Chapter Four

The blood dripped onto the marble sink as I stood there watching it intensely. I felt emotionless and useless the comfort the blade gave me was sickening. To be honest I sickened myself and I hated it. But I couldn't stop once I started it was too difficult. It was an addiction and obsession that took over my mind. The last time I started was when I was eleven. I was so scared and confused back then and didn't know what the hell I was doing. Each time he hit me or verbally abused me I would run to the comfort of the one thing I knew I did have. It was around the time I had turned thirteen that we found out I had a mild case of depression and bipolar. My mother put me into therapy to see if that would help me, it did in time. I learned coping skills to deal with the pain inside begging to be released somehow. When I felt as if I would relapse I had my best friend there for me to help me through. Troy Bolton. That period of time I realized just how damn important he was to me and I wanted more. It wasn't until two years later that Troy and I got together officially. We knew we'd always be together one day, but we had issues to sort through and once we felt like we achieved them... we came together.

"Knock, knock!" I heard the familiar voice of my roommate and friend.

As I heard her voice and tap on the door I jumped and the blade fell to the floor. "Fuck." I muttered.

"You okay in there?" She waited for a response. "You been in there for ages."

"Y-yeah I'll be out in a sec." I called back and quickly picked up the blade.

I scrambled to clean up the blood on the sink and on my wrist. Pulling my sleeve down to hide the cuts and hiding the blade inside the drawer under my shit that was piled in there. I looked myself in the mirror and took a deep breath, straightening my shirt and posture. I opened the door to find Kylie standing right in front of me with a suspicious look upon her face. Smiling as if nothing was wrong and walking passed her.

"Your certain you're okay?" She folded her arms and raised a brow.

"Totally. Stop being so suspicious Kylie, jeez." I managed a little laugh.

"Just making sure." She smiled softly. "Your boyfriends been calling."

"Oh, I'll call Darren back in a few." I walked over the fridge and skimmed it.

"Um, I meant Troy." She grinned.

"He's not my boyfriend." I snapped, glaring at her.

"Damn sorry." She rolled her eyes. "Just kidding, take it easy."

"I'm just making it clear.. Darren's my boyfriend and Troy is not." I shrugged. "Never will be again."

"Anyways when do I get to meet your old beau?" She grabbed an apple from the fruit basket on the counter top.

"I don't know." I decided on Orange juice, grabbing it and then a glass.

"Is he really hot?" She giggled with amusement.

"No comment." I poured my juice in and stuck it away.

"I'll take that as a yes." She smirked as she bit into the apple.

"Whatever Kyles." I rolled my eyes as i took a sip.

"Gonna formly introduce him to Darren?" She crunched down eating her apple.

"Why would I do that?" Placing the glass down and putting my hands on my hips.

"If he's gonna be apart of your life ag-"

"He'll probably leaving anyways, so I'm not worried."

"Worried about getting close to him again or about him leaving?" She raised both her brows and walked back to her room.

She was right though I wasn't sure which I was more worried about. If I got close to him again then there be that possibility of getting hurt by him once more. But if he just left I'd still be torn. Either way I wasn't going to win, he would be there in the back of my mind. His memory and everything would be gnawing at me. The question was how would I survive Troy Bolton? The first time around was enough itself. I wasn't sure I could handle a second. My phone began to vibrate in my pocket..

"Hello?" I answered in a low tone.

"Hey." He spoke softly.

"What's up?" I tried to act as casual and normal as I could.

"Uh, can I come over?" There was hope in his voice.

"Sure." I nodded to myself as I told him.

"See ya soon." The line went dead and I placed the phone back in my pocket.

"Hey Kylie!" I yelled for her.

"What?!" She came running out.

"Guess today's your lucky day." I smiled.

"Huh?" She looked at me like I was crazy.

"Bolton's coming over." I laughed at myself using his last name, it was weird.

"Seriously?" She straightened up and had a huge grin on her face.

"Yup." I said with popping my 'p' at the end.

"This is gonna be good." She wiggled her eyebrows and I laughed.

The doorbell rang minutes later and I walked over opening it. Troy was standing with his hands in his jean pockets as usual. He looked stunning in his royal blue short sleeve top. His white skinny jeans hung low. Showing off the waistband of his black Calvin Klein boxers and the jeans were kept held up by his pure blue studded belt. On his feet were a pair of nothing but black converse. His eyes were glimmering and his hair was messy, but yet very suitable for him. His tongue slid across the bottom lip and I felt myself starting to get flushed. Thank god for Kylie.

"Troy Bolton?!" She came to my rescue as I stood frozen still sinking in his beauty.

"Yeah." He nodded with a kind smile. "You the roommate?"

"I like to be called Kylie." She shrugged. "So.. you're the famous Troy huh?"

"Famous aye?" His eyes flickered to me then back to her making his gorgeous toothy grin.

"Oh totally." She smirked.

"Talked about a lot then?" His eyebrow rose and his arms folded across his chest.

"She's kidding." I finally managed to find the ability to speak again.

"Sure, alright." He nodded and winked at her.

"Come on in." I moved aside and he walked inside.

"Thanks for allowing me over." He faced me and smiled.

"Of course." I shut and locked the door.

"I've been waiting to meet you Troy." Kylie got closer to him and batted her lashes a few times.

"Really?" He asked amused.

"Mhm." She nodded with a flirty smirk. "You're much more handsome then I imagined."

"Thanks." He unfolded his arms and his eyes caught mine.

"So Troy what brings you over?" I question.

"Just wanted to see you." He shrugged.

"Good enough excuse I guess." I had a ghost of a smile on my face.

"I thought so." He did his famous half smile which made me bite my lip.

"That's my cue to go." I heard Kylie whisper, but I couldn't take my attention off of Troy. "I'm gonna head out guys."

"What?" I snapped out of my daze. "Where do you have to go?"

"Places." She grabbed her purse from the couch. "I'll be back later."

"You sure you have to go?" I was nervous to be alone with Troy.

"Yeah." She nodded. "Have fun guys." She gave me a sly smile and wink.

"Nice meeting you Kylie." Troy smiled.

"You too babe." She grinned at him and left out the door.

"Uh," I searched around the place. "thirsty?"

"For sure." He nodded. "Whatcha got?"

"I think Orange juice, Milk, Coke and I don't know." I walked into the kitchen to the fridge.

"No alcoholic beverage of the kind huh?" He leaned his hip against the counter top.

"Not really big drinkers here Troy." I giggled and quickly shut up.

"I missed hearing that." He smiled softly then it faded.

"So Coke?" I tried not to go into the awkward subject.

"Sounds good."

"Okay." I grabbed two and handed him one.

"Thanks." He accepted it and clinked it with mine.

"No problem." I popped open the lid and took a sip.

"Refreshing." He said after taking a long drink.

"Oh yeah." I nodded.

It went into an awkward silence between the two of us. I stared down at my bottle and started fumbling with my fingers. I heard him let out a hearty breath and move from his spot. I followed his feet to see where he was headed to and they lead towards me. I felt my breath catch and afraid to look up at him. I knew we agreed to be civil, but maybe I couldn't be. I was too angry, too nervous and worried. He was there and I felt like slapping him but at the same time hugging him and not wanting to ever let go of him. If I ever got caught up in a moment with him that would be the end of it. I couldn't back from that.

"Gabriella?" I felt the connection we had.

"Troy?" I finally looked up and our eyes met. His eyes were so beautiful.

"About what you said the other day.." He bit his lip and rubbed the back of his neck.

"Yeah?" I looked from his lips back to his eyes.

"When you said that you hated me be-"

"Troy it's in the past, we agreed to be civil." I forced a smile.

"I know, but you said I never loved you back." He shoved his hands in his pockets.

"Yeah, so what?" I didn't feel like fighting or hearing why he never had loved me. I was exhausted at this point and I just couldn't take another blow.

"You were wrong y'know." His eyes left mine and I could feel him growing nervous.

"What do you mean?" I held my breath waiting for his answer.

"You were wrong because," He paused and licked his lips. "I always have."

"You.."

"Yeah, I love you Gabriella and I always have." He lunged at me connecting my lips to his and kissing me forcefully.

I pushed him away. "What the fuck Troy!" I slapped his cheek hard enough to hurt my own hand.

"Shit." His hand rushed to touch his left cheek and rubbed it.

"Are you serious?! I thought you just wanted to be friends?!" I shouted in fiery.

"I'll always want to be more than friends with you." He mumbled.

"Troy, you expect to come back, say sorry, say you love me then kiss me and expect me to be like oh my god let's be together?!"

"No.. I hoped." He shrugged with his eyes filled with disappointment.

"We can't go back to how things were." I sighed as I calmed myself.

"And why not?" He raised his voice.

"Because that's not how life works. We're not kids anymore." I shook my head and ran my fingers through my hair pushing it back.

"You love me and I love you. What's the problem?"

"Problem? You expect this to be some fairytale shit right now." I felt like in this moment all I wanted was to run into his arms, but I fought the urge.

"I'm not saying it's going to work perfect, but-"

"No but's Troy," I folded my arms and bit my lip. "I have a boyfriend who I care for very much."

"You could never be as happy with him as you were with me." In his eyes I saw him searching for answer that I couldn't provide him with.

"It's different with him, yes. But you don't know anything about us." I felt like my throat was closing in.

"Maybe not.. but I do know you." He stepped forward cautiously. "And you're not happy."

"I was." I mumbled. "Then you came back."

"Wow." I looked up into his eyes and saw hurt. "I guess I'll go back to where I came from then."

"Troy.."

"Don't." His eyes were dark and his expression was harsh.

"I didn't mean it." I moved closer to him, but he put out his hand and forced me to stop where I was.

"I think you did." He shrugged and headed for the door. "I'm sorry I even came back."

"Don't say that." I followed him.

"I won't bother you anymore if you don't want me to." He didn't even bother to look at me.

"But I-" The door opened and to my surprise I seen my current boyfriend Darren. He had his earphones in, dark blue levi's, and a white/black plaid button up shirt. Pairing the outfit off with a pair of black boots. He looked to both Troy and me as he tugged his earphones out and stuffed them into his pocket.

"Oh hey babe and Troy is it?" He looked at Troy.

"Yeah that's me." Troy nodded politely.

"What are ya'll up to?" Darren smiled.

"I was about to leave." Troy glanced at me with no expression what so ever.

"I always seem to catch you before you go." Darren laughed. "We all gotta get together sometime."

"Uh, I don't know how much longer I'll be in town." Troy ran his fingers through his hair then shook it.

"That's too bad, maybe some other time?" Darren walked over to my side and wrapped a possessive arm around my waist.

"For sure." Troy nodded I noticed his jaw tighten.

"See you later bud." Darren waved and smiled.

"Right, see ya." Troy looked at me with sad eyes and left, closing the door behind him.

blahblahblah. Drama 24/7 with these two lol. I guess the worlds suppose to end tomorrow aye? Least I got this chapter out first lol ;)

REVIEW FOR CHAPTER FIVE. & ENJOY.

xo troyellalover96 xo