'Where am I?'

Blackie's voice echoed through the darkness.

"Who is that?"

Shelby's, too.

It really smells of metal and grease. And oil.

None of them, except perhaps for Inky, knew what that kind of "oil" is.

But then, a whirring sound. Eight octagonal, "flowery", bladed openings poured in some kind of light.

And the sound of Human cheers. And of music.

Are "they" even "Human"? Or not?

' By the First Mother, I am not dead? And whence come this imperfect clamour? '

(mutterings) "I don't even know why in Queen Lauren's name I am devoured by this monster, and yet I am not finished ... "

" ... And now, we host our weekly night show, 'Cannonball!'"

Cheers rang out through the dim studio, now lit by orange and pink spotlights. A roar of cackling laughter emerge from a bearded man in a blue military uniform.

Mr. Lysander (or Mr. Lýsandros), wearing a blue and white faded zoot suit, was standing up, and, holding his mike, he waved at the audience.

" And I shall thank Dr. Avtómatos, the Initiator of the Scheme, and Captain of the Hesperidion, for his successful methods in extracting the Eight Horses from seven separate universes through space and time. "

The brunette scientist, in a glass-blue laboratory coat and black round glasses, stood up and bowed to receive his applause. He then sat down.

The man in the blue military uniform stood up, cleared his throat, and said, "Let us all stand up, to sing the Anthem of Êmốn Galaxiakế Aftokratoría. "

As soon as never, a mournful and angry brass-band, military tune blared through the microphones and speakers (in F minor, "Aeolian/Persian/Byzantine" scale), while the Eight Horses were unceremonially pulled up into the studio, in black, inedible* cages.

" O Galactic Empire,
thou art blessed by Prốtos the Creator.

O Symbol of Valor,
protected from the Outer Horrors.

O Dominant of the Universes,
thou conquered and vanquished them as thou likest.

Our Galactic Empire,
thou, and we, hath prevailed!

Let the Void, the Outer Nothingness,
scream in pain, as we deal justly!

Let the other worlds, all other galaxies,
all other Universes, all Everything;

Fear us, suffer,
Die and writhe away;

While we burn everything, administer
Justice to all our poppets!

As we did to our enemies, and towards our subjects;
Since thirteen trillion years, let us do it for ever!

May our horrors last long, may it strike into the hearts
Of our worthless tools, for ten thousand years;

For ten thousand years!
For ten thousand years!

For ten million years!
And ten billion more!"

Inky: "This sucks."

The elderly figure in the military uniform rose up again, and said:

"Let us rise, again, for the Royal Anthem, the Battle Hymn of Êmốn Galaxiakế Aftokratoría."

The "Humans" then stood up, putting their smooth hands on their hearts.

The music blared again, this time for a horrible 34 minutes filled with hatefully magnificent music.

Inky: "Let go of me, Humans, in the name of Princess Celestia and her Queen Mother Lauren Faust! I demand to return to my world!"

He then slammed himself towards the cage bars, multiple times, until an annoyed technician electrocuted him so badly, his sappy screams almost punctuating the Royal Anthem/Battle Hymn. Then, the poor pony collapsed in his cage, his armor starting to drip with molten metal.

Kynódontos was also screaming angrily at the same time, much to only the other Horses' shock. He was also electrocuted, his screams adding to the absurdity of the Anthem/Hymn's nonsense. He, too, collapsed afterwards.

In case if any other of these Horses would ever dare say any objections, the Other Six were sprayed with a green cloud. Its fungal scent caused them to faint, and sleep for two pathetic hours. The collapsed two were next.

(After the Anthem/Hymn's two-or-three-minutes of ear-digging pain, "The Battle of the Evening"; this one was against the tribal Ochlói. Another usual, crowd-rousing victory, followed by a lot of wild cheering from the now-crazy audience. But none of the drugged Eight Horses could ever mind, deepened in their harrowing sleep ... )

(And after that, "Useless Evening Highlights", where paper cut-outs of horses and humanoid warriors (powered by shoddy robotic skeletons) fight and kill each other. The already-insane crowd roared and stamped about at this foul display, including the (mad-)man in the blue military uniform, who bellowed a deep brassy laugh. It was followed by clumsily-controlled "animatronics" (little more than similarly-designed humanoid androids, this time without weapons), who sometimes trip over the sparking, disembodied wrecks of their defeated victims. The madman, who announced himself as the Emperor, called upon his delusional audience for volunteers to "massacre" the "Freaks". Hundreds of alien arms shot up, but only tens or dozens were allowed. The frenzied chosen ones then were given bayoneted rifles, to hack and slash the Freaks, stab and behead them, and crush their sorry remains, if so these "Chosen" wished. These lunatics were then given the approval of the crowd (regardless of the number of kills), and they all gleefully accepted the offer to take up Imperial military service, leaving the Studio to be conscripted into some base somewhere.

But in the midst of all this folly, the Eight Horses were fast asleep, their lower minds not yet ruined by the dreary mind-control ... )

(After a "toilet break", where all Eight Horses were escorted, under guard, to a clean, decent-looking room where they "do their business", alone, one by one (except for Kynódontos, who was escorted into the room with robotic guards, and lured with fingers, and toes, cut off from very-delinquent prisoners) ... )

' By the First Mother, whence am I ... ? ' moaned a voice in the deep, oily darkness.

'"First Mother?"'

' She is from which all life sprouted forth, from her words and lips. '

"You mean, Queen Mother Lauren Faust, Creator of All Life, Ruler of All?", responded a younger, Human-sounding voice. "I guess I'm not alone ... "

' Who are you? You sound like a young Yahoo colt, do you? "

"My name is Inky Tatters, a Sergeant of the Armed Forces of the Solar Empire of Equestria. And I am not a colt, but a stallion-to-be! By the way ... what is a 'Yahoo'?"

' A "Yahoo" is a monstrous being (even more bigger, and hairier, than a Luhimuh rat) with much hair, and savagery extremely disgusting for a Houyhnhnnm like you. "Yahoo" itself is derived from the word for "evil" or "bad". '

"'Yahoo'? It sounds like a cheer, for a name for such a huge rat with the 'savagery of a monster', if that's what you're saying. May I wish to know what exactly does a 'Yahoo' look like, somepony?"

(' "Somepony"? What in Houyhnhnnm Yrhohorhrfff is this Houyhnhnnm meaning? ')

(*clears throat*) ' A "Yahoo" looks like Gyuhlhlvrrrfff of Ingulaunty, or, for your foalish ears, "Gyu-hli-hi-vurr", but without the red and white coat he wears on his back and body, pale skin, and a brightly-coloured mane. Nor do the Yahoos have his same manners, nor are they ever as cultured as he . (In his terms, Yahoos are called "Humans" ) . '

Inky Tatters would try to restrain his anger by now, as he tries to figure out on who is this "Gyuhlhlvrrrfff" Also, however distracting it may be, the thought of "Humans" sounds fascinating ...

"That's it! 'Gulliver'! The legendary Human who visited the legendary Southern Realm in folklore!"

' But this "Gal-li-vurr" you speak of is real, who visited our lands a hundred and four years ago! '

"So the aliens may have plucked you out of your fairytale? (If you don't get it, it's a story told to ponies - er ... "Hwee-nums" ... that was set on times 'long ago' .)"

' But, stallion, my world is real! What manner of twisted reality is THIS ? ! '

"Err ... alien magic?"

' I do not believe in this Hhnm Yahoo ! '

"What?"

' "Foolishness of a servant', my friend! Are you even a Houyhnhnnm? ! '

"In one way, yes. But I'm shorter. And more colorful."

' What is your colour, Houyhnhnnm colt ? '

"White, except my black mane and tail. My eyes are blue. AND STOP CALLING ME A 'COLT', BY CELESTIA!"

' But you sound like an older one, Sir Tet-turr-surr. And who is this "Se-le-surr-ti-ah" of yours ? '

"The Princess of my homeland, one of Queen Lauren's Two Daughters, Progeny of Empress Mother Bonnie Zacherle. (enthusiastic smugface) And do you worship our Queen Lauren, too? Hmmm?"

' No. I do not know on what is a 'Queen' or a 'Lauren'. I pray to the First Mother . '

" (upset, and deseprate) Whoever-you-are, I personally believe that the First Mother you speak of is her! She is Queen Lauren, who created even your world as well! Why don't you accept her ways of harmony, love, tolerance, and friendship? (I know that all sounds cliché, or 'used too much', but that's how we are like.) "

' I am still unconvinced, colt. '

"BY QUEEN LAUREN, WHY ARE YOU STILL IGNORANT OF FRIENDSHIP?! WHY, WHY, WHY!?"

It was loud enough for the Other Six Horses (who woke up, frightened by the Human-like screamings), and some of the guards, to hear. He then rained a barrage of nasty replies at this "doubting colt of a parasprite, or Changeling spawn adopted by Discord." ' Ignorant Yahoo-minded colt, O well , ' was the Houyhnhnnm's only untroubled, hidden reply, as he shrugged off further alien-sounding death threats from the restless monster's mouth.

"By Lauren, I wish that you will be taken by Krastos the Glue-Maker to Hay –"

Sirens wailed. The sixty-eight red lights glared ("... symbolising the Hôrai of a local Êméra," continued a tender male voice from a speaker above), revealing more of this Basement. Then only had the white pony shut up, as he agonised and cursed some more.

Blackie: "Wha-wha-whaaa-ha-ha-hat?!"

Shelby: "Aargh! (trembles, runs, and electrocutes himself by the cage bars, screaming)"

The red lights may have denied his powers, his ability to use his DNA to ponify his enemies from his eyes, away, and with it, his strength.

They also revealed that the Eight Horses were still in their black cages, each one resting on a metallic platform. Some were using whatever strength they had to bash through the cage bars, only to be electrocuted and (in small doses) sprayed with "Hýpnos-aério", giving them a drowsy feeling afterwards.

Then, sixty-four guards, all clad in black fatigues and riot-helmets, rushed into the room. The sight of them shook into fear the other Horses, save for Kynódontos (who was more aroused at the smell of Human meat, even humanoids as well) and a unicorn (who has a strong, natural hatred of Humans).

But they only found the Eight Horses, trembling, wandering, and fidgeting in their cages. Except for Kynódontos, who is baring his equine jaws, snarling for Human flesh to devour.

"Bring them food. It was already sixteen hours since they were put asleep. The night is not yet finished, at least in our world ... "

And so they went off, slamming ten [iron] doors, one by three, and one.

The red lights, and the electric barrier on the bars of the cages, were shut down. This brief episode of darkness was dispelled by six electric bars of light overhead.

' O, I see other Houyhnhnnms around me as well . Greetings, fellow Houyhnhnnms, erudite perfections of Nature ! '

'Hm, is other Horse stallion call me?'

A black equine shape, three cages away on the Houyhnhnnm's right, stood still, and listened to its neighs. And a darkened dun lump of equine fur stood still, and neighed in response.

' Who art thou, fellow Houyhnhnnm ? '

'I is Blackie.'

( Why is my fellow Houyhnhnnm speaking like a half-Yahoo ? )

'I is Shelby, Humans is call me.'

'You is want talk to me? I is no love lonely. Lonely is make Monster come and eat me.'

'MONSTER?! MONSTER! AAARGH!' (*bashes cage and runs around, bucks away*)

' Blek-ki , Sel-bi-hi-hi , or whoever you are, there are no Monsters lurking about in this foul, fetid Yahoo chamber ! '

' And, Sel-bi-hi-hi, stop frolicking and panicking about . '

Shelby stood still.

'Hwat is "Yahoo"?'

' A Human. A more ugly, disgusting Human. Or any sort of evil."

'But some Human is good Human: not all Human is bad. What is you?'

'Only good Human is Mama Natalie!'

' A Houyhnhnnm . I know some good Yahoos; one is Gyuhlhlvrrrfff . '

'Hwat is that?'

' A good Human . '

'Hwere is he find?'

' He is already dead . Passed on to his First Mother . '

'Hwat is "First Mother"?'

' The Origin of Life, and the Purpose of Life . '

But Blackie does not know all of this "Origin and Purpose" stuff.

'Wi-nim! Wi-nim!"

' That is " Houy-hn-hn-nm " to you, colt . '

'What is name is you?'

' My name is " Burr-Hurr-Hurr" . And I am none of your petty business, fat colt . '

(ponders) 'What is "business"?'

(*groans*)

And a metallic door opened, bringing with it the smell of delicious oats, grasses, and wheat, and carrots, and apples, from a sun-yellow light.

All Six Horses (except Inky and Kynó) were roused by the smell, as seven men in yellow [hazmat] suits walked in with yellow, mellow pails of food.

Each man left his pail inside its respective cage, and walked away.

' Ooh . Food . '

All the Horses ate on with joy.

But then, a man with a red [hazmat] suit and a red pail walked in.

He emerged from another door, radiating with red light and some kind of mist below.

He took to Kynó a bucket of chopped finger-and-toe-nails. Deep within, there is some rabbit meat.

Kynó happily ate his new meal.

The red man then left.

All the doors slammed shut.

-WHIRR-

Blackie: 'What is that?'

Note: The Avtokratorian language and alphabet resemble the Earth-language of Greek, but with many variations (making it sound like a horrific dialect of Ancient Greek). For instance, "ê" and "ô" correspond to "eta" and "o-mega", respectively.