A/N: Thank you to GratefulInsomniac for giving me feedback I so desperately needed. Also to Cherokee Jedi for the midnight chat last Sunday night in which we tossed around ideas for our fics and fed the plot bunnies! Let me just say that plot bunnies are vicious little creatures with humongous appetites and razor-sharp teeth. They scared me. :)

Do you like Nolan? Do ya? Good, because he's here and he's not going anywhere.

On Wednesday morning just after eleven o'clock, House and Nolan sat comfortably in a booth in a quiet corner of the restaurant. Both men were digging into the stacks of pancakes in front of them. Nolan chuckled watching House greedily devouring his breakfast.

"What? I'm hungry. PT was a bitch this morning."

"Of course," Nolan replied, nodding at the huge stack on House's plate and the huge stack that lay on the plate next to it.

Rolling his eyes House said, "I'm a growing boy."

"Of course you are." Nolan chuckled. "PT still helping?"

"So far, so good," House replied not even looking up from his food.

"I noticed you're standing straighter."

With a full mouth he spoke. "Walking with a cane screwed up my posture, we're working on it."

"Are you still wearing the patch?"

"I don't have much of a choice, it's the only thing that works that I can handle."

"What about the Oxy?"

"Only in an emergency," he said before taking a long gulp of milk.

"Good for you Greg," said Nolan, obviously pleased that House considered it a drug of last resort.

"Gee thanks dad."

Nolan shook his head and went back to his breakfast. The two continued to eat in silence for a few minutes, then Nolan put down his fork and fingered his coffee cup carefully, his eyes on House.

"So…is there anything in particular you'd like to talk about?"

House leaned back in the booth and tapped his fingers on the table.

"I'm assuming you want to talk about your visit with Dr. Cuddy?"

"Well, duh."

"Did you two talk?"

"If you mean talk as in have sex, no. If you mean talk as in talk, then yeah." He looked down at the table and fingered the rim of his coffee cup. "In fact, I'm headed to Boston today."

"I take it then you are making strides."

"Yep."

Nolan felt House was holding back so he decided to prod him a bit. "What is it?"

"I really wanted to stay and help her when she got home from the hospital but I had to come back when the team called me."

"She understands Greg, she knows you have a job to do."

"I want her to know she is important...more important than the damn job." House said it louder than he intended, as the couple behind them turned around and stared. House just gave them a "mind your own business" look.

"You're going back just like you said you would."

"I just don't want her to change her mind."

"About?"

"About us."

"You're doing it again."

"What?"

"We talked about this some time ago, your obsessive need to question everything related to your personal life. Why can't you accept she forgives you and go from there?"

"Fifty plus years of experience."

"When it comes to the people who care about you, instead of questioning it, try to accept it."

"Hello? Have you met me?"

"I'm just saying don't give up. Try and have faith."

"She deserves better."

Nolan just shook his head. He'd heard that from House many times before. "Greg, you need to stop thinking you aren't good enough. If she didn't want you around, if she didn't care, don't you think she would have told you by now?"

Silently, House sat back and listened quietly, an array of thoughts churned in his head.

Nolan spoke again, but softly this time. He didn't want to overdo it. "How can you expect her to believe in you if you don't believe in yourself?"

House looked out the window next to them, watching the people milling about outside. Nolan understood that House often needed to take a step back to process things. He was willing to give him that time if it meant progress.

Finally House spoke. "Cuddy is all the things I'm not. She's caring, compassionate, understanding...I'm none of those things."

Nolan laughed out loud. House looked at him curiously. "Greg," he said shaking his head. "You underestimate yourself greatly. I've seen you in action, I've seen how you are when you want to help someone. I don't buy it's always for the puzzles either. Besides who said you should be those things you mentioned? Why can't you just be...you? Why isn't being Gregory House good enough?"

"It's never been good enough," House said softly to himself but Nolan heard it.

"Listen," Nolan said leaning forward to rest his elbows on the table. "We're only human, we're going to make mistakes in life. We acknowledge the mistakes and we move on. We can't brood on it and let it run our lives."

"I hate change."

"I know you do."

House smirked. "I'd hate for people to think I'm going soft."

Nolan laughed. "That will never happen."

Both men sat in the booth, quiet a few minutes. House people-watched with a toothpick in his teeth, Nolan sat watching him. Finally he said, "Greg, you deserve happiness just as much as anyone else. We need to begin looking forward, letting go of the past, and having more confidence. You're a brilliant doctor and you are always sure of yourself in that regard. I only wish you could develop that same sense of confidence and security in your personal life."

"Don't know if I can."

"You can and you will because you want it. You have already overcome many obstacles. The strides you've made are significant; the way you open up now...you never would have opened yourself up like that before."

"You forget, I did…once…after Mayfield and it backfired on me." House said solemnly.

Nolan heard the hurt in House's voice. "I know Greg. It worked for a while but you didn't get the results you wanted right away so you just gave up. Change like this takes time and you've got to be willing to stick with it even when you think you can't. This is about adjusting to life without relying on Vicodin and alcohol to ease your pain. It's about trying to deal with the demons of your past so that you can develop healthy long-lasting relationships. It's about learning to communicate with the people you care about, leaning on them for support and being there for them when they need you. It's about you learning to accept and like yourself, not just the brilliant doctor, but the man."

"Change sucks."

Nolan sighed. "Sometimes it does, at the beginning. Once it becomes second-nature, it's not so bad."

"Why do you think I avoided relationships so long?"

"You avoided them because they cause pain."

"Well duh." House rolled his eyes at Nolan.

"Alone is not in our nature. We don't do well alone. Human beings need relationships to thrive. Let me ask you something. Were you happier alone or with Dr. Cuddy?"

"I don't do happy."

"That's your fault. Let me rephrase, were you more content alone or with her?"

"What do you think?"

"I know what I think, but I want to hear you say it."

In an annoyed tone, House replied. "Fine, with her."

"Well, there you go."

"You make it sound simple. When you think about it logically, I am just not ideal relationship material, nor am I the ideal father figure."

"You think too much. Who cares about ideal? Who even defines ideal anyway? You once told me that you had really gotten along with Rachel."

"That kid has no idea how screwed up I am."

"Well, it's true that kids don't have the filter that we develop as adults but that's a good thing. They see people and things for who and what they are. Greg, they don't care about what you've done in the past, they just want to be loved. When Rachel saw you, she really saw you, not all your faults and mistakes."

House looked thoughtful. "Rachel is a good kid, she's perceptive and smart. She's a lot like her mother."

"Nothing about you suggests you wouldn't be a good father. I'm quite certain you would never put a child through what you went through."

"I never thought I'd do a lot of things."

"Put the past in the past where it belongs so you can move on. I know you can't forget it, but I think you've dealt with it enough, don't you think?"

House let out a sigh. "It's hard." He fidgeted a bit with his cane during a few moments of silence. Finally he said, "I've been thinking about my dad a lot lately and...the dreams are back."

Nolan leaned back in his seat. He and House had discussed the dreams he'd had about his father when he was in Mayfield. The memories seemed to recur when House was dealing with severe emotional stress. "You want to talk about it?"

"Not much to tell, it's the same as before. My mind is just rehashing stuff that happened when I was younger."

"What do you think that means?"

"I don't know, that's why I'm talking to you."

"You're worried you're going to screw things up, it's no surprise you hear your father's voice or have the flashbacks. You've got to fight giving in to it."

"What if I can't?"

"You can. There are steps you can take to help you through it. We've gone over them before but we can do it again. Are you ready?"

House nodded.

"Good. First and most importantly is forgiveness. I can't emphasize its power and I won't elaborate more because you're well-versed in this conversation."

House put his head in his hands. "People throw around the word forgiveness like it's nothing."

"Yes, but you don't. So when you forgive someone, you mean it."

House nodded in agreement.

"Now, the next thing is to avoid shoving the memories of your father into the darkest corners of your mind so you won't have to deal with them. When a memory comes to you, acknowledge and accept it, then file away in the proper place. It's your nature to hold things in and then when it becomes too much you lash out. You want to learn to deal with your problems in a constructive manner. If the memory bothers you, talk to someone about it. Talk therapy is still not your favorite but you're doing better. If you simply can't talk, write it out."

"Cuddy had a great father, how could she possibly understand?"

"My guess is she'll understand more than you know."

"I don't need her pity."

"Pity?" Nolan laughed again. "I'd be willing to bed she doesn't pity you."

House smirked. He knew deep down that if there was one thing Cuddy didn't feel for him, it was pity.

Nolan continued his lecture. "Finally, accept that things and people do change. Change is inevitable. You have learned from every experience you've had in your life and these experiences have changed you and that will continue, even if you try and fight it. So, instead of fighting it, embrace it."

House just nodded.

"Greg as much as we've talked about your dad, I know you have good memories of him. Do you think you conjure any of those up in moments when you begin to doubt yourself?"

"I don't know."

"Try."

House took a moment to think about the good memories. "When I was a kid, he took me places. We used to go to the air shows, just the two of us, then we'd go out to eat afterwards. There were times we went fishing. I remember I had a hard time casting the line and he'd do it for me every time. I was afraid to learn how to do it and he showed me, kept showing me till I got the hang of it."

"That's very good Greg, can you come up with others?" Nolan was enjoying the moment because House seemed to have a softer look in his eyes when he spoke about those memories.

"Sometimes he'd let me help him fix the cars, I'd hand him tools and he'd explain what he was doing."

"See, it wasn't all bad."

"I remember when he returned from a deployment, I couldn't wait to see him. I'd sit on the steps in front of the house or in front of the office on the base where he worked. He'd take me for ice cream after he checked in and got settled."

"Did you enjoy it?"

With a slight smile, House replied, "Yeah, I did."

"That's good Greg, very good. You might be interested to know I was doing some research related to PTSD a few months ago and read a report where researchers said negative emotions like fear and sadness trigger increased activity in a part of the brain linked to memories. They say these emotionally charged memories are preserved in greater detail than happy memories, but they may also be subject to distortion."

"So you think I'm making up the bad stuff?"

"Of course not. I'm attempting to explain this by way of scientific method, which I know is something you understand and accept."

House just smirked at how well Nolan knew him. "Go on," he said.

"As I was saying, researchers using MRI have shown that negative events stimulate activity in emotion-processing regions of the brain, such as the orbito-frontal cortex and amygdala. The more these emotional centers are activated by an event, the more likely it is to remember certain details linked to the emotional aspect of the event, and perhaps less likely to remember happier or mundane details of events. The conclusion was that this technique of preserving bad memories may have evolved as an evolutionary tactic to protect against future life-threatening or negative events."

House sat back and sipped his coffee slowly. He was absorbing everything Nolan had said. It made complete sense to him. Meanwhile Nolan watched him intently, knowing he was processing the information in his mind. He knew House well enough not to push him, House would speak when he was ready. Finally, he did.

"I don't get it. Sometimes I am conflicted over my feelings for him. Sometimes I hate him and other times I remember when things were good between us. It wasn't always bad."

"Greg, I'm sure it's difficult to reconcile your feelings about him. I can't explain why your father did the things he did to you, nor will I even attempt it, but it is safe to assume he taught you some good things. Maybe you can find a way to focus on them."

"I don't know."

"In the end, regardless of the fact that he wasn't your biological father, he was the only father you had. He was only human and he made his share of mistakes but he's dead now and the ball is in your court. You can either continue to hate him and let it eat at you and affect your ability to live your life to the fullest or you can forgive him, try to focus on the good things you remember, and move forward. I am in no way telling you what you should do, but you are my patient and I care about you and I want to see you happy. If you forgive him it doesn't mean you're excusing his behavior, it just means you are accepting what happened and moving on. You don't need to reference the bad stuff anymore; those memories add nothing to your life except misery."

"Wow. You give that crap to everyone or did you make it up especially for me?"

Nolan smirked at House. "You know me so well don't you?"

"I had you pegged since day one."

"Sure you did," Nolan said knowingly. He looked at his watch. "Listen, I've got a little more time for another round of pancakes. You up for it?" He asked, pointing at the two empty plates in front of House. He hadn't even realized House had cleaned both plates during their deep discussion.

"Bring. It. On." House smiled, a devilish look in his eyes.

I started this fic in December 2011 and up until August I was able to update weekly, sometimes more often. Now it seems no matter how hard I try, I need about two weeks to publish a chapter. I'm so busy and I just can't seem to find the time to do it any sooner. I just wanted to let you know. I plan for my updates to be posted on Friday or Saturday nights. If the ideas flow and I've got time you will always get them sooner!

I'd like to reassure you that this story will continue and will never be abandoned. I don't know how long it will be, I've not thought about that, I'm just focusing on writing what's in my head.

I really appreciate that you read and review this story. I am honored that you think it's worthy. I'm writing this story for you...the House and Cuddy fans, because you deserve it, we all do. This story is for YOU!

:)