Heartbeats

A week had passed since Harry and his mother went to Diagon Alley with Lupin and got his school supplies, and most importantly, his wand. And though he was excited beyond belief that he would be attending a school that would teach him more about magic, he was quickly becoming depressed, to the point he just sulked around in the camp or read all day in his hut.

Harry sighed as he stared blankly at the book in his hands, having read the same line for the last ten minutes. The more he thought about it, the more he realized that it would be the first time he would leave the clan more then a day, and he wouldn't be able to see his family until maybe Christmas break. Four months without them, or the forest, and then six more months after that. If he was still with the Dursley, he wouldn't hesitate to leave that long. No second thought.

But now...

Plus, there was the fact that some of the clan members weren't exactly sad to see him go. When Jason and Agatha announced that news to the clan, Harry wasn't surprised to see some older wolves looking a bit happy. It hurt though, more then he wanted to admit. After all these years of him struggling to gaining their approval, and they still didn't like him?

Sniffling softly and glad Elysia wasn't there to see him cry, Harry rubbed his eyes and went back to reading, trying to ignore the noisy hustle and bustle of clan life. And so absorbed in his reading, he didn't even noticed when his mother came in a few minutes later and plucked the book right out of his hands.

"Mum!"

"I don't want to hear it, cub," said Elysia with a wag of her finger as she snapped the book shut with one hand. "You've been holed up in here almost all week. Its not healthy, and you need to get out and move. Why don't you go play with Morgan, or race Hedwig?" she with a wave of her hand towards the owl that was sitting in the window seal, sleeping. "Mother Moon, at this point I would be happy if you even did something with Fenrir!"

"But I was just reading about potion ingredients," whined Harry as he stood, crossing his arms angrily and pouting. He knew he was acting selfish, but he didn't care, he just didn't want to leave the hut. He didn't feel like it. "Give it back!"

Raising an eyebrow, Elysia simply said, "No."

"Give it!"

"I said, no. Now stop your whining and go outside."

Suddenly, all the anger that he had bottled inside - that the clan would never believe him a true member even though he worked so hard, that they would be happy to see him go and wouldn't want him back - surged upward. "Give it back!" Harry finally shouted as he stopped his foot. "You're not my real mom anyway, and you can't tell me what to do!"

'Thud.'

The book fell open as it unexpectedly hit the floor, the words and pictures that described the many potion ingredient spread out for anyone to see as Elysia stared at Harry with shock, her hands slowly falling to her sides. She stepped towards him. "Harry -"

He didn't waste a moment. Snatching the book of the floor, Harry raced out the hut as if there was hell fire licking at his heels. He knocked into someone on his way out, but he didn't stop to see who it was - instead side stepping them before running again.

"Harry!" he heard Elysia call out, but Harry ignored it as he ran out of the clan and into the forest, which he hadn't stepped foot in alone since he was first abandoned by his uncle. The moment he stepped through the cluster of trees, he shifted into his wolf form on instinct, the book falling back to the ground and sending dust into the air.

But he didn't care anymore. He just wanted to run.

The sky rumbled as he ran, and after only a moment, sheets of rain fell from the once clear sky. Blinking away the water that was getting in his eyes, Harry now was going forth blindly, not able to see more then a few feet in front of him and focusing more on not running into a tree.

It must have only been an hour, but it felt like forever had passed when Harry finally shifted back to his human self, panting so hard that his breathe turned white in the cold air as he fell against the nearest tree for support. His hands, flat against the bark of the tree after falling, curled into fists as he bowed his head and let his heavy inky black hair hid his face from the world, rivets of water running down them.

Why did he say that? He didn't mean that - not at all! Elysia was the closest thing Harry ever had to a real mother, since his birth mother had died when he was only a year old and her sister had refused to care for him. She had cared for him for him since he was just five years old, protected him from danger of her own pack and those from the outside world, stood up for him when he wanted to join the clan and go to Hogwarts! She had done everything for him and asked for nothing in return save for his own happiness.

And now he had to go and ruined it by say that. He felt sick.

Stumbling only a few small steps away from the tree, Harry collapsed against it, ignoring the way the bark dug into his back as he slid down to sit between its large roots, bringing his muddy knees up and wrapping his arms around them while trying to ignore the cold rain. A familar position that he hadn't needed to use since he was younger. Sniffling, he buried his face in his knees and tried to hid the tears that were brimming in the corners of his eyes.

How could he go back now after shouting such a horrible thing to Elysia? She probably would never forgive him. Probably at this very moment, she was telling her own parents that she didn't want him anymore, that they would just ship him off to Hogwarts and not let him back during the holidays and warm season. And then he would never see her, or Morgan, or Fenrir again, and probably send him back to the Dursleys...

"I don't wanna leave," Harry mumbled to himself, curling even more and letting tears roll down his cheeks as another rumble of thunder filled the air. This was his home now.

Sometime later, perhaps only fifteen minutes or so, the sound of crunching leaves filled the air, forcing Harry to lift his head up and glance around. It was the sound of someone who was unintentionally causing noise, or someone who didn't know how to move silently. Meaning it was definitely not anyone from the clan.

Scrambling up while trying not to slip in mud and roots, Harry was looking for a place to go when something crashed into the clearing he was currently hiding in. The young boy froze as he watched the man curse at himself, trying to shield his eyes from the still pouring rain with one hand while hold a strange long item in his other.

It took him a few short moments to actually see Harry, and he blinked a few times in surprise at the strange sight of a boy in the middle of the woods during a thunderstorm, wearing worn clothing, no shoes, and with long hair that had to be pulled back. "Hey, what are you doin' here, kid? Don't you know these woods are dangerous?"

Not answering, Harry glanced around the stranger, wondering if he could make it passed the man and back to the clan without getting caught.

"Did you get lost, big guy? Or maybe separated from your parents?" asked the man, shifting the item in his hand to the other. As he moved it a flash of lightning broke through the trees and glinted for a moment, Harry's emerald eyes went wide as he recognized it.

A rifle.

The memory of a gunshot rang through Harry's mind, and before he even realized what he was doing, he whirled around and ran off, determined to get as far away from this man as he could.

"Wh - Kid, get back here! Its dangerous out there..."

But it wasn't to him. This was his home, where he had grown up in since he was only five years old and what had kept him safe from the dangers of the outside world. This was his safe place. Nothing could hurt him while he was here.

And yet the man with the gun chased him.

"Get back here, kid!" shouted the man as he stumbled after him, quickly strapping the rile over his back. "You're gonna get hurt!"

Sprinting through the trees at speeds that would be remarkable for someone his age, Harry wanted so badly to turn into a wolf and hide, or at least use his more heighten sense of smell and sound to guide him back home. But the man could still see him and was keeping up with him rather well unfortunately, and he wasn't allowed to show off his ability to change. So the only for Harry to do was run and hope he lost the man.

But just as he thought that, the ground came speed towards him, and all Harry could do was throw out his hands and grunt as they slipped through mud, rocks, and twigs. He used one of Uncle Fenrir's favorite curse words as he tried to scramble up, but fell forward again with a cry of pain as his left ankle throbbed. He glanced back and saw it was caught on a protruding root, which must have also caused his fall.

The strangers footsteps grew closer, and Harry managed to place his back against a tree before the man came into view again, coming to a quick stop once he saw him. "What do you think you're doing, kid?" he practically growled. "You're gonna get us killed! There's wolves and who knows what else out here!"

"Leave me alone," Harry finally spoke loudly over the rain. "Go away."

"Listen kid, I can just leave you all alone out here -" the man said as he stepped forward, hand outstretched towards him. His rifle glinted again.

"I said LEAVE ME ALONE!" howled Harry as he held up his hands in defense. And a wave of energy rushed through him before a small blast of red light burst from his hands and hit the man square in the chest, forcing him back into a tree which he hit with a grunt and a groan.

Shocked at what just happened, Harry brought his hands down and started at them. Was that his magic trying to defend him? He'd never really used before, save to change into his wolf form.

"What the hell was that?" snarled the man, no longer trying to be friendly or helpful as he drew his rile, causing Harry to flinch away from the gun was pointed right at him. "What kind of fucking freak are you?"

"I'm not a freak," said the frightened boy with a determination in his voice, curling his hands into fist and gathering up his magic to change into his wolf form. "I'm Harry."

As the man quickly become confused, Harry heard the soft rustle of leaves that came before something burst into the area again. All the stranger saw was a dark blur before he was knocked to the muddy ground with a snarl, and the gun in his hands was knocked away, hitting the ground and going off with a 'bang'.

Harry flinched again even as the bullet went zipping through the trees on the other side of the clearing. The man shook his head once to clear his head from the blow it received from hitting the ground, and his high pitched scream filled the air as he realized what had just tackled him.

Large paws resting on his chest, Fenrir snarled, showing off large and impressive teeth that made the man scream again. He puffed a white blast of his breathe into the strangers, causing him to freeze while the wolf swiveled his head towards Harry, his eyes asking what his mouth couldn't at the moment.

'Are you alright?'

Nodding quickly, Harry said loud and clear, "I'm fine."

Satisfied with the answer for now, Fenrir turned back to the man. He gave something resembling a smirk before he growled and snapped his teeth near the strangers neck, which caused him to flinch violently. But instead of latching onto flesh, the werewolf stepped off him and continued to growl, now circling near Harry in a clear sign of protection.

Scrambling up, the man was ready to make a run for it when he saw that the rifle was laying in the mud just a few feet away from him, which he could probably grab and defend himself with if he lunged towards it. But before he even could get an inch closer to it, Fenrir growled and moved towards him, as if say, 'Don't even try it'.

So with another gulp, the man ran screaming out the area, blabbering on about wolves and freaks as he went towards the edge of the forest.

Waiting until the screams and the man were far away, Fenrir let his head fall back and gave a long mournful note - a call to someone that Harry couldn't understand while being human - before he changed back into his own human form. He grabbed a pair of pants that was tied to one of his backs legs with a length of black cord, something the members of the Estriatus clan never bothered to do. "What the hell were you thinking, wiz-kid, running of like that?" said Fenrir angrily over the rain as he shrugged on the pants, which did little to protect him from the rain. "Your mom is worried sick about you! Even asked me to help look for you."

Emerald eyes glanced down at the ground in shame, because Harry knew how much Elysia hated to ask his adopted uncle for help, and it only made him feel worse. "I'm sorry," he whispered, shivering as he finally started feeling the cold. "I just..."

With a sigh, Fenrir ran his fingers through his heavy hair. "Look, Harry, I don't why you ran. If someone asked me a few years ago, I would truthfully say that I didn't give a flying rats arse. But hell, I do now, just like I care for you. And you need to sort out whatever just happened between you and Elysia. She does love you, you know."

Nodding slowly in agreement, Harry shivered again, though he actually was starting to feel a little warm. He didn't have time to think about that though as another wolf crashed into the clearing. He barely even had time to blink before humans arms were wrapped around him, partially shielding him from the wind and rain. "Harry, Harry, Harry," mumbled Elysia as she pressed multiple kisses on the top of his damp head. "I was so worried about you, my cub."

"Mom," sobbed Harry as he flung his arms around her neck and buried his face in her bare shoulder. "I'm sorry - I'm so sorry! I-I didn't mean it, mom."

"Ssh, ssh." Elysia soothingly stoked his hair. "Its alright, I'm just glad you're safe." She pulled back and looked him over with a look of concern. "Why did you run off like that, cub? You had me and Fenrir worried sick looking around for you."

"I-I was just so angry," admitted Harry in a whisper. "No one is gonna care when I leave, or want me back." He sniffled and rubbed his eyes with the balled up hands. "And I-I worked so hard to make them like me... But they're never gonna cause I'm not a real werewolf, even if I do get changed."

"..." After a long moment of staring at her cub, Elysia gently took one of his hands and pressed it against hers, so that the palms were flushed together. His hand was so much smaller then hers, and not nearly as calloused. "When we are like this, we look exactly the same," she explained gently. "Both human. Both with ten fingers and ten toes." She lifted her other hand and tapped gently what she went on to name. "And a pair of eyes, and a nose, and ears and a mouth. There's nothing that different from us." She intertwined her fingers with his. "And when we change into our wolf forms, we're still the same."

"It doesn't matter that your change is done with magic while mine was a gift. We look the same." Finally, Elysia pressed their hands against his chest, right over his heart. "And even when we are in separate forms, our hearts still beat the same."

"What I'm trying to say, Harry, is that no matter how different we look, or how different our lives were, we are still the same, with nothing changed since the day I found you save that I love you more then anything else now. And that's all that should matters. It doesn't matter if the clan will be glad if you're gone, or doesn't want you back. I want you back. Fenrir wants you back. Even Morgan and Arianna will want you to come back. We want you to come back and tell us everything you learned at Hogwarts, and about the friends you are sure to make, and all the adventures I'm sure you'll get into. That is our opinion, cub, and that is the only opinion you should listen to besides your own."

"But, I also think once the clan sees what you can do, what you can do with your gift, they'll get over the fact that you weren't born exactly the same as us. You can do things that we can now and more, never mind if your changed or not. You, my little cub, are more special then all of them combined."

Harry listened to his mother with wide eyes. "You-you're not mad at me, then," he finally said.

Chuckling, Elysia shook her head. "No, cub, I'm not mad. Though I am a little sad that you didn't take to me about this before. You know that you can tell me anything, right?"

"Uh huh," Harry nodded before he sneezed violently, shivering again. "Sorry," he whispered.

"Wha -" Elysia pressed her free hand to Harry's forehead, and her own eyes went wide as she cursed. "Mother Moon, you're burning up!" She turned to Fenrir, who had only been listening with half an ear. "We've got to get him back to Arianna, now."

"Its gonna take twice as long though if we run like this," said Fenrir as he gestured to their human bodies while stripping off his pants. "But I don't think its safe for him to change or run."

"Damn - Harry, can you cling to my back until we get back to camp?" Elysia asked Harry, who shivers were starting to get worse.

"Yeah, Mum," said Harry with a rattle of his teeth, as if he was just starting to realize how cold it was. "I think so."

"I'll watch over him just in case," said Fenrir with a grunt as he strapped the folded pants to his leg before he shifted. Elysia changed as well a moment later, and with a few nudges from his mother, Harry climbed onto his mothers back, grabbing handfuls of fur and holding on tight. He had just laid his head down when both the wolves sprinted forward, heading towards home as quickly as possible.

His home.

"He'll be alright after a day or two of rest." Tsking, Arianna looked down at Harry, who felt like he was freezing despite the fact that he was covered in furs and his skin apparently was blazing. "That was a stupid thing to do, Harry, stay out in the rain like that. You should have come home when it started getting heavy like that, instead of getting such a bad fever as you did."

"Sorry," mumbled Harry, his cheeks turning red as the elderly woman continued chastised him. It didn't help that her apprentice and his best friend, Morgan, was wiping his forehead with a wet cloth and looking - not concerned - but amused. Probably because she was the one to usually get in trouble instead of him.

"Do you understand what I'm saying, young man?" said Arianna sharply.

"Yes, Elder," Harry answered with a a series of coughs.

That seemed to soften up Arianna a bit, and she turned to her great-granddaughter. "Watch over him while I talk with Elysia. Make sure he drinks the potion as well."

"Yes, Grandmama," nodded Morgan. The moment they were alone, the girl looked down at Harry and grinned. "Well, that was stupid, wasn't it?"

"Shut up," groaned Harry as he turned to his side and looked towards the wall, cheeks burning even brighter. "Can't you be nice to a sick guy?"

"Nope," said Morgan cheerfully. She was silently for a long moment before she crawled over to his side, so she was in his vision again. Harry blinked as she tilted her head and asked seriously, "Are you alright, Harry? Its not like you to just... run off like that."

"... Would you miss me, Mo?" asked Harry finally, using the nickname that she might hit him for. "I mean, if I went away..."

"You mean... if you want to that school?" When Harry nodded, Morgan snorted and said, "Of course I would! Why would you ask such a stupid question? I'm gonna miss you a lot!"

Smiling, Harry buried himself into the covers. "No reason."

Morgan rolling her eyes was practically deafening before she held out a cup. "Drink this," she said, the purplish blue liquid swishing inside it. "Its bring down your fever."

Thanking her with a nod, Harry gulped it down and curled back into the blankets. A moment later, Morgan silently crawled under the blankets and snuggled against him, resting her forehead against him. It was something they used to do when they were younger, but Morgan insisted they were too old to do it anymore. So Harry smiled again before closing his eyes, his heightened senses taking in his best friends steady heartbeat and the smell of herbs.

How was he ever going to make it at Hogwarts without his best friend...

"He's gonna be alright, now. So stop your blubbering."

Sniffling, Elysia glared at Fenrir. "I am not blubbering," she snapped. "I'm fine. Harry's fine. We're fine."

"Uh huh," Fenrir said with a roll of his eyes. "That's why your cheeks are all wet."

Glaring at him again, Elysia quickly wiped away the tears that had rolled down her cheeks. "Why are you still doing here, anyway? Shouldn't you go back to your own clan?"

"They can last a few more hours without me," shrugged Fenrir. "Sides, I've got to make sure your not gonna break down again, girly."

"I thought you broke that stupid habit of calling me that," growled Elysia as she tried to shove Fenrir away, though he only moved a little before falling back into place with a chuckle. Sometimes it was hard to remember that the male werewolf was anywhere from thirty to fifty years old, as he acted like a big child sometimes. He had yet to reveal his age to anyone, even to Harry who begged and begged to know.

"You'll always be girly to me," said Fenrir with a grin. "Since the day I first saw you."

"Six years is a long time for a nickname," grumbled Elysia, crossing her arms angrily.

"Not then," said Fenrir, waving that off to Elysia's surprise. "More like twenty five, twenty six years ago. When your parents brought you to meet the Clans and presented you as their new Female Alpha of Estriatus."

"You were there?" asked Elysia with shock. She couldn't remember that day, since she was only a few months old at the time, but to think he had been there, seen her when she was still weak and small. "How old are you?"

Ignoring that question, Fenrir grunted. "You were really tiny, so small some of the others weren't even sure that you'd make through your first seasons. So I went over to you and looked you over. You took one look at me with your little golden eyes, cooed, and then bam! - you punched me right in the nose."

Snorting as she tried to hold back her laugh, Elysia gave Fenrir an apologetic look. "I punched you in the - Mother Moon I'm so sor - no, you know what, bugger it, I'm not even sorry. Even back then I knew that I didn't like you."

Giving his own snort, Fenrir went back to his story. "Everyone else just laughed, even your parents. But I pointed to you and said, "This little girly is gonna be a force to be reckoned with someday, I guarantee it." And looks like I was right too. Even now, you're still a giant brat -"

'Hoot!'

Both werewolves looked up to see a small brown owl circling above him, a letter in its beak. Once it noticed it got their attention, it dropped the note right in Elysia's lap before flying off, probably very eager to get away from them thanks to their smell.

Picking it up, Elysia frowned when she saw who it was from. "Dumbledore," she announced to a curious Fenrir. "Wonder what he wants."

"Whatever it is, it can't be good," said Fenrir with a grunt.

"What do you mean?" asked Elysia, her frowning getting deeper. When Fenrir didn't answer right away, she leaned forward and sniffed him, even though she knew it wasn't polite to do without permission. "You don't trust him? Why?"

"Reasons," answered Fenrir simply. When Elysia continued to stare at him, he sighed and went on to say, "Lets just say I know whats behind the grandfather mask of his. Just open the letter and find out what he wants."

Even though she wanted to push him farther, Elysia nodded and opened the letter, scanning it over as quickly as possible. "Dumbledore it coming to visit in a few days before Harry is to leave," she announced a few moments later. "To finish the paperwork for Lupin's guardianship to him."

"You didn't tell him that you don't want Lupin as Harry's guardian?" said Fenrir with a raised eyebrow.

"How could I? Besides, he seemed so insistent... I'll just have to tell him when he gets here," said Elysia with a firm nod. "We'll just have to pick someone else." If at all possible, she wasn't going to let that poison drinker take care of her cub.

"Mm."

"... Fenrir?"

"Yeah?"

"How old are you, really?" asked Elysia.

"... Fifty-five," grunted Fenrir finally. "There, happy? I'm an old man."

"Well, you certainly are... mature," said Elysia, which Fenrir snorted at. "But no, not that old. And you certainly don't look it. Why don't you tell anyone though?"

"Hell, it ain't gonna gain me any points with the ladies," rumbled Fenrir. "'Besides, most werewolves mated young, so its not like there are any women beggin' for my attention."

"Not even in your clan?" Elysia said with a blink.

"Most of my clan members were once humans, Muggles, and in their world they usually... err... mate with those closer to their own age," explained Fenrir with a shrug. "Those that were wizards like usually only stay long enough to learn how to control themselves before leaving. And besides, not one of them can I consider my equal yet."

"Well... what about Annika?" Elysia said, naming one of the younger females who hadn't mated yet. "She'll be of age towards the end of the season or so, and she's a good huntress."

"Nah, she hasn't like me since I beat her in that hunt a few months back," said Fenrir with a shake of his head.

"Ursala, the new beta of -"

"She hates me too."

"Hazel?"

"Hates me."

"Gemma?"

"Same."

"Well, what about..."

The two werewolves continued on as they waited for news on Harry, with Elysia continuing to name potential mates while Fenrir shot everyone of them down without hesitation. Neither one of them noticed how their smiles continued to grow as they bantered, or how they seemed to forget how much they hated each other sometimes...