Bakura and Marik Work At A Haunted House
(Alright ladies and gentlemen sense first chapter have Bakura's POV and the second chapter had Ryou's POV, this time it'll be Melvin's POV which I think will fit this chapter quite nicely. This is a shout out to cocobean2010 for being my first reviewer ever and coming up with this idea and another shoutout to my second reviewer LSSJGurl. I'm super freaking bored lately and I kind of just wanted to write something so here you guys are. I do not own the Yu-Gi-Oh characters at all, wish I did but I don't so yeah)
~
"Wait we're working at a haunted house, its not even July yet," Marik exclaimed.
Bakura face palmed at Marik's stupidity,"I think you mean October."
"No I meant July, jeez Fluffy you need to work on your dates."
"Ughhhh."
"Does this involve mass murder," I asked the only person capable of doing anything in this house, Ryou.
Ryou sighed softly,"No this doesn't involve mass murder."
"Okay but can it involve mass murder," I asked innocently
"BLOODY HELL MELVIN NO IT CAN'T INVOLVE MASS BLOODY MURDER!" Ryou shouted.
Everyone in the household quieted down and stared at the small innocent cream puff with a look of shock, you'd think we were a bunch of overweight kids staring at a huge candy pile. I watched with sadness at Mr. Tweetums flopped over, dead from a heart attack at such a shock.
"Don't mind my hikari, he's just pissed off because he can't watch The Young and the Restless," Bakura said, putting on his trademark smirk.
Ryou blushed with embarrassment and made a series of choked noises.
"Okay but can I think about mass murder?" I said to break the silence.
~Nightime
I knew we shouldn't have eaten at Taco Johns before we got here, my stomach gurgling upsetedly, or maybe it was because Bakura was prancing around like a child on Christmas Day, sounds and everything.
"I love you Ryou, I don't know if I told you that but I seriously love you right now, can I hug you?" he rambled on excitedly.
"Okay who the hell spiked Bakura's drink before we got here, I'm looking at you Melvin," Ryou replied while backing away from the suddenly huggy Bakura.
"I wish Fluffy acted like that around me," Marik pouted, staring at Bakura as he hugged some random hobo in sheer glee.
"And I wish I didn't have to call you my hikari, honestly your probably ten pounds heavier with all the make-up you put on your face, plus the spray tan," I said, quite loudly for everyone to hear Marik's secrets...because I just love him that much.
Marik glared at me and opened his mouth to say something before the manager came over.
"Right you must be the next four slaves we hired, I mean bondage slaves, I mean workers," he said.
"Yep that be us, now where are the knives huh huh huh," Bakura asked excitedly," SHOW ME WHERE THE FUCKING KNIVES ARE!"
"Does Bakura want a steak, does Bakura want a steak, yes he does yes he does want the steak," Ryou said, holding up a steak and talking to Bakura like he was a dog...or a cat...or a goldfish...hey don't look at me like that I have seen people talking like that to a nearly tackled Ryou and proceeded in practically choking himself to death on the steak itself.
"Holy ra slow down we need you to be Jack the Ripper," I said concernedly, mostly about our paycheck and if he died where his paycheck will go to and inwardly hoping it wasn't Marik. He still owes me $200 from his last shopping spree. Bakura growled in response while chewing on his steak.
"Alright so follow me to wear your costumes are," the manager said walking away.
Being the person I am...I personally dragged Bakura by the bat wing to where the costumes were in such a painful fashion that I should've been stoned for it, in fact I think I heard a few sniffles coming from the psycho killer.
"I should do that the next time he misbehaves...oh yeah I still got this thing," Ryou said holding up Steve the spray bottle, used on Bakura or even Marik if they misbehave. As for my punishment for misbehaving...is not being able to watch Adventure Time...hey shut the frig up thats a good show.
"OH MY BUGGER NOT STEVE," Bakura shrieked running around.
"Okay now I know someone spiked his drink," Ryou said.
Bakura continued running around until he found all the weapons where he then moaned wistfully. I swear I saw a bulge in his pants...not that I was looking...because I totally want Ryou. That sweet...innocent...creampuff...his screams filling up the whole house in pain and ecstasy...
"Okay porcupine, you get to be Jason," the manager said practically throwing the costume at me and nearly jabbing my eye out with a knife that I could've sworn was real.
"And you, cat boy, stop undressing those knives with your eyes, your Jack the Ripper," the manager said turning to Bakura who was practically drooling at the sight of all the weapons even if they were fake.
"You, princess are going to be Edward Cullen," the manager said facing Marik and chuking a bunch of glitter at him and then facing Ryou,"while you get to be Freddy Cougar."
"Hey can I show my midriff," Marik asked like it was the most important thing in the world next to breathing.
"Sure why the hell not," the manager replied, walking off to help a pair of hobbit looking people...oh that was Yugi.
"Your name is going to be Jessica and we are going to make sweet hatred all night long tonight, just you and me hating each other," Bakura said in a husky voice while rubbing a knife against his face lovingly.
~Now the party begins
Finally, after a few hours, everyone was in a ready position. Marik was covered in glitter and reapplying his reapplied reapplied applied make-up and checking his already fabulous hair. Ryou was nervously staring at his yami and seeing if his claws were working. Bakura was drooling with excitement and psychoticness that I don't think I've seen before. Except if I looked myself in the mirror here and there. After a few minutes a couple of little kids entered our domain...heh heh I like that...our domain...heh...ehhh you had to be there I guess. Marik was up first...
"Frig off or I'll arrange Fluffy and I to rearrange your sock drawer or something," Marik exclaimed. A little boy freaked out and took out a can of pepper spray, effectively making Marik scream his friggin head off. Then it was Bakura's turn...
"ITS RAPING TIME, I MEAN DYING TIME RAAARGHHH,"Bakura screamed at them, only effectively making one little kid wet their pants, drooling on another kid, and making another tag along bored out of its skull. I say it because I really don't know what sex gender that one is. It looked like Lady Gaga's offspring. Then it was little creampuffs turn...
Ryou practically froze up and started screaming to the top of his lungs," AHHHHH PEOPLE!"
He effectively traumatized all the kids and all I had to do was wave my chainsaw in front of their faces. So in all means...Ryou was the most effective.
~Round 2
We waited there in which what felt like hours, two of us were very turned on right now, for no apparent reason...-suspenseful voice-.
"SO WANNA TALK ABOUT OUR LOVE LIVES!?" Marik practically screamed.
Ryou screamed again like a pansy ass.
"What love lives?" I replied
"I love this knife soooooo much,"Bakura said rubbing two knives against his face instead of one and drooling like a love sick fan girl.
"Shhhhh I hear a few more people coming,"Ryou whispered.
He was right, of course the creampuff was right he was always right. So following the same pattern and the effectiveness, Marik was first up to bat.
"Oh my ra I love your shoes, where'd you get them, oh and your hair could use an uplift, I don't even want to know what happened to your hair, also your tan is fake," Marik rambled on, effectively boring the hell out of the group of people consisting of three teens and a kid.
Bakura forgetting that he was weilding fake knives decided to go after a few of them with a blood curdling warrior cry and spittle flying from his mouth. In fact I think I saw him try to eat one of the customers...I wasn't sure though because the lighting was pretty bad in my mask. Effectively freaking the hell out of the group to the point of running into each other also with the help of Ryou who was shrieking at the top of his lungs and trying to pry his yami off one of their heads. I for one...didn't get the chance to even do anything to them since they were running off to the next throng of terrors before I got the chance.
"I thought you said no mass murder," I said glaring at Ryou.
"I was worried about you and mass murder not my yami!" Ryou said struggling to keep his yami under control who was still trying to run after the group which was long gone already.
~Round 3
After Bakura calmed down with the help of the steaks Ryou always carries around we were silent once again with the occasional sound of Marik sighing which sounds like a cow giving birth if I do say so myself. Ryou was playing angry birds on his phone and I was stuck here standing with my stomach growling in hunger.
"I have to go peetinkle," Marik complained silently.
"Shut up no one cares," Ryou said crabbily rubbing his arm where Bakura bit him somewhere in the midst of their fight.
Bakura was licking one of his knives like it was a lollipop and mumbling about death and destruction. Then I started to hear the last group of kids for the night and prepared myself to make at least a couple of them piss themselves if they didn't already. 3...2...1-
"AHHHHHH OH MY RA WHO DID YOUR MAKE UP THIS MORNING," Marik screamed to the top of his lungs at the group, effectively not freaking either of them out and also pissing himself in the long run. Bakura on the other hand.
"DIE DIE DIE DIEEEEEE," Bakura screeched to the top of his lungs, effectively shattering Ryou's computer and scaring a couple of girls until a little girl reached up and started petting his head.
"Kittyyyy," the little girl squealed with joy.
Ryou and I looked at each other with such a "what the fuck" expression we probably could've blown up the world with it. Bakura simply lowered his raised arm with the knife and stares at the little girl perplexed and also purring much to the little girl's delight. It took a few minutes to dislodge the tiny creature from Bakura who gave the little girl a souvenir...a knife to take with her.
"They grow up so fast,"I started to cry,"I wish all little girls were bad ass like that."
Ryou stared at me for a few moments before taking his yami's ear and dragging him back outside while Marik tried tackling me for a piggy back ride.
~Outside
"Well that was fun wasn't it,"Ryou said his eye twitching slightly.
"No one died and there wasn't any blood shed apart from your arm,"I mumbled moodily.
"Yeah well I'm probably going to get rabies...I can't remember if I got Kura's rabies shot or not," Ryou mumbled to himself.
Bakura on the other hand was passed out in the car with a bunch of stolen weapons from the haunted house and Marik was staring at him like a creeper. All in all it was pretty fun...I still wish their was death and blood shed, but pretending is enough I guess. By the way I still have indigestion...friggin Taco Johns.