Disclaimer: I'm really getting tired of this. I don't own One Piece.

Sanji's fingers twitched as he felt yet another urge to light a cigarette. For whatever reason, his guide's laidback, lazy attitude pissed him off. It was the withdrawal, he decided. Everything irritated him.

It was all the shitty geezer's fault.

"Where are the kitchens?" he asked casually, hands in his pockets as they walked through the halls. He probably wasn't allowed in there, but there was no way in hell that they'd keep him from cooking.

Pineapple-hair looked back at him, eyebrow raised in question. "We're headed to the cafeteria now, as I said earlier."

He physically restrained himself from rolling his eyes. "That's not what I asked. Where are the kitchens?" He repeated his question as if the man was a bit daft, enunciating each word clearly. The bastard looked unaffected, and Marco turned his head back around to face forward.

"They're just behind the cafeteria. May I ask why you want to know?"

"No," was the short response.

They walked in silence until they reached their destination. "Here we are," Marco stated. "You have time before lunch ends, then it'll be social hour and you can get to know your new inmates."

Inmates, huh? Guess the man did have a sense of humor after all. Sanji nodded his thanks and entered the room without another glance at his guide. He figured it was rude to treat the man that way considering he'd helped him get settled and find his way around, but Sanji wasn't in the best of moods. Being put into a shitty mental hospital wasn't exactly a part of his plan for life.

"SO COOL!"

The sudden loud shout made Sanji wince. A lanky boy had appeared in front of him, mouth open in amazement. He pointed his finger at the older teen's face and exclaimed, "Ace, Sabo, come look at this!"

Sanji pushed the offending digit out of the way, directing a glare at the boy. "What the fuck do you think you're doing, shitty brat." It was more of a statement than a question.

"Your eyebrow, it's all swirly!"

Said eyebrow twitched. It wasn't the first time someone had commented on his…unusual facial feature. Back then though, he could send those people home with broken bones and bruised ribs. If he did that here, he'd probably be thrown into one of those straitjackets and a white room.

Before he could tell the kid off, a gruff-looking man with green hair walked over to the teen and put a scarred hand on his shoulder. "Leave Swirly-Brow here alone, Luffy. There's nothing interesting about him anyway."

"Oi, watch it Moss-Head."

The man turned a glare toward him. "What'd you say?"

"Oh, I'm sorry." Sanji gave Luffy a falsely sympathetic look. "I didn't know your friend was deaf."

The man grabbed at his left hip and cursed when he found nothing. He scowled at the blonde. "Fuck you."

"Luffy!"

Sanji turned to see a beautiful woman walking towards them, an alluringly fierce look on her face. Her orange hair fell softly down to her shoulders and the slight sway to her hips was hypnotizing. He immediately hurried over to her and fell onto one knee. She stopped and looked at him in surprise. He took the opportunity to grab her hand and kiss it gently. "What a stunning lady! Mademoiselle, I am your servant. Is there anything you'd like? Anything at all?"

The young beauty looked positively pleased at the attention. The slight shuffle of her feet and tug of her arm from his grip was clearly a sign of her approval.

"I, um…"

The barbaric man snickered behind him, and the younger male let out a boisterous laugh. "He's funny, Zoro. Can we keep him?"

Sanji stood and spun around to glower at the pair. The older one, Zoro, smirked. "I don't think so, Luffy. He's a naughty one. He'd probably soil the couches in the lounge, and Smoker'll blame us for it."

"But Zoro—"

The gorgeous woman had walked over to Luffy and punched him lightly on the head. "Stop that." She frowned at Zoro. "You too."

Zoro only crossed his arms and gave her an eye roll. "Witch."

"Don't talk to the mademoiselle that way—"

After a few moments of arguing, with the lovely woman continuously attempting to pull them apart, Sanji felt eyes on him. He looked to see Luffy staring at him with a large, shit-eating grin on his face. He gave a laugh and Sanji somehow had the feeling that something had been decided.

After much pestering from Luffy and a request from Nami—as he learned her name was—Sanji was eventually convinced to join them for lunch, much to Zoro's dismay. He walked up to the counter, already knowing that'd he'd have to sneak back in here later in the evening to make himself a proper meal…and maybe he could whip something up for Nami as well. There was no way in hell that he'd settle for whatever shit they made here.

The man behind the counter gave him a smile as he approached. "Are you the new patient?" Sanji gave him a curt nod and the man promptly inquired, "Any food allergies?" At Sanji's denial, the man quickly made his way into the kitchen. There were a few distant shouts heard within the kitchen another man returned. This one seemed to be just as welcoming as the last, if not a bit more playful. He had an extravagant pompadour hairstyle and a messy apron. He handed Sanji a plate and said, "Welcome to the Going Merry."

Sanji was surprised at the pleasant smell wafting from the meal in his hands. It was a foreign dish that he'd made plenty of times before himself, and he knew the complications involved in the process of its creation. The sound of the man's voice made him look up.

"I was told that the new patient was going to be a chef." The man was smiling. "I wanted another opinion on the dish since I've never quite been able to perfect it. The name's Thatch, by the way." He held out his hand and Sanji took it after a few moments. They shook hands, and Thatch seemed satisfied. "After you finish, tell me what you think. Don't let Luffy steal it though. He'll inhale anything within arm's reach...which is a surprisingly large range."

Thatch dismissed him with a wave and retreated back into the kitchen.

Sanji was taken aback by the man's straightforward demeanor, but brushed it off and proceeded to make his way over to the table occupied by the three people he'd met earlier today. The moss-head was already finished with his meal and had leaned back in his chair, asleep. Luffy was eating at an abnormal pace, a stack of empty plates already gathered beside him. Nami was cutting at her meal delicately, hunched over it in a slightly protective manner. Sanji wondered at that, but dismissed it as another of the group's strange quirks. There was a long-nosed boy chatting animatedly with Luffy, his chest puffed out proudly. As he neared, he caught the track of their conversation.

"—then, with a mighty swing of my sword, I sliced its head clean off! The villagers were so grateful that they threw me a huge party!"

Luffy actually seemed to believe the bullshit spewing from the teen's mouth. "Wow!" He turned his head to the left. "You hear that Sabo? How come we never went on adventures like that?"

Sanji sat down to Nami's right as Luffy continued his conversation with…air. The boy whined, "Ace, you're so mean."

"Oi, brat. Who are you talking to?"

Luffy looked at him, apparently only just realizing he was there. "Hey, you came!"

"Of course. I'd never deny a request from the lovely Nami-swan~."

The shorter boy grinned. "These are my brothers Sabo and Ace." He gestured towards the empty space to his left. He pointed at the long-nosed boy. "That's Usopp. But right now he's Sogeking."

What the fuck was that even supposed to mean?

Nami, sensing his confusion, clarified. "He has DID. Sogeking is his other personality."

Sanji nodded and the boy looked sheepish. "S-Sorry 'bout that. He comes out whenever he wants to. I can't really control it. But it's n-nice to meet you."

The stuttering bothered him, but Sanji didn't comment. He introduced himself and tucked into his food. The meal was pleasantly spicy, but not overly so. The texture and consistency was near perfect. The only fault Sanji could find was that it lacked a few certain spices.

With decent food and the plenty of beautiful ladies he'd seen while being led around the institution, maybe it wouldn't be as bad as he thought.

Sanji glanced at the people around him. He was sitting to the left of Luffy and to the right of the councilor. The other chairs in the room were occupied by Usopp, Kaya—the delicately pretty girl he'd met yesterday—and others he wasn't acquainted with.

His first group therapy session.

It was more or less how he'd expected it to be. Each person took turns stating their name and disorder while the others in the group gave their opinions and advice. Usopp had become a stuttering, blubbering mess when he became the focus of the multiple eyes in the room. Two others had begun crying during their turn—newcomers, probably—and the rest proceeded calmly, already looking accustomed to this procedure.

Sanji was curious about how Luffy's turn would go. He had already discovered the other's disorders—poor Nami-swan, how she suffered—but he had no clue as to what Luffy could possibly have. All he'd said was that he had ADHD, but that didn't explain Luffy's imaginary brothers. Sanji figured he could ask Zoro since the man seemed awfully close to the boy, but he didn't want to pry.

Eventually—after a long stream of bipolar disorder, anorexia, depression, and plenty of others—it was time for their turn. The councilor looked expectantly at Luffy. The boy looked everyone in the eye, a large confident grin stretching across his face. "My name is Monkey D. Luffy. I have ADHD."

The councilor gave Luffy a look as if asking, "and..?"

Luffy continued to smile.

The man looked disappointed, but proceeded with the usual routine of asking the others for their advice. A few people gave short comments and they quickly continued onto Sanji. The blonde looked at them all, annoyed. The whole session was getting on his nerves and he definitely didn't want to sit here talking about his problems while the others tried to sympathize. Nonetheless, he began.

"My name is Sanji and I'm histrionic."

Everyone seemed utterly baffled at the disorder. Only the councilor nodded. After he explained the condition to the other occupants of the room, they once again attempted to give reasonable advice, although most of them seemed entirely bored with the whole ordeal.

The session ended without much excitement and Sanji left the room along with Luffy, Usopp, and Kaya, heading toward the back gardens. Luffy seemed perfectly content, seemingly unconcerned about the therapy and the councilor's persistently subtle implications that Luffy should open up. Sanji inwardly snickered. The man's futile attempts were amusing.

Shitty brat.

Sanji glanced around as he silently opened the kitchen doors. He was lucky that the employees seemed to think they'd be good little patients and stay in their rooms. None of the doors were locked. He padded into the room and made his way over to the refrigerator. He took out some ingredients, prepared a few bowls, and washed his hands. He rolled up the sleeves of his pajamas and stood before the stove, pleased. He had been doing this for days now, ever since he first arrived. It was really the only way for him to relieve stress now that he wasn't allowed to smoke his cigarettes. Apparently, it wasn't allowed within the facility due to health reasons.

While Sanji understood their logic and didn't wish trouble for any of the other patients, he couldn't help but feel a bit resentful…mostly toward the shitty geezer who put him here in the first place.

He began the process to prepare his meal, and settled into the familiarity of cooking. The natural ease of creating new dishes quickly relieved him of the tension he'd gathered throughout the day. He was so engrossed with making the meal that he didn't notice when the door opened, nor did he hear the quiet sound of footsteps approaching him from behind. A hand on his shoulder finally pulled him from his reverie and he jumped.

It was Thatch.

The chef was grinning at him, and Sanji was tempted to kick that smug face of his. His fingers twitched. "What are you doing in here so late?" Sanji demanded.

Thatch raised an eyebrow. "That should be my question. What are you doing out of your room after curfew?"

"Cooking."

The man glanced behind Sanji and replied, "Yeah, I can see that. Why?"

Sanji shrugged. Oh, how he wanted a cigarette right now. "It calms me. Relieves stress."

Thatch seemed pleased at the information. "Oh, really? Same for me. That's why I love it so much. Why did you come do it so late, though?"

"I'd get caught during the day."

"Well…I could probably convince my boss to let you cook. It could be some sort of therapy."

Sanji was surprised. He might be allowed to cook? And Thatch would help it happen? "Why?" He blurted.

Idiot. Why couldn't he just take the offer and be happy with it?

Thatch didn't appear to be offended. "Because I like you. You're an asshole sometimes and you're an idiot around women, but overall you seem like a pretty nice guy. Good cook, too. Your input on that dish really made a difference. It's just about perfect now."

Sanji didn't know what to say.

Although, it seemed he wouldn't need to say anything, because just then Thatch turned around to leave the kitchen. "You owe me one. It's going to be hell trying to convince them to allow a mental patient to work with knives and flames." With that, Thatch walked out the doors with a final backwards wave.

I wanted to put this up over the weekend, but certain events prevented that. As some of you probably know, the American football Super Bowl was this weekend. While I myself couldn't care less about the outcome and the game itself, I have family members who do. I had tons of people over at my house and I spent all weekend entertaining guests, listening to angry shouting, and babysitting bratty little cousins.

Fun, right? -_-

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed the chapter. Sanji nearly gave me as much trouble as Usopp.

Sanji has histrionic personality disorder. I myself never knew of the condition until a reviewer, Kitsunelullaby, mentioned it. I researched it, and it fit so perfectly. Histrionic personality disorder (HPD) is characterized by extreme emotions and attention-seeking, usually with flirtatious, lively behavior. Sanji isn't affected by all symptoms, so I'll only list the ones he is affected by. These include constant seeking of approval (only from women, in Sanji's case), flirtatious behavior, low tolerance for frustration, rapidly shifting emotional states (when he's around women), belief that relationships are more intimate than they actually are, and being overly dramatic (once again, only around women). I'd like to thank Kitsunelullaby for that idea. It's much better than what I previously had planned for him.

Thanks so much to all my readers. You all make me so happy. :3

-Spoons

(P.S. Holy shit, guys. Over 50 reviews! You make me feel so special and I love you all so much for that. Thank you very much!)