This is it. The last chapter. Thank you for everyone who has read, reviewed, favorite, and followed. I hope that this ending will make everyone happy or at least satisfied. Have a great rest of the week.
Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin.
Merlin impatiently drummed his fingers on his leg. Gwen was pacing around the room, nervously tidying up the place. She had refused to look Merlin in the eye from the moment she stepped through the doors. Lancelot was sitting next to Merlin, also not looking him in the eye. The knight was continually fidgeting, attempting to get comfortable under Merlin's scrutiny. Arthur had begrudgingly left the room for a council meeting. But only after Merlin threatened to feed him rat stew for the next month if he didn't go. When Merlin had woken up, all the knights had piled into the room. Leon and Arthur were the only two that could stand to look Merlin in the eye. The others sat silently, checking for themselves to see if Merlin was awake. It was a rather uncomfortable feeling, being watched like that. Merlin knew why everyone was so uneasy. Darian had cast a spell that made them hate him. One by one, they all left. Leaving only Lancelot and Gwen behind until someone else had free time to watch over Merlin. Lancelot's knee started bouncing and it was then that Merlin decided he had finally had enough.
"I don't blame you so stop blaming yourselves," Merlin snapped. Gwen stopped dusting the cupboards and turned towards Merlin.
"You wouldn't be saying that if you knew what we said," Lancelot said quietly. Merlin groaned. Leave it to his friends to feel worse about the situation than Merlin did.
"Listen, I have a pretty good idea what was said about me. Darian wasn't exactly subtle." The mention of Darian's name got a flinch out of Gwen. Merlin sighed and massaged his brow with his uninjured hand. "You both know how hard it is to fight a magical enchantment. What if I had been the one who said horrible things and forgot all about you?" Merlin asked.
"We'd tell you to forget about it. That it wasn't your fault," Gwen said softly. Merlin nodded.
"Exactly. Quit beating yourselves up about it. I will be fine. Darian is dead. We stopped an evil man," Merlin said strongly. Gwen burst into tears and wrapped her arms around Merlin.
"I still feel terrible. You shouldn't have had to go through this," she sobbed. Merlin rubbed her back soothingly and smile.
"At least the curse is broken. You don't actually hate me and that's what counts." Gwen straightened up and pecked Merlin's cheek before leaving the room to go about her other chores. Merlin turned to Lancelot and noticed the man still wasn't entirely at ease. Merlin reached out and grabbed Lancelot's hand.
"I don't blame you so quit blaming yourself," Merlin repeated. He was starting to feel a bit repetitive. He would probably be having this conversation many more times at the week wore on. At least Leon could talk to Merlin without feeling a great deal of guilt. Though Arthur appeared to be not feeling any shame, Merlin could still sense it. Now all he had to do was get his friends to move on. "You helped save me. You protected me. I can't ask you for anything else," Merlin said. Lancelot gave him a weak smile.
"I made a promise with myself before Darian came to look after you this time. I guess I didn't do so well," Lancelot chuckled. Merlin shook his head.
"Again, you were under a spell. I doubt I could have fought it and I'm the most powerful sorcerer to walk the planet," Merlin responded. Lancelot reached up and ruffled Merlin's hair.
"You're a good friend, Merlin. Better than anyone deserves." As Lancelot said this, there was a knock at the door.
"Come in," Lancelot called. The door opened to reveal Percival and Gwaine shifting nervously from foot to foot.
"I'll give you guys the same speech I gave him," Merlin said, jerking his head towards Lancelot.
"He's telling you not to feel guilty?" Gwaine asked.
"Yeah," Lancelot responded.
"Well, princess wants you at training so we're here to relieve you of Merlin-sitting duty," Gwaine joked. He had a brilliant smile on his face. Merlin scowled.
"You guys don't have to sit here with me," he grumbled. Gwaine's smile fell.
"You didn't see yourself after Arthur got you out of Darian's chambers. I don't ever want to see you that close to death ever again. Do I make myself clear?" Gwaine threatened. Merlin gave him a weak smile.
"Believe me, I don't ever want to be that close to death again either." Lancelot stood up from his chair and kissed the top of Merlin's head.
"I'll see you later, my friend," he said before walking out the door. His cape swaying as he left. Merlin turned towards the two men that were still standing in the doorway.
"Percival, did you ever read to me?" Merlin asked. The memory had been bothering him since he woke up. Merlin wasn't sure if it was his imagination like in Darian's chambers, or if Percival actually took the time to read to Merlin. Percival gave Merlin a small smile.
"Yeah. Everyday. And today's no different," Percival replied, taking a book out from behind his back and showing it to Merlin. Merlin lit up.
"This is one of my favorites!" he exclaimed.
"I asked Geoffrey which ones you liked the most. He gave me this one," Percival explained. He sat down in Lancelot's previously occupied chair and flipped the book open. Gwaine hopped up onto the bed and pulled Merlin into his side.
"Really, guys. I don't blame you. I blame Darian and am glad he's dead," Merlin said. Gwaine squeezed Merlin gently.
"It's just hard, ya know? Knowing that we said those things about you, thought so little about you. I thought I was stronger than that," Gwaine admitted quietly.
"You helped defeat Darian, that's all that matters," Merlin said. With that, Percival opened the book and began reading.
oOoOoOo
"Come on, get up!" Arthur's annoying voice drifted through Merlin's fuzzy brain. Merlin groaned and burrowed deeper into the blankets.
"'M tired," Merlin slurred, trying to ignore Arthur. He felt the blankets being pulled from the bed and onto the floor. Merlin sat up and blinked around the room, surprised to see all the knights already here. Percival had a basket in his arms and Elyan had some blankets.
"Was goin' on?" Merlin grumbled, rubbing his eyes.
"You need to get out of the palace, mate," Gwaine said. He walked over to the bed and pulled Merlin onto his back.
"Why do I need to leave the castle?" Merlin asked, failing to stifle a yawn. Gwaine began to carry him out of the room. At least he wasn't in a bridal carry. He still had an image to maintain with the palace staff.
"Because, fresh air will help the healing process along," Leon explained in a way that only Leon could. Merlin rolled his eyes and burrowed his face into Gwaine's neck.
"Can't you just let me sleep? Don't you guys have jobs to do?" Merlin asked.
"Nope, we cleared the day so that we could spend it with you, outdoors," Elyan explained, reaching up to ruffle Merlin's hair.
"I can't ride a horse," Merlin said, still holding onto the hope that he would get a chance to get back to bed.
"Wow, Gaius must really hate dealing with you in the mornings," Arthur chuckled. From the subsequent yelp that Merlin heard, he assumed someone, probably Leon, swatted Arthur.
"It's not a very far walk. And Gwaine needs to work on strength training anyways," Percival explained.
"Oi! I'm fighting fit!" Gwaine cried out, shifting Merlin so that he was seated in a more stable position on his back.
"With all that mead you drink, you won't be for much longer," Elyan said.
"I do get other forms of exercise," Gwaine muttered.
"He could sleep his way through an enemy camp and still be able to fight with all that…cardio he gets in," Percival chuckled. Merlin smiled. Maybe going out today wasn't such a bad idea. Lord knows he was getting restless. Next time he was strung up by his wrists, he would probably just hang there to avoid a broken ankle.
A few minutes later Gwaine set Merlin down on the grass. It was still slightly damp with the morning dew.
"Wait 'til I put a blanket down!" Elyan cried. "We don't need him catching something." Merlin rolled his eyes.
"I'm not fragile. I can stand being a tad wet," he said. All the same, Percival gently moved Merlin to the blanket that Elyan had set down next to a tree. Merlin had no doubt that they purposefully picked this spot so that Merlin could lean against something. Merlin was secretly pleased with this. Leon sat down next to Merlin and began rifling through the basket Percival had been carrying.
"I'm starting to think cook loves you," he said, pulling out some rolls and fruits and handing them to Merlin. "She has never given me anything like this when I was injured," Leon said. Merlin smiled and took a bite of the roll. The other knights plopped down and began digging through the basked, each pulling out what they wanted for breakfast.
"See, I told you fresh air would do you some good," Gwaine said after swallowing a bite of ham.
"Yes, alright. This is way better than staying in a room all day," Merlin admitted. The group returned to a comfortable silence as they continued to eat. After awhile, Gwaine decided to swipe the last sweetmeat, leading to Percival chasing him around the clearing. Soon, all but Leon and Merlin were participating in some weird chase, trying to get the last sweetmeat from Gwaine. Merlin chuckled as Elyan tripped Arthur and went to jump on Percival's back.
"You're alright?" Leon asked from his spot beside Merlin. Merlin turned to face the knight.
"I am," he answered. Leon sighed.
"Merlin, what you went through was horrible. You can't keep this all bottled up. It will only destroy you," Leon said.
"Why does everyone think I'm just going to crack like some fragile glass doll?" Merlin snapped. Leon sighed and ran a hand through his hair.
"Well, I kept everything bottled up and eventually it all became too much. I almost threw myself off the turrets," Leon admitted. Merlin stared at the knight.
"What happened?" he asked.
"Routine patrol. We were ambushed. I was taken by a man who wanted to get revenge on Uther for killing his wife during the purge. Kept me for two days before I managed to escape. Worst two days of my life. Well that and when Morgana took over. And when I found out what Darian had done to you," Leon explained. Merlin swallowed and leaned back against the tree.
"Why didn't you kill yourself?"
"One of my friends found me. He talked me down. After that I became much more open and actually healed faster than before," Leon admitted.
"I'm sorry," Merlin whispered. Leon smiled and ruffled Merlin's hair playfully.
"I just don't want you to make the same mistake. Even if it isn't with one of us, you need to find someone you can talk to. Someone you trust."
"Even if that person is you?"
"I'd be honored," Leon said before returning to watch the knights chase each other around like children.
"These are the people that are supposed to be protecting Camelot," Merlin chuckled.
"It could be worse. Lord Edwin's sons could have actually passed the tests." Merlin groaned at the thought. Lord Edwin had three sons, all of whom were more prattish than Arthur on a bad day. They believed that everything was entitled to them based on their status and thought that they were the best fighters in all of Albion. Too bad they didn't even last a second against Arthur. Leon always said showier footwork didn't make for a better fighting form. The two returned to silence. Finally Merlin spoke.
"The hardest part was not thinking anyone would come," he said, his voice barely above a whisper. Leon wrapped an arm around Merlin's shoulders and pulled him closer into his side, listening to as Merlin began to talk through what were the hardest parts of his capture. Not laughing or scrutinizing Merlin in anyway. Eventually, the other knights returned to the blanket and listened as Merlin continued to recount what had happened in the room. When Merlin go to the part about the hallucinations Arthur gasped.
"Now your reaction to me when I rescued you makes more sense," Arthur said. Merlin glanced down at his hands.
"Sorry. But after fake you, Gwaine, Leon, and Lancelot, I kind of wanted to be sure."
"You have nothing to be sorry for. I'm sorry it took so long to find you," Arthur admitted. Merlin gave him a weak smile.
"I think we all feel a little guilty with what happened," Leon said, shifting under Merlin's weight.
"We should head back. Gaius will want to check us all out," Percival said. This time it was Arthur that pulled Merlin onto his back instead of Gwaine.
"Aren't you worried about your image?" Merlin asked, tightening his arms around Arthur's neck and reveling in the sense of security he got.
"If anyone has anything to say, they'll have to go through me," Leon growled.
"And me," Gwaine said.
"I wouldn't mind knocking a few heads," Elyan added.
"I'll just be an opposing force of nature and scare them all into submission," Percival added.
"I think we've got you covered," Lancelot said with a light chuckle. Merlin smiled and rested his head back onto Arthur's shoulder.
oOoOoOo
Arthur was jolted awake by a cry.
"No, no please don't! Arthur! Help!" Merlin sobbed. Arthur realized that he was having a nightmare and went to quickly wake Merlin up.
"Merlin, wake up. You're safe. Darian's gone," Arthur said. He sat up and began stroking Merlin's forehead while Merlin continued to thrash about the bed. Arthur bit his lip, wondering if he should go get Leon. Leon was one of the only people who could bring Merlin out of his panic attacks and had to be dragged to the room several times throughout the month to help the boy relax. Arthur didn't want to wake the man now, but he might if Merlin didn't wake up soon.
"Arthur, please help!" Merlin whimpered. Arthur pulled Merlin to the center of the bed so that he would fall onto the ground and shook Merlin gently.
"I'm right here, Merlin. I'm not going to let anything happen to you," he said. Merlin's eyes flew open and he bolted into Arthur's arms. He was still struggling though.
"Merlin, you have to calm down. You're safe," Arthur pleaded as Merlin stopped struggling and dissolved into a sobbing mess. Arthur held him and carefully stroked the boy's hair.
"Sorry," Merlin muttered after several minutes of Arthur stroking his hair and whispering soothing nonsense into his ear. Arthur pulled back.
"What are you sorry about?" he asked, brushing some hair out of Merlin's eyes. Merlin shrugged and wiped his nose with his sleeve.
"Not being able to heal faster," he muttered. Arthur sighed and gathered Merlin back into his arms.
"Merlin, I do not think you are weak for having a nightmare," Arthur said. Merlin snorted.
"How about waking up and sobbing on your shoulder for ten minutes?" Merlin asked.
"I know men that broke under less. The fact that you are still fighting to get better and not letting this experience destroy you is amazing. You are strong and one of the bravest men I know," Arthur said. Merlin shook his head and began shaking.
"No, I'm not. I let Darian take me. I let him almost kill you and the others." Arthur smiled. Only Merlin would think that dragging himself along the corridor to try and save his master after being brutally tortured for several days wasn't enough.
"Merlin, you are amazing. What you did was amazing. If we're not allowed to feel guilty for forgetting you and hating you, then you aren't allowed to feel guilty for whatever you're feeling guilty about," Arthur chuckled. Despite all of Merlin's protests that he had done something wrong, Arthur had yet to figure out anything that Merlin could be directly blamed for. The knights had sided with Darian, no matter how temporary. They had that on their conscience. Arthur had given Merlin to Darian, despite Merlin's protests. He also dragged his feet in actually trying to find Merlin. Arthur thought back to when he first started having suspicions of Darian. That had been the second day. But Arthur had wanted Darian to be nice and kind so he let Merlin suffer much longer than needed. If Arthur had gone to Darian's chambers as soon as he had these feelings of doubt instead of questioning people to gauge their reactions, maybe this entire thing could have been avoided. But Merlin, Merlin had nothing that he was guilty of. He hadn't abandoned his friends. He had fought back despite believing that no one was coming to get him. He even managed to help defeat Darian by breaking the curse and giving Arthur the weapon that could kill the monster. Despite all of this, Merlin was still feeling guilty. Arthur decided that he had to make this right. Merlin sniffed and looked up.
"What if I'm never the same again?" he asked. Arthur rubbed circles on Merlin's back and thought about his answer.
"You won't ever be the same again. You'll learn from this experience and grow from it. It'll help you become a stronger person, should you allow it," Arthur said with wisdom not even he thought he was capable of. Merlin snorted.
"Since when did you become so wise?"
"I have a friend. He's a complete idiot. Ridiculous ears and a ridiculous smile. But he has his moments of wisdom. I guess I learned from him," Arthur replied. He felt Merlin relax in his arms.
"You'll have to introduce us sometime," he yawned. Arthur wondered if Merlin knew he was talking about him. Arthur squeezed Merlin to his chest and laid back down.
"I'm proud of you, Merlin," he whispered.
"I don't think I deserve that," Merlin said. Arthur pulled up some blankets that had been tangled during Merlin's nightmare.
"Then I'm going to keep saying it until you believe me. You are the best friend I ever had. I want you to know so that you can get better," Arthur replied. Merlin sighed and for a moment, Arthur thought he was asleep.
"Did you kiss me?" Merlin asked. Arthur furrowed his brow.
"What? No, I don't think so," Arthur said. He didn't think he had kissed Merlin during his nightmare. Though when Merlin was asleep Arthur sometime found himself kissing the top of Merlin's head or forehead. Merlin sighed.
"I think when you were carrying me out of Darian's chambers, you kissed my forehead," Merlin explained. Arthur bit his lip. That entire night had been kind of a blur. Arthur didn't even remember most of it. Merlin's screams as he reset his ankle and shoulder had been something that haunted Arthur's dreams though, no matter how much he tried to make it go away.
"I suppose it's not out of the question, since you are a girl," Arthur retorted. He heard Merlin mutter and insult and smiled. Things were going to return to normal, so long as Arthur was here for Merlin.
"Thanks for staying with me. I don't know if I could do this alone," Merlin whispered after several moments of silence. Arthur was stunned. It was so unlike Merlin to admit that he needed anyone. Despite the fact that he had opened up to Leon the day of the picnic, the knights still needed to wheedle information out of the boy to ensure that he was still doing okay. Arthur hoped that this new, more open side of Merlin wasn't just the result of him being slightly asleep. Either way, Arthur felt the need to reassure Merlin one last time that he was amazing and important.
"After all you've done for me, it's only fair." And with that, they both fell asleep.
oOoOoOo
Merlin shifted nervously in his chair. It had been nearly a month since the whole Darian incident. He was almost healed, though he still couldn't put any weight on his ankle and his arm was still bound to his chest. Merlin looked around Arthur's chambers and sighed. Beside him, Arthur patted his shoulder.
"You'll be fine. You deserve this," he said. Merlin smiled and stared at the door.
"I just don't want her to worry. She worries to much already and after hearing about this…" Merlin trailed off.
"She would have found out eventually. This way, she can see you're alright," Arthur said.
"Shouldn't we have waited until I was completely healed?" Merlin asked. Arthur shook his head.
"You're bruises are all gone. Your cuts don't look that bad. You're not wheezing. Merlin, she is your mother. She'll want to know and she'll want to help," Arthur explained. Merlin nodded. It was collectively decided amongst the knights, Gwen, and Gaius that Hunith should be made aware of Merlin's condition. Gwaine and Lancelot went to Ealdor so that they could bring her to Camelot, since Merlin wasn't well enough to make the three day journey. Merlin shifted again and craned his neck, trying to see out the window.
"Stop that. You'll put a crick in your neck," he scolded. He rubbed Merlin's shoulder, trying to provide him with an anchor and a source of support.
"She'll be so worried," Merlin said.
"She has a good reason. You did almost die," Arthur replied. In all honesty, he was very worried about meeting Hunith again. He knew that he had saved her son, but somehow he was still worried that she would hate him after she found out that it was he who allowed Darian access to Merlin. There was a knock on the door followed by Lancelot opening it and leading Hunith into the large room. She took one look at Merlin before rushing to him and embracing him. Lancelot gave Arthur a small bow before leaving the room to give them some privacy.
"Oh my sweet child. I was so worried when those knights showed up," Hunith sobbed. Merlin smiled and relaxed in his mother's embrace.
"I'm fine, mother. They should have told you that," he said. Hunith sat back and stared at Merlin.
"You look thinner than the last time I saw you. Oh, they didn't tell me everything that had happened," Hunith said. Arthur had a feeling he shouldn't be imposing on the moment and went to excuse himself from the room.
"Oh no you don't," Hunith exclaimed before pulling Arthur into a hug. Arthur stiffened momentarily before relaxing slightly.
"I was told that you save Merlin from that man," Hunith said. Arthur nodded. He didn't want to say that it was him that gave Merlin to that man in the first place.
"Let's go talk in the hall. Merlin, I'll be right back," Hunith said. Merlin smiled and kissed his mother on the cheek. She led Arthur out into the hallway. Before Hunith could say anything, Arthur began to apologize.
"Hunith, I am so sorry. I promised I would keep Merlin safe and instead I give him to a man and nearly get him killed!" Arthur exclaimed. He was valiantly fighting to keep tears from flooding his eyes. Hunith pulled Arthur into another embrace.
"You saved him. He's still alive because you fought against a man who you had considered to be your friend. You trusted Darian to keep Merlin safe and when that trust was broken, you decided to help Merlin. I can't ask for anything else." Arthur gripped Hunith harder and continued to hold himself together. After a long while, the two broke apart.
"I'm sure you want to see Merlin. He's missed you a lot," Arthur said. Hunith gave him a smile and turned to go back into the room. Arthur decided to give the two some time alone and went down to the training field. Hunith had lifted a great weight off of Arthur's shoulders. He now didn't feel the crushing guilt he had before when it came to Merlin and what had happened. It was a feeling that Arthur reveled in. For the first time in a long time, it felt as though everyone was moving towards a healing direction. He was still feeling the guilt of everything that had happened. But if Hunith, whose son still couldn't walk due to an injury that never should have happened, could forgive Arthur, then Arthur could start to forgive himself.
Merlin was talking with Leon about his experience and not keeping everything bottled up. The knights' guilt over their treatment of Merlin was beginning to decrease with each passing day. And the kingdom in general was beginning to accept Arthur as their new leader. Things were definitely looking up for Camelot.
Finished. Yay! Hopefully that was up to your expectations. Hunith's scene was fun to write and I feel that she doesn't get enough mention in the fanfiction world. Neither does Lord Geoffrey of Monmouth, but I'll remedy that in the Great Escapes of Camelot. I'll be starting another story this week as well so be on the look out for that. Have a great rest of the week.