Dear Miranda,
Hi. I know you're not here, not really. So many people keep telling me how you'll always be here. I don't really think that's true, but Dr. Day thinks I shouldn't think so negatively and was the one that suggested for me to write these letters. I miss you a lot. The house is really quiet without you now. Dad even flew in from Florida and is spending the next couple weeks with Mom and I. Mom arranged a really nice bouquet for the funeral. It was filled with all your favorites (even the little purple ones that are so hard to grow in this weather). I think this is all I can manage today. I love you.
Love,
Katie
Dear Miranda,
It's been three months. I don't see Dr. Day any more, partly because I lied about writing these letters. I told her I wrote to you every day even though I haven't wrote in months, that it's helped me greatly, but in actual honesty I haven't wrote anymore because I had nothing worth telling. Now I do. I'm not as sad anymore, I still miss you though. Dad hasn't left, I think him and Mom might even remarry. I wish you were here to see her smile. It's so beautiful, Miranda. It's like sunshine pouring right out. I haven't seen her so happy in a long, long time.
Do you remember Travis Stoll?
Well, if you don't, let me remind you.
He's a total ass. We were in art class today and he just had to poor blue paint all over my jacket. Well, actually your jacket. It was the one you wore all the time with the baby blue and pink stripes. It was the only thing that still smelled like you. Flowers and earth and cool mountain spring water.
I went home after that. Mom is still trying to get the paint out. At least I slapped him right across the face before leaving. That left him both blue and red. I didn't even get in trouble.
He's the kind of person that deserves a thousand slaps. He doesn't deserve anything, but horribleness. He's made my life hell since that first day of kindergarten and this is just the icing on the cake.
I hope you're doing well,
Katie
Dear Miranda,
Travis Stoll had the audacity to apologize to me with a bushel of flowers today. He even said he felt bad for ruining your jacket. Ugh! He is so infuriating. I doubt he has even a fraction of an ounce of guilt in his whole body. It was probably the principal or his mother that forced him to apologize.
The flowers were nice, though. Bright, tall tulips of purple and pink. He probably just pulled them from a neighbor's garden on the way to school. He wouldn't ever do something actually nice.
I guess I just needed to rant to you like old times. Do you remember when we'd rant to each other in your bedroom? We would sit on your bed with that old Bratz blanket you got for your 5th birthday. I'd go out and buy us Neapolitan ice cream. You'd eat the chocolate part, I'd eat the strawberry, and we always left the vanilla part to mealt.
I miss that.
With love,
Katie
Dear Miranda,
Dad proposed to Mom today. I'm happy, I really am. Mom was glowing as bright as a star when she said yes. I just… I feel a little ignored now. It's like they don't have time for me between work and dates. I know if you were here you'd take a break from life and just play a board game or two with me. You'd make sure I wasn't lonely. You'd love me like nobody else.
Missing you,
Katie
Dear Miranda,
It's been a year since you died. I can finally talk about you without crying. Dad cheated on mom again, just before the wedding. She was a young blonde, bombshell. Hardly even twenty-five. Just goes to show what a pig he really is.
It's just the two of us now. Mom and I, I house feels really empty.
Is it bad that I don't really care he left? Is it selfish to feel happy that now Mom will have time with me?
I feel wrong, Miranda. But I'm glad he's going. After all, he wasn't that great of a dad.
Love,
Katie
Dear Miranda,
Travis Stoll sat by me at lunch today. At first I was livid. How dare that boy try to worm his way into my daily life. I don't have time for buffoons like him.
But… It wasn't that bad (much to my dismay). He tried to make small talk (I ignored him) and then we sat in a peaceful, partly uncomfortable silence. Actually, now that I think about it. He wasn't bad at all. Maybe I've been a little harsh on him. I think I'm still bitter over the jacket. It still has a large blue stain on the back. Mom tried her best, but even the best isn't enough sometimes.
Love,
Katie
Dear Miranda,
I've been tutoring Travis for the past three weeks. I take back what I said before, he really is a nice boy. Every tutoring session includes some sort of apology from him for all the pranks he's played on me. I hope he knows how much that means to me. Not many people apologize for the wrongs they've done. It really shows maturity, something he's been severely lacking for a long, long time.
I think we're friends now. He sits by me at lunch almost everyday and knows that strawberry is my favorite flavor (he's brought me strawberries on several occasions). It's nice. After your death a lot of my friends didn't know how to act around me, so just ignored me. Even Lacy. She'll wave at me every once in a while, but we haven't had a sleepover in ages or went to the movies together in months.
I miss my friends….
With Love,
Katie
Dear Miranda,
Did you know Travis had a brother? His name was Connor. He died from leukemia three years ago. I feel a lot more connected to Travis now, he knows what I'm going through. It's comforting to know I'm finally not alone. I still think about you all the time (just like Travis does Connor).
Love,
Katie
Dear Miranda,
Travis asked me to be his girlfriend today. I wasn't surprised at all. Things between us have been a lot more than just 'friends' lately. He'd wrap his arm around my shoulders when another boy started flirting with me. Our hugs goodbye would linger on for just a moment too long. Our hands would 'accidentally' brush against each other.
Just months ago I hated him with a fury so hot and red it mirrored the sun itself, but now… Now, those feelings are soft and warm, humming with happiness.
All throughout the day he was showing me off to his friends like I was the most beautiful diamond in the world, like he was the luckiest guy to be dating me. My cheeks were as red as the strawberries he brings me!
You'd love him, Miranda. He's funny and charming and his smirk could get him in trouble almost anywhere.
I'm sorry you'll never meet him.
I'm sorry you never got the chance.
Love,
Katie
Dear Miranda,
I'm so sorry. I haven't written to you in weeks, months even.
I've been on cloud nine since Travis asked me to be his girlfriend. My heart soars when he calls me 'his girl'. That trouble maker smirk is in my daydreams. His kisses are so gentle when they need to be, but greedy when both of us want more.
We haven't gone that far yet… but almost. He holds me in his arms like I'm a fragile piece of china and looks at me with a glow in his eyes.
I've never felt this kind of adoration before.
He's the world to me.
I think I'm falling in love with him, Miranda.
I think I'm okay with that.
Love,
Katie