A/N: House is in pain. You had to know this would happen. Thanks to Veronique for expertise in the field of medicine. As always, she's a great help in this area! Also thanks to the many readers of this story and to the folks updating ongoing fics and writing new ones. Trust me, your work does not go unappreciated.

Also, I just re-read some older one-shots from a few years ago. There are some incredible stories out there. Go do some searching and give them a chance will ya? Don't forget to leave reviews on the stories you read even if they are older, believe me, authors still enjoy getting reviews years later!

Anyway, here we go, another chapter in the House/Cuddy saga. Thank you for hanging in there with me. I really do appreciate your patience and comments.

Tuesday evening...

It was early evening and House, Cuddy and Rachel were sitting at the dining room table. Rachel was going on about her day in-between bites and Cuddy was trying to smile and listen but her thoughts were on House, who had been mostly silent since they'd arrived home. She knew from his more pronounced limp, the furrow of his brows that he was suffering a bout of extreme pain but she didn't want to push him to talk about it.

"Aren't you hungry?" She asked as she watched him pick at his food. House always had a healthy appetite so not eating was another clear indicator something was wrong.

He put his fork down and said quietly, "I'm going out for awhile." He got up and limped into the living room, leaning heavily on his cane.

Cuddy started to respond but stopped herself. She wanted him to open up, knowing there was a reason he couldn't share this level of pain with her but she was hesitant to push him knowing he was brooding heavily. If he wanted time alone she would give it to him.

"Hows, where ya goin'?" Rachel asked her eyes wide.

"Out, kiddo."

"Can I come too?"

"Not this time," he said before closing the door behind him. Cuddy watched from the window as his car turned the corner and was out of sight. She sighed deeply and started clearing the table.

"Is he mad?" Rachel asked quietly.

"What on earth would make you say that?"

"He didn't say much." Rachel seemed unhappy.

"Oh baby, he's just sad because he's in a lot of pain. His leg hurts."

"I wish we could make it better. I don't like it when he's sad."

"I know Rach; I wish I could do something too."

"I just don't want him to go away again."

Cuddy looked at her daughter, then picked her up out of the chair and hugged her. "I don't want him to go either but you know what? I bet that if we tell him how much we like having him around, he won't want to leave. What do you think?"

"I'm gonna draw him a picture. Do you think he would like that?" She asked, excitedly, trying to wriggle out of her mother's arms.

"I think he would." Cuddy put Rachel down and smiled watching her little girl dance around in circles around the kitchen. She started clearing the table and then she heard her daughter call her again.

"Mommy, can we go outside on the swing?"

"It's going to be dark soon."

"Pleeeeeease?" Rachel looked so adorable at the moment and Cuddy couldn't resist. She looked down at the dishes in her hands and for once resisted the urge to control the moment and do what she felt she had to do instead of what she wanted to do. Right now, she wanted to spend some quality time with Rachel. She set the dirty dishes on the table, took her daughter's hand and led her out the back door.

House sat on the bench looking out at the water. With great force he pressed his palm into his right thigh kneading it roughly. He had driven around as long as he could until the searing pain was too much for him. He found the park by the waterfront and opted to stop there, hoping the pain would subside enough to drive home. He hated walking out on Cuddy and Rachel but he feared his pain would cause him to lash out at them. He was in pain every day but it was on a lesser scale and more manageable than in the past thanks to the physical therapy and the patch. However, every now and then he experienced a bout of breakthrough pain that sometimes brought him to his knees. He was inactive it most often it happened when he overworked his leg in exercising or in therapy. His doctors couldn't pinpoint the exact cause, attributing it to a combination of phantom pain and neuropathic causes, exacerbated by muscle cramping.

House leaned forward, his chin rested upon his hands which gripped his cane tightly. He wanted to talk to Cuddy and let her in but it was still hard at times to break old habits. It wasn't that he didn't trust her; rather, he worried about her guilt. Even though he'd forgiven her and she said she would let go of the guilt, it was easier said than done. He remembered all the times he lashed out at Cuddy when he was in pain. For years he made his pain hers and he saw how it devastated her. He didn't want to subject her to that again. He also worried that seeing the intensity of his pain might cause her to worry that he might relapse. He wished he could tell her that sometimes when the worst pain hit, he craved the Vicodin, its ability to numb him and make him feel nothing at all but he dared not because he feared her reaction. He also knew that if he didn't talk to her he risked undoing all the good they had achieved over the last few weeks.

As he watched lights of the city twinkle along the shore, his phone rang. Checking the caller ID he saw it was Nolan.

"House."

"I'd hoped to hear from you. What's going on?"

"My leg hurts."

"More than usual?"

"I did PT today, just overworked it. It always hurts after PT."

"You once said the pain from PT is still not as bad as the pain you endured without it, is that true?"

"Yeah."

"Have you taken anything for it?"

"Just the patch and I want to keep it that way."

"Good for you, but you do have options if it gets really bad."

"I know."

"Have you talked to Cuddy about it?"

"We've talked about my leg, the pain...but not this…this is the first time it's been this bad since I've been here."

"Are you going to let her in?"

"I wanted to…but I just couldn't, so I left."

"You left?"

"We were eating dinner and I knew she wanted to talk. I needed some time alone."

"So, instead of letting her be there for you, you just walked away."

"Yeah."

"Where are you now?"

"At a park on the waterfront somewhere."

"You've dealt with the pain alone for years and it didn't get you anywhere. Sharing your pain really does make a difference, especially with someone you trust."

"I'm sharing it with you."

"Yes and that's good but you need to share it with the people you care about too…the people closest to you. You've always felt the need to hide it because you were afraid to trust and you thought showing your emotions made you weak. Greg, it takes a tremendous amount of strength to share your pain. Let the people who love you go through it with you."

"How do I make Cuddy realize it's not her fault? I forgave her a long time ago and even though she says she's okay I know she still feels guilty."

"Guilt is a tough thing to overcome. Saying you let it go and actually doing it are two very different things. How about you start letting her really be there for you? Have you ever considered that pushing her away hurts her feelings and perpetuates the guilt?"

"Shit. When I left tonight, she didn't even try to stop me."

"She of all people, knows how sensitive you are. She likely didn't want to push you and thought it better that you work things out on your own. But you know that no relationship can be one-sided. You have to share your pain Greg. Go back home and tell her how hard it is for you to be honest but that you will take it one day at a time. That's all you can do. If you try one day at a time, it'll get easier, I promise."

"Easier said than done."

"If anyone can do it, you can."

"Now that's just cheesy." House was ready to end the conversation but remembered one more thing he wanted to tell his therapist. "Listen there's something else you should know."

"What's that?"

"Cuddy's Chief of Medicine called us in for a meeting today. They want me to do a diagnostics lecture once a week.'

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"How much have you told them about what happened?"

"The Chief of Medicine knows everything. She has connections."

"And they still want you?"

"I told them I was working on ways to deal with my pain. That's the only promise I can make."

"You've come a long way."

"Sometimes it doesn't feel like it."

"Don't underestimate yourself. You've worked so hard on the things about yourself you really want to change and I know it has not been easy for you."

"It wasn't hard when the decision comes down to live or die."

"True. So, what are you going to do? About the offer?"

"If I can work out the logistics, it might be worth it."

"What does Cuddy think?"

"She seems to be for it. Though after I just walked out tonight, who knows if she'd still want me around?"

"Somehow I doubt this time she'll give up on you that easily."

House shrugged to himself but said nothing.

"Listen, when you feel like giving up, remember what your life was like before. Remember that when the Vicodin wore off, you were right back where you started. You say people don't change, they can't change, but you have, in subtle ways and its okay to acknowledge that and to be proud of it."

"Geez, you always have something prophetic to say, don't you?" He asked sarcastically.

"That's why you pay me an exorbitant amount of money, right?" Nolan chuckled.

"Yeah." House laughed and bid Nolan goodbye, then hung up. He stared out at the water and the stars now twinkling in the twilight sky. Leaning back on the bench, he closed his eyes and thought about what Nolan said, how he had changed in subtle ways and how it was okay to acknowledge it. The thought of change made him cringe but he had to admit that his life was better now than it was before. Being off Vicodin left him clear-headed and in control. Being with Cuddy...made him feel safe and...happy. He smiled at that thought. Happy. He didn't do that word but he couldn't deny that being with her and with Rachel made him feel whole again. With them it didn't feel like something was missing. He didn't want to screw things up but he was also tired of worrying about that. He'd spent enough time in their previous relationship worrying about screwing up. So much goddamn wasted time, he thought.

Suddenly, a strong burst of arctic air descended upon the waterfront, and it felt as if the temperature dropped dramatically in a matter of seconds. Through his leather jacket, House felt the chill penetrate down to his bones and it made him shiver. He sat up straight, looked around and realized how cold, lonely and desolate it was around him. The sky was gray and darkening and there were no other people around. It was eerily quiet save for the sounds of the traffic in the distance, and the waves lapping against the sea wall. It was a great place for someone who wanted to be alone and think but he suddenly realized he really didn't want to be alone. He'd spent far too much time alone thinking. Sure he liked occasional solace but right now there was someplace he'd much rather be, someplace warmer and more pleasant, where he felt...less lonely. He let out a loud grunt as rose from the bench and limped over to his car. Yeah, he thought, definitely less lonely.

After dinner, Cuddy and Rachel spent some time in the backyard. A few days earlier, Rachel had found a magnifying glass in an old trunk that belonged to Cuddy's father and ever since she'd been trying to inspect everything through it. She kept it in her pocket in case she came upon something that required investigation. They spent a little while in the backyard looking at everything Rachel could get her hands on. Cuddy chuckled at Rachel's curiosity, it reminded her of herself when she was younger. She used to spend hours with her father reading and asking questions. His answers would only provoke more questions. She learned so much from her father and she smiled at the wonderful memories. She was so lost in those memories that she almost didn't hear the phone ring on the picnic table. She ran over to grab it, hoping it was House.

"Hi Lisa."

"Oh, hey Julia." Cuddy tried to hide her disappointment.

"Wow, nice to talk to you too."

"Sorry, I just thought you were…someone else. It's good to hear from you."

"I'm sorry, listen if you can't talk…"

"No, no I'm fine. I'm sitting out here in the backyard with Rachel. She found dad's magnifying glass in the old trunk last weekend and hardly puts it down."

Julia laughed. "Oh my God I remember that thing. Once you found it you couldn't put it down either!"

"That's Rachel right now. She's pretty much inspected every inch of the house inside and out with it."

"So…how are things? Are you feeling better?"

"I'm doing better, going to find a new car soon then back to work next week. Right now I'm spending some quality time with Rachel."

"How are things with House?"

Cuddy picked nervously at the hem on her shirt. "They were going pretty good...until this afternoon."

"Uh oh."

"It's his leg...it's hurting him more than usual, it's one of those breakthrough episodes, where it hurts like hell and nothing works. He could take Oxy but he doesn't want to if he can help it."

"Would it help with the pain?"

"In the short-term, yes. He doesn't want to take it unless he has no other options. I just wish he'd talk to me more about it. I hate not knowing what he's thinking."

"I thought he was opening up."

"He is; it's just that sometimes things are hard for him."

"Sounds like some things haven't changed that much."

Cuddy got defensive. "Don't say that. He's trying; it's just going to take awhile I guess."

"You're the most patient person I know. Honestly I don't know how you do it."

"Underneath that gruff exterior he's got a real heart."

Julia laughed at her sister. "You're a chip off the old block, you know that? Dad would be proud."

"I suppose."

"Will you be okay?"

"You mean with House? Yeah. We're making progress."

"Just…take things slow. I know you love him and there's never going to be anyone else you'll love half as much as him. I just don't want you to get hurt again."

"I won't."

"You seem pretty sure of that."

"I am. And what's with this negativity crap? I thought you were okay with him being in our lives again."

"I'm not being negative!" Julia exclaimed. "I just want things to be good for you and Rachel. I want you to be happy."

"Happiness is relative. I know you mean well. Trust me, he's trying." Cuddy insisted.

"Hang in there. I know this hasn't been easy for you but if you need to talk about it, I'm here."

"Thanks Jules." Cuddy was ready to change the subject and get her mind off her own problems for awhile. So…" she said, "Enough about me. How are you and the kids?" She knew Julia had her own share of problems, like adjusting to a new life raising her children without their father. As the sun settled beneath the horizon and the soft glow of the solar lights she had planted around the backyard slowly brightened her surroundings, she sat back in her lounge chair, listening to Julia talk about her children's latest escapades. Meanwhile, her own precocious little girl ran around the backyard investigating everything in sight with her newest toy.

Hope you enjoyed this chapter. I want to address House's pain in this story because it's a very important part of who he is. He's defined himself by his pain for years and now maybe he can define his life by something else. His pain will test not only him but Cuddy too.

Also, my apologies for the delay in posting the chapter. I've been so busy lately; doing it every week became a little more difficult. Once the holidays get here I'll have more time for weekly updates. I'm already working on Chapter 60 as we speak. I may even throw in a few more one-shots which serve to inspire me as I work on this story.