my YouTube series. You know, you can't keep fans all over the world waiting for long. Have fun!"
Then Sasuke was alone with Tobi.
We'll tell the rest after this short time period back in reality! :D
"You? What the hell is HE doing here?" Sasuke frantically asked Pein, motioning to the masked man. "And WHY did you just call him Madara?"
"Itachi, I understand that you had quite a… flight. And you hit your head pretty hard," the masked man said calmly. "So let me explain something to you."
He paused, staring at Sasuke, who could now see his one Sharingan eye. "Go on," he said impatiently.
"Itachi, you, Konan, Pein, and Nagato are the only ones that know I'm THE Madara Uchiha, founder and owner of the Akatsuki. The Akatsuki only has one goal— create world peace.
Sasuke let loose a chuckle. He got a death glare from the other two shinobi in the room. So he silenced himself before Madara continued.
"I'm the one that everyone thought was long past dead, but in truth, I am the one that helped you kill off the rest of our clan. Then, because of your slaughtering your best friend and family, you obtained the Mangekyou Sharingan. And you are staying alive on medication."
"The Mangekyou Sharingan," Sasuke was saying to himself. "One can obtain the Mangekyou Sharingan by killing one close to them. Everyone's Mangekyou is different, just like human fingerprints, each unique in its own way. Also, it slowly deteriorates your vision until you become blind and can see no more. It is a very dangerous hekkei-genkai to possess, and slowly brings you to death as each day passes. Although it happens gradually and can live for a few years, unless on special medication." Wow, he knew more about the Mangekyou Sharingan than he thought.
"Um, Itachi. We KNOW about the Mangekyou Sharingan. But thank you for the oral report, I guess," Madara said from his corner.
"I have one question, Madara," Sasuke said bitterly. "If you knew that I knew that you were Madara, why were you bothering me in the kitchen that one day?"
Madara suddenly giggled before guiltily scratching his head. "Sorry, I was just having a lot of fun," he said happily.
Back to Sasuke's flashback…
"No, stay away," Sasuke said, now standing in an upright position. It was too late. He had been deserted by all his fellow Akatsuki members (well, they were technically Itachi's fellow Akatsuki members, but they thought he was still Itachi, so whatever).
Sasuke growled, thinking about what an asshole Deidara was when Tobi playfully pounced on him. He was hugging his neck and had his legs wrapped around the Uchiha's body, clinging onto the right side of him. Sasuke struggled to stay standing.
"Play with me, Itachi! Tobi is a good boy! And Tobi LOVES Itachi-san!"
"Get off me, bitch!" Sasuke yelled, attempting to push Tobi off of him.
"Tobi is a good boy, not a bitch… whatever that means!" Now hearts were popping all over Sasuke, who was grief-stricken over the whole situation. Too bad Itachi's weapons were so cruelly taken away from him.
Holy cow, Tobi was now climbing up him like a monkey, He was now sitting on the Uchiha's shoulders and hugging his head, covering his eyes as well.
"Tobi is bored, Itachi! Tobi wants to make ramen!" (Whoa, I just had déjà vu! Okay, sorry. Back to the story…)
Oh, shit. This was going to be ugly.
So Sasuke was forced to stay in the kitchen while Tobi merrily made brownies. It was as if this Tobi dude had eyes in the back of his head, because whenever Sasuke tried to stand up from the kitchen table to sneak away, Tobi would freak out."
"No, Itachi! You can't leave Tobi! Tobi is a good boy!"
"Okay, you've said that a million times! But I don't believe you. You are NOT a good boy, Tobi. You never will be, either."
Tobi turned around with a pan of freshly made brownies in his oven-mitted hands. He obviously hadn't listnened to what Sasuke had said because he said again, for the millionth time…
Must I say it?
"Tobi is a good boy! He made brownies for EVERYONE in the Akatsuki!"
Sasuke had had enough.
He flashed hand signs before angrily saying, "Fire Style: Fireball Jutsu!"
And he aimed his jutsu right at the brownies. Which had taken Tobi hours to make, since he was just an idiot. Tobi looked down at his brownies (which was now just a pile of ashes sitting in a blackened pan), but Sasuke had no idea what he was thinking, considering he had a mask covering his whole face.
"Oh, oops," Sasuke said in a fake, robotic voice. "I meant to aim that somewhere else. Well, I guess I have to go… now."
Sasuke turned his back on Tobi, smirk on his face as he walked towards the door. Now Tobi would never want to "play with him" again.
But, oh was he wrong.
For Tobi jumped on his back, hitting him unexpectedly on the tile floor, face first.
"Oww…" Sasuke groaned.
"That was fun! Let's make more! Tobi is a—"
"Stupid, idiotic, clueless, creepy, whorish, psycho—"
Sasuke could go on all day with the insults, but then the door to the kitchen opened, and Konan stood there, looking down at the two men sprawled on the floor (yeah, that sounds wrong…). Itachi's nose was bleeding like crazy. She had to do something, and fast.
Konan cleared her throat. "Um, Itachi. Pein would uh…like to see you in his office. As soon as possible."
Tobi leapt off of Sasuke, who got up slowly, huffing and puffing angrily. He turned to look at a happy Tobi, waving at him as Konan hurriedly pulled him out the door. "Bye, Itachi! Tobi hopes he can play with Itachi again! Itachi is fun!"
As soon as the kitchen door shut, the two broke into an unbelievably fast run until they got to the hall with Itachi's Konan abruptly stopped and turned to face Sasuke.
"Are you alright? You were there for EVER. I felt so bad!"
"Um, yeah. As you can see by my bleeding nose, I am just DANDY!" He said, his right eye twitching like crazy.
"I won't leave you alone with him again, I swear. But you can't blame Deidara for leaving like that. I mean, he ALWAYS has to deal with Tobi, since they're partners, and all."
"Oh, gosh. Well, thanks to EVERYONE, who just LEFT me in there for like, what… five hours? Thanks for leaving me in there forever, Konan. Even though you could have come sooner, and all. But whatever, right?"
And then he stormed into his room, slamming the door in the young woman's face. She sighed. Itachi was just so… different.
He must've just had brain damage, or something.
Sasuke angrily shook his head.
"Anyways," continued Madara, "I have received word on Sasuke."
Sasuke's interest was immediately caught. "Okay," he said eagerly.
The older Uchiha cleared his throat. "I had sent Sasori on a mission to find where Sasuke was. Turns out he saw him running as fast as he could in the south direction. Meaning that he's coming for you. So I want you to be on your guard. He could jump up at any second, now."
Sasuke nodded, wondering what the hell Itachi was up to. Well, he was probably just running away from Orochimaru the creep. Although he wouldn't blame anyone for hating Orochimaru, he smirked, knowing exactly what his brother was going through.
Hell.
And yes, Itachi WAS going through hell.
Yes, he had the majority of his life gone through hell, but it was just starting all over again.
As he flopped over onto his brother's bed, he wondered why the hell he had listened to f*ckin' Aname and gone back.
But he couldn't walk for weeks, according to Kabuto, who had healed him… *awkward*
Although Itachi had no doubts that Kabuto had enjoyed healing this particular… um, thing.
Itachi was silently walking back to Orochimaru's hideout. He had run much farther than he thought, and it was starting to get dark.
"So Aname," Itachi looked up at the girl perched on his shoulder, breaking the silence between them. "Is Orochimaru okay…?"
Aname looked down at the pitiful Uchiha, who obviously hoped that he had killed Orochimaru. "He will be eventually. Right now it just looks like he was on a heavy-duty period.
"AUGH!" Itachi yelped, thinking both "how painful!" and "don't talk to me about that feminine crap!"
"I'm sorry, there's just no other way to explain it!" Aname said, looking straight ahead.
Itachi was, once again, scarred for life.
What a drag, Itachi thought. He just stared up at the ceiling, waiting to disappear off the face of the earth (he had very high hopes that it really WOULD happen, though it wasn't at all practical). He felt like hitting his head against the doorframe, but he just calmly laid down on the bed, feeling oh so sorry for himself. He wondered what Sasuke was doing at the moment, and hoped with all his heart that he wouldn't figure out the entire truth about the clan.
F*ck my life.
That was the only thing running through Itachi's head as he mentally stabbed a kunai through his head.
If only, if only.
Suddenly, there was a knock at the door.
"Yes?" Itachi propped himself up on his elbows.
The door opened, and there stood Kabuto.
Oh, shit. Please don't tell me what I don't want to hear…
"Orochimaru wishes to see you," Kabuto said.
And that was the news Itachi didn't want to hear.
"Tell him I'm dead," Itachi said, lying back down on his bed. Dammit, Itachi thought as Kabuto's footsteps grew closer.
The Uchiha grabbed the pillow from underneath him and covered his face with it. "Leave me f*ckin' alone," he said in a voice that can make you feel more pity for someone than you've ever felt before. It was pathetic.
"Sasuke, if you hate Orochimaru so much, then why did you seek his help?" Kabuto asked from the bedside.
Itachi's muffled voice answered: "So I can kill my brother. Duh." Which was very odd to say for him.
Suddenly the pillow was yanked off of his face and thrown across the room by a furious Kabuto. "Get your ass over to Orochimaru!"
The Uchiha's face was pricelessly pitiful as he stared up at Kabuto, who was trying to resist letting him stay behind. He just looked so… adorable!
Kabuto closed his eyes and backed away a bit. "Just… go…" he forced the words out of his mouth.
There was a pause. Kabuto opened his left eye to cautiously peek at Sasuke, who was sitting on his bed, pouting like a six-year-old.
"Fine!" The Uchiha hopped up from his bed and ran out the door. Kabuto sighed.
"Well, I've never seen him pull THAT face before," he thought aloud. "I better watch out, and not give in."
As Itachi headed down the confusing halls, he didn't take the correct turn to Orochimaru's room (he didn't dare). Instead, he walked outside and by the pond that he had fallen by when him and Sasuke were so cruelly switched into each others' bodies. He sat beside the pond and looked down into the water, only to see Sasuke staring straight back at him, looking just as sorrowful as he felt. He let a sigh escape his lips.
"Sasuke…" he said quietly, missing his brother more than ever.
If his stupid clan wouldn't have tried to take over Konoha, this would have never happened.
But of course, Itachi had never thought about it that way.
It had been about two weeks since he was transferred into Sasuke's body. Honestly, he couldn't understand why Sasuke stayed with Orochimaru. He guessed that he had been powerful enough before the pedophile started attempting to rape him, and all. So he could've left tons sooner, right?
But, maybe he was wrong.
Itachi spent the rest of the day there, doing nothing but thinking. He lay down on the grass, looking up at the freely flowing clouds, then, before long, the sunset. It was so lovely, one of the few beautiful things left in this hideous world.
This had to be the most depressing, exhausting, unproductive day in the history of Itachi Uchiha.
Itachi: Gosh, can't this story just end already?
Me: Don't worry, Itachi! Things will look up next time.
Itachi: Yeah, right. F*ck my life.
Me: Don't say that :( Just take my word for it.
Itachi: Psh, not in the next chapter. Things will just get worse. Seriously, you might as well just kill me, already.
Me: NO I REFUSE! So, everyone, thank you for reading, and yes, I mean things will get better for poor Itachi, but I guess he's right, I can't promise it'll get better in the next chapter... since I just write everything on the spot. But let's all hope so! So, just keep on reading :)
Itachi: F*ck my life.
Me: Oh, don't be such a downer. We all love you, Itachi! So you and everyone else might as well kick back and enjoy the rest ^-^
Itachi: If that's even possible.
Me: Oh, it is. Bye, everyone! See ya next time! ^_^