Made it to chapter 20!I'm obsessed with parallels. Also reference to What She's Worth once again. Some hot stuff goes down, both good and bad. Shoutout toHowling2themoon, you the real MVP.
Rey's POV:
He wasn't showing any signs of changing. I shouldn't think to much into it. Not like he'd want to, especially for me.
I was walking out of my room to meet up with Ben until I bumped into General Hux.
"Oh excuse me."
"I'm sorry." We continued walking until he stopped.
"Rey?"
I turned back around to him. "Yes?"
"Are you perhaps going to see Ren?"
"...yes."
He smirked. "I do hope nothing goes wrong when you see him. After all, he's lived his entire life without a trace of light. Why would you think he would want you? I'm sure once he comes back to his senses he will remember whoyoureally
are."
He hit me home. I felt like vomiting. Hux may be right. I'm running in circles. I didn't go to training that day. Instead, I ran to my room and sat in bed. Tears came out of nowhere. Why am I crying? Because I care.
I sighed and looked over at the nightstand where my lightsaber was. I picked it up and stared at it in my hands. Why did I have to be a Jedi?
Kylo almost immediately came knocking to my door, either by feeling I was upset or by me not showing up to training.
I set down my saber and got up, opening the door.
He looked distressed, like how he did in the interrogation room. He was already in his training get up, black suspenders and all.
"What?"
"Don't 'what' me. Why weren't you there?"
I moved away from the doorway. "I got sidetracked."
He followed me inside and shut the door. "Rey, you're not allowed to get upset over some small thing."
I balled my fists until my nails pinched my palms. "I'm not allowed? You don't own me, Kylo!"
He was taken aback.
"Why're you so mad all of a sudden?"
I couldn't hide even if I wanted to.
"I don't belong here."
He didn't respond.
"Ben, please. I don't belong here and neither do you. Come with me. We could leave here and leave everything behind."
He kept that face on, that face he made the first time we met.
"I can't do that."
"Why not?"
"I want to protect you."
"Protect me? No you're keeping me in a prison all over again. And for what? Power? That's not you. You're a good person-"
"No I'm not Rey. People change. I'm not that teenager you knew at the academy."
My lower lip trembled. "No you're something far worse than that boy with the nightmares. You're a monster that will never be tamed. How dare you expect me to stay here when we both know there's something far greater out there?"
"Rey, I can't just leave everything behind overnight. Even if I wanted to they'd still find us. It's not like it's easy for me when you're here." He began raising his voice.
I looked down and wiped the tears off my cheeks. "I get it. If you want your horrifying life back, then I'll leave."
I began walking towards the door but he caught my arm.
"Please don't."
"Why not?"
He was shaking and so was his voice."I need you. Badly."
"But you just-"
"I know what I said! Rey. I'm sorry. I just can't keep going without you. I know you can live your whole life without needing anyone. You're very independent and strong. But I need you, almost painfully."
His voice was at the corner of breaking with every word.
"I feel so different when you're around. I don't have to dwell on my anger. I've never been so at peace in my life."
From his speech, his hand moved up from my wrist to my shoulder. Unknowingly, his other hand was around my waist.
"Ben.."
"Is this what love feels like?"
Did he just admit he loved me?
"I'm not sure..."
Ben's POV:
I was distraught. Tears filled my eyes. "Fine then. Rey, please. If you don't love me then..." I looked away from her to hold back the sobs. "Then lie to me."
She brought her hands to my face.
I looked at her, trying hard to stop the tears.
She got on her tiptoes to reach my ears. "I'm up to your shoulders now," she whispered.
My blurry eyes were wide. I almost wanted to laugh.
She looked at me, still holding my face in her hands.
"Rey, you-"
Rey didn't let me finish. She pushed her mouth onto mine, pulling me down as she did so. Almost as soon as she pushed into me she pulled away. All those years she got angry at me at the academy for no reason, she was actually jealous?
I pulled her body closer against mine and leaned my face down so my lips brushed hers.
Those lips I felt when I was trying to save her on the island were now urgently pressing into me.
I was trying to pull away, to slow down. I wanted to tell myself this was wrong but I couldn't.
Her lips pushed against mine softly and slowly but grew impatient. Her hands reached up into my hair as I pulled her into a tighter embrace. Each kiss felt stronger and lingered for a longer period of time. On top of that, the Force Bond wasn't
helping. I felt how she did and vice versa. The energy between us was so powerful I almost couldn't control it. All of my senses were more in tune then ever before. Shit.
I picked her up in my arms and pressed her against the wall. I didn't understand what I was doing but it felt so good. My body began burning for her. I'm so screwed.