A/N: Thanks everyone for the reviews. Keep 'em coming! I am still in awe over the number of reviews and hits this story has received. I am grateful to you, more than you know. This story is unfolding at a pace I feel comfortable with and I hope you do too.

Despite going to bed late the previous night, Cuddy was up at the crack of dawn on Saturday morning. She wanted to enjoy some quiet time before Rachel woke up because on weekends it seemed Rachel was full of energy. She never complained though because having Rachel in her life was a blessing. Cuddy recalled the many years of her life when went home to a quiet, empty house and spent all her free time doing paperwork. Watching Rachel grow up was like a second childhood for her and Cuddy was determined to enjoy every minute of it. She finished her morning yoga with some stretches and afterwards while rolling up her mat, she noticed the pad of paper she'd left on the coffee table last night before turning in. A feeling of contentment and relaxation, unlike anything she'd felt in a long time, enveloped her at that moment as she recalled the thoughts she had put into written words last night. I can't think about that right now, I'll wait till Rachel goes to bed tonight. Her focus suddenly shifted when Rachel suddenly bounded into the kitchen.

"Mommy what are we going to do today?"

As she reached down to hug her little girl she said, "I've got a surprise for you."

"What mommy?"

"I'm not telling you my little monkey because then it wouldn't be a surprise."

"Mommy pleeeease?" Rachel stood there pouting with her hands on her hips. Cuddy knew that pose, she owned it. Wilson used to tease her that while her little girl may not be hers biologically, she was Cuddy in every way that mattered. When Rachel acted like that, her mother could not resist.

"Okay, okay. Hannah and her mom will be here in a little while and we're going to breakfast and then to the park."

Rachel jumped up and down yelling "Yay! I'm going to the pa-ark, I'm going to the pa-ark. I'm going to see Han-nah, I'm going to see Han-nah" and Cuddy just laughed watching her daughter dancing and singing all over the house.

House and Wilson were sitting in their usual booth at PJ's. Wilson had once joked they ate there so much they should have their names engraved on a brass plate in their favorite booth. The two had unintentionally begun a ritual of eating breakfast there on Saturday mornings, unless they were working. It began shortly after House got out of prison. He had craved real pancakes and since they were both too lazy to make them, they opted on eating out. Thus, a tradition was born. On this breezy and cold Saturday morning, the two were immersed in stacks of pancakes and arguing over whether or not Taub was banging the new nurse in pediatrics.

"House, he's got two little girls for crissakes, he's too busy to be banging anyone."

"How do you think he got those two little girls?"

"A hundred bucks says he's not doing her."

"Oh you're so on." House replied as he held out his hand so he and Wilson could seal the deal.

"So, when's your mom coming to visit?"

"Nice segue. She'll be here next weekend."

"You going to clean up?"

"What's to clean?"

"House, you're a bachelor."

"Oh lighten up Martha Stewart, she's staying at a hotel." He added, "It was her idea, and yes my place will be clean."

"Are you nervous?"

"About cleaning my apartment? Gee uh...no."

"No you ass, seeing your mom."

"Fuck's sake Wilson, she saw me naked and changed my shitty diapers when I was a baby, why would I be nervous?"

"House, she's going to want to talk about what happened with Cuddy. You have two choices, the first is deflecting, and the other is telling the truth."

House sat silent, spearing his pancakes. He was unprepared for this conversation so early in the morning.

"Listen House, she's your mom and she loves you no matter what. Maybe it's just time you talk to her, you know, about everything. You know that I didn't go into details with her about you and Cuddy. I just told her that you two broke up and that shortly after you recovered from major surgery you still weren't yourself and you were depressed and your state of mind caused you to go over the edge. She wanted to know more but I told her I felt you should talk to her about the rest. You need to talk to her."

House just sighed and shrugged his shoulders. "Wilson, this is my mom, the woman who stood by me when everything and everyone else in my life sucked. When I was growing up she was the one person who never disappointed me. She was the one who made sure I picked myself up when someone pushed me down. She was...is a good person and she raised me better than to do all the fucked up things I have done in my life. How the hell am I supposed to sit across the dinner table from her and explain how her only son, the handsome, genius doctor she brags about to her friends at the Woman's Club and shuffleboard league fucked up his life so bad he went to prison for it. Just tell me, how am I supposed to do that?"

Wilson sat quiet, knowing when House was on a roll it was best to just let him finish.

House rubbed his leg and continued his rant. "My dad, oh if he were alive today he'd be telling me what a son of a bitch I am and how I never deserved someone like Cuddy in the first place and that I deserved to rot in hell for what I did."

"Your dad is dead House; you don't have to worry about what he'd say."

"He was right you know."

"About?"

"A lot of things."

"I'm not a mind reader."

House sipped his coffee before he continued. "He told me on more than one occasion I just didn't know how good I had it. He made sure I knew how he felt every single goddamned time I screwed up."

"Your dad was wrong; you didn't deserve all the crap he gave you."

"He used to ask me how I could be so damn smart and make so many stupid mistakes."

"What did your mom do?"

"She'd tell him to stop being so hard on me, that I was my own person and would find my way in the world. Then he'd grunt, pick up his newspaper and walk into another room. Mom would tell me he didn't mean any of those things, that he loved me, it was just hard for him to show it and I shouldn't pay any attention to those comments. She always tried to undo the damage he did."

"So your mom protected you?"

"I guess. She tried. She couldn't always be there when he started on me and in the end no matter how much she tried I guess it wasn't enough was it? Remind me why we're talking about my mother again?"

"I asked you when she would be here."

"Oh yeah I can see now how the conversation would obviously move from that to analyzing my childhood. Thanks so much for helping me remember the good old days."

At that moment the waitress brought them two more stacks of cakes which they accepted greedily. It also gave House an opportunity to change the subject.

"So Jimmy boy, what else is new?"

"Not a damn thing House. But you know that already, don't you?"

"Have you...had any interesting phone calls recently?"

"Gee, you're being so cryptic; I can't even imagine who you're referring to."

House rolled his eyes and stuffed another forkful of pancakes into his mouth.

"House, I haven't heard from her. Sending her that letter was a pretty big deal, you've got to give it time."

"Maybe I shouldn't have sent it. She has every right to hate me. Hell I'd hate me if I were her."

"House, you hate everyone."

"Words hurt you know." After a moment, House spoke again. "You think she'll ever forgive me?"

"I forgave you."

"You punched me."

Between mouthfuls, he replied, "I punched you. Then I forgave you."

"I didn't run my car into your house and nearly kill you."

"Well there is that."

"Gee thanks. So do you think she'll ever forgive me?"

"I don't know."

"Now what the hell kind of answer is that?"

"It's an honest answer. It's the only answer I can give. House I have absolutely no idea if she will forgive you. You're asking a lot from her. The only thing I am sure of is that you both still care very deeply for one another but this was big, really big and whether she can forgive you for the worst thing you've ever done to her...well...I just don't know."

"You sure know how to make a guy feel all warm and fuzzy inside."

"Hey you asked. Look, it took Cuddy a long time to get through what happened. She cried a lot, more than you could ever know."

"Okay maybe it's time to change the subject."

Wilson pointed his fork at House. "You brought this up. House, you can't ignore this. If you want her forgiveness you have to be patient. You have to understand just how much you hurt her. After the breakup she cried every single night, sometimes hours at a time and on some days she could barely function. But after you drove into her home and ran off, it was worse. She was torn, confused, angry, and hurt. Cuddy is a strong woman and I have never ever seen her in the state she was in when you left town. She knew you were screwed up but you'd never done anything to try and hurt her, not in that way. Goddammit House, she may have broken up with you but don't think it didn't hurt her. She loved you, more than she ever loved anyone. I know that because she told me."

"Hurt goes both ways Wilson. She didn't want me to change but she dumped me over one Vicodin."

"House, you have no idea. You just have no idea how that breakup tore her to pieces as much as it did you. She told me numerous times afterwards that she regretted it. She was scared, just as you were. She felt she acted hastily but then after all the self-destructive things you did afterwards, it made her even more scared to try and make things right with you."

House banged his fist on the table. "Goddamnit Wilson I loved her." He lowered his voice as a few patrons glanced over at their table.

House continued, "I would have done anything for her. I tried so hard to be what she wanted me to be. I know I could have done better, I just hoped that when I did eventually fuck it up, she'd help me through it and not give up. I've only ever been in love with two women in my life, Stacy and Cuddy. Stacy was a good person and what we had worked but in the end she deserved better than what I gave her. With Cuddy, as crazy as our relationship was, we were good together. It was the best thing I've ever had in my life. For the first time in my screwed up life I actually felt like I might finally be able to have what my dad had always told me I didn't deserve."

Wilson was amazed House had opened up like that so he just listened.

"I know I screwed up Wilson. There are no excuses. But damnit she hurt me too. She hurt me worse than Stacy ever did because she'd always been there through everything and she knew me better than anyone else, other than you. She promised me she loved me for who I was. She made me a better person and made me want things I never thought I could ever have."

"I know and I'm sorry."

House sat back in the booth and rubbed his right thigh again.

"You okay House?"

"Yeah, it just hurts a little more right now than usual."

Wilson nodded his understanding. He knew that while House experienced real physical pain, it was sometimes exacerbated by his emotional pain and turmoil. He had watched House fight so hard against the temptation to take Vicodin since leaving prison. He was proud of his friend but he knew he had a long way to go. Not ready to give up on this conversation in the hopes House would open up more, Wilson said, without looking up as he stabbed another pancake, "She wasn't seeing that guy in her house that day; he was just a friend of her sister."

"What?"

"That guy you saw, she said his name was Jerry, she wasn't seeing him. She told me later you'd asked her if she had been seeing anyone and she told you no. That was the truth. She had a feeling that seeing him in her house might have been what pushed you over the edge."

"Why are you telling me this?"

"Because I wanted you to know she was telling you the truth. She told me you'd asked if she'd been seeing anyone after the breakup. She said after you, nobody even came close and she had decided to focus on her life with Rachel."

"So you're telling me I ran my car into her house and went to prison over a misunderstanding?"

"House I still have no idea why you did what you did."

"Honestly, neither do I."

Both men became quiet, a little tension in the air. House fingered the brightly-colored braided cotton bracelet on his right wrist. "You know what this is for?" he asked Wilson.

"I figured you'd tell me when you were ready."

"Therapy."

"Therapy?"

"I made this."

"You? Why?"

"To remind me every day of what I had done."

"Why do you wear it now?"

"Same reason."

"You don't need that bracelet to remember."

"You're right and yet I still wear it."

"House, you're quite the enigma." Wilson shook his head as House smirked in response. The two continued to eat their breakfast in silence.

An hour later, Cuddy, Sharon and their daughters were sitting at a booth inside The Friendly Toast, which was one of Cuddy's favorite places to eat in Cambridge. She and Sharon often took the girls there for breakfast before their Saturday trips to the park. The girls were absolutely in love with the blueberry pancakes and portions were so huge they usually split a plate between them. As the girls enjoyed their pancakes and giggled, their mothers were heavy into conversation about the week's events.

"I can't believe you stayed so long, I thought for sure your mom would drive you crazy."

"She nearly did but the only reason I didn't give her a hard time was because she was really helpful to Julia and the kids. She took care of a lot of things for my sister. Julia could hardly function at times, I'm glad mom was there for her."

"Did you and Julia have a chance to talk?"

"Yeah we did. I learned some things I never knew."

"Like what?"

"I always thought she and Michael had this perfect marriage. Turns out that wasn't the case. I mean they were very happy together but it wasn't always perfect. Julia told me they fought quite a bit."

"Every couple fights."

"I just thought that since they seemed so happy all the time, you know, they were happy all the time"

"So they weren't?"

"Actually, they were. But they fought and argued like everyone else. It's just that I never saw it. I just thought..." Cuddy didn't finish her sentence, not sure how to finish it.

"You're doing it again." Sharon said as she took a swig of her coffee.

Cuddy raised an eyebrow and looked at Sharon expecting her to continue.

"Seriously Lisa, you can't see it? You're doing it, you're comparing. You do it all the time."

"I do not."

"Yes, you do."

"God Sharon, you sound like Wilson."

"I like Wilson, he's a good guy, so I'm flattered you compare me to him. Seriously Lisa, did you do this when you dated? Did you compare what your relationships were like to what other people's relationships were like?"

"Well...maybe, I just knew there were certain ways people treated each other in relationships. I know how Michael treated Julia, at least what I saw, he was a lot like dad. I remember how my parents got along, I mean for all their madness, my parents had something really good. Yeah they argued but it wasn't until I was older and dating that it hit me, all the little things dad did for mom...that's what I wanted. I guess in a way I was comparing the guys I dated with dad. Sounds absurd doesn't it?"

"Nope, actually it's quite normal. It's just part of human behavior. The things we experience in life helps determine our actions and what we want and need. Most often, it's based on the people we have the most exposure to, people we look up to, usually our parents."

"So why did none of my relationships ever last?"

"I don't know Lisa. I suppose you have to ask yourself what you wanted out of those relationships, what you expected. Knowing your mother, your parents' marriage was probably far from perfect, remember as kids we only see a certain side of our parents relationship. While we live with them all our childhood, we don't really see what goes on between them behind closed doors. Again, what did you want from those men? What did you expect? Why did they fall short?"

Cuddy just sat there listening to Sharon intently, then looked down and noticed she'd been stirring her coffee rather vigorously for quite some time. She put her spoon down, looked out the window next to them and sighed. Sharon was asking some deep questions she couldn't answer right away. She'd often asked herself why her relationships never worked out. She used to blame it on House because he generally had a habit of intruding upon her dates but she had to be honest for once and admit that most of the time she was glad he did intrude, which meant that she really hadn't liked those guys enough to give them much thought afterwards. The thought occurred to her that if what Sharon said was true, about basing one's own expectations of a relationship on how others conducted themselves in relationships, in her case, her own parents, why then did she not seek out a man who was much like her own father? Actually I did look for a guy with dad's qualities but they bored me. She chuckled to herself after that thought. My dad wasn't boring, not by a long shot. He was stable, worked long hours, loved his job but he loved his family too and he made us laugh all the time. Cuddy recalled her father's antics, how he was a great storyteller. They would laugh at his "tall tales". Every time he told a story about something that happened at work or in his youth, it seemed the story got more extraordinary each time. That used to make the girls laugh. Their mother would just sit by smirking but not saying a word, knowing the truth but enjoying the entertainment.

The laughter of two little girls brought her out of her trance. The two were a bit fidgety and she thought it might be time to take them to the playground to work off some of that energy. She then looked across the table at Sharon who had been eyeing her thoughtfully.

"Lisa what were you thinking just now? You seemed lost in thought."

"I was thinking about my dad. He used to crack us up."

"Care to share?"

"Yeah, but first let's get these two to the park before they explode." Both women laughed as Cuddy motioned for the waitress to bring them their check. As she waited for the check, Cuddy was still thinking, about what Sharon had said. If she indeed had compared all her relationships to that of her sister and her husband and her parents, then technically she should have found the kind of man both her mother and sister had found. But those kind of men did not excite her, they did not challenge her, in fact many of them had felt intimidated by her. No, the only one who had challenged and excited her and not been intimidated, had been the one man who was not at all like the type of man she'd always believed was right for her.

"Lisa?"

"Lisa?"

"Oh sorry. Just lost for a moment."

Sharon chuckled. "I see that. You ready? Because these two aren't going to last much longer cooped up here."

Cuddy and Sharon decided to ride together to the park and as they took off with the girls safely tucked in the backseat, Cuddy heard Rachel tell Hannah, "I bet you I can hang upside down on the monkey bars longer than you."

Cuddy couldn't stifle her laughter when she glanced in the rearview mirror and saw Rachel stick her tongue out at Hannah who giggled in response. She shook her head thinking about the man who taught her daughter to stick her tongue out like that. There was no doubt it was the same man who taught her daughter how to hang from the monkey bars and bet others that she could do it longer.

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