Chapter Three

His hands were roaming my half naked body, his lips were locked with mine in a heated kiss. I tangled my fingers in his hair as his lips made their way down my jaw to my neck. Leaving my lips sensitive and swollen from the fierce kiss. Darren's hands crept up my blouse and I moaned lightly into his ear then nipped at his earlobe. My body was on fire and from what i could tell so was his. I had an ache deep inside me for him. A desire to touch him everywhere and play in the sheets. I was in my panties and shirt as for him he only wore his jeans and boxers underneath. We had never slept together even though we'd been seeing each other for nearly four months. I was still a virgin and he wasn't. Which made it more nerve racking for me. He promised he'd wait until I was ready and I loved him for that. My fingertips traveled down his chest, abs, and happy trail to his jeans. I unbutton them and unzipped them anxiously. I heard a low growl slip from his precious lips, I smirked and kissed his shoulder.

"Someone's a bit horny today huh?" He looked at me with an arched brow and slick grin.

"Shut up." I blushed and pulled his lips to mine.

"Does this mean you're ready?" He asked with hope, his eyes darken with lust.

"I'm not sure." I bit my lip and suddenly felt like I was suffocating under him.

"You're not?" He frowned.

"I don't know." I pushed him lightly off me and sat up.

"What's wrong Gabriella?" He sat beside me and kissed my shoulder.

"I'm confused." I pulled my knees up to my chest and wrapped my arms around my legs.

"About what?"

"I-" As I looked into his kind eyes I felt guilty. I saw someone else in them and quickly hopped out of the bed. Searching for my jeans, then putting them on in a hurry. Next finding my boots and sliding my feet into them. While Darren kept quiet and just stared at me in confusion. He got out of bed as I grabbed my bag, putting on his wrinkled shirt. Usually when I came here I wouldn't want to go anywhere else. I wouldn't want to be anywhere else, but with him. This time was different and I couldn't get out of there fast enough.

"You gotta tell me what's up with you?" He walked to me.

"Nothing I just have a lot on my mind." I shrugged, avoiding his eyes.

"I know you and I know when something's up, tell me." His cool hand found my cheek and I couldn't look at him. Not now.

"I have to go, Darren." Pulling away from his touch.

"Why?" He started to sound more frustrated then concerned.

"Because I have to alright?" I snapped at him and he looked at me in shock.

"What the hell is wrong with you?!" He yelled back.

"I'm sorry." I kissed his cheek and walked out of the bedroom.

"Gabriella." He followed after me over to his front door.

"I'll see you later, babe." I told him and with that I left.

I walked down the sidewalk plugging in my earplugs and turning the volume up on my iPod. Searching for a song and landed on the song titled "I Knew You Were Trouble" by Taylor Swift. For some reason I felt as if I could relate to the lyrics, I shoved my hands and iPod in my pockets of my jacket. Pulling up my hood and continuing on my path. Soon I arrived on my doorstep and walked in, Kylie was out due to her summer job. I had the place to myself for a few hours and I'm glad I did. I needed some serious alone and quiet time trying to work my shit out and pull myself back together. I was risking an amazing relationship and guy by having thoughts of a person I thought I once had loved. troy coming back into my life was screwing with my head and I didn't like it at all. I decided on calling my mother..

"Hello?" She answered.

"It's me mom." I rolled my eyes as I pulled my coat off and throwing it on the couch.

"Gabriella, oh honey." She cried. "I'm so sorry for last night."

"So am I.." I mumbled. "What were you thinking?"

"I thought you might like to see him."

"How would you think that?" I fell back onto my bed as I entered my room.

"You were so upset when he left I thought you'd be ecstatic to see he come back."

"More like the opposite." I let out a heavy breath. "You know how bad he messed me up mom."

"That was two years ago Gabriella."

"Two years, two hours. Doesn't matter." I argued. "He broke my heart and he thinks everything will be dandy by showing up."

"Maybe he wants to make it up to you?"

"He can't make it up to me, call me dramatic. But I don't want him back in my life.. he'll mess things up."

"Like what?" She paused. "Your relationship?"

"What?" I shot up. "No way, I love Darren not Troy Bolton!"

"You love Darren?" She sounded shocked.

"Well.. maybe. I could." I defended.

"Besides I never said he'd mess it up by you still loving him." She sighed. "I meant by him loving you."

"He never did and never will love me mother." I ran my fingers through my hair.

"You don't know that."

"Trust me, if I know anything.. it's that much." I felt a pain in my heart. "I gotta go, bye."

"Bye Gabby." I hung up the phone and threw it at my pillow.

My head fell on the pillow soon after that closing my eyes. I needed to shut out the world for a moment in time to get away from everything. Forget about everything and everyone. I settled my hands on my stomach and erased all things in my mind. I felt relaxed for the first time since he came back, taking a deep breath and exhaling slowly. I soon drifted into a slumber as my eyes grew too heavy to open. For that time nothing matter and nothing entered my head. Nothing was complicated, it was just me. The doorbell woke me up and I turned to my alarm clock to see I had slept a good two hours. Even though it only felt like five minutes. I groaned as I got out of bed and headed to the front door. Opening the door I found the last person I wanted to see.. ever.

"Oh God, you're like a never ending marathon." I threw my head back and moaned in annoyance.

"I can tell you're happy to see me." He chuckled in amusement.

"Always, Troy." I snorted and crossed my arms glaring at him.

"Can I come in?" He smiled.

"Sure. Why not." I turned and walked to the couch.

"Y'know I'm sorry about last night. ." He walked in and shut the door while focusing his attention on me. "I didn't know you'd be there."

"Well I was." I leaned my hip against the couch. "Plus why were you having dinner with my mom anyways? Bit weird."

"She was like a second mom to me Gabriella." He frowned and I saw the sadness slip into his eyes.

Growing up with Troy had brought our families close together. He could rely on my mother and I could rely on his parents, they would be there for me as if I were their own. The same went for my mother and Troy. But tragedy struck when Troy was sixteen and he had lost both his parents in a terrible car crash. They were killed instantly. That was a day I never forgotten Troy was devastated I never in my life of knowing him seen him so crushed. It was as if his world had crumbled right beneath his own feet. I never wanted to see him so depressed and lost, I couldn't stand there and just be useless to my friend. But I couldn't do anything and it sucked. That's the reason he had to leave.. his older brother lived out of state and that was the only place Troy had left. Even though he dreaded his brother and the thought of living with him he had no other choice. I was mad at him for leaving me at the time and I guess part of me still is. He left us damaged and broken, but so did I. But it hurt too much so I put all the blame on him and that led me to build up this huge grudge against him that I just couldn't let go.

"I forgot." I said in a whisper.

"It's alright." He managed a small smile.

"Um, is that all you came to say?" I felt awkward and didn't know what to say anymore.

"I needed to see if you've forgiven me yet? Which apparently you haven't so.." He scratched the back of his neck.

"I don't think I'll be able to ever fully forgive you Troy." I licked my lips. "It's not your fault, it's mine."

"What do you mean?" His eyes read of confusion.

"I don't think you cheated on me. I know you had to leave," I felt my throat drying up.

"But?" He grew closer to me.

"But I spent so much time hating you for leaving me broken that I can't let go of that." I hated myself for always getting emotional around him.

"So you hate me?" He sounded crushed.

"No.. and yes." I couldn't find the right words. "It's confusing for you just as much for me."

"Yeah." His brows furrowed and he nodded. "I think I understand."

"Wanna help me to?" I laughed.

"So we can be civil now?" His smile showed off his white teeth, it was breath taking.

"Yes." I smiled back. "I think so."

"Hug it out?" He opened his arms.

"Oh my gosh." I giggled and went into his arms, hugging him.

"I missed you Gabriella." He said in a low tone as his arms wrapped around me.

"I-I missed you too Troy." I pressed my face hard against his chest never wanting to let go of him. "Troy?"

"Yeah?"

"I think there's another reason for me hating you.." I pulled away and looked at him, he still had me in his arms.

"What's that?" I felt his body tense up.

"For never loving me back." I pushed him away, releasing me.

"Brie, I-"

"Can you go?" I looked away.

"Are you mad?" I could feel his eyes burning through my skull.

"No," I shook my head. "Just need time alone."

"Okay." he neared me once again. "I'll see you later?"

"Yeah." I looked up at him and forced a small smile.

"Bye." He pressed his lips to my forehead.

"Bye." I saw him leave and shut the door behind him. This vision had been all to familiar.

The depression and pain was all rushing back again. I had thought it all left, but everything about my past seemed to be coming back unwanted. As I looked in my bathroom mirror I saw the old Gabriella. The one who was broken and had lost her way. She was running scared and didn't know where else to turn to. I looked to the razor I picked up from the counter top of my sink area. One slit and the pain would numb for a while.. this was once the answer I turned to when I felt like I was nothing. I thought maybe, just maybe this would help me one more time. I pressed the blade against the skin of my wrist and dragged it across slowly. The blood began dripping out and I slid my back down the wall, so I was sitting on the tile floor. I watched it drip onto the white tile and felt comfort.

And that's that chapter. Yes, a lot of drama for this story. I love drama as you can tell I have no idea why lol. Anyways I hope you all like it. Don't put any hate because of the ending. I'm trying to make this real.. you'll see why and how she started cutting when she was younger. & you'll find out why Troy was dreading to go off and live with his older brother later on. Then you'll understand the story more as it progresses. Don't worry there will be happy moments in the story. lol btw I'm loving all of your guys' comments. They make me wanna do more.

REVIEW FOR CHAPTER FOUR! & ENJOY.

xo troyellalover96 xo