A/N: I love the comments on my last few chapters. Chapter 39 was a tough one to write because it was so full of emotion. I'm so glad we finally got our favorite twosome together in the same room. They've got a lot to work out, no better time to begin like the present, right?

Please, do yourself a favor and take the time to read some of the 3,537 House-Cuddy fics on this website. Show your support for the authors, their writing and for our favorite couple.

Thanks to the awesome GratefulInsomniac for taking the first peek at this before I posted it.

While Cuddy took her time in the shower, House prepared two dishes for them that he placed in the microwave one at a time. He decided to do a little clean up around the kitchen while he waited. As he rinsed items and placed them in the dishwasher his thoughts drifted to memories of the many times he and Cuddy had bathed together. House enjoyed baths as often as possible because the hot water soothed his sore muscles but many times he and Cuddy showered together. They didn't have shower sex standing up because of his leg but many times when they spent nights at her house, which was quite often, they took advantage of the built-in shower bench in her rather large shower.

He recalled their first shower together, it was at his apartment the weekend they became a couple. They had to go back to work and reality the next day and the night before they just wanted to enjoy their alone time together as much as possible.

They stood under the hot spray soaping each other and sharing kisses and caresses. Cuddy moaned into his mouth when he grabbed her ass and caressed her cheeks gently. Suddenly he stopped, realizing there was no way he could pleasure her standing up, not with his leg as it was. His eyes reflected regret and embarrassment but Cuddy was not fazed, she sensed his frustration and gently put her hands on either side of his face and drew him to her, kissing him passionately, whispering how much she loved him in between her kisses. The way she looked at him, held his face tenderly and kissed him softly reassured him that she understood his concern and it did not bother her. With no need for words, they rinsed, dried off, and made their way to the bedroom and resumed where they'd left off in the shower.

House smiled thinking about how Cuddy had never felt sorry for him, never pitied him. She understood his pain and how important it was for him to be treated like everyone else. As he lost himself in his thoughts, he suddenly heard a voice behind him, which made him jump in surprise.

"Penny for your thoughts?" Cuddy asked.

He turned around and noticed she was dressed casually in yoga pants, tee shirt and socks. Her hair was damp and curly, her face devoid of makeup. House thought she looked most beautiful when she looked like that.

"I was just thinking."

"About?"

"This and that."

"House."

"Okay, but don't say I didn't warn you."

Cuddy gave him a curious look.

"I was thinking about you and me in the shower."

She blushed. "Of course you were. Good times huh?"

"Yeah."

She looked around the kitchen noting he'd cleaned everything up except the casserole dish he'd served from and their plates. "Thanks for doing this, you didn't have to."

"I know. I wanted to."

"Well, thanks."

"You're welcome. Why don't you grab us something to drink and we'll eat."

They opted to eat in the living room where they could relax and House could put his feet up on the coffee table. They enjoyed their meal with very little talk, mostly centering on the food, which was delicious and devoured eagerly by both of them. After cleaning their plates, Cuddy took them and stacked them on the end table on her side of the couch.

"Listen, House…what happened earlier…I know you understood why I needed to do that and I just wanted to say…thanks."

He looked up surprised she would thank him. "You're thanking me for letting you scream at me?"

"Umm…I'm thanking you for encouraging me to do it. It needed to be said, it needed to come out. While I've forgiven you I've also been holding in a lot of anger for a long time. I know forgiveness is supposed to help with that but it's easier said than done. We've both been through so much that I don't want to hold a grudge anymore; I don't want to hate you. I don't want you to hate me."

"Cuddy I don't hate you, I never have. You have every right to hate me though."

"We spent so many years fighting one another. I don't want to do that anymore. I don't mind arguing with you, I think we both need that. It's just that I don't want to fight. There is a difference."

"Did we fight that much?"

"Well, not that much but when we did it was rough on both of us, all because we didn't communicate." Cuddy said. She added, "We had good times too, remember?" Cuddy asked, smiling.

"Yeah we did but I got tired of walking on eggshells waiting for the inevitable breakup. What kind of morons go into a relationship fearing the worst?"

"We do."

Before House could agree, the phone rang. Cuddy looked at the clock on the mantel and realized what time it was. She remembered she'd promised to call Rachel before she went to bed. She picked up the portable phone from the receiver next to the couch.

"Hello?"

House shook his head and chuckled listening to Cuddy talking to Rachel. After a few minutes Cuddy bid goodnight to her daughter and hung up. She turned back to House to resume their conversation.

"So, how's the munchkin?" He asked.

"She's good. She went with her friend Hannah to the Museum of Science today; they had a blast at the planetarium and now she wants to be an astronomer." Cuddy rolled her eyes and laughed.

"I thought she wanted to be a Dean of Medicine like her mother."

"Oh you have been gone awhile! She's been through a dozen different careers in the past couple of years. I have no idea what she'll be next month. It's actually quite fun to watch her and listen to her talk all about what she wants to be when she grows up. She changes her mind constantly and I think that's fine. I told her she can be anything she wants to be so long as it makes her happy."

"She's a smart kid."

"You think so?"

"In the beginning I wasn't so sure but she grew on me. Yeah I think she's smart. She may not be yours biologically but she takes after you. She's got the same facial expressions and body language as you and she's got the attitude. She's yours alright."

"That's funny because my mother said the same thing. You know, recently I've had doubts. Her piano teacher told me she has a natural gift for music. I'm not musically inclined, never have been. Rachel plays by ear and she's very quick and picking up learning to read music. I wouldn't be surprised if she begins composing soon." Cuddy said with a chuckle.

"She's going to have some natural talents that run in her DNA and she's going to learn a whole lot from the people around her, especially her mother. Don't sell yourself short. She's got a lot of you in her, trust me."

"Thanks House, that's one of the nicest things you've ever said about her."

"Well, I should have said those things earlier."

They sat silently on each end of the couch. Cuddy stared down at her lap and House watched her intently. Neither one knew what to say. Finally Cuddy broke the silence.

"I know that you really tried with Rachel and I know how hard it was for you."

"I never thought I'd get along with her, hell I never thought we would last long enough to get that far. Wilson kept telling me I needed to step up because you wanted a father figure for her but I just wasn't ready to be someone's dad."

Cuddy looked at House but didn't say anything because he looked like he wasn't finished talking yet. It was hard enough to get him to talk and she didn't want to interrupt and risk him closing himself to her again.

"You're a good mother."

Cuddy smiled. "Thanks. You were good with her too House. I saw things you didn't think I saw and I heard things….and well…even though you were there for her I kept expecting the worst to happen."

"It was no picnic for me Cuddy. What do I know about kids anyway? She was a good kid and she was smart…turns out she wasn't as much of a problem as I thought she'd be."

"You taught her things…you were good to her, it made a difference. She missed you."

"I never thought I'd say this but I missed her too but I always felt she was better off without me though. I didn't want to screw her up…like my dad did with me."

"Oh House, you're not your father. Whatever he did to you, I know that you'd never hurt Rachel, you'd never hurt any child."

"Not intentionally but then again, I've hurt a lot of people without intending to do it."

"That's true but you took your time with Rachel and you taught her things she would not have otherwise learned. You taught her music, read to her, and you gave her advice."

"Advice?"

Cuddy smiled remembering the moment she'd overheard House talking to Rachel. "One morning I left for work and you were getting Rachel dressed and off to school for me. I forgot something and went back and overheard you talking to Rachel. She said she had a stomach ache and didn't want to go to school because some kids teased her about being adopted."

"You heard that?"

"Yeah, I heard what you told her. It was real sweet House."

"Oh crap you're going to ruin my image."

"Your secret is safe with me."

"I just told the kid what she needed to hear to make her feel better."

"I know but you meant it too. She had a problem, you were there for her. It meant a lot to her…and to me."

"I was afraid of her you know…at first. When you adopted her I acted like an asshole to you. I was…jealous. You finally had everything you'd wanted and I wasn't a part of it."

"House, it wasn't a competition."

"I know, but you wanted a child for years, I couldn't compete with that."

"I also wanted a relationship."

"But I think you wanted the kid more."

"Yeah, it turns out I'm better at parenting than I ever was in a relationship. Once I had her, it felt like a void was filled."

"It would have become lonely eventually."

"It did."

At the moment she said that, they just looked at one another. No words needed at that moment to understand the loneliness they'd both felt but afraid to act on for so long.

"You know what was neat about our relationship? We always challenged each other. We never put up with each other's bullshit. We gave as good as we got."

"We sure did."

"We were good together."

"Yeah we were."

"I keep going back to that night. If I'd given you a chance…"

"Cuddy, listen to me. Yes, I was upset that you broke up with me over one pill but eventually I realized why you did it and I forgave you. You had to protect yourself and Rachel. If we hadn't broken up that night, it would have happened eventually. Even though we'd waited twenty something years to be together, when we finally got together, we still weren't ready. "

"Oh, House..."

House got up from the couch and walked over to one of the bookshelves. He ran his fingers along the spine of one of Cuddy's old medical textbooks and smiled. Continuing his train of thought, he said, "I blamed you, Wilson, my parents, Nolan, even Stacy…and when I ran out of people to blame for my mistakes, the only person left was me, the person I should have been pointing my finger at in the first goddamn place. I knew I was completely responsible for where I was. I finally admitted to myself what I'd been telling others to admit for years, that we are where we are because of the choices we make. I made bad choices that cost me dearly but in the end, the worst choice may have saved my life."

"So you're saying everything that's happened was meant to be?" Cuddy asked. She was astonished that House, a man of reason, would give himself over to such thought.

"It's possible. People change."

"They do? Since when?" She asked.

"Since they hit rock bottom and nearly lose everything," he said as he turned to face her.

At that moment Cuddy could not believe the color and clarity in House's eyes. It had been years since she had seen him like this, so clear-headed and focused. He had really changed.

"We've wasted so much time, haven't we House? I mean in college, then all those years working together, and then the last couple of years. I'm so tired of wasting time. We're not getting any younger."

"I know."

"Do you remember when I said you were the most incredible man I have ever known? Well, I meant it. I've loved men in my life but I've only ever been in love once," she said, looking right at him so he would understand the meaning of her words.

House didn't know how to respond. He wasn't sure where the conversation was headed but he knew that not being honest would put them back where they once were and that scared him more than anything.

"I've always loved you Cuddy."

"You have?"

"The first time I set eyes on you in the college bookstore, I knew there was something about you…I had to get to know you better. After I got kicked out of med school and left without telling you well I just figured it was never meant to happen." He closed his eyes and sighed. "I moved on with my life but I thought of you."

Cuddy was stunned by his admission. "Did you think about me when you were with Stacy?"

"What kind of question is that?" House laughed and noted Cuddy frowned at him for that. "Oh relax, would you? I'm not laughing at your question. I guess I never expected we'd be having this conversation." He moved to put his feet up on the coffee table again but glanced at Cuddy then took off his shoes and then put his feet up. He continued where he left off.

"Look, I've only really loved three women in my life. You, Stacy and Beth, a girl I dated in high school. Okay maybe there was a fourth, a little girl I grew up with down the block, but we were only six years old and I don't think that counts." He smirked at her and then continued. "I wasn't the relationship type of guy, I'm still not. I was with Beth for a year in high school and in college I'd go out with girls and maybe we'd have sex, but in the end, those who actually liked me couldn't be with me because I just wouldn't open up and talk about my feelings. I decided relationships were bullshit and as long as I was having a good time, that's all that mattered."

"What about Stacy?"

"Stacy and I hit it off immediately. We were attracted to each other and the sex was good. We didn't talk about being in a relationship, we just moved in together and that was that. We talked about a lot of things but we never had serious conversations, not about life or our future. Neither of us wanted marriage or kids, at least not then. When we got along it was great but when we fought, it was nasty and bitter. I don't know if you know this this but before the infarction things weren't going so well which is maybe why it was so easy for her to leave when I pushed her away."

Cuddy sat still, picking at the napkin she'd been holding in her hand. She couldn't believe House had opened to her. She had so many questions, she wanted to take his hand in hers and comfort him, but she knew she had to let him talk.

Realizing he hadn't answered her question House said to her, "Cuddy, you want to know if I thought about you when I was with Stacy. From time to time I did. I had a life with her then so I was happy with it, at least for awhile. I had moved on and I figured you had too but there were times I wondered what would have happened if…if I hadn't left like I did. There were times I wanted to call you just to see how you were doing but I was too much of a coward."

Cuddy smiled. "Thank you."

"Now it's my turn to ask you something," he said.

Cuddy nodded her head.

"Did it bother you when Stacy came back here?"

"No," she said but the look in her eyes relayed something quite different.

"Cuddy."

"Okay, maybe a little. I offered her the job because I felt bad for her and I knew she needed to work while Mark was in rehab. But I also worried because she started asking me questions about you. I worried when I thought she might try to get you back and I didn't want you to get hurt again. I knew it would devastate you."

"Why didn't you ever tell me?"

Cuddy let out a hearty laugh and looked right at him. "Yeah, okay. Would you have even listened? Things were just so different between us. Back then we didn't have that kind of relationship."

House nodded his head affirming what she said. "It took a long time for us to get our heads out of our asses didn't it?"

"Yeah and then we had them right back up there," she said, shaking her head. She got up from the couch. "Come on, I've got to get these plates in the dishwasher and put away the leftovers, you can help me."

"Ohhhh, mom." He whined.

"House."

"Alright." He feigned pain but actually he felt very relaxed. His leg hurt a bit but nothing he couldn't live with for the time being. He grabbed his cane, limped into the kitchen behind her, admiring the way her ass swayed in front of him. He had always loved the way she looked in those yoga pants.

As if Cuddy could read his mind she called over her shoulder, "House are you staring at my ass?"

"Do you even have to ask?"

She laughed at him as she moved into the kitchen. She put away the leftovers as House placed their dinnerware in the dishwasher.

"Coffee, House?"

House chuckled. "Did you just hear what you said? Coffee House? Get it?"

Cuddy just shook her head as she got two mugs out of the cabinet. While the coffee brewed, Cuddy looked out the kitchen window into the moonlit backyard. House walked over to stand next to her. They just stood side by side, looking out the window.

"It's so beautiful isn't it?" She asked.

"I suppose, if you like that sort of thing," he said.

Suddenly, Cuddy grabbed his hand. "Come with me," she said.

Without a word, he grabbed his cane as she led him to the door of the kitchen that opened to her backyard. She made sure to turn off the kitchen light and the motion sensor porch light as they walked out the door. As he closed it quietly and stepped outside, he took in the scene around them. The backyard was very comfortable and large, with a patio and brick barbecue and a wooden picnic table. There were a few very large trees, one of which had a swing. The yard was fenced all around with privacy hedges that were at least six feet tall. The yard was bathed in soft moonlight and it was eerily quiet except for the rustling of the leaves in the cool breeze.

"House" she said, "Look up there." She pointed at the sky and said, "It is beautiful isn't it?"

At that moment, House looked up and realized she was right. The moon was large and bright and there were only a few stars which could be seen among the sea of blackness. It was incredibly beautiful, in fact, it was simply breathtaking. He turned to her and looked in her eyes. The way the moon reflected in them made them look like blue-gray pools of glass. He was entranced.

Cuddy moved to stand in front of House and placed her hands gently on both of his arms. "House, the world is not all bad; there are so many beautiful things to experience. We've both taken so much for granted in the past, it's time we stop doing that. We both have a lot to be thankful for. Look at you, you've been through hell and you're alive and you're getting healthier, both emotionally and physically, every day. You don't have to be scared to live anymore," she said softly, as a lone tear escaped her left eye.

House wanted to brush away her tear and comfort her but he wasn't sure they were ready for that kind of contact yet. "Cuddy" he said, "For me, this is it. If I don't get my life together now, I never will. I hate the person I became and what I did to the people I care about. I don't ever want to go back to being that person ever again."

At that moment, Cuddy wrapped her arms around his waist and pulled him into a hug, her face buried in his chest. At first he wasn't sure what to do, but for once, he didn't think about it, he just followed his instinct. He dropped his cane and wrapped his arms around her shoulders, holding her close to him, resting his chin on top of her head. As he closed his eyes, he felt her relax into his arms. He heard her speak, softly but very clearly.

"I don't think you will House, I think you're going to be okay now."

Well, there you go, another chapter finished. Hope you enjoyed it. Leave me a comment. If you like this story, feel free to pass it on!