A/N: Sorry I couldn't update last weekend but I had a lot going on. I worked on this over a period of a week or so when I had time. I appreciate everyone encouraging me on, your comments mean a great deal to me. This story goes until the characters say it's time to bring it to a close. Trust me when I say I do not see an end in sight. :)

Now, where were we? The last chapter took place just before the weekend. I believe House has been there five days as of the day this chapter begins...

A few days passed and House and Cuddy had gotten into somewhat of a routine. Their first weekend together since House returned was busy as they spent time doing some necessary things around the house. Cuddy found that House was actually a decent repairman and after a few minor projects, and a healthy dose of whining, he helped her put together the new swing for Rachel in the backyard. Afterwards, House, Cuddy and Rachel enjoyed a barbecue with Sharon and Hannah. On Monday morning, Cuddy decided to restart her yoga routine so she woke up at five o'clock on the morning while House slept in till six. When House woke, he got Rachel out of bed and made breakfast for the three of them while Cuddy got Rachel ready for school. A few hours later, House and Cuddy sat at the dining room table drinking coffee and munching on toasted bagels.

"How's everything going with the insurance companies?" House asked, looking over his glasses at her, as he flipped through the comics.

"It's okay, just lots of things to keep track of like bills and correspondence."

"You're good at that."

"Maybe but it's still a pain in the ass."

"We should get your things out of the car."

"I know. I just didn't want to do it alone."

"Wanna do it this morning?"

"I guess."

"Where's it at?"

"Hector's Towing and Salvage. Their card is on the fridge."

"Well," he said. He got up and limped into the kitchen, taking the card out from under the refrigerator magnet. "No time like the present."

An hour later, House pulled up at Hector's Towing and Salvage, shut off the ignition and looked over at Cuddy. "You ready?"

"I have to do it sometime," she groaned.

They got out of the car and headed inside the shop where the manager gave Cuddy her keys and belongings which were held for safekeeping. After signing the papers acknowledging receipt, she told House she wanted to see the car. He tried to talk her out of it but she insisted. They walked outside past a row of cars until they came to her totaled Lexus. Cuddy stopped suddenly and gasped.

"Oh my God."

They stood there side by side looking at the wreckage of Cuddy's car. The rear driver side was smashed from the initial impact of the truck and the passenger side was smashed in from the impact of the tree. The passenger door was pushed in to where the middle console should have been. The car was almost in a v-shape from the impact of the tree. House looked over at Cuddy who was visibly shaken. She began to sob hysterically and House did the only thing he could do, he put his arms around her and held her to him while she cried. They remained like that for a few minutes. Cuddy finally stopped crying and looked up at him.

"Listen, you sure you want to do this?"

"No, but I have to." She moved toward the car and placed her hand on it. Suddenly, her pulse quickened and she got lightheaded. She leaned forward against the back of the car in an effort to keep herself from falling. House noticed immediately something was wrong.

"Cuddy!" He moved forward quickly to prevent her from falling. "Are you okay?" She was on the verge of hyperventilating and House encouraged her to take slow, deep breaths. He held her back close against his chest and in a low, soft voice, he said, "Breathe with me Cuddy, just breathe slow, pace yourself." In a few minutes she was feeling better and House left here there for a moment, holding onto the car while he took a quick peek in the car and glove compartment to be sure all her personal items were really out of it. Once he confirmed it, it he took her gently by the arm and said, "Come on, there's nothing left in there, let's go."

In the car, Cuddy was silent. He didn't know what to say to make her feel better. He wasn't one to offer words of compassion just for the hell of it but he had to do something.

"What are you thinking?" He asked. She just sat motionless staring out the window.

House turned down the next street, pulled up at the curb and turned the ignition off. He turned to her, hoping she would talk to him. Finally she spoke.

"I thought I was okay, till I saw the car. I mean…I was in that thing. I could have died. What about Rachel? You and me?" She started sobbing again. House leaned over her into the glove compartment and grabbed a napkin, handing it to her. She nodded her thanks.

"I don't know what I can say to make you feel better. Yeah it was pretty bad and it could have been worse but here you are, alive and okay."

"But what if—"

"You can ask 'what if' all day long but it doesn't change anything. It makes no difference. What is…just is and we move on."

"I know, it's just hard that's all."

House put both hands on the steering wheel and looked straight ahead. "Cuddy, what happened to you was pretty traumatic even if you came out of it fine. It's going to be hard, but I know you, and if anyone can deal with this, you can." He smiled at her and put her hand on her knee."If you need to talk about it, I'm not really good at this sort of thing, but I'll try."

"You're doing fine." She smiled back. "Come on let's go, we've got some stops to make."

Several hours later, House and Cuddy were sitting at the round table on her back porch sifting through insurance paperwork and listening to Bernie and friends play their music.

"That guy is really good," House remarked. "How often do they play?"

"He and his friends practice a few days a week. Some of them are retired professors, others used to play professionally, and they're just a group of old guys who get together, drink wine, eat good food and play their instruments. You should meet him sometime. Rachel loves to listen to him play."

House grunted his acknowledgement and then opened an envelope and read its contents rather intently. He waved it at Cuddy. "Looks like your lawyer is on the ball, this is an itemized list of the doctor bills your insurance company has paid so far. He also sent you back your copy of the contract. You trust this guy?"

"Yeah, he's a good guy."

House looked at her, one eyebrow cocked curiously. "So you know him personally?"

"Oh geez, House, no, I don't know him that personally. Sharon recommended him. He helped her sort through things after her husband died. He's a friend of one of her friends. He's a good lawyer."

"We'll see," he said sarcastically.

"What's that supposed to mean? Not all lawyers are crooked."

"Name one."

Cuddy thought for a moment. "Stacy."

"Seriously? That's the best you could come up with?"

"He's been really helpful. He did some digging and found out the guy who hit me has a history of reckless driving. Jack says he's been cited but I don't know what's going to happen to him. Apparently the company he worked for knew this and let him continue driving the company vehicles."

"You could sue him."

"I just want the insurance stuff settled, I don't need anything else."

"You're so honest." He said, smirking at her as he continued rifling through her mail.

"Only you could make that sound like a bad thing," she said. Cuddy occasionally looked over at House who was reading the file on her accident. She wasn't sure why a certain woman was on her mind but now that she was, Cuddy was curious.

"So uh...have you spoken to her at all?"

"Who?"

"Stacy."

"What on earth would make you ask that?"

"I don't know, I guess I thought of her and wondered if you've…you know…been in contact."

"Nope. I think she's over her schoolgirl crush."

Cuddy snorted. "Yeah, right. Schoolgirl crush."

"What? Were you jealous of Stacy?"

"No."

"Seriously?"

"I was never jealous of Stacy," she said. "I was just angry at the way she…just left you."

He shrugged. "I pushed her away."

"It was the only way you could cope. She should have known it would be hard for you."

"Yeah well I do have unusual ways of coping don't I?" House glanced over at Cuddy to see her reaction. She was looking down at her paperwork but he was sure she heard him. He leaned back in his chair and glanced out over the backyard towards Bernie's house and attempted to change the subject.

"You know we should get Rachel violin lessons?"

"She's already taking piano lessons."

"Yeah but she might like the violin."

"Wait, what's this we?"

"Fine, you."

Cuddy rolled her eyes. "Do you remember how she used to dance around your apartment when you played the piano?"

"If you mean do I remember her moving about nonsensically, knocking over everything, yes, I do."

Cuddy scoffed at him and hit him in the arm with a magazine. "She never knocked anything over and you know it."

"Oh right…that was you and me...while we were having wild monkey sex around my apartment, I forgot." He winked at her over his glasses.

"House, how old were you when you started playing piano?"

House thought for a moment. "I was about Rachel's age I guess. My dad was gone a lot and mom and I were home alone. It was her way of spending quality time with me. "

"Did you ever compose anything?"

"Yeah, a few things here and there."

"I'd love to hear them."

"Oh they're not much, just some things I threw together." He had written many pieces and his thoughts went to the only piece he'd ever composed for anyone, a certain serenade.

"House, I can't imagine when it comes to music anything you do is just thrown together. I used to love it when you played for me."

"You should feel honored. I've only played for three women besides my mother."

"Oh, really?" Her curiosity roused.

House realized his mistake. Three women in addition to his mother. Cuddy was one and she already knew one of the others.

"Three? A high school girlfriend?" She mused, thinking it was a high school crush.

"No, not really."

"Then who?" She asked. Knowing how private House was about his music, her curiosity was piqued.

House swallowed hard. "It doesn't matter, how about I play something for you some time?"

She noticed he was deflecting. "In case you haven't noticed, I don't have a piano."

"Oh yeah, well we can work something out I'm sure."

"You're deflecting," she accused.

"No I'm not."

Cuddy suddenly had a thought and it took the smile right off her face. "Was it...the fake wife?" She could barely say the words.

"No!" House replied, raising his voice more than he'd intended. "I never played for her, ever."

"What is it you don't want me to know? You don't have to hide anything from me."

House leaned forward and put his elbows on the table and his head in his hands. He rubbed his face a few times and then looked over at her. "When I was in Mayfield, I met someone."

Cuddy felt as if the breath had been sucked from her body.

House could tell by her response, clearly she wasn't expecting that. But if she didn't want secrets, he didn't either. "After detox I started group therapy. I was having a hard time adjusting, as you can imagine and on visiting day I met Lydia, she was the sister-in-law of one of the patients in my therapy group. Her sister-in-law played the cello so we talked about music and eventually other things. I just needed someone to talk to and she was there."

"I see."

"I was in hell Cuddy. I just needed someone to talk to, who would accept me for who I was. Lydia was there for me."

"I accepted you; I wanted to be there for you."

"No, you didn't, not really. You wouldn't let me into your life, or Rachel's."

"You were so toxic back then." Looking down and pulling a string on the hem of her shirt she asked, "So uh...whatever happened to Lydia?" She said the name as if it were vile.

"Do you really want to hear about it?"

Cuddy nodded silently.

"We got to know each other. She was German, married, with kids, living the American dream. We had nice talks about a lot of things. Anyway, one day when we were talking, she kissed me."

"She...kissed you?

"It felt good, just to have that connection with someone again. She made me feel things, real things I hadn't felt in years, things I didn't think I could feel anymore." He looked up and noticed Cuddy staring at him with what appeared to be disbelief in her eyes. "But I couldn't be just some fling because I was convenient or she wasn't happy with her husband. I told her I couldn't get involved."

"So that was it." Cuddy seemed somewhat more relaxed at that thought.

"Well, no…a few nights later, I'd had a particularly rough day and I found her alone in the rec hall crying. I felt bad for her, I mean I cared about her and wanted to help her. One thing led to another and …" House had a difficult time finishing the sentence but when he looked at Cuddy, he realized she knew what he was going to say.

Cuddy's eyes got wide and she blurted out, "You had sex with her?"

"Yes. Look, neither one of us was thinking about it, we just did it. We both needed comfort and we were there for each other." House took a deep breath, and then exhaled slowly. He was glad it was finally out. He had felt bad for years for not telling her what happened at Mayfield but he thought she wouldn't understand. He felt like he'd betrayed her even though they weren't in a relationship.

"Did you love her?"

"I liked her. She was a good person. She made me believe I would be okay."

Cuddy's eyes met his. "So, what happened after that?"

He rubbed at his scruff before he answered her. "A few nights later, I got a pass from Nolan and went to see her. She said she and her family were moving because her sister-in-law had made incredible progress and they were taking her to a facility in Arizona." House swallowed hard before he continued. He had a feeling Cuddy wouldn't like what he was going to say next. "I asked her not to go," he said, watching her eyes which were full of sadness. "But she said she had no choice, she didn't want to break up her family. That was it, that was the last time I saw her."

"You didn't want her to go?" Cuddy was devastated to think House could have feelings for someone else.

"Cuddy, try and understand, she was the first person who I connected with in there. She didn't know any of the shit I'd done in my past. She thought I was...a good person. Can you believe that? Me? I started to believe it and it felt good."

"You might have grown to love her House. If she'd stayed behind you might have gotten into a relationship with her. You might have eventually married her. She wouldn't have judged you or pushed you away." Cuddy managed to choke out those words as tears rolled down her face. "You couldn't talk to me but you could talk to a complete stranger. For fuck's sake, we have a history, which should have meant something. Instead you turned to someone else." Cuddy asserted in a hurt tone.

House was becoming angry. All he'd wanted to do was just tell her the truth, after all, that's what she wanted. "Why is this about you? You're upset about me being with Lydia, who, at the time, was the only friend I felt I really had. She didn't judge me, she just accepted me for who I was, which was actually kinda refreshing. Meanwhile you were playing house with Lucas. You slept with him, you shared your kid with him and you were going to marry him. How did you think that made me feel?"

"It's not the same-"

"The hell it's not!" House said sternly. "You'd been telling me for years to get my shit together. Finally I do, I get help and in the process I find someone I begin to care about, who cares about me, who helps me get through one of the worst times of my life, and you're upset about it? While you were getting your jollies off with junior detective, I was trying like hell to hold on to my sanity. Thanks so fucking much for understanding." House stood up and limped over to the large tree in Cuddy's yard. He just leaned against it, looking away from her. He banged his cane continuously into the ground.

House's revelation made Cuddy feel she'd been slapped in the face though she wasn't sure why. They had not been in a relationship; they were both free to see anyone they wanted. She knew she should have been happy for him that he had found some respite from his pain during the lowest point of his life. Yet she was angry. She was angry at him for finding comfort in someone else, the kind of comfort she had always wanted to give him. She was also angry at herself for not being what he needed. She still felt guilty for not helping him years earlier when he began going downhill. She knew it began long before Mayfield, before his father's death, Kutner's suicide, her adoption of Rachel, even before Tritter. House had been a mess for so long; it all seemed to run together. Suddenly feeling the need to distance herself from the tense situation they had created, she pushed her chair back abruptly and charged into the house.

Hearing her get out of her chair, House turned around and watched as Cuddy went into the house. He heard her slam her bedroom door. He sighed sadly as he looked up to the blue sky. Suddenly he felt a chill and realized he'd left his jacket on the back of his chair. He leaned against the tree, thinking about their conversation. They'd been doing so well and it felt like they'd just taken a huge step back. She was visibly upset about Lydia and apparently he was still upset about Lucas. I'm sorry Cuddy, he said to himself. Feeling the need to get some rational feedback about the situation he took out his cell phone and dialed a familiar number.

"Hey House."

"Wilson, my man, how's it hanging?"

"Well, it is still hanging; can you say the same about yours?"

"Given the conversation I just had with Cuddy, I'm not so sure."

"What did you do?"

"What makes you think I did something?"

"You always do something."

"Thanks for the vote of confidence. Okay I did something...stupid." He heard Wilson sigh on the other end.

"Oh God."

"No, not that stupid. I'm not high and I haven't crashed my car into her house."

"Not funny, now go or I hang up. I have patients to see."

"I told Cuddy about Mayfield."

"Okay..." Wilson sounded confused.

"A certain part about when I was in Mayfield."

On the other end, Wilson was deep in thought about what House could have told Cuddy and then the light bulb went off. "Oh shit, you didn't. Why after all this time?"

"It slipped out."

"Really? How do you let it slip out to the woman you love, who pined for you day after day the entire time you were gone, that you had sex with another woman, in a mental institution?"

"We were talking and it just—wait a minute—what do you mean pined?"

"The first few days you were gone she took off from work. I visited her, we talked a bit. At times she'd just sit in that rocking chair in the nursery holding Rachel and she'd wonder about what things might have been like with the three of you. She cried a lot but then she got better. Eventually she began getting back into the swing of things. She came back to work and threw herself into it. She never went up to the fourth floor if she could help it. She'd call me to her office when she needed to talk so she didn't have to walk past your office."

"She had Lucas to comfort her."

"She only hooked up with Lucas in the last few weeks before you came home but even then she still looked sad. Why didn't you two ever talk about this?"

"I don't know. Hoping to keep the past in the past I guess." He scratched his head in frustration. "She's really upset about Lydia."

"House, it was a really hard time for both of you. Just go to her, talk about how you feel, how she feels. Don't hold back because you're scared or you think it'll hurt, just do it. I'll be here if you need me but most of your talking needs to be with her, okay?" Wilson followed that with a goodbye and hung up, leaving House pondering his next move.

After a few more minutes, House limped determinedly into the house and down the hallway towards Cuddy's bedroom. Not knowing what to expect, he opened the door softly and noticed she was lying on the bed, her back to him.

"Cuddy?" He called to her.

She didn't answer.

"I know you're not sleeping."

He sighed in frustration and sat on the bed next to her. He gently placed his hand on her ankle. He felt her shiver under his touch.

"You okay?"

"Fine, just sore."

"Do you want anything for the pain?"

"No."

"Want me to run you a hot bath?"

"No."

House sat there a bit longer, first rubbing her ankle then moving up her leg, gently caressing it, not in a sexual way just tenderly, trying to show her with his touch, how much he cared. The tension in the air was thick and both wanted to talk but neither knew what to say.

"House, what do you want?"

"I'm sorry."

Cuddy didn't reply.

"It's been so long since Mayfield; I didn't realize it still hurt."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"I think you do."

She rolled over and looked at him. "You have no idea how much it hurt when you were gone."

"I think I might."

"It didn't just hurt; it felt like a piece of me was gone. I felt so...so lost."

"But why? I made your life hell. You didn't even like me. We weren't even friends."

Cuddy let out a sarcastic laugh. "Seriously? House, we were friends, it was strange and crazy and yet it was friendship. We just disguised it and hid it beneath our work relationship, pulling each other's strings, yelling at each other, always playing the game. It was crazy but it was our crazy." She smiled faintly at the memories.

House was relieved to see her smile. He lay down on the bed next to her and put his hands behind his head. "Mayfield was one of the worst moments of my life. Early on, during detox, I wanted to die. I had to talk to a shrink about my feelings and I had to talk to a group of people I didn't know about things I didn't want to talk about. I wish I could've shared my experiences with you, but I just couldn't do it. I know I should have, but it was too hard."

"House, I'm sorry I got upset about Lydia. I should be thankful you were able to connect with someone while you were in that place."

He rolled over and faced her. "Lydia was a friend to me when I needed it and she helped me see that I could feel something real again, but what got me through that place was thinking about you. I cared about her but I loved you. You saved me again and you didn't even know it."

Cuddy reached over and laid her hand on his arm. "House, take some credit here. You saved yourself. You took a brave step checking yourself into that place, it saved your life. You know, I've been laying here thinking about how lonely and scared you must have been. I should be thankful you weren't completely alone. I'm not angry that you confided in her or that you had sex with her. I realize now why she meant so much to you."

House nodded slowly, acknowledging her words as she continued.

"When Lucas asked me out, I didn't want to go but I needed to get back into life again. I needed to feel something too. Not having you around made me realize how much you had always energized me and kept me going. Lucas made me laugh and he was simple, easy to get along with. I felt like I was finally able to connect to another human being again. I thought I'd lost that." Cuddy rolled on her back, linked her fingers over her stomach and sighed at the ceiling. "Being with Lucas was nice but he never told me the truth...what I mean is...I'd ask him something because I needed the brutal, hard truth and he'd tell me what he thought I wanted to hear. I thought of you and how you'd always give it to me straight. It was brutal at times but straight. You weren't afraid or intimidated. I missed that...I needed that. There were times I was with Lucas intimately, when I thought about you. I thought it would pass but when you got out of Mayfield and I saw you again, it started happening more often. That's one of the reasons I broke off my engagement with Lucas eventually. I couldn't marry him when the eyes I wanted to be looking into when making love...were yours. I guess maybe in some strange way Lucas helped me. He was there for me when I was having a hard time and being with him eventually made me realize how much I wanted to be with you."

They turned their heads toward each other, a look of relief in their eyes, that they finally understood what each other had endured during those hard months apart.

"Thanks, Cuddy."

"For what?"

"For being honest about how you felt when I was gone."

"Thanks for telling me about Lydia and why she was so important to you." She reached over and squeezed his hand tightly.

"How about I run you a bath?" He asked.

"I think I could use one. What about you? You've been favoring your leg a bit more today."

"I'll take one later, it'll help. I forgot to tell you that your buddy Burt hooked me up with the staff gym and the PT clinic at the hospital. Apparently he has connections."

"He knows everybody."

"This is one time I'm glad about that. I figure when you're at your appointment tomorrow, I'll head over there a bit."

"That's great House, really."

"So what do you want to do now?" He raised his eyebrows at her flirtatiously.

"Run me a bath while I make a few phone calls and get dinner on. Rachel will be home soon," she said as she got out of bed. As she walked past him towards the door, she swayed her hips a bit just for him.

"You're a slave driver," he whined.

"Yeah, yeah, just get me my bath, slave," she laughed on her way out of the bedroom.

House grumbled something about bossy women as he rolled out of bed and headed toward the master bath. A moment later, Cuddy stuck her head in the doorway of the bedroom.

"Hey House?"

"Yes Mistress?" He stuck his head out of the bathroom.

"I really do miss you playing the piano for me."

House grinned. "We'll just have to do something about that won't we?"

So what do you think he means by that? Oh there is so much more to come. I felt it was important to talk about Mayfield, since I do not think they would have talked much about it the first time they were together. During that time they obviously worked all the time, but during their time together they likely had a lot of sex, fought a bit, and spent some quality time worrying about how they were each going to screw up the relationship. With all that, who has time to talk about the past?

Some of you have asked if and when House and Cuddy will consummate their relationship. All I can tell you is "in due time." You see, they're just rebuilding their trust, they're opening up about things never discussed, and they're not only getting to know each other again but themselves too. Yes, they could jump into bed together and it would be great but...when they consummate their relationship, it has to be right...for them. My characters are writing this story; I'm merely the tool they use to tell their tale. They're not trying to wait for that "perfect" moment; rather they are waiting for when it just feels right. You know House and Cuddy...when it's the moment, they will both know it.

I've got some great ideas in mind for this story. I can't wait to put them into words!

Jess