CHAPTER SEVEN

Staring out over the temple's steps, Yukina bounced on the balls of her feet. "Any minute now…" she murmured to herself. Something moved in the trees. Yukina grinned like a fool.

"Where are you going?"

"I'm not going anywhere, Hiei-san," Yukina answered cheerfully, spinning around to face the fire demon. "I was waiting for you."

Hiei raised an eyebrow. "I'm early."

"I had a feeling that you would want to be early today." …and that you would try to sneak up behind me like last time.

Hiei broke eye contact. "Hn." Yukina glowed at the unspoken praise.

Heading towards the temple, Yukina explained, "You're the last one to arrive." Hiei said nothing but she could sense his surprise. Looking over her shoulder she said, "If I could have, I would have contacted you and asked if it was possible for you to come a couple of hours early. We could have used your help for something."

Although Hiei schooled his features into a neutral expression, on the inside an inkling of guilt raised up within him. What if there was an emergency and Yukina was in danger without a way to contact me? I must correct that immediately.

"I'm sorry." She placed her hand on the entrance of the temple and turned to face Hiei, frowning. "I phrased that poorly. I didn't mean to make you feel bad."

Hiei opened his mouth to object, "Who said I felt bad?" but that would have sounded stupid, so he snapped his jaw shut.

A smile crept on her face as she continued, "I really do appreciate you coming here."

Her smile reminded Hiei of the whole "wife incident" which made him uncomfortable. He glanced away, up at the sky.

"Have you seen any rainbows lately?"

Yukina blinked. "Rainbows?"

Hiei inwardly cursed. How could I have her asked that? She's not going to remember one random conversation she had with me. Now she'll think I'm psychotic for talking about rainbows and—

Yukina gazed up at the clear sky, her eyes clouded over with memory. "I used to look up at the sky for rainbows in the Human Realm, and the aurora borealis when I lived at my homeland in the Demon Realm. Look up and long for something out of my reach. But now…" Yukina fixated the fire demon with a warm smile. "I realize that I don't need anything." She turned around and entered the temple, leaving a very confused Hiei behind.

But didn't she say that she watched the aurora borealis and thought of her brother? Does that… does that mean she doesn't need me? Then Hiei froze. Wait does that mean she won't like my—

"Come on in," Yukina waved. After a moment of hesitation, Hiei stepped inside.

A large white banner emblazed with Japanese symbols hung from the ceiling directly in front of Hiei. Beneath the banner, a low, long table was heavily burdened with all kinds of cakes, pies, and cookies. Their sickly sweet smell made Hiei's nose itchy. Mixed within the desserts lay a few bowls of snacks like cheese curls and popcorn. On another smaller table next to the food was a pile of presents wrapped with either tacky pastel colors or kiddy patterned birthday hats. A shiny stereo in the back corner of the room quietly played something upbeat and happy, making Hiei's skin crawl. Keiko chatted with the pink kimono clad Botan while Kuwabara stuffed his face with potato chips. Scowling, Hiei shoved his hands in the pockets of his cloak, fixing the happy scene with a glare.

"A party," Hiei growled under his breath.

"Not just any party," Yukina sing songed, pointing up at the banner.

"It's the hag's birthday?" Hiei asked, after reading the words. Great, just great. It's a birthday party. That means I'll have to sing that retard song. And if I don't then everyone will glare at me as they sing and I'll feel remotely guilty and as the mighty Hiei I shouldn't have to put up with that shit.

Yukina smiled and nodded enthusiastically. "You see, after everyone visited here two weeks ago, I heard her angrily mumble something to herself. She said that she always hated the end of the month of November and she sounded pretty upset that all of you were coming on that day. So I…" Yukina's face fell and she fiddled with her kimono as she continued, "…snuck into some of her papers she kept hidden. I know it was wrong, but…" Swinging back to elation, Yukina cocked her head and happily clapped her hands. "But then I learned when her birthday was. I told everyone and look, look!" Yukina grabbed Hiei's hand dragged him across the room to the pile of presents. "We got so many presents for her! Then I called everyone here earlier today to help set up everything. When she returns from mediating in the forest, we can surprise her!"

Hiei slouched. Damn it. She arranged the party. Now I have to participate. I'd have more fun watching that kids' show with the purple dancing dinosaur. Sulking, Hiei observed Botan snag a potato chip from Kuwabara's hand. She ate it, much to his anger. I have a thousand better things I could be doing. Like… like patrolling the Demon Realm border. That's always… fun… Hiei slouched down even more. My life sucks.

Walking towards the others by the table, Hiei thought, I don't understand. This is the agreed day of the bet. The day where I my gift makes Yukina happier than that idiot's stupid present and he vows to leave Yukina alone. Which would be satisfying. Then his earlier conversation with her echoed through his mind. Or Yukina likes the oaf's present more and I'll have to tell him that I'm her sister. Which would be disastrous. So somebody tell me why such a serious and life changing bet…

Hiei balled his hands into fists and fumed, …is backdropped by a party?!

Yukina cried out, "Everyone! Hiei-san's here!"

"Hiei?" A voice said behind the sliding doors to the left. "Ah, Hiei, you have to try out these—"

"No, don't open that door!"

As though time had slowed down, several things occurred almost simultaneously. A smiling Kurama slid open the doors, holding a platter of Oreo cookies in one hand. A bucket of yellow liquid fell from above, spilling down yellow rain. Yusuke tackled Kurama from behind, causing the plate to slip from the red head's hands. Both boys tumbled to the floor, Kurama's hair soaked yellow and Yusuke's face splatting into the Oreos.

"What the—?" Kuwabara asked, amazed and slightly perturbed.

Stepping towards them, Keiko inquired, "Are you all right?"

Running his hands through his hair, Kurama sat up. He removed his hand, which was sticky with yellow. He gasped in revulsion. Howling, "It stiiiings!" Yusuke rolled on the ground, rubbing the white icing of the cookies from his eyes.

At once they both cried, "What the hell are you doing?!"

They leapt to their feet. Pulling on strand of yellow-red hair, Kurama demanded, "What is this yellow stuff?"

"It's blond hair dye," Yusuke answered, still rubbing his eyes. "I thought it would be hilarious if I could dye Kuwabara's carrot pompadour into a banana for a week."

"A week?!" Kurama cried, horrified.

"A banana?!" Kuwabara cried, horrified.

"What the hell kind of icing stings like this?"

Crossing his arms, Kurama explained, "Those were for Hiei, not you. I replaced the icing with toothpaste and shaving cream."

"It feels like a bucket of chlorine was dumped into my eyes!"

"Well…" Kurama tossed his hair. Stroking his chin, he chuckled, showing off his pearly whites. "I might have coated them with bug spray."

"Bug spray? In the eyes?" Kuwabara exclaimed, "Call Poison Control Center!"

Above it all, Hiei shook his head in disgust. "The amount of idiocy in this room astounds me."

"What the hell possessed you to think that Hiei would ever eat cookies? And you were hoping for what now? To give him indigestion? Were you going to film him as he tried to take a shit?!"

"As if you're prank wasn't stupid, too." Kurama retorted. Throwing a hand towards the door, he exclaimed, "Placing a bucket on the door is the oldest trick in the book!"

"As if you're prank isn't cliché, too. I thought you were smart, but you're just desperate, aren't you? And—" Yusuke blinked, causing a bit of white he had missed to get in his eye. Holding his head, with a hand, he cried, "Goddamn you, Kurama! If I have permanent eye damage, I am so suing your ass."

"Oh, you're a demon, aren't you? Suck it up. Your problem will be gone before we leave, but what am I supposed to do? How am I supposed to explain to my sudden change of hair color? I'll never hear the end of it from my step-brother. I have a hard enough time explaining to everyone that my red hair color is natural, but how do I justify this retarded gangster red-blonde thing?"

"Oh, boo hoo. You're a demon, aren't you? Suck it up."

"A demon's pride and joy is his long hair! You've insulted my pride!"

"The sight of you insults my eyes! Except, oh, wait. I CAN'T SEE!"

"Here, let me help you then!"

"I don't think the dye's been rubbed in enough, let me help!"

Weeks of built-up frustration and aggression flooded forth like a dam breaking. Kurama attempted to brush the cookie icing into Yusuke's eyes while Yusuke struggled to scrub Kurama's head. Growling and cursing, the two ended up clawing each other and yanking on their hair just as much as they worked towards their respective goals.

Appalled, Yukina could only cover her mouth with her hands. Botan, however, was bowled over in laughter. "Girl fight! Girl fight!"

"With blond hair, you'd really would fit in a girls' school!"

"Maybe being blind, you'll actually be able to beat Yomi!"

Kuwabara whistled, impressed. "Those hit right below the belt."

"Stop it, you two!" Keiko pleaded.

"Why?" Hiei asked, grinning from ear to ear. "It's just gotten interesting."

"Asshole!"

"Dumbass!"

"What the hell is all that racket?"

Everyone turned towards the temple entrance where Genkai stood, her eyes angrily narrowed. When no one answered, Genkai asked, "Well?" She moved her gaze to the left to see Yusuke and Kurama interlocked caught in the throes of their fiery passion. Yusuke and Kurama shared a glance, realizing how close they were. Huffing, they broke apart and whipped around. Yusuke crossed his arms while Kurama jutted his chin in the air, but nothing could hide their colored cheeks.

Genkai snorted. "That's a story I want to hear." Yusuke's and Kurama's faces turned several shades of darker red amidst everyone's laughter.

Roaming her gaze over the food table, Genkai started, "Now what's with all this…" Genkai happened to glance up at the banner. She cursed so foul that her own mother would have slapped her.

Kuwabara raised his arms to the side and cheered, "Happy Birthday!" Silence. Lowering his arms, a confused Kuwabara muttered loudly to Botan, "What? What's wrong?" Botan timidly pointed at Genkai. She was a volcano about to erupt.

Genkai nodded at the stack of gifts. "And you got me presents, too. Did that bonehead of an apprentice of mine get one, too?"

Happy to put the earlier incident behind him, Yusuke rushed towards the presents. He lifted up a present that had more tape on it than a first-grader's art project. "Yup, it's right here—"

"I don't need depends." Stunned, Yusuke froze, mid-smile. Someone suppressed a chuckle.

Kurama cleared his throat. "I'm sorry," he apologized. Cutting a glare at Yusuke, Kurama admonished, "Yusuke, that's horrible. You should know better."

Yusuke made a face. "If I knew that about Ba-san, I would kill myself."

"You're one to talk, Kurama," Genkai scoffed. "After all, you got me a feather duster with an extendable wand or some such garbage, didn't you?"

Kurama blinked, crossed between being surprised and offended. "No, I didn't get you anything of the kind."

Looking away, Keiko muttered, "I got the feather duster."

Crossing his arms, Kurama closed his eyes and nodded, self-righteous. "And I purchased a stool."

Grinning, Yusuke raised his present and shook it a little. "Good thing she's got depends now!" Everyone burst out laughing.

With deliberate slowness, Genkai crossed her arms. "Who got me a new tea set?"

Yukina hung her head and turned around, about to take her present off the table.

"Damn it," Genkai cursed under her breath. "No, wait, Yukina! I'm sure it's nice. Just leave it."

"Oh yeah, well no one can top what I got her!" Kuwabara dashed towards the table and fisted a small present and lifted it up for all to see. "I got you Street Fighter II!"

Genkai raised an eyebrow. "I don't have that. And that's supposed to be the best in the series."

Kuwabara belatedly added, "At least I'll get it when I have the money!"

Shaking her head in disgust, Genkai said, "I can't believe you actually spent money just to insult me."

"Hey, it's not our fault!" interjected Kuwabara. "We had very little warning!" but no one paid any attention to him.

Yusuke clapped his hands loudly to get everyone's attention. Smiling, he walked over to Genkai as he said, "So we may have gotten you some shitty presents. But you know what? That doesn't matter. Because what really matters the most…" Yusuke laid his arm around Genkai's shoulders and smiled down at her. "Is that we're all here together. Right?"

Genkai took a deep breath and let it out through her nose. She turned her head towards Yusuke. "Take your load of bull and crap it in the depends where it belongs. And then get the hell away from me."

Caught between being shocked and laughing, Yusuke stammered, "W-Whoa, Ba-san."

"Trespassers like you should be reported to the police."

"'Trespassers'?" Yusuke repeated. "What are you talking about? Ain't this temple ours You gave it to us in your will, didn't ya?"

"Oh, you're trying to kill me off now? Should I keel over and die for you right now or would that be an inconvenience?"

Yusuke stepped back, removing his arm form her. "You know that's not what I meant. Now you're trying to be a pain in the ass."

"Who said that my property belonged to you anyway? You weren't there when I read my will."

"I don't get the temple? What the hell?! Aren't I your successor?"

Kuwabara edged over to Kurama. He whispered, "We sure made her really mad."

Kurama shook his head. "She's probably just extra irritable today because by celebrating her birthday, we're reminding her how old she is."

Rubbing his chin, Kuwabara asked, "How old is she anyway?"

"I'm not sure. At least seventy."

"Really? Whoa. I thought she was at least ninety if not a thousand three hundred fifty-seven years old." Kurama glanced sidelong at Kuwabara. "Hey, you never know with her."

Kurama sighed and then looked up at the bickering duo. Yusuke had rolled up his sleeve, but Genkai refused to even face or look at him, which only exasperated him more. "I just can't tell if underneath all that anger, she's happy we went through such lengths for her or if she's really is furious."

"Kurama!" Genkai snapped.

Kurama and Kuwabara flinched. The latter, they thought simultaneously.

"Yes?" smiled the kitsune.

"I want you and Yusuke in my room immediately. And the rest of you," she gestured to the remains of Oreo cookies and yellow dye spilled on the floor, "clean up this mess with the brooms and dustpan one of you bought me."

Yusuke and Kurama gulped.

Genkai strode over to the pair of doors on the right. When she looked over her shoulder and noticed no one was following her, she shouted, "Now!"

Kurama and Yusuke scrambled after her.

"Yes, ma'am!"

"All right, all right already!"

"Now what am I going to do with you?" Genkai asked.

Frowning, Yusuke puzzled over his master's actions. Genkai had never called anyone out before like this. What could it mean? She was truly going to punish them in some horrible, bloody fashion, and bury their bodies where no one could find them, wasn't she? Recalling his training, Yusuke wasn't the least bit doubtful that she would kill them.

Kurama broke the ice. "I hope we haven't offend you too much."

Genkai burst out laughing. Confused, Yusuke glanced at Kurama sitting beside him. He bore an equally grim expression. Listening to Genkai's creepy laughter was a fate far worse than a lecture.

Eventually Yusuke snapped, "What's so funny?"

"You two!" Yusuke and Kurama blinked. "You, Yusuke, were so angry and Kurama actually looked a little intimidated… and of course there's whatever you were doing when I came in."

Embarrassed, the teenagers looked at anything other than Genkai or each other.

"And the fact that you actually believe that I'm mad with you! You're so tense as though you're afraid I'm going to punish you in some horrible, bloody fashion, and bury your bodies where no one could find them."

Yusuke shivered. She really is creepy.

Frowning, Kurama repeated, "So you're not angry?"

"No, no. Annoyed, yes. But not mad." Genkai stood up and opened the closet. Bending over, she retrieved a portable stovetop, a tea kettle and cup, and a tea bag.

"But then why go through that charade?" inquired Kurama as she made tea.

"It was the only way I could teach you a lesson. A lesson for not including me."

"Not including you? But it's your birthday, Ba-san. How could we not include you?"

"Do I have to spell out everything for you, you bonehead?" Genkai barked. "You didn't include me in the bet!"

"Ah!" Kurama pounded his fist into the palm of his other hand. "So that's it."

"So what's it? I don't get it!" whined Yusuke. "Would someone start talking clearly?"

"I'm talking about the bet you and Kurama made, Yusuke," Genkai clarified, looking over the rim of her teacup. The two listened with rapt attention as the older woman explained, "I knew the instant Kurama suggested Kuwabara and Hiei get Yukina presents Yusuke would want to weigh in the issue. He would jump at the opportunity to wreck the life of his best friend."

"Hey!" Yusuke interjected. "You make me sound like some monster!"

"But ruining only one half of their competition wouldn't suffice. Plus, messing around is always better with a buddy. I waited all night, but…" Genkai glared at Kurama. "Yusuke left the party without talking to me."

Kurama smiled, "I apologize. However, I am the one who knows Hiei best."

Eyes narrowed, Yusuke glanced between the two of them. "Oooh, I get it now. Ba-san, you wanted in on our bet."

Sighing, Genkai set her teacup on the floor. "Yes. I realize it's hard for me to make trips into the city, but that doesn't mean you couldn't have consulted me. Tormenting you youngsters makes this heart young again. There's nothing else like it."

Kurama laughed sheepishly while Yusuke fumed, images of his training with her coming to mind. Spurn forward by his anger, Yusuke snipped, "Well, who needs you anyway? We did just fine without you."

"Hardly," Kurama cut in. "I believe the earlier incidence proves beyond a shadow of a doubt how ill-equipped we were in performing the task. I should have trusted my instincts and walked away instead of listening to you. My life is a nightmare because I did."

"Oh yeah, well it hasn't been all sunshine and rainbows for me either, Kurama," Yusuke scoffed. "I was kicked out a restaurant and told not to come back."

Kurama fought the urge to roll his eyes. "Yeah, well, I supposedly vandalized a McDonald's."

"I tried to humiliate Kuwabara in front of Yukina but they got a standing ovation instead."

"Hiei wrecked my brand new camrecorder."

"I helped a pervert look at my girl's chest."

"I'm a wanted fugitive at the mall for destruction of property and arson."

"Then I was dumped."

"My brother told me to use a hose instead of a shower."

"The guys I asked to bully Yukina were arrested for harassment and assault. They begged me to pay the bail, but I'm pretending I don't know them."

"I was chased through a forest, a fiery dragon snapping at my heels. With my plants helpless against a beast of fire, I nearly died." Kurama sucked in a deep breath and released it slowly. "But you know what?" Kurama turned towards Yusuke, his arm raised for Yusuke to clasp his hand. His green eyes shone with pride and fanatical determination as he fiercely whispered, "We survived."

Reflecting Kurama's resolute gaze, Yusuke nodded. He gripped Kurama's hand with his. Then he grinned. "Did ja really shower with a hose?"

The burning glare Kurama gave Yusuke could have melted steel.

Chuckling to herself, Genkai smiled, "Maybe it's better that I didn't help them. Sure makes for a funnier story."

Breaking apart, they turned towards Genkai. Yusuke demanded, "Who won? Who had the better prank?"

Turning to face them, Genkai placed "To decide that, first we must discuss why the two of you failed. First, Kurama, you—"

"How can you lecture us about why things didn't work out when we didn't even tell you what happened?" Yusuke asked, indignant.

"I know the two of you well enough to say without knowing the specifics. Now shut up and listen." Yusuke grumbled, but he didn't say anything more. Genkai lifted her teacup towards the red-head with blond highlights. "Your plans were far too complicated for the relatively simple task of embarrassing someone. Because you felt pressured by the time limit, you didn't think your plans through completely before executing them, thus your lack of foresight and Hiei acting unpredictably. Your inability to adapt to new situations as they arise caused you to fail."

Rubbing the underside of his nose, Kurama eyes misted over in thought. "Yes. I suppose that's why."

"And Yusuke."

"Yeah?"

"You're just dumb."

"Hey!"

"You're the complete opposite of Kurama. You never thought at all. You just reacted. Both planned strategies and adaptability are needed to properly prank someone."

Yusuke asked in a serious tone. "So who won?"

Genkai stirred a packet of cream in her tea with a finger. "So you made a bet and want to know who's better than the other. But you know what? That doesn't matter. Because what really matters the most…" Crossing her arms, Genkai closed her eyes and lowered her head. Yusuke and Kurama leaned towards Genkai, their excited fervor barely contained. Opening her eyes, she smirked. "Is that you've made some wonderful memories. Right?"

"NO!"

Genkai chuckled, shaking her head. Then she stood up. Surprised, Yusuke and Kurama watched her. "Either way, you're just the side dish, not the main meal."

"What side dish? What meal? You're just making me hungry."

In a grave voice, Kurama stated, "It's time, Yusuke."

"Yes," Genkai said. "It's time for the other bet."

Yusuke's eyes widened. "Oh, you mean…"

"It's time for Kuwabara and Hiei to give Yukina their gifts."