A/N: Sup people? I'm back with yet another installment of Big Time Reminiscence...
Hope you enjoy!
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Anyways, without further ado! Here it is!
Cheers,
Franshes
Ch. 3: Big Time Complicated
Kendall was a nervous wreck as he knocked lightly on Jo's apartment door. He ran his hand through his hair, attempting to soothe his nerves and also, attempting to stop the pang of guilt he was feeling when he thought of James in the hospital bed. Jo's dad opened and gave him a curt nod.
"Good night sir," Kendall said, nodding at him, still scared by man was a freaking CIA agent for God's sake!
"Kendall," he answered dryly, acknowledging his presence "Jo will be down in a few minutes…you can come on in if you'd like,"
"Thanks," Kendall said, fidgeting with his tie, he'd put on a tux, not because of the movies but because Jo had texted him to let him know they'd be going out to dinner at a fancy place afterwards. He entered Jo's apartment and sat down to wait for Jo in the dining table with her father who was reading the newspaper.
With a huff, Kendall rested his head on his arms, wishing his mind could stop the images of him and James.
"You alright boy?" Jo's dad asked him sympathetically "I heard about the accident…how are you holding up?"
Kendall winced.
He knew people asked him about James because they were worried about him, but every time someone mentioned the whole accident to Kendall it was like running a knife through his chest. Especially because he hated the answer he always had to give.
"I'm fine sir," he lied "James…well, there's still no change whatsoever, or so the doctor tells us…"
"Don't lose faith," Jo's dad said "He's going to be alright and so are you…believe me boy, I know what I'm telling you. After our son died my wife sunk into a terrible depression. She never recovered fully. Eventually she just couldn't take it anymore and she packed her bags and left me and Jo…"
"Oh," Kendall said "I knew about the little boy's death…Jo told me. However, she never told me about her mother. And I've seen them talking over by the phone so I assumed…"
"Oh no, they still keep in touch," Jo's father said "She never truly left Jo…she'd already lost a son, she wasn't about to lose a daughter too but…she just couldn't be a family with us anymore. She needed her own space. She isolated herself completely from everybody she knew…don't make the same mistakes my wife did, boy. Live your life. If you get away from everyone that cares about you it'll only make the pain worse…"
Kendall nodded. He could see that Jo's father DID have a point. However, he didn't have much time to dwell on those thoughts for he was shaken out them by a voice calling out to him.
"Hey Kendall, I'm ready." Jo said as she came downstairs, smiling and holding on to her purse.
Kendall smiled at her. She looked gorgeous in a pale pink glittery dress, gold high heeled sandals and a matching glittering little purse. Her hair had been curled into nice ringlets which fell gracefully over her shoulders. She had on light makeup and had applied simple pink lipstick.
"You look great," Kendall told her honestly.
"Thanks. You're not that bad yourself, let's get going," she said.
Kendall offered her his arm, which she took, and they left her apartment together, Kendall doing his best to ignore the knots forming in his stomach from the guilt he felt at going in this 'date' with Jo.
2 hours later...
"That movie was hilarious!" Jo replied smiling as she walked a little ahead of Kendall, both of them coming out of the theater "Ah…that's why I love Anne Hathaway, she's a great actress, she can totally pull off a comedy, a tragedy, heck even an action movie. She's just amazing…"
"You'll be even better, you'll see…" Kendall assured her.
Jo blushed and turned away from him.
"I don't know, I don't think so," she mumbled "I'm not that pretty…"
"Oh c'mon, you're very pretty, you're gorgeous!" Kendall exclaimed.
Jo smiled weakly at him, her hands on her hips.
"This, coming from a gay guy-no offense, that doesn't really comfort me much…I mean, I couldn't even…win you over. I couldn't win Jett over…it's like love's not meant for me…" she said.
"Hey, hey, don't say things like that," Kendall said, wrapping his arms around her "Look…Jett didn't notice 'cause- 'cause he's an asshole, that's why, and you really shouldn't feel bad about losing HIM for you can do so much better than that. Me, well, it was bad luck…but I can totally tell you, as a bisexual guy that- if I wasn't so in love with James- I'd totally go for you…I mean, what is there not to like about you? You're smart, sweet, you're caring…you're amazing Jo. And one of these days…someone WILL realize it and you'll be very happy with someone who appreciates just how wonderful you are…"
Jo didn't answer him and instead leaned in closer to him, closing her eyes.
Kendall leaned in, also closing his eyes until he felt her lips softly press up against his. The kiss was short and sweet but Kendall still pulled away from it rather quickly, guiltiness kicking in.
"Jo-I can't…" he said, pained "I'm sorry…you're amazing, and I love you but…not as much as James. Never, as much as James,"
"It's okay, I understand," said Jo, giving him a weak smile "That was never my intention, I don't even know where the kiss came from, maybe we should just- go eat now, don't you think?"
"I…agree," Kendall said, nervously running his hands through his hair, his stomach tightened in a big knot for reasons Kendall couldn't even fathom.
He followed Jo to the restaurant which, to his dismay, he found was Gourmet Palazzo, the very same restaurant where his and James' first ever date had been. The place held so many memories for him; he had to fight back the tears that came when he remembered how happy he and James had been back then…
However, he shook those thoughts away and instead tried his hardest to focus on Jo. To begin their night, they both ordered lemonades and the waiter quickly left to get their drinks.
"So," Jo said after a while, smiling at him "What did you do today at the studio?"
"Same old stuff, like always," Kendall replied with a shrug "We recorded two new songs for the new album…Gustavo kept yelling at me, though. Said I was messing up the harmony or melody of the song, something like that…"
"How so? You sing beautifully, Kendall!" Jo exclaimed.
Kendall sighed.
"I know," he said "But he kept saying I was like Carlos trying to sing that break-up song…he never did it right, because it was a sad song and he made it sound like a happy one. And now I'm messing things up because I'm supposed to be singing a happy song, but according to Gustavo, I keep making it sound melancholic…"
"Nah, he's probably stressed out, that's all," Jo offered helpfully.
"No, he's probably right…" Kendall said, avoiding Jo's eyes "The song's a love song and…I haven't been able to sing about love- not since the accident…"
"Kendall, I'm sorry…" Jo said, placing a comforting hand over his "I really am, I wish I could do something to make you feel better…I really do,"
"You're already doing too much," Kendall said, smiling weakly "It can't be easy hanging out with boring and depressed old me, can it?"
"It's still fun, Kendall, you want to know why?" Jo said sincerely.
"Why?" Kendall said.
"Because it's you and you'll always be amazing…you're hurting now, I know that, but you'll get better, I also know that…"
"How can you be so sure?" Kendall asked her "I feel like I'm dying inside,"
"Because you're Kendall Knight," Jo said with a shrug "You overcome anything. If you got past your dad's death as a 10-year old kid, and switching all your life around at 16, you'll manage this time. I know it,"
"Thanks," was all Kendall could say.
Throughout the rest of that dinner, he kept having troubling thoughts.
For one, there were the painful flashbacks to his and James' time together. Yet now there was another, slightly more pleasant, situation at hand. As Kendall kept looking over at Jo and how she looked, laughing at his lame attempts at jokes, illuminated by the soft candlelight he couldn't help but notice how beautiful she really was, both inside and out.
Their kiss kept replaying in his mind over and over.
He knew he was in for big trouble.
That night...
Late that night, Kendall tossed and turned in his bed, moaning in his sleep.
For one, he hated his room now and how empty it felt since James' accident. But right now, his dreams were the ones tormenting him.
Dreamland…
"You're a really cute guy, Kendall, I really like you," Jo said, blushing.
"You're a very pretty girl and I like you too…" Kendall replied, brushing a strand of hair out of her face.
"Kiss me," Jo said and Kendall did, moaning when he did. She felt so nice, so warm and huggable, almost like his teddy-bear which he'd stopped sleeping with after he turned 9. Jo moaned and Kendall used this to run his tongue into her mouth, making her knees weaken so that he was practically carrying all her weight.
He couldn't remember being this happy in a long while…
A sudden, pain-filled voice interrupted him.
"Kendall?" the voice asked, full of betrayal.
Kendall turned around and stared, horrified, at James' tear-filled eyes.
"How could you do this to me?" James whispered "You promised you'd never forget about me!"
"No-James-I didn't-"Kendall said, desperately trying to hold on to the brunette who was slowly walking away from him.
"Let me go! You forgot me already, remember?" James said, glaring at him.
"I didn't forget about you…" Kendall whispered, watching the brunette walk away from him.
"NO! James, I'd never forget you!" Kendall exclaimed, bolting awake, tears streaming down his face.
Kendall broke down and cried for what seemed like hours.
He missed James…Jo made him feel better, made his life feel like it was still worth living…but he missed James so much!
Kendall wiped his eyes and sighed, grabbing his phone's screen which displayed a picture of him and James holding hands during a date in the mall. However, as he looked at it for several long moments, the picture began to fade and, instead, his screen saver- a picture of him and Jo from a year ago in the Adventure Park where they'd filmed "Boyfriend" popped up.
He sighed.
When did life get so complicated?
A/N: Whew! Long chapter! No? Not really? Lol. Let me know what you guys thought.
So...poor Kendall, seems he's in for a tough choice. Next chapter will include more about James and how he's doing.
I tried not to make Jo into an opportunistic bitch who just jumped up at the first chance she got to steal Kendall. I want to make it clear that she's not trying, in any way, to get him to leave James for her. She just wants him to recover-as we all do, correct?
Jendall haters...sorry guys :( BUT as you can see James has NOT been forgotten. And he won't be. Ever.
Again, please please pretty please review!
Reviews'll motivate me to have another chapter ready for you guys sooner than you'd think...
Hope you liked it!
On a brighter note...who saw "Big Time Rides?" I gotta say I loved the episode, and the Cargan was cute (as was the Jendall and Jatie, though I see production's heavily frustrating Jucy-lovers, lol. Buddha Bob was epic...what did you guys think of the episode?
Cheers,
Franshes