A/N: I'd like to thank that guest for telling me the chapters were out of order. They have thus, been fixed thoroughly.
I think all people are lonely. We all want someone to be with us and laugh with us. To cry with us and sing with us or watch a stupid dog movie. It doesn't really matter. We just don't want to be alone. I didn't. She probably didn't either, but she never said anything.
Have you ever looked at someone and just thought: Holy shit! They look really depressed! Yeah? Well, that guy was Aki. That guy looks like crap a lot of the time. Me? I was angry. Minako was the happy one. Deep down though, we were something different. Deep down, Aki was always angry at himself. I was the mopey one, and Minako was lonely. What's the difference between the last two? Well, I was a loser, but I wasn't lonely. I knew I had Aki, and I knew if shit ever hit the fan, he'd be there. Minako didn't have someone like that. She didn't have anyone who she wanted to have die by her side. She was the loneliest person ever but she never said anything.
You're starting to see my problem, right? I'm not the smartest guy. I don't really get anything until someone says it. And she never said it. She'd just smile, and pretend it was okay. That worked for a while. It worked until it didn't.
September 23
She asked me to go with her to the film festival. I'd never gone before. Didn't have money when I was younger, and when I finally did have get money, I didn't see a point. It was different with her.
It was really crowded. A lot of girls had dragged their boyfriends to watch The Incredible Pet Stories Pt 2. I hadn't seen part one, but I liked animals. Maybe she knew that.
"I think you'll like this movie, I heard it's really great." She'd brought her headphones with her, which was really weird. They bounced around her chest when she walked. Who brings headphones to see a movie?
"Are we...really watching this?"
She paused for a minute and I could see a bit of nervousness carve itself into her features. It was so strange seeing something so different on her face. I almost asked her if she wanted to go home. She wasn't having any of that though. She was dead set on hiding any part of herself that could be considered weak, "Of course. This movie is a huge hit right now. I can't wait to see it."
"Well...If this is what you really want, I guess I'm game too." I actually was worried about her. I'd always pegged her for the horror or action type. I couldn't really imagine her liking a sappy animal movie, but I was really excited.
The movie was an hour long. It was amazing. A dog lost his life trying to save his master from falling down the river. He'd been so brave. His little paws kept hitting the water before he was washed away. He'd lost all his energy trying to keep his human safe so he couldn't make it back to shore. I actually bought the DVD a couple months later. Koromaru still watches it with me sometimes.
She reached over to hold my hand. There was a genuinely sad smile on her face. "It's okay Aragaki-senpai. You can cry. I won't laugh at you."
It hit me like a wall of bricks. That night at the shrine. She'd told me she wanted to go to the movies with someone. She was talking about me. She had been planning to go with me, and I'd gotten jealous over nothing.
I couldn't stand it. "I...gotta go."
September 25
The next couple of days were brutal. Everyone was watching me like a hawk. I was normally the guy in the backdrop. The guy no one paid attention to until it was too late. Nothing special, just a well-rounded back row kinda guy. Things hadn't been like that since the "big dinner". Everyone had things they wanted from me now.
I couldn't even stand in front of the kitchen anymore. Even if I looked in that general direction, they all had this face like I was going to pull a rabbit out of a hat. It was a giant pain.
"I have my hopes up, too." Minako said cheerily. We were walking around the dorm, not really heading in any direction. It was just one step in front of the other. Walking around in little squares. Her eyes were pulled wide like Koromaru's before dinner. She'd stretched her arms down, so she was kinda begging me with the stop of her head. Part of her was probably serious, but she never asked anything. Didn't take it for granted that I could pull miracles out of my saucepan.
I laughed. "Don't look at me like that. Just be happy I did it once."
"You expect humans to get a taste of the god's wine, and not come back for more? That's madness!" She wiggled her eyebrows suggestively, giggling soon after.
I ruffled her hair. It was fun to mess up her ponytail. "You think it's funny, don't you? Them hounding me like that. You're probably the one having the most fun."
"Mmmm...It is pretty funny. Everyone had a good time. It's a great memory." She was looking up at the sky, a weird smile on her face. What was she thinking about?
"Well...Nothing wrong with good memories. The two kids back at the dorm needs them."
She stopped walking, turning to look at me. "Two?"
"Aki, and Ken. One big kid, one tiny kid." I stopped too. "Did you have fun that night?"
"Mhm. All thanks to you." She kept walking, turning her eyes back to the sky. I could never tell what she was thinking. It was like talking to an 8-ball.
"All I did was cook. If you had fun, it was because of everyone else."
"You're an important part of our group, Aragaki senpai. I wish you'd realize that." The moon was reflected on her eyes. Yellow on red like dusk. It was so beautiful, and so sad. I didn't deserve it. I didn't deserve any of it: her time, her love.
"Are you...happy...with me? Shouldn't you be with the others? Won't you be happier with them?"
"I'm the happiest when I'm with you." No hesitation. No tears.
"I...Why...? What can I give you that others can't?"
"Someone very important to me once told me that it's a precious gift to understand what guides me. You have showed me what it is that guides me. You've made me understand what it is I'm living for." Her eyes were hard, hard and really sad. There was still so much she wasn't telling me. That she would never tell me.
"What are you living for?" It seemed like the right question to ask at the time. Now that I can look back on it, I think it was the right question, but she was the wrong person. I shouldn't have asked her.
"I live so that others won't feel so alone."
September 26
I was waiting for her near the kitchen. I'd been avoiding that spot for a few days but this was it. I wasn't running anymore. It was the best spot to be without other people watching me. I wanted to wait for her. We needed to talk. She walked in late, as usual, but the moment she came close I stopped her.
"You mind coming with me somewhere?"
"I...No. Of course not." She looked a little startled at first, but she masked it quickly. I nearly dragged her out the door. We were going to Port Island Station, the place where it all began. The place where I killed Ken's mom.
"...Here we are again." I turned to look at her. Her usual smile was nowhere to be found.
"Junpei, Yukari, and I came here a few months ago. Before we met Fuuka." She began slowly.
"You're right. I met you here too... Back then I never imagined that I'd go back there."
"To SEES." She didn't say it like a question but I nodded.
She paused for a moment, as if looking for the right response. "I'm glad you came back." She decided, quietly.
I laughed self-deprecatingly and shrugged. "I doubt that I'm bringing that much to the team, though."
She shook her head slowly, her hair slapping her slightly on the cheek. "Our team is like the sky. Everyone brings something different. Yukari and Fuka are like a pair of birds, Junpei the clouds, Sanada-senpai brings the stars, and you the moon." I laughed again, but it died quickly.
"You're... a pain." I sighed. I couldn't look at her. She was amazing, and I was in love. I didn't deserve her. "You keep messing things up for me...I keep thinking that my life is the way it's supposed to be but..."
"But what?" But every time I look at you, it's not enough. I want more time. I want to live. I want to be with you. And I can't.
I sighed. "You make me want to be something more than what I am."
"You already have everything that matters."
"No I don't!" I was shouting. I hadn't checked my temper and I lost it. She stared at me. No smile, no fear. All wonder. "I'm sorry for yelling."
She didn't respond. Her eyes were looking for something somewhere on my face. I don't know what. When she started up again, it was slow. "Once upon a time, a boy woke up alone on a bridge." A story. "No matter how long he called, no one answered him. He was alone. The ones he loved had flown away. All around him was death. Death and lost time."
"Minako, what are you trying to say?"
"You're here right now. That's the important thing. That's the only thing that matters.
"You've got other friends who want to be with you. They will be with you." I mumbled. "Not me. Not forever." I couldn't keep the bitterness out of my voice.
"They're not you." She slipped her hand into mine, and I nearly jumped back. I didn't think she'd heard me. I didn't think she'd do something so freaky and out of place. I didn't think she could do this to me. She had the courage of an army.
I pulled my hand out of her grip. "Can you...forget about what I said tonight?"
Pain. I saw it, but only for a second. It was gone as fast as one of her personas. She'd pushed me out again. Just like I'd just done to her. Her mask was back up, as was her perfected little smile. "Okay."
I tried my best to fix the situation and smiled, "...Hey. C'mon. I'll buy you some ice cream. It'll make you feel better."
"Okay."