A/N: Hey guys, I'm terribly sorry for this incredibly late update but I've had a series of REALLY tough, stressful issues going on with election frauds and whatnot and school and...rush seriously I've had a lot going on lately.
BUT no matter because, as always, I seem to find the time and inspiration for this at least.
So with that in mind, a lot of my inspiration comes from my reviewers so...
SHOUTS OUT!
-November 2 1990: Yeah, that was my favorite scene too, lol. The others were just too dramatic or lovey-dovey lol. Oh Jo will have her moments soon, don't worry...and she'll make a short appearance on this chapter, just saying. Anyways thanks for reviewing and enjoy the chapter!
-OuToFmYmInDbAcKiN5MiNuTeS: Lol. I did that on purpose, although now I feel bad for it because I took forever to put this up. Well, most of your questions will be answered in this chapter. Oh and I'll be ending this fic very soon but one of the main issues of the sequel will be mentioned in this chapter. Let's see if you can guess what it is...thanks for reviewing and enjoy the chapter! Can't wait for YOUR next update! Oh and yes, I totally took inspiration on the bell part from your story...sorry, it just made me laugh so much I just HAD to include it here too, lol.
-4ever with Kames: Well, you'll see what Carlos' answer was in this chapter ;) Yu know, several people have answered for more Jett so...don't worry, there'll be more Kett later on, including the sex scene from Jett's POV as you requested, but it'll probably be in the sequel seeing as I'm planning to end this fic soon...it's getting too lengthy lol. But we'll get there, no worries! Thanks for reviewing and enjoy!
-LoveSparkle: Well...no more waiting lol. Here's your answer. Sorry for the late update though, terribly sorry. Life is cruel sometimes,lol. Well, enjoy the chapter and thanks for the review!
-Charlie-Rose94: Well, here's the much awaited answer. Sorry for the long wait, life decided to be cruel to me this week. Thanks for reviewing and enjoy!
-Tigers257: Well...the answer's here...thanks for reviewing and enjoy the chapter! And don't worry...Carlos will explain his reasons in later chapters...
-DeniseDEMD: Glad you liked the Kames anniversary. And here is Carlos' much awaited answer. Motives for this answer shall be given later on. Thanks for reviewing and enjoy the chapter!
-EagleAce11: I'm glad you enjoyed the Kames...well, I've noticed bruises don't usually come up until later so...he just might've missed it...being, ahem, otherwise distracted. Lol. Thanks for the review, hope you enjoy the chapter!
-SuperNeos: Yes! I was hoping you'd like my little Frankie scene! Success! You're right...it WON'T be pretty...we'll see how it goes, lol. Thanks for reviewing, hope you like this chapter!
-Nuria de Maslow: Lol. Perhaps because you were feeling emotionally connected with Logan? Lol. Anyways, Carlos' answer is HERE. Although his reasons will be further detailed later on...thanks for reviewing and enjoy the chapter!
-big time James-k: I update every week, and thanks! Glad you're liking it so far! Thanks for he review and enjoy the chapter!
YOU GUYS ROCK!
Cheers,
Franshes
Ch. 43: Reality Check
The next morning Kendall woke up feeling happier than he had in a while, feeling James snuggled closely in his arms.
He gently caressed James' brown locks of hair, the brunette smiling in his sleep.
Kendall propped himself up and placed a gentle kiss upon James' mouth.
James eyes fluttered open and he smiled lazily up at Kendall.
"I could get used to waking up like this," he said jokingly as he pulled Kendall in for a much deeper and more meaningful kiss.
"Much as I'd love to stay like this forever babe," Kendall said, smiling at James "My stomach's growling, let's go grab something to eat…"
"Sure," James said before his smile disappeared as he remembered "Oh, and we might want to stop by and invite Logan with us, poor boy, he must be a wreck this morning…"
"No kidding," Kendall said with a laugh "I'll bet you he'll be a nervous wreck from now on until the day of the wedding…he'll be even worse than you are, stressing over every small detail…"
"Huh?"James asked him, confused now "What are you talking about?"
"Well," Kendall said, grinning sheepishly "Logan told me not to tell anyone but I guess it won't be a secret for much longer anyway, Logan wanted to ask Carlos to marry him, here, in Spain…"
"WHAT?!" James exclaimed horrified.
Kendall misunderstood his tone.
"I know," he said excitedly "And since we were going to be off and on our own yesterday he'd told me he was planning to propose to Carlos yesterday…they must be engaged now…"
"Oh no, oh no, oh no," James said, growing more anxious by the minute "Kendall, this is wrong, this is all so very wrong, I-we-we must find them, immediately!" and he began getting up and dressing hurriedly.
"Why? What's up?" Kendall asked, sitting up as he watched James throw on whatever clothes he could find, not minding, for once, how he'd look like in them.
"Kendall, you don't understand," James said, agitated "Carlos wanted to break up with Logan. He told me that he wasn't sure if what he felt for Logan was real or if it was just because he'd never had anyone else in his life. He told me he wanted to try new experiences…he-he wanted to be with other people,"
Kendall's eyes grew with dread, the mirth in his eyes slowly dying as James' words sunk in.
"And what's more," James said as he threw Kendall a pile of clothes and the blonde began to dress hurriedly as well "Carlos told me he was going to break the news to Logan yesterday, since they had more privacy…"
"Oh no," Kendall said softly "James we have to find them…"
And together they left the room in search of their best friends...
(Some random part in Spain…)
A boy wandered through the shabbier parts of town, seemingly lost, and unsure of where to go.
His step was unsteady, his eyes unfocused as he took another long gulp of the strong liquor bottle he held in his hand.
That had to have been like his fifth bottle of liquor since last night.
Last night…
The painful memories exploded across the boy's mind. He cringed, willing his mind to rid itself of last night's recollections.
Last night was supposed to be the best day of his life.
And it had turned into a horrendous nightmare.
"Hey pal, you lost?" Someone called out to him in rough English, he couldn't really focus much in order to tell who.
Shadows began materializing all around him, one by one, enclosing him in a circle.
"You never should've come around here boy," a voice drawled from nearby.
"This is our territory, nobody comes into our territory!" another gruff voice called out.
"Dudes, I think he's totally zoned out," said another voice, full of glee.
"Think he's high?" a surprisingly timid voice asked "think he's still got any of the stuff he's on with him?"
"Nah, he's drunk most likely, look at that bottle, stupid kid," said the voice from the beginning.
"I say we teach him a lesson!" the gruff voice called out.
The pale boy couldn't even scream as the shadows closed in on him…
(With James and Kendall…)
Both of them spotted Carlos at the same time. He was on the buffet line, behind Dara, talking to her and a couple of other actors on-set.
"CARLOS!" They both yelled racing to him.
"Hey guys," he greeted them with a cheerful smile. A smile that was so fake it could not even fool his co-workers, even less his best friends.
"Cut the crap, Carlos," Kendall snapped "What the hell did you do?"
"I don't know what you're talking about…" Carlos said evasively, not meeting Kendall's eyes.
"You know damn well what we're talking about," James said firmly "Where's Logan?"
Carlos sighed.
"How should I know?" he said "After last night…I doubt he'll ever want to be near me again…"
"Carlos, what happened last night?" Kendall exclaimed.
Carlos sighed as the still-too-painful memories began filling his mind.
Flashback
"Well?" Logan asked him again when he didn't speak for several long moments.
"Logan," Carlos exclaimed, his eyes welling up with tears, but not being able to tell if they were tears of joy or sadness.
"Yeah?" Logan asked him smiling brightly.
"Logan, I-I-"Carlos stammered "I don't know what to say…" he said finally, carefully.
"Say yes," Logan said enthusiastically "Say you'll marry me and that we'll both be happy together…"
"I-I-"Carlos tried to speak once again but his voice was betraying him "I can't, Logan, I can't," he said finally.
"W-what?" Logan said, standing back up and staggering a few steps back from him "C-Carlos, what are you saying?"
"Logan," Carlos said with a sigh "I'm sorry, this is all my fault, I've let it come this far instead of telling you right away…I-I don't want to be with you anymore Logan. I- I think we should break up…"
"What, why?" Logan cried anguished "Carlos, what did I do? What did I say? Is it because you feel I rushed this? We don't have to get married yet if you don't want but there's no need for you to overreact...I'm sorry, okay, I'm sorry if I've made you angry at me…tell me what I've done wrong and I'll make it right, I swear but please, please, don't leave me…"
"You've done nothing wrong," Carlos said, not wanting to meet Logan's pain filled eyes "You're the perfect gentleman, Logan, only…I'm not sure you're the perfect gentleman for ME. There's no way I could ever be sure of that Logan, not when I've only ever had YOU to compare…I-I need this Logan, I need to try new things…"
"But- but why?" Logan asked him "Am I not enough for you?"
"Just for this once…I'm afraid not," Carlos said with a sigh "Look, Logan, I'm not saying we're breaking up indefinitely…we should just…take a break from each other, figure out what it is we really want and then…well, we'll see what we want to do then,"
"I don't need time to figure out what I want," Logan said in a voice full of hurt "I know I want you Carlos…Don't you want me too?"
"No," Carlos said, his voice cracking, his throat tightening into a knot at Logan's heartbroken expression in front of him.
Logan collapsed into a fit of crying then, and, after awkwardly patting his back for a few moments, and feeling his heart break into a million tiny little pieces at the sight of Logan's suffering, Carlos decided it was probably best if he left the smart guy alone to give him time to recover.
Picking up his things, he paid the bill and hurriedly left the restaurant, not even bothering on saying goodbye to Logan who still hadn't raised his head from the table.
He hadn't seen the smart boy ever since…
End of Flashback
"You just left him there? Are you crazy?" Kendall ranted "Honestly, you're such an idiot! I could hit you right now!"
"Well, what else was I supposed to do?" Carlos fired back, finally breaking under all the tension and suppressed emotions he'd been carrying for the last couple of days "I couldn't just stay there, keep on eating, pretending he wasn't suffering, Kendall, pretending nothing was wrong! My heart was breaking just as much as his was at that moment…"
"Well if it shattered you to see him that way why did you even end it with him?" Kendall asked him coldly "Honestly, Carlos, what more could you want from a guy? Logan's given you everything you've ever wanted! And this is how you decide to pay him back!"
"Says the guy who's had the most unsteady relationship in the history of relationships…" Carlos replied back, just as coldly.
"Okay, enough!" James intervened, aware that Kendall and Carlos were probably about to get into a fight "We'll discuss this some other time, right now, we need to find Logan…if he hasn't returned all night, God only knows what's happened to him…we need to look for him, NOW…"
Just then Jo rushed over to them.
"Kendall-"she began but Kendall interrupted her.
"You know Jo, now's not really a good time, we have to go find Logan so-"he said but she didn't let him finish.
"That's what I'm trying to tell you!" she said "Logan stumbled across some sort of gang territory last night and got beaten up…guys, Logan's in the hospital…"
"WHAT!" the three of them exclaimed…
At the hospital...
The three guys, Gustavo, Kelly, Elena and Mama Knight all entered the hospital, pale as ghosts.
They were led up to Logan's room by a nurse.
Outside Logan's door, a doctor was talking to a nurse about increasing the dosages of one of Logan's medicines.
When he saw them coming, the doctor hurried to greet them.
"Are you Logan Mitchell's family?" he asked them in perfect English. They nodded.
The doctor sighed.
"Have a seat, please," he said, motioning to some chairs behind them.
"Doctor, please tell us, is Logan going to be okay?" Kendall asked, full of worry, remembering the other situation in which one of his loved ones had been in a very similar situation.
"Physically, yes, he'll recover," the doctor said, everyone sighing in relief at hearing this.
"But…?" Elena said, sensing there was a negative side to this.
The doctor sighed again.
"Mentally? I'm not sure he'll ever fully recover…" he said "There were high levels of alcohol in his system when we found him, which we found odd since he's a minor…it's possible that the gang members might've forced him to drink in order to better subdue him, however, it's only a theory. In any case, he-he wasn't physically fit enough to fight them off- they-they raped him…I'm sorry,"
The guys gasped.
James, who knew that pain, was particularly affected.
"Is-is he going to be okay though?" Carlos asked real softly.
The doctor sighed once more.
"He's awake for now, if you want to see him, just-don't overwhelm him that much okay? And don't ask any questions…we don't want to make him upset in the delicate condition that he's in…" he said.
"Yes doctor," they all agreed before bracing themselves and heading inside the room.
Logan was propped up in a few pillows, staring blankly at the wall, as though willing to burn a hole through it with his gaze.
"Hey Logie," Carlos said gently upon entering the room.
Logan barely acknowledged the other three's presence, sparing them half a glance before returning his gaze to the wall.
"The doctor says you're going to be okay, buddy," James reassured him "Everything's going to be fine now…"
"If you say so…" Logan said a monotone, detached way.
"Do you…want us to bring you anything?" Kendall asked his friend carefully "Any books or games you may want us to bring you here…"
"Nah, I'm good, thanks," Logan said in the same dead voice, never breaking his gaze towards the wall.
"What's so interesting about a wall?" Carlos asked him jokingly, moving to sit with him, brushing his hand against Logan's hair.
The effect was instantaneous.
Logan jerked away from his touch so violently that he accidentally ripped the IV off his arm and sent a chorus of beeping noises to the nurses who came running toward him, shooting glares at the boys for disturbing their patient.
After they'd repositioned his IV, Logan scooted as close to the wall as he could, keeping a safe distance from himself and Carlos.
Carlos, hurt, but getting that Logan did not want him there right now, mumbled an apology and left the room in a hurry...
As soon as Carlos was gone, Logan dissolved into tears.
Kendall and James tried to cheer him up as best as they could but it was hopeless. The smart boy was broken.
"Logan, tell us, is there anything, anything at all that we can do that will make you feel better?" James asked pleadingly.
Logan didn't even bother to answer.
"Logan, maybe Carlos will…you know, maybe he'll change his mind about things, see things in a different way…" Kendall said slowly, carefully.
"Yeah, he was very hesitant the whole time," James said without thinking "I mean, when he first told me I never believed he'd actually-" his eyes widened and he cut off abruptly, aware of what he was implying.
It was too late anyways, the harm had been done.
Logan fired up immediately.
"You knew?!" he shouted "You knew and yet you didn't tell me! You let me go out there and make a fool of myself! You let me get my heart broken! What kind of a friend are you?"
James held up both his hands in front of him defensively.
"To be fair, I had NO idea he was actually serious about it," James said "He seemed so nervous about it at the time…but besides, Carlos is my friend too, Logan, I couldn't just tell you and betray him…"
"Oh but it's okay for you to betray me?" Logan said with a scoff.
"Hey, I had no idea you were planning on proposing, otherwise I'd have told you regardless of what Carlos said or thought but-" James tried to defend himself but Logan cut him off brusquely and rounded on Kendall.
"And you!" he said "You couldn't have said anything to me about this as well? Even when I practically poured my heart out to you, you couldn't have said something to warn me? Instead, you let me go on with my fantasy, digging deeper and deeper into a hole I can no longer get out of? What kind of a friend does that?"
"Hey, I only found out today about Carlos…I had no idea, otherwise I'd have told you, like James said-" Kendall tried to defend himself but Logan cut him off abruptly.
"Liar," Logan said, blinking back tears before shouting "You're both liars, you're all liars! How could I have ever been so stupid to trust any of you?!"
Nurses intervened then, kicking James and Kendall out of Logan's room for disrupting their patient who was obviously getting very agitated by their visit.
Both teens sighed as they headed out of the hospital, deciding that, for once, they'd let the adults handle this on their own.
Logan needed some space right now…
With Logan…
The adults had finally gotten him to calm down enough so that he could lay in the hospital bed.
He knew he'd be discharged from the hospital tomorrow morning, he just didn't know what would happen then.
He couldn't go back to them, any of them, they had all betrayed him.
And yet, being in Europe…so far away from home, it didn't look like he would have any other possibility.
The sole thought of seeing Carlos every day after everything that had happened filled Logan with a pain so intense he was sure he'd die from it…
With Carlos, James, and Kendall…
"Think Logie will get better?" Carlos whispered as they all sat in the hospital cafeteria, sipping black coffee, their desserts untouched.
"Stop calling him that," Kendall snapped at Carlos "You lost all right to call him that when you decided you didn't want him anymore!"
"Kendall!" James exclaimed.
However, Carlos fired back immediately.
"Oh so now it's all my fault he got hurt? If you'd just told me he was planning on proposing to me I-I could've…I don't know- I could've been gentler with him…but he caught me by surprise I-I…"he couldn't complete his sentence as he broke down crying "My Logie went out and got hurt and now it's all my fault!"
"Hush now, it's not your fault," James said soothingly "But Kendall's right in one thing Carlos, you've got to stop referring to him as your Logie- that can only hurt you both and make it impossible for you guys to move on from this. It was your call to let Logan go, Carlos, and I told you this before, and I'm repeating it now…now you've let him go, there is no guarantee that he'll ever come back to you…"
"I know that," Carlos blubbered "It just- it hurts!" and he collapsed crying in James' shoulders.
Just then, Mama Knight, Gustavo, Kelly and Elena all approached them, wearing equally somber expressions.
"What's wrong?" Kendall asked them, scanning their sad faces.
"Logan is...not feeling really well at the moment," Kelly said carefully.
"No shit..." James said sarcastically and with a roll of his eyes.
"James, language!" Mama Knight admonished the young adult but even her voice trembled as if she were about to cry.
"Guys...Logan wants to go home," Elena said with a sigh.
"Well, um, I'd say that's fair, he needs his rest and he probably wants to get as far away from the guys that hurt him as he possibly can..." Kendall said logically "So why don't we let him catch the first plane to L. A first thing tomorrow morning?"
"Kendall," Gustavo said with yet another sigh "You don't understand. Logan doesn't want to go back to L.A with us, he wants to go back home, to Minnesota with his parents...guys, Logan's quitting Big Time Rush, the movie, everything..."
"WHAT!" The three exclaimed simultaneously.
Carlos' knees buckled from underneath him then and his whole world began spinning around him.
He fainted on the spot...
A/N: Dun dun dun! What will happen next? Is BTR done for good? Well, we'll see what happens NEXT chapter! Lol. Once again I apologize for the VERY late update...really sorry guys. Hope you still liked it, or, well, it was sad but...you get my point! Fair word of warning I am thinking about ending this story VERY soon...it's getting WAY too lengthy BUT no worries, there WILL be a third part which should wrap things up quite nicely and finally allow me to move on to other projects, lol. On another hand, one of the sequel's main conflicts was subtly introduced this chapter-can anyone guess what it is? You'll win a sneak peek if you guess right!
REVIEW TIME!
*Puppy eyes* pretty please? I've had a TERRIBLE week and reviews would be a nice consolation prize...
Cheers,
Franshes