Disclaimer: Petshop of Horrors belongs to Matsuri Akino and TOKYOPOP. I'm making no money from the writing of this fiction work.
AU: After first episode in volume 5 (about the Kirin), before Chris comes into the story.
"D! Getyerass out here! T-Chan's chokin on something!"
Count D materialized, and was crouching next to Leon, more concerned by the detective's uncharacteristic anxiety over one of his pets than of any danger to T-Chan. "T-Chan?" he asked with a calm that predictably annoyed his human guest.
"That idiot was yellin at you for nothin!" T-Chan snapped indignantly. "I was laughing, Count!"
"Oh, I see…" Count D seemed solemn, yet, to Leon's experienced perception, the usually charming pet shop owner seemed to be trying to conceal…something.
"I'm surprised the guy can tell a green light from a red one well enough t'stay alive…" T-Chan added with a little more venom than even the Count considered warranted.
"Now-now, T-Chan," Count D reproved gently, "at least our dear detective decided to wait for me to come, rather than try to attempt giving you aid himself…." There was an almost ominous note to the lilt in the end of his last sentence.
As if to punctuate it, the Count added brightly, "You could have found yourself receiving mouth-to-mouth resuscitation".
"A person can actually do that with an animal," the question came out of Leon's mouth, before he remembered himself…"TH-THA-That's just…totally insane!" Leon didn't want to say that it was disgusting. As hard as he tried to convince himself that he completely disbelieved the animals here could actually understand him, well… If there was even the slightest possibility, he wasn't going to say something that might give them the idea that he wouldn't, at least, try to save even one of their lives.
"I'D RATHER DIE A SLOW AND AGONIZING DEATH!!!" T-Chan shouted with what sounded more like desperation than conviction.
To Leon, all T-Chan was doing was barking. He did notice that all of the other animals, as well as the Count were focusing intently and winced at the end of the "fanged goat's" outburst. If T-Chan were actually saying anything, Leon doubted that it was anything nice. Not that he could blame him. If he were T-Chan and had understood what D had just said, well, he probably wouldn't have been pleased with such an idea, even if facing death.
"Next time…" the relieved (not that he'd admit to it) detective turned to make his way back to his usual lounging spot "…I'll remember t'tell ya t'bring me some popcorn," he grumbled at the Count as if truly annoyed. Anyone, man or beast, that had been around Leon enough, would know that it was more to 'keep up appearances'.
"Oh! You two are completely impossible sometimes," the Count almost growled as he did an abrupt About-Face and stormed, albeit gracefully, back to the kitchen.
Leon's eyes stayed on Count D's retreating figure until the pet shop owner was completely out of sight. "Only sometimes?" He muttered with feigned a hurt expression and voice (that perhaps the Count might be told about later by the only remaining witnesses).
"After all the times you've bitten and scratched the detective, he was honestly concerned when he thought something was wrong with you. You didn't have to act like that!" Pon-Chan scolded.
"Yeah, T-Chan! When push comes to shove, the guy is just as protective of animals as he is people, even you!" Ten-Chan crooned with an amused smirk.
The rest of the 'pets' began a tirade of noisy disapproval directed very clearly at T-Chan.
Leon turned to look in the direction of the commotion to see T-Chan looking like he didn't know whether to attack, run—or dig a hole in the floor to stick his head down in.
"HEY! That's enough of that!" Leon broke in with a genuinely defending shout. "Everyone's entitled t'their own opinion!" unwittingly sounding as though he had understood what had been said. He was back over to T-Chan, standing next to him in a stance of challenge towards the others. "Even an ungrateful, freaky lookin' goat with fangs! Now leave'im alone -- r'I'll open up a can of whupass on the rest of y'all!"
Keeping a glaring eye on the other 'pets' of D's, Leon scooped up a too-shocked-to-snarl-or-bite T-Chan. He went back to the sofa, deposited T-Chan on a spot safe enough to the right of where he finally settled himself down with a huff.
Not knowing what to make of the detective's actions, T-Chan wondered if this was even the same human that continually came in and made a nuisance of himself. He stood and leaned his face to the officer's chest, sniffing experimentally for any tell-tale differences.
Leon didn't have to be a detective to understand what T-Chan was doing. With a smooth, but slow motion, he gently placed a restraining hand just above the totetsu's left shoulder. "Relax, dude. It's really me," he reassured T-Chan with an amused tone in his voice. "I'm just offering a truce for now. After all, we cranky guys gotta stick together against all the pleasant, easy goin' powder-puffs that we're surrounded by." He leaned his head down so that his mouth was next to one of T-Chan's ears, and half-whispered a foreboding warning, "Otherwise…they'll try'n turn us in t'one of them…" He sat back up, looking down at T-Chan with a conspiratorial glint in his eyes.
T-Chan blinked and wondered if this human was finally revealing that he was certifiably insane. The earlier scene of just seconds ago flashed across his memory, and his head snapped around in the direction of 'them'. Blinking again, T-Chan made a split-second decision to play along with the human's last words. Letting out an alarmed yelp, he began backing up, as if in fear of his life, until he'd wedged his body into the space between the sofa and the detective's back.
Leon let his head drop back, and began laughing in whole-hearted merriment. The hand he had lightly gripped T-Chan's shoulder with had stayed in contact with the totetsu, and it's strong fingertips began moving in slow, kneading circles.
At first, T-Chan held perfectly still, thinking that the human would stop if he so much as twitched a muscle. That was the last thing he wanted. This was not the soft, feathery stroking of Count D's hand. Of all people, this bungling human seemed to know just where, and just how hard to…
Of it's own accord, T-Chan's body eventually oozed out of it's place of refuge and pooled onto the unoccupied space next to Leon's right leg. The totetsu's eyelids slid closed in rapture, and he happily ignored the giggles and teasing whispers floating in the air around him.
(To be continued…)