A/N: Thank you everyone for taking the time to read this. Thanks to GratefulInsomniac for letting me bounce ideas off her and thanks to Allthingsdecent for taking a quick peek only to find that I'd revised it before she even got the chance to review the first draft! LOL

I appreciate you sticking with this story.

It was late Friday night and as Blythe slept peacefully on the couch, House lay on top of the covers in his bed with his hands folded behind his head just thinking about the conversation he had with his mother hours earlier. I will love you unconditionally she told him. Her words had made him both smile and cringe a bit for he wasn't used to that kind of love. For him, love was always conditional, at least that's what he had learned from his father. From the time he was a little boy, John House taught his son there was no reward without effort. He always had to work hard for his father's praise which was rarely given, if at all. His father demanded that he be tough and reiterated to him time and time again that there was no room in life for feelings and that a real man ruled with his head not his heart. This would shape House's view of love and relationships. As an adult, he did not believe in the value of praise and he thought that love was overstated and happiness was a pipe dream. This mindset directly affected his relationships with the people who cared about him the most including Stacy, Wilson and Cuddy.

Cuddy.

She was his Achilles' heel and the addiction that was more powerful than Vicodin. All he had ever wanted was her unconditional love and acceptance. In the end she could love him but she could not accept him unless he changed. Looking back, he did not blame Cuddy for her conflicted feelings, for they had both put on blinders. They had waited so long to acknowledge their feelings, all they wanted was the chance to indulge in them for as long as possible before they eventually ruined it. House knew his father would have strongly disapproved of his son letting his heart make such a decision for him and he hated that his father may have been right. House rubbed his right leg; it was a dull ache but nothing he couldn't handle. As exhausted as he was from the day's events, he couldn't sleep. He thought of a remedy that would solve that problem, the woman who was on his mind. He reached into the nightstand and pulled out the framed picture of Cuddy and Rachel and lay there looking at it fondly. Looking at her picture wasn't the same but it was better than nothing. He missed her beautiful gray eyes, those gorgeous lips, and soft skin he loved to feel next to him at night. He thought she was the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen. Even on her worst days when her hair was unruly and she was bloated and stressed from PMS, she was still beautiful. I never told her that enough he thought. Another stupid move on my part. His fingers traced the photograph and he laid the frame on his chest and closed his eyes. He thought about the last timethey lay in bed together, the night before it all fell apart. It had been a rough week and they had not seen much of each other and to make up for it, they planned a nice quiet evening at Cuddy's house. House cooked the three of them a nice dinner and later cleaned up while Cuddy put Rachel to bed. After a few drinks on the couch in front of the fire, they went to bed, made love slowly and passionately and afterwards just lay in the dark talking.

Cuddy snuggled close to House, her head resting on his chest as he held her close softly stroking her arm. It felt good to be together after the long and exhausting week.

"House"

"Hmm?"

"This is nice isn't it?"

"What?"

"Us."

"Yeah."

"That's it?"

"What do you want me to say?"

"I don't know."

"Tell me."

"Do you like being here with me and Rachel?"

"Where's this coming from Cuddy?"

"Forget it."

"Cuddy what's on your mind?"

"Nothing."

House could hear her sighs and knew her mind was churning. He could choose to let it go and fester into another argument and a week without sex or he could nip it in the bud. He chose the latter.

"Cuddy, talk to me."

"It's just I like having you here. I like it when you spend the night with us. I know Rachel enjoys having you here. I just want to know you like it too."

"I wouldn't be here if I didn't like it."

"House why can't you say it?"

He sighed. There would be no end to this if he didn't give in.

"Fine, I like it here."

She sighed. "Why is it so hard for you to communicate your feelings?"

"I just did!"

"It sounded forced."

"Oh for fuck's sake Cuddy." He put his right hand under her chin and lifted her face to look at him. "Why are you so difficult? If I didn't want to be here I wouldn't be here. Trust me."

Cuddy sighed and reached for his hand, playing with his fingers. "Okay."

"Just okay?"

"What do you want me to say House?"

"Well you could say more than just okay. I'm hurt now."

"Oh House, shut up and kiss me."

He kissed her passionately, enough to get her excited and up for another round. Later, as she slept in his arms, he whispered to her, "There's nowhere else I'd rather be."

That was the last night he would ever hold her and make love to her. It was the last night he would feel her warmth next to him when he fell asleep. It was the last time they would lay together in the dark talking. The next morning would be their last passionate kiss before their world fell apart.

House knew their inability to communicate their feelings was one of the main reasons they didn't last. Had they not been so scared of discussing their feelings things would have turned out very different. Now they were just starting to communicate again and he did not want to make the same mistakes. He knew if he could not talk about his feelings to her he could never become part of her life again. Knowing what he had to do, he set the framed picture on the nightstand, reached back into the drawer, pulled out a pen and notebook and began writing.

That same evening in Boston, Cuddy was wrapping up her attendance at a gathering welcoming the newest group of doctors in the hospital's administrative fellowship program at the lounge of the Liberty Hotel located near the hospital. She hadn't wanted to attend but Sharon talked her into it, saying it was part of her job as a lecturer in the program and it would be good for her just to get out and meet people. After a few hours, the guests bid their goodbyes and she took a seat at the bar to finish her glass of wine before going home. At that moment an attractive man in khakis and a blue denim shirt and tie approached her.

"Hi there, you with the party?" He asked motioning to the remaining guests departing the lounge.

Cuddy turned to him and noted his incredible blue eyes. She remembered he had been watching her very intently earlier in the evening. Not one to be rude, she responded "Yes I am. And you?"

"Yeah" he put out his hand "Mike Kirk, Cardiologist. Mass General."

"Lisa Cuddy, Endocrinologist. I lecture in the AFP. Nice to meet you." She shook his hand and smiled.

"Care for another glass of wine?"

Cuddy was just finishing her third glass but figured one more wouldn't hurt, after all, she didn't have to work tomorrow and she wasn't driving.

"That'd be nice thanks." She smiled.

She watched Mike as he asked the bartender for another glass of wine, the he turned around and handed it to her.

"Thanks." she smiled as she sipped her wine.

They engaged in small talk for about fifteen minutes when he suddenly said to her, "So you're Lisa Cuddy?"

Cuddy raised an eyebrow, not sure what he meant by that but curious to hear more.

"I've heard about you." He smiled. Nice tanned face, perfectly white teeth. He seemed charming.

"Care to elaborate?" She asked as she smiled at him. This should be interesting she thought. Her only friend there was Sharon and she didn't participate in many hospital activities. To her knowledge no one knew anything about her other than the fact she had once been Dean of Medicine at Princeton-Plainsboro.

"Oh I heard a few things. You're single with a daughter, smart, assertive and you used to be the Dean of Medicine at Princeton-Plainsboro in Jersey. I heard you were one tough bitch there. I also heard you were quite the looker." He winked at her running his eyes over her body again.

"You flatter me." she smiled at him and took another sip of her wine.

"You're everything I heard and then some." Mike put his hand on top of hers. "I thought we could get acquainted."

Cuddy felt a little nervous. He seemed like a perfectly charming guy but her heart just wasn't into getting into a relationship right now.

"That would be very nice but you should know I'm not interested in a relationship right now."

He smiled at her, "Relax Lise; who's talking about relationships? I just thought we'd get to know one another better."

His hand began moving up and down her arm and Cuddy felt a bit uncomfortable with his advances. She knew she had to stop this immediately before he got the wrong idea.

"Mike, you seem very nice and I don't want to give you the wrong idea. I really am not interested in dating anyone right now. It was nice meeting you but I think I should go now." She picked up her purse, stepped off the bar stool and took out her phone to call a cab. She was feeling a bit tipsy and realized it was probably due to the fact she hadn't eaten much during the day which enhanced the effects of the wine.

"Come on, stay awhile. I'll take you home."

"I'm sorry I can't." She walked quickly out of the lounge and was unaware Mike had followed her outside.

He caught up with her, grabbed her arm and spun her around. "Come on my car's right over here. Let me drive you home. A gorgeous creature like you shouldn't be alone."

"No really it's okay I've got a cab on the way" she tried to loosen his vice-like grip.

"Cancel it" he insisted.

Cuddy was extremely alarmed over his sudden aggressiveness. "Please Mike, let go of my arm, I need to get home."

Mike suddenly pulled her to him and said "Oh come on Lisa, you're a smart, beautiful woman sitting alone in a bar. With a hot body like yours, what man wouldn't be interested in showing you a good time?"

She tried again to pull away and was unable to so she stomped her heel on his foot and as he pushed her away, she nearly stumbled. She regained her balance and he shouted "You dumb bitch. What the hell do you expect? You're sitting in a fucking bar in a dress that shows off your tits, you smile, flirt and lead a guy on then you don't expect him to be interested? You're nothing but a fucking cock tease."

Cuddy was stunned at his reaction. She was sure she had not led him on, she was just being nice. She did not think she was dressed provocatively, she was wearing the same outfit she'd worn to work that day. Sure, the neckline enhanced her breasts a little but it was not inappropriate. She didn't even know this guy and he was treating her like she was a whore. Cuddy could feel the tears welling up in her eyes but she did not want to break down in front of this creep. Fortunately for her, the cab arrived just in time. Without another word or glance at Mike, she jumped into the cab, gave the driver her address and he took off. She leaned against the door and cried silently, hoping the driver wouldn't notice. She was silently cursing men at the moment, as well as the city she lived in, and the fact that she wouldn't even be there if...she tried not to think about that. She didn't want to think about that, not right now.

Fifteen minutes later, the cab arrived at Cuddy's house. By that time the tears were gone but her eyes were read and puffy and she had a headache. She relieved the babysitter and checked up on Rachel who was sound asleep in her bed clutching one of her favorite stuffed animals. She pulled the covers over Rachel and kissed her on the cheek before moving into her own bedroom. In her bedroom, Cuddy slowly stripped down to nothing and looked at herself in the mirror. She thought about what Mike had said about her being a tease. She had never been the type of woman to lead a man on like that. She knew that in the past she sometimes dressed provocatively but that was at Princeton-Plainsboro when she enjoyed when a certain someone ogled her and made her feel sexy and desirable. At Mass General she tried to keep her style of dress at work as tasteful as possible. She suddenly became slightly self-conscious wondering if others at the hospital felt the same way as Mike. She wondered what they would think about her if they knew everything she'd been through with House.

House.

Cuddy's thoughts wandered to House. He was was always jealous of the men she dated before they got together. Everything he did to ruin her dates was because he wanted her for himself, though he could never admit it. She had secretly loved his possessiveness even if it was annoying at times. She smiled thinking about how House would have punched Mike square in the face and laid him out on the sidewalk for the awful things he'd said to her outside the hotel. She couldn't help but chuckle at that thought. She knew what while House was an ass, he would never ever tolerate anyone treating her like shit. As she thought of him, she looked at herself one more time in the mirror. She did still have a great body, she worked hard at it. It always made her feel good when she looked good and sure it was nice when she could occasionally catch a man looking at her in a way that made her blush. The way House used to look at me, she thought. She secretly loved how House would "compliment" her assets and choice in clothing in his own unique way. When they'd started dating she began choosing her wardrobe specifically to please him. She enjoyed the way he ogled her and slowly undressed her with his eyes. He could do that in a room full of people and make her feel like it was just the two of them and nobody else.

She went into the bathroom and retrieved a bottle of Tylenol from the medicine cabinet, taking two for her headache. She quickly showered, changed into pajamas and a warm pair of socks, and crawled into bed. Her bed was comfortable but too big for one person. She threw her left arm over the other side of the bed where it was empty. She sometimes wondered if it would always be empty. I hate that I miss you you son of a bitch she thought. Her sister had often reminded her she could have any man she wanted and could never understand why or how it was House who stirred her deepest emotions. It was something she couldn't explain to Julia because she really didn't know herself. Cuddy glanced at the clock and wondered what he was doing right now. She wanted so much to hear his voice at that moment and at the same time she wanted to punch him in the face and whack him in the head with his own cane. While she had forgiven House, every time she thought about the fact she had to relocate and create a new life for herself because of his actions, she still felt a twinge of pain and resentment. Clearly it would still take her some time to work through it.

It was near eleven o'clock and Cuddy, though tired and still upset over the events of the evening wasn't quite ready to go to sleep yet. Her mind was churning. Suddenly an idea came to mind. Some people would call her crazy for doing it again but she was growing tired of worrying about what other people think. The hell with society dictating what I should and shouldn't do. It's my life. She got out of bed and made her way to the coffee table in the living room, looking for the notebook and pen she'd placed there days earlier. Locating them, she stopped in the kitchen for a bottle of water and headed back to her bedroom where she fluffed some pillows against the headboard and leaned against them. She picked up her pen and began to write.

And there you go folks, chapter 22. I rewrote this chapter a few times to get it just right. I hope you enjoyed reading it. Please leave a review on your way out! Also, don't forget, there's a ton of great House-Cuddy stories on FF and LiveJournal you need to check out!