Need To Be Next To You
By: aspdstra
RATING: T
PAIRING: T/R
SUMMARY: Sequel to "Dare You To Move" and "Paper Cup"; With the end of Sophomore year right around the corner, Rory has some decisions to make.
DISCLAIMER: No. I wouldn't even go there. So don't you.
A/N: Can't believe I'm actually updating this fic series, can you? Don't worry, neither can I! Hi all, it's been some years and I've been rather busy with all the things of life but I think my muse has finally come around to the idea that I'm a writer and has stopped torturing me. Hopefully there is still interest in this series because I would love to continue writing it and see where that takes us.
As a sidenote and in rereading lots of Trory fics, including my own, I've been going down a shame spiral over the ridiculous discrepancies with the spelling of Tristan's last name. I've decided I'm going with IMDb on this one. It doesn't look like it's spelled right but I digress.
Also an FYI – I've revised some things in Vol. 1 (DYTM and Paper Cup) so feel free to check out those changes. It'll make the next parts and volumes make a lot more sense. Happy reading!
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CHAPTER 1
Monday morning arrived at a surprisingly alarming speed, considering how anxious Rory had been about trying to make time go quicker over the remainder of the weekend while being completely unprepared for what awaited her at the same time. Yet another episode of The Couch Chronicles, as she was calling it to herself, had come and gone and all she had to say for herself was she couldn't really help it. Whenever Tristan Dugray was in her company, she was completely powerless to do anything but indulge in her primal need to be as close to him as humanly possible. Of course she knew there was more to it than her body instantly responding to him with or without her permission. There were very real feelings that accompanied all the other sensations Tristan evoked from her, real feelings that she couldn't stop herself from comparing to whatever feelings she had for Dean. Yes, Dean was her first real boyfriend. Yes, she had emotional ties to him that kept her from moving on altogether. Even still, she couldn't ignore the position Tristan now had in her life, at least not anymore. Telling Dean she needed a break had been straightforward enough but trying to find the words to tell Tristan how she felt was another thing entirely. She hadn't really given him an answer as to what she planned to do anymore than she had Dean, but she and Tristan both deserved to understand that connection and explore what it really meant, perhaps at the expense of something that had always made her feel safe and comfortable. Maybe being safe and comfortable just wasn't enough anymore.
The real issue at hand presently was that Rory needed to stop making it so obvious that she wasn't paying attention to the mug of coffee in her hand, or her mother currently engaged in her normal one-woman show presentation, this time detailing all the colorful happenings from the Newman movie weekend. Look sharp, Gilmore. You're going soft.
"…I mean, it's true that half the time Paul needed a shower and some clean clothes, maybe even no clothes would've been better, but then again when is no clothes not automatically better, you just don't get any tastier than that man really. Except if we're talking about Streetcar Brando or Rebel Dean, then that launches a whole new discussion that neither you nor I am prepared for," Lorelai finished ranting and paused for breath.
"How are you so awake right now?"
"Oh what're you talking about, I'm always like this."
"Not at 7:00 in the morning you're not," Rory corrected.
"Well, you have two Starbucks espresso shots, two cups of coffee and three apple Danishes and tell me how charged you feel."
Rory's face took an air of concern, and she held her mug poised in mid-air.
"What?" Lorelai demanded with encroaching paranoia.
"You said the 's' word…"
"Failed sister show of The L Word? There's no telling what the 's' stands for."
"You know what I meant."
"Mmm ehhh nope you're losing me."
"Mom, I heard you. You said…Starbucks," Rory whispered, as if there was a certain backwards-cap-wearing diner owner around who could hear the blasphemy.
"Oh, well...what Luke doesn't know won't kill him. I only finished what was leftover from our goodie package that, shock and awe, your grandmother made for us. Couldn't let good caffeine go to waste."
"Grandma made you a 'goodie package'?"
"I know, I was skeptical at first, but everything was edible and it wasn't poisoned. Wait. I don't know that for sure…"
"Oh please."
"Oh please what? I don't!"
"It's not poisoned, Mom. Grandma wouldn't do that. You're being ridiculous."
"You didn't grow up with her, Missy, you don't know her diabolical ways and I do. The carefully disposed bodies of maids past could completely corroborate my story. Of course I never found them myself but suspicions remain."
Rory rolled her eyes, returning to her coffee mug like it might provide her with some valuable insight.
"Somebody's feeling the urge to brood today," Lorelai observed after a bit of silence.
"Who, me?"
"Well I mean, during a hot actor anecdote you were really spacey and unfocused. Now the coffee's getting a nasty ogle. All causes for concern."
She'd been found out. Was there no hiding things from this woman? "I'm just…dealing with some things right now."
Lorelai's nose wrinkled knowingly. "Some things, huh? What's his name and what'd he do to you?"
"Mom! Thanks for the vote of confidence. Since when have all my problems been boy problems?"
"I know this might come as a truly colossal shock to you but you're my daughter, Rory, and as such you are highly susceptible to issues with the male sex. Maybe on a lower scale but the point stands. Now just be honest with your mommy, she's on your side and will probably understand whatever it is you're going through. Kind of a 'been there, done that' thing we parents are so good at throwing in the face of youth today."
Relenting with a sigh, Rory decided it would be easier to just be upfront and pressed on with the confession. "Well. Things with me and Tristan are kind of getting…more than friendly."
"Please tell me you used protection," Lorelai begged, though her face showed no evidence of it being a request.
"No! Oh no, no no no nothing like that. I mean not exactly. Just…more."
Obviously relaxing, Lorelai put down her umpteenth mug of coffee and leaned in. "You've kissed him, haven't you?"
"W—"
"More than once?"
"D—"
"Lots of times, I figured. You like this boy, yes?"
"I—"
"Okay why did I even ask that, I know the answer to that question, you walk around talking about how much he infuriates you and gets on your nerves. Of course you like him, that's classic liking behavior. What do you want to do about it?"
Rory never had a chance to even defend herself, but then, the question would obviously be 'against what?' The truth of the matter was that her mom was right. Sinking into her chair, she felt very shy and vulnerable all of a sudden.
"I don't know."
"Look. I know you already talked to Dean and things are sort of on the back burner with you guys right now, which is probably for the best. You need some space there. And as far as Tristan goes...I've seen that boy so really your problems haven't even started yet, and I mean that in a good way."
It was impossible for Rory's face not to flush then. Her mom really could stop being right any time. Just stop it.
Grinning and rising from her chair, Lorelai kissed her daughter on the forehead and moved to the dishwasher with her empty cup. "For now, my advice to you, dearest of my offspring, and really only of my offspring, is to just talk to Tristan about it. What you're thinking, how you're feeling. He deserves to know all that stuff. And honestly there's not one person on earth that has any idea what's really supposed to happen between you two but you two. And maybe Bowie and God. Oh! I gotta run. Have a good day sweetie, okay? I love you."
That fast, the elder Gilmore busily toddled toward the foyer in a flash of dark hair before her daughter even had a chance to digest her mother's wisdom.
"Wait, you don't have to be at work for another half-hour," Rory called after her.
"I know, but I still need to stop at Luke's before I head over there."
"Weren't you just there earlier before I even got up? How could you possibly need more coffee already?"
"Don't talk back to me, child, I brought you in this world and I'll take you out! Leaving the jeep for you, hon. See you after school!"
Before she got another word in, Rory heard the front door slam shut. All that was left for her to do was sigh and suck it up. It was nerve steeling time and she still had to get through a whole day of smirking — er, school.
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This felt weird. Walking into Chilton, making it down the hall and arriving at her locker with not one Tristan encounter to her name was a bit much to handle all at once. Correction: this was just plain wrong. Especially after what had happened between them a couple days before, with all the making out and heavy petting on her couch, and especially weeks earlier when he had...no she shouldn't think about that right now, she needed to be able to focus in class today. Things with her and Tristan were all out of order. It made absolutely no sense and all the sense in the world at the same time. But ultimately all that mattered was the fact that Tristan not panting at her heels the minute she stepped onto the premises was enough to make her batty. Like she felt cheated or something. How dare he just ignore her like that with no explanation or valid motive? Her prestigious brat award speech was firmly in the works, in case anyone was curious
After she'd stuffed all books necessary into her backpack, she stalked down the hallway and rounded the corner to his locker where she found him, leaning and talking with some mindless idiots who were definitely less important than she was at that moment. Or just less important period. Brat award.
Of course, he noticed her presence immediately and focused all his attentions on her with a smirk. "Hey there, pretty girl."
She couldn't figure out what made her more incensed — the fact that he didn't show up at her locker that morning, that he'd just blown off his retreating 'friends' without so much as a goodbye or see you later, or that he could almost completely eradicate any trace of anger from her body with flattery and a simple hitch of the corner of his mouth.
"Y — you didn't come say hi to me. I mean. You weren't waiting." Rory had wanted it to come out firm and pissed off, but it just ended up sounding pouty and pathetic. Brat award.
"Was I supposed to be?"
Oh, did he really have the audacity to ask that question, and using a tone? Huffing for a response, she felt her ears and cheeks reddening. Brat award. "Well yeah, and you weren't."
"And you're mad about that."
"No."
"No? You sure?"
"I'm —"
"You seem kinda mad."
"Tristan —"
"Maybe just a little."
"...God, fine. Maybe."
He chuckled at the glare he had received, pocketing his hands. "It's okay, Rory, I want you to be mad."
Her eyes narrowed, not amused. "What?"
"See here's the thing. We seem to have something of a routine going on in this place, and if I didn't do what I normally do, which is skulk around your locker waiting for you to notice me, then maybe you would notice I wasn't doing it. And if you really wanted me to be doing it, then all you would have to do is come over here…" he intentionally stepped closer to her, "…and tell me. And that's exactly what you did. So, like I said, I want you to be mad."
Damn you, Tristan, you will not hover and bedroom-eyes your way out of this, it won't work. Except that it kind of absolutely did work.
"Oh." It was a feeble reply but the only one she could claim right then.
Tristan grinned, reaching to brush a piece of her hair away behind her ear then repocketing his hand. "Believe it or not, girls aren't the only ones who can conduct mock tests for their significant other to pass but more than likely fail. It's a cross-gender tactic."
"I'm just learning so much already," Rory snarked with a reserved smile.
That made her think more deeply about what he said. Was she his 'significant other'? Did he consider her up to that status or was he just using it hypothetically to better explain himself? Hey wait, forget what he considered. Did she want to be considered up to that status? There had to be something between them that she could control. But then again the concept just made her painfully aware that, considering everything they had been through read like her instruction manual on how to make yourself ready and willing at all hours of the day and night, she probably controlled a lot more than she thought.
"There is such a thing as too much brain activity, Mary. Don't go and hurt yourself."
His voice snapping her out of her brief daze, she realized she must have looked too focused, maybe a little intense. For all she knew there could have been smoke coming out of her ears.
"Is that what you think I am? Your significant other, I mean…" The words flew from her mouth before she had a chance to check them or be embarrassed at their boldness.
He wasn't entirely prepared for the direct line of questioning and wondered if he should even try badly to hide the fact or not. His expression no doubt went from slightly panicked to intrigued to resolved in a matter of seconds, but he kept his eyes fixed on her all the same, lips licked and finally curving into another grin. "The possibility is there, yeah."
It was so annoyingly nonchalant, almost evasive. A typical panned Tristan Dugray response. And yet she saw the sincerity buried in his words staring back at her. Whatever he might have said out his mouth, the look he gave her said a lot more. She wouldn't have been surprised if he meant for it to be that way. That probably explained why she acknowledged his annoyingly nonchalant, almost evasive, typical panned Tristan Dugray response by matching his grin with her own.
"But I haven't even been asked out on a proper date yet," she said, obviously as a challenge.
His eyebrows quirked in mock surprise. "You don't say."
"I do say."
"Y'know, if you'll remember, I did try to remedy that a while ago. You didn't seem that into it for some reason."
Her skin flushed again at the memory of the infamous PJ Harvey incident and her subsequently nasty rejection. This was, of course, followed some short time later by The Great Sexual Pseudo-Awakening that started the redirection of their relationship in the first place and frankly still shocked her to this day. More shocking that both scenarios involved the same boy. Very funny, life. Very funny indeed.
"Y'know, if you'll remember, I never got asked then either. I was told. A tell is not an ask."
He chuckled again at her ability to rebound from being obviously affected just moments ago. "Be honest, you would've scoffed harder at the ask than at the tell."
And that quickly he had her floundering again, if only for a second or two. "That was… You were just trying to prove a point by doing it in the first place so it doesn't count. Besides, I wasn't completely aware of your obnoxious charms then. I thought you were underhanded and spoiled and icky."
"Uh huh," he nodded, smirking at her mature word choice. "But you admit now that I'm charming."
Her chin jutted defiantly, betraying the enamored look in her eyes then. "I'm not denying it anymore, let's put it that way."
Had he always had such an adorable pair of dimples? Rory sometimes wondered if Tristan developed certain qualities on purpose just to distract her, though it was more in the realm of things actually possible that she had just never bothered to notice them intently before.
Feeling very watched currently but amused by it all the same, he cleared his throat and attempted to broach a different subject. "I bet Bag Boy will magically have some nights open this week too."
She shouldn't have enjoyed the jealousy in his tone but she just couldn't help it. "I mean, he tends to work a lot but I can always ask him for you. Hoping he's free?"
"Oh, you're funny..."
"I didn't think he would be your type but stranger things have happened when it comes to matters of the heart. Love finds a way."
"No really. I'm doubled over on the inside."
"He may not even want me after he gets to know the real you. Guys are suckers for a pretty blonde."
"I'd be interested to see someone with his brain power figure out how to actually not want you. Doubt it's even a possible thing."
And there he went again, disarming her of her mental faculties and making her blush. She should be annoyed with him at this point for how often it happened but she couldn't bring herself to be snarky when he was actually sincere. It reminded her that, as Lorelai had said, there was more to her and Tristan than just simple attraction.
Rory's impulsive side took over again and she grabbed Tristan by the hand, briefly looking around to make sure all the Chiltonites were still dispersing on their way to class while she rounded a corner to an abandoned row of lockers and tucked both of them out of sight.
"Always with the sweet talk," she murmured, pressed between him and the wall and grinning at his simultaneous abundance and lack of surprise to find them where they were at present.
One of his hands slid away from her waist to cradle her cheek, gingerly lifting her chin as their mouths met once. "Pretty blondes sow to their strengths."