bisexualxanderharris on tumblr gave me the prompt "things you didn't say at all" + Faimy. This is a painful one with no happiness.
Faith ignored the tears raining on the ground below her as she put a hand on the headstone in front of her.
"I love you."
Saying it now didn't make her feel any better - if anything, it only made it worse. I couldn't say it when you were alive Amy. Not in those three words. And… now I can, but what the fuck does that matter?
Amy had known how Faith had felt about her - god, no way not to, after the way that they'd had their emotions melded that one night, when Amy lost control of her magic. But Faith had never said those words.
I love you.
Amy would say it all the time, every morning at least, usually multiple times a day. But Faith always just said 'me too' or 'you too' or something like that. She'd shown Amy in other ways - gifts, the best romantic gestures she could manage (which to Faith's mind had never been enough, but Amy had always said they were), or…
But never 'I love you.'
Faith wasn't sure why she'd never been able to say it. But now… Now she couldn't.
Why did you jump in front of me?
Amy hadn't needed to jump in front of the demon's sword. I would have made it… I've lived through being stabbed in the gut before, Amy. And even if she hadn't… Well… at least I wouldn't have to live without her.
But Amy had used her magic to shove Faith aside, get in the way of the sword, take the blow - and killed the demon. Only way to beat him, when he had his sword in someone's gut. Faith had had the knife in her sleeve, and Amy had had her magic…
"I was supposed to die first, Amy." Faith managed to get out past the tightness in her throat. Slayers were supposed to die young. Not witches. Not Amy. "What am I supposed to do without you?" Faith didn't care if anyone was watching. She dropped to her knees before the headstone, the tears flowing even more freely.
"You weren't supposed to die, Amy!" Faith all but yelled, as if she could change what had happened by volume alone. Sobs stopped her from yelling or saying anything more.
It was a few minutes later, as her tears slowed, that Faith spoke again:
"I love you."