On the flight back to Pine Valley, Erica sat quietly as she starred out of the window.

The weekend was over and Erica was surprised to still feel empty. That was supposed to be her dream; finally achieving the fame and recognition she had always craved and yet it had done nothing but leave a bitter taste in her mouth.

Erica looked across at her daughter Kendal, who was laughing happily at something Griffin had said. She though back to last night, how Marissa had moved without as moment's hesitation to comfort Bianca. Her two daughters seemed to have found themselves a little piece of happiness and love and they were content. Erica wondered why she could never just be like that.

Why did she always want more? Why was it never enough just to be happy?

Maybe it was time for a change… Maybe?

…

Kendal sent her mother on ahead while she and Griffin waited for the luggage. Her daughter had clearly noticed her mood.

Erica walked out of the departure gate to see a tall figure waiting for her.

Jackson Montgomery.

He hadn't seen her yet; he was looking passed her into the crowd, a hint of eagerness in his eyes.

She enjoyed the little window of anonymity to truly look at him. She remembered how they had first met and how they had fallen in love, the affair that had torn her family apart. They had loved each other and they had hurt each other over the years but they always found their way back to the beginning again, always found their way back to falling in love. Erica knew she had a reputation with men, the two dull television interviews today had proved that. The guy on the Today show had made a joke out of it and Erica laughed along but it hurt as well. Why did she always find an excuse to run away from Jack when they got close? She knew the reason. It was the same reason why she so desperately wanted to go to New York. It was the same reason Erica did a lot of things. It was just a reason she could never admit to anyone, not even herself.

She looked at Jackson's handsome face and sighed, maybe it was time to tell someone the truth, admit what really scared her.

As she walked towards him, he noticed her and a wide delighted smile lit his face. The smile vanished when he noticed the small unhappy expression Erica's was wearing.

"Erica?" he asked as she quickened her pace to him.

He opened his arms and held her as she sank her head into his chest.

"I missed you." said Erica sadly. "I'm so sorry."

"Has something happened?"

Erica sighed and nodded her head.

She looked up at Jack.

"Can we go somewhere to talk?"

There was concern in his eyes, as his hand stroked Erica's shoulder.

"Of course. Do you want me to take you home?"

Erica shook her head.

"No. Reggie's family might be there. Can we go somewhere we can be alone?"

"I think I know a place." said Jackson, worry in his voice as he pulled Erica close to his side. "Come on."

…

Jackson led Erica into the yacht's stateroom.

"The refurbishments are complete. What do you think?" said Jackson. The old décor had been ripped away and the cabin was now covered in a rich mahogany panelling and was furnished with antique nautical touches. "I mean I almost sold it after what happened to Bianca and Kendal on this boat. But it holds so many happy memories too. I couldn't bear to part with it."

"It looks nice." said Erica

She hadn't moved from the doorway.

Jackson straightened up to look at her.

"What did you want to talk to me about?"

"Am I a monster?" Erica asked.

"What? What would make you say that!"

"I am so protective of my girls. I would rather lose an arm than have someone hurt them. But I hurt them. I hurt them all the time and I've hurt you too all for my own vanity."

"Erica what's brought this on?"

"This weekend; the film; it was humiliating. It was humiliating for my girls and I made them sit through it. I knew what they were going to do with my book… or I should have known."

Jackson put hand on Erica's arm.

"Erica you have only just come out of hospital. You have been in a coma for months. How could you have known anything?"

"But I knew before the night of the shooting. I knew before I sold Kit the rights that it would sensualise my life. I didn't give my girls a moment's thought." said Erica starring intensely into Jackson's eyes. "They showed the rape. I made my daughter watched her own rape."

"Erica!" said Jackson, shocked at the venom in Erica's voice.

"Am I that vain? Am I that self-centred?" cried Erica, "I have two beautiful daughters… and I have grandchildren! Four incredible grandchildren, but until last night… until my row with Kit I don't think I've ever called them that. I'm so vain I'm not even willing to admit that I'm grandmother. I mean who am I lying to except myself."

"Erica you are starting to scare me."

"I'm starting to scare myself." said Erica. "I went out to New York to finally make my dream come true and it was fun at first, just like I remembered, all the attention and the glamour; but the more people I spoke to, the more I saw through the falseness of it all. I went to New York to feel young and successful again and now I just feel stupid and selfish and… old. Jack, I feel old."

Erica starred at him with pleading eye. Her last words were the last thing she would ever want to admit.

Jackson nodded finally understand what was truly upsetting the woman he loved. He smiled and pulled her into a hug.

"You will never be old. It sounds to me that this trip may have helped open your eyes. Allowed you to, dare I say it, grow up a little and accept that things change. But Erica you will never grow old. You are immortal. You are as beautiful today as the day I met you."

"You're only saying that because of how you feel about me. But you want me to settle down with you…"

"Hey, that has everything to do with growing up and absolutely nothing to do with growing old. I want to spend the rest of my life with you! I wasn't planning to book us into Shady Acres, with matching carpet slippers."

Erica smiled at Jackson, when she caught the mischievous spark in his eyes. It was the look that Erica adored; passion and humour, everything that made Jackson the man he was, the man she loved.

"I want that." sighed Erica.

"You want the carpet slippers?"

Erica laughed sweetly.

"No, I want to… grow up with you."

Jackson smile widened and he pulled Erica close for a kiss.

"So does that mean I can call you Granny Erica now?" he asked as they shared a smile.

"No." said Erica sharply pulling away. "Erica works fine. We don't want to confuse my daughter's children."

Jackson bit back a laugh. Erica grinned too.

"I mean my grandchildren…"

…