CHAPTER SIX
Hugging herself against the late November chill, Yukina trudged ahead, keeping her head down. At this hour, only a few people wandered the streets of the shopping district. One by one the lights within the stores extinguished. The wind whipped through the buildings causing Yukina to shiver. She wished she brought her jacket Genkai had given her, but she stupidly left that at the temple. Then again, she never expected to be out this late. Yukina scoffed. Look at how well that turned out.
"…string of unusual animal related crimes within the past few days."
Hearing the voice of a woman in her ear, Yukina stopped and turned. The image of a smartly dressed news anchor was emblazoned on a half dozen TV screens in a store window front. "Three days ago a new employee released all the animals at the pound before fleeing the scene. Then the receptionist assaulted a vet who was about to administer a rabies shot to a dog as well as the dog's owner. And yesterday someone led a child into a lion's cage."
The man sitting at the desk beside the reporter marveled, "It's a miracle that no one was severely injured during these events."
"Yes, however, the number of missing animals following these crimes is quite large."
"Who could have committed these atrocities? Some misguided animal lover?"
The female news anchor shook her head, disgusted. "Perhaps. But it sounds more like twisted and perverse sociopath who enjoys endangering innocent animals and engaging in animal cruelty."
Twisted and perverse sociopath… Yukina thought, smiling bitterly. Sounds like what Tarukane called us ice maidens. Ducking her head, Yukina continued walking down the sidewalk, leaving the TVs behind, but not their words.
What are you doing, you imbecile? What, do you think you're some hero? Well, you're not! You've just ruined me!
Yukina closed her eyes at the memory of the pound's owner shouting at her. But all the animals looked so old and sickly in those dark cages… They begged me to release them. I could see it in their eyes. I didn't know that you founded your livelihood on raising them…
She just attacked Dr. Akagi! Someone stop her! Someone stop her before she hurts someone else!
Yukina wrapped the front of her kimono tighter. I just wanted to protect that poor basset hound from that nasty shot. I didn't realize that shot helped prevent the dog from getting a disease. Had I known, I never would have knock that vet unconscious. I don't want to hurt anyone.
A blood curling scream ripped through Yukina's head. That woman! She kidnapped my baby! They're inside the lion's cage! That monster is going to let him be ripped apart!
Yukina halted, her body trembling from head to toe. The boy wanted to see the lions up close and asked for my help. All animals are tame around me, even the biggest of predators, so I think there would be a problem if we got a bit closer. I certainly wouldn't have stood by and watched the boy been torn limb from limb. I'm not… I'm not a monster!
A plinking sound shattered her thoughts. Startled, Yukina snapped her eyes open. A small yellow orb lying on the sidewalk glinted in the streetlamp's light up at her. A tear gem. An ice cold hand of fear seized her heart and squeezed. What if a person strolling by saw her produce the gem? They would take her and torture her to make more. Her hand shot out to pick it up.
I'm didn't mean to…
But there was no one heard her silent pleas and attempts to justify herself. No one listened to her anyway. She was too small and too frail for anyone to take her seriously.
Another plink sound. Yukina looked down to see another yellow gem beside her hand. She snatched up the second gem.
And just what was her defense? She didn't know. She didn't realize. She didn't think. What kind of justification was that?
Yukina's lower lip trembled as several more gems fell from her eyes. Then she gasped. No, no, no. Stop crying. You're stronger than this.
A memory enveloped Yukina.
Growling, Yukina jerked against the restraints on her wrists and ankles. Whenever a guard came too close to her chair, she shot them an icy blast, forcing them to keep their distance. She just had to keep up this ploy for a moment longer then she could freeze the metal bands and shatter them. No more being alone, dread curling in her stomach as she waited for hours on end. No more pain or challenging herself to endure more bruises, cuts, and burns without crying. No more listening to the whispered words of Tarukane in her ear, telling her that she was—
Something yanked on her hair, and Yukina's head slammed against the back of metal chair. Stars danced in her vision. Words hissed in her ear. "You don't think I realize what you're trying to do, bastard?"
Tarukane. Yukina renewed her struggle with a vengeance.
Tarukane yanked on her hair again. Yukina tasted blood in her mouth. "You think that you can escape? Well, let's see what happens if your little 'plan' succeeded. You'll break free from your chains. Then you'll have to face my men. Assuming that you'd have the strength to overpower them, which you don't, then you'll be outside the room. Let's say you know the layout of the building, which I've have been quite careful to ensure that you don't know. Even if you are able to defat all of my men did you learn of the many mutant beats I have lurking in the basement? They could crush a man with one paw. You could never even entertain the possibility of escaping.
"But since this is a fun game, let's not stop there, shall we? All right, you've reached the front door. You open it …and realize that you don't have any idea where the mansion is. Surely it's in the Human Realm, but do you where exactly in the world it is? If you don't know where, then how can you return to the Demon Realm?
"But let's imagine that by some miracle you did return to the Demon Realm. So what? No one is waiting for you. No one misses you. No one cares about you. And while you are in the middle of realizing this, someone else will capture you. Maybe another human, but probably a demon. And they'll be a lot worse.
"Don't you see now that if it isn't me who has is tormenting you for tear gems that it'll be someone much worse? And I'm quite generous. I only come to you when I need the money. I'm not trying to stockpile your tears and sell them to the world at large. But a demon wouldn't have such qualms with tearing you limb from limb if it meant that you would cry unceasingly. ,
"In short…" Tarukane released Yukina's hair to stand in front of her. His greasy smile was punctured by a smoking cigar. After taking a long drag, smiling all the while, he took out the cigar and blew out of a cloud of smoke. He twirled the cigar in his fat bejeweled fingers. "You don't have the strength, the intelligence, or the help to escape. So what does that make the thing in front of me?"
Tarukane crushed his lit cigar into the center of Yukina's forehead, making sure to dig it in. Yukina didn't flinch.
"You are so worthless as a race that your kind evolved to create tears that would harden into priceless gems. So you see, I am just helping your evolution along. Why, under my tutelage, maybe you'll learn how to change your sweat into diamonds.
"But above all, never forget this, my student. You are weak. You are brainless. You are alone. You are not a person, but a thing. A freak of nature. The only thing of any worth about you is your tears, your misery and pain, are such a treasure to others. So tell me again…" Tarukane leaned in close to Yukina's face and grinned. "What were you trying to do earlier?"
Yukina glared at Tarukane, her eyes brimming with ice so cold it burned. Her fists clenched fists drew blood from her hand. She clamped her jaw so hard her teeth ached. Her whole body was a tightly wound spring, ready to uncoil at any moment. The air reeked of tension.
Yukina sagged against her chair. A yellow orb fell from her eye.
Smirking, Tarukane fisted the orb from her lap and straightened. He admired the orb in the light. "Ah, beautiful." He looked down at Yukina, whose surrender leaked out from her every pore. He patted her head. "There's a good girl. Maybe you do have a bit of intelligence after all."
His laughter echoed in her ears long after he left. She brimmed with hate; she could feel its metallic taste in her mouth. Its steady, pulsing heartbeat pumping its black waves through her. The desire to rip something to shreds left her trembling. Yes, she could feel hate's thrumming through her entire body.
But not hate for Tarukane.
For herself.
Yukina jerked out of her reverie at the sounds of a dozen orbs hitting the sidewalk like hail. She scrambled to gather the orbs with her two hands, but there were too many to hold. They slipped out her hands and rolled out of her reach, disappearing into the shadows. A few clattered down a sewer gate, impossible for her to reclaim.
A freak of nature… Too weak, stupid, and helpless to escape from the grasp of a powerless human. Because I was too scared to stand up for myself, a pushover is all people will ever see of me. I can't do anything special. I'm worthless. Yukina held the tightly grasped orbs to her chest as a flood of new orbs cascaded down from her eyes. All that matters to others is my pain and anguish.
"Yukina-san?"
Confused, Yukina lifted her head to see a figure standing just beyond the glow of a streetlamp. They stepped forward.
"Kazuma-san?" Yukina breathed.
"Are you all right?" Kuwabara asked, his face scrunched up in worry. Crouching down besides her, Kuwabara gazed at Yukina's puffy face. "What's wrong?"
Unable to speak, Yukina stammered, "U-Uh…"
An object glinting in the light caught Kuwabara's eye. "What's this?" Kuwabara picked up one of Yukina's crystal tear gems and examined it. His face darkened for a moment before he turned away and began collecting its companions. "Don't want anyone to lay their hands on these."
How can this be? Yukina marveled. The image of Kuwabara defending her from those thugs who harassed her flashed through her mind. How can it be that every time I need help Kazuma-san is there? Then she shook her head. I'm reading a series of coincidences too deeply. There's no hidden meaning to be found.
"Here."
"Huh?" Yukina jerked. She looked up to see Kuwabara standing over her, his hand extended to her. "Oh." As he helped her stand, Yukina looked behind her. "A few tumbled down the sewer gate."
"It's all right. I'm sure it'll become so dirty that it'll be unrecognizable. Don't worry about it."
I guess, Yukina thought, I was just getting worked up over nothing. He patted her shoulder, smiling down at her. Hesitantly, Yukina returned his smile. Putting his arm around her shoulders, Kuwabara gently herded Yukina down the street. "Um, Kazuma-san, where are we going?"
Kuwabara pointed to their left. The glow of the streetlamps and the bulbs of fireflies illuminated a field of grass. Squinting her eyes, Yukina made out a familiar bench under a tree. "Is that the park we visited?"
"Uh huh. I figure that it'll be best to stay off the streets for now."
Because I'm a mess, Yukina finished. But relief bubbled within her at the thought. She nodded her thanks.
A silence stretched out between them after they had settled down on the bench. Unsure of how to explain her meltdown, Yukina said nothing. Making circles in the grass with her sandal, she thought, It's not like he would understand if you did.
Kuwabara gripped the bench's edge on either side of his legs. After a moment, he hung his head and sighed. "I'm sorry."
"What?" Yukina gasped. Turning to her companion, Yukina pressed a fist over her heart. "What do you need to apologize for?"
Not meeting her eyes, Kuwabara drummed his fingers against the bottom of the bench. "Well, um, ya see…" No, he scolded himself, Face her like a man. Kuwabara looked up and held her gaze. "In my eagerness for us to be… closer to each other, I made an assumption about our relationship. I overstepped my bounds. I apologize."
Yukina's lips parted. "A freak of nature…" Exhaling, Yukina lowered her eyes and turned to face forward. She gripped her kimono until her knuckles became white.
Confused, Kuwabara asked, "Yukina-san?" Worry lined the edges of voice as he prodded, "What's wrong?"
"Why," murmured Yukina, "would you want to be closer to me?"
"What?" She didn't just say what he thought she said …did she?
"Why would you want to be closer to me?"
The words burst out of Kuwabara like a stampeding rhino. "What are you talking about?!" When Yukina didn't respond, Kuwabara scooted closer. He put an arm on the back of the bench and talked with his hands. "Why wouldn't anyone not want to be close to you? You're the kindest, sweetest person I ever met! Always noble and considerate, you always think of other people before yourself. And you're beautiful! So beautiful. Your laugh reminds of a gentle wind brushing the tops of the trees. Your smile, it's like, it's like… like a ray of sunshine after a storm. It's infectious. Like a virus." Frantically waving his hands, Kuwabara corrected himself, "I mean, not like in a bad way! It's just that, well you know how viruses multiple a lot and all—like a hundred times over—and so your smile can make a hundred people smile, too…" Seeing Yukina's lack of a reaction, Kuwabara's words faded away like the mist breathed onto a window. She's not listening… No, it's not that she's not listening, it's that she doesn't even hear me.
"It's that bastard Tarukane, right?"
Yukina flinched, her body going rigid and her eyes squeezing tight.
"I'm sorry; I didn't mean to scare ya. But it's him, right?"
The moment dragged on like the last minute of darkness before a new day. Numbly, Yukina nodded.
Kuwabara closed his eyes. I knew it. A tsunami of anger rose up within him, begging to be unleashed to wipe out all memory of Tarukane. Calm down. Yukina-san doesn't need your anger. She needs… to hear the truth.
"I don't know what that scum Tarukane told you, but it isn't true. No matter what anyone says, no matter what they think…" Kuwabara cupped his hand over Yukina's fist and gazed into her red eyes. "No matter what you believe about yourself, there is no person in all the three realms that is stronger than you."
"W-What?" Yukina breathed. How could he be telling jokes at a time like this? Tears seeping into her voice, Yukina whisper shouted, "The strongest of all three realms? Me?"
There was such an air of solemn rightness surrounding Kuwabara that her protests died when he asserted, "Absolutely.
"I am completely convinced you are the strongest of all of us, even stronger than Urameshi; Kurama-kun; the shrimp, Hiei; and me."
"What are you talking about?!" Yukina cried, shaking her head. This was just too ridiculous to be true she couldn't remain silent. "Yusuke-san is so mighty and powerful I'm sure he could have blasted the mansion to shreds. Knowing how resourceful and brilliant Kurama-san is, he could have escaped in no time. Hiei-san can stoically endure any pain. And, Kazuma-san, you're so loyal that you never would have answered their questions. With a fiery spirit like yours, you never would have given up hope. But I'm…" Blinking rapidly, Yukina swallowed. "I'm none of those things."
Kuwabara shook his head. "Sorry, Yukina-san, but you're wrong. If any of the four of us got captured and tortured, wouldn't that change us? Think about it. Urameshi, so obsessed with strength, would never stop training in the Demon Realm, determined that no one would ever be so powerful that he would never be abused like that again. Kurama-kun, already very cynical and jaded, might lose his faith in humanity and demonkind, and maybe even in himself. Hiei would probably disappear, whether it's because he never forget the isolation and abandonment he felt while being tortured or his fear that anyone associated with him would be tortured as well. And me… Well." Kuwabara let out laugh. "I'm not as brave as you make me out to be. This is the guy who wanted to attend a Megallica concert instead of fighting Sensui and save the world, after all." Kuwabara smiled but there was no mirth behind it.
"Kazuma-san…" Yukina was touched, but where was he going with all of this?
Giving Yukina a thumbs-up, Kuwabara grinned, "But yer right about one thing. You're not like any of them.
"Although it's been ten forevers ago, I remember the time I first met ya extremely clearly. When I glimpsed into your memory and witnessed part of your torture, my stomach churned with disgust and horror. All I could think of was that I had to apologize to you somehow. To try my hardest to make it up to you, even as I was sure that you would be left traumatized. To heal your wounds, even as you healed mine. So I begged. I tried to tell you that not all of humanity was as heartless and cruel, even though I was convinced that you couldn't hear me.
"But then, you just smiled and said 'Don't worry! I don't hate humans at all.' And you, you entreated Hiei to not kill the man who had caused you nothing but pain for years." Kuwabara shut his eyes momentarily and swallowed hard. Then he opened his eyes and smiled gently at Yukina, his eyes shining slightly. "I can't think of anyone who would come out of that nightmare smiling. Your pure and kind heart, that's your strength, Yukina-san. That's what makes you so special."
Kuwabara paused, then he placed a hand behind his head and laughed. "Sorry, that sounded cheesy, didn't it? I'm not all that good with words, as you know with the whole virus bit… And look," Kuwabara added, becoming serious again. "Even if you still have trouble believing all that, the moment in which you told me that you didn't hate humans was the, er—best? Most important?—moment of my life. Whenever I'm frustrated or sick of this world, your words echo through my mind and I smile. I guess what I'm trying to say is that you inspire me. And, well," Kuwabara sheepishly smiled, "that counts for something, right?"
Like the birth of spring after a long winter, the cold sting of doubt fled from Yukina's heart, replaced with a warmth that spilled forth.
"Hey, what's that?"
Yukina looked down to see a sparkling deep blue orb sitting in her lap. Then another fell onto her lap and another. She pressed a hand to her eye, and removed it to behold another gem in her hand. Baffled, the ice demon murmured, "I… I don't understand…" Why am I crying? I'm not sad. In fact, I'm actually pretty—
"It's beautiful."
Kuwabara peered at one of the orbs pinched within his fingers. "In the light it's actually a blueish green. It's beautiful." Then he glimpsed Yukina watching him and he grinned.
Smirking, Tarukane fisted the orb from her lap and straightened. He admired the orb in the light. "Ah, beautiful."
How can this be? Yukina marveled, as new orbs flooded forth. How can there be a world of a difference between them when they said the same thing?
Smiling, Yukina rubbed her eyes, sending the gems into the grass. But she hardly cared. In fact, she wanted others to see them; it was proof of this wonderful moment.
Kuwabara raised an eyebrow. "You okay?"
Yukina nodded and moved closer to him. She wrapped her arms around his torso, burying her head in his chest, inhaling deeply. I don't know if I'll be able to like myself. I'm not capable of much. But…
"Y-Yukina-san?"
A smile of content curling her lips, Yukina closed her eyes. But if I stay by Kazuma-san's side, maybe one day I'll be able to say that I'm okay with myself.
Yukina felt Kuwabara hesitantly place his hand on her back. Then, with a surge of confidence, he held her closer and rubbed her back. He rested his chin on her head, whispering, "It's all right, Yukina-san. You don't have to believe in those things he told you any longer. You can let it all go. You can let it all go."