Chapter 8
(Now starting in Episode 1 of Season 4)
Well, it's been well over the seven weeks Hershel said that I'd recover. He looked me over a few days ago and stated that I still won't be able to do any serious physical activities just to be sure; he wants me to give it a few more days before I go back to my usual tasks around the prison.
Ever since I talked to Rick about having his gun with him a few weeks ago, he's been opening up to me a bit more. He's told me more about his life before this whole mess; he's told me about his wife, Lori, and explained how their marriage was trained even before everything went to hell. Just some nights ago, he cried to me a bit after talking about how Carl had to shoot his mother. Rick explained that he did not want his son to go through that…no parent would want his or her child to go through that. I held him in my arms as he quietly cried in my cell that night.
I make my way out of cell block C to the outside. It's some time in the middle of the day. I make my way to the farm and spot Rick crouching down, digging through the garden while listening to music with his cassette player. I continue to make my way toward him and he turns to see me. He brushes the gloves he's wearing together to wipe the dirt away and stands upright, smiling as he takes the earphones off.
"Howdy, farmer," I say with a smile as I open the fence and walk into the garden.
"Howdy," he responds as he places his hands on his hips.
"How's the garden looking?" I ask as I stand in front of him and gaze at the plants.
"Pretty well. I found a gun earlier buried in the dirt," he says as he looks over at the wheelbarrow.
"I've also noticed you're not wearing your gun in its holster," I say pointing at his waist. "I think that's a sign you should have your gun with ya."
Rick laughs a bit at my words and looks at the ground.
"You know I don't like wearin' it while doin' farm work…" he says.
I smile as I gaze over at the gates and see the walkers wandering outside of it.
"Damn those walkers…" I say as I continue to gaze in their direction. "They seem to just keep coming and coming…"
"Didn't Hershel say you can finally go back to your tasks and move about?"
"I explained to her not to go too crazy," we hear someone say from behind us.
We see that it's Hershel walking toward us.
"Knowing you, Michelle, you're bound to hurt yourself again," he says as he stands next to me on my left.
"You said it's fine if I do something if I feel good," I say as I rub my sides with my right hand. "I'm feeling good and ready to get some shit done."
Rick chuckles as he wipes his nose with the back of his hand and looks down at the garden. I eye Rick and then turn my eyes to Hershel and decide to mess with Rick a bit. Hershel smiles at me, knowing that I'm about to give Rick a heart attack.
"But, uhh…I'm going on a supply run with Daryl, Sasha, Tyreese, and Zach in a bit…" I say a bit slowly and turn my head away from Rick.
Rick darts his head at me with a serious gaze.
"Whoa, whoa! Easy there, sheriff/farmer Rick," I say holding my hands up and laughing. "I'm just messin' with ya."
"Good," he says with a serious face but then cracks a smile.
Hershel chuckles a bit at our behavior.
"How's Carl? I know he stayed up last night reading comics with me," I say.
"He bashed me for not wakin' him up this mornin' when I got up. I thought I'd let him sleep in because someone is a bad influence on him," he says gazing at me with his eyebrows up.
"Sorry about that," I say with a sheepish smile as I rub my neck. "He and I just get carried away with the comics Michonne brings us…Too bad we read all of them already, so you shouldn't worry about Carl and I staying up so late for a while."
"I hope so," Rick says with a small smile. "Are you goin' to teach me some more gardenin' tips, Hershel?"
"Yes," Hershel nods. "Did ya want to learn some gardenin' tricks too, Michelle?"
"It seems that gardening is the only safe thing I can do without busting my ass," I joke.
Hershel and Rick laugh.
"Alright then, come over here," Hershel says as he walks over and kneels on his one leg and supports himself with the prosthetic one.
Rick kneels on Hershel's left side and I kneel on Hershel's right in front of the plants.
"These leaves are gonna be in the shade," he begins to explain as he takes a hold of one of the plants. "So you won't get any good fruit from it…So, we just pinch it off here…" he says as he breaks a stem off one of the plants. "These break… but they could still grow…These little bristles," he continues as he shows me and Rick. "They'll take root…." He begins to bury the stem into the soil. "And you're gonna have a whole new plant."
From the corner of my eye, I spot Carl walking toward us. Rick also turns to see him.
"Hey, Carl," I greet him with a small wave.
"Hey, Michelle," he waves back with a smile.
We then hear a whistle from the front entrance gates. Rick and I turn our attention toward there and stand upright.
"Let's go!" Rick says turning to me then to Carl.
I pat Hershel's back as I begin to run with Carl and Rick toward the front gates. I run alongside Rick on his right.
"You doin' all right runnin'?" Rick asks me as we continue to run.
"Haven't done this in so long," I reply. "It feels great!"
We reach the front entrance gates. Rick and I pull on the rope that opens the two large doors in the front while Carl opens the sliding gate inside. Michonne rides in through the gates on our horse, Flame, and stops some 15 feet past us. We can see some walkers outside, so Rick and I quickly pull the chain down to close the two large front doors and Carl closes the sliding gate. Michonne jumps off the horse as Rick, Carl, and I run over to her with friendly smiles.
"Glad to see you," Rick says as we stop near her.
"Glad to see you, too," she responds with a smile. "Somebody hit the jackpot," she says as she reaches for a bag that's attached to the saddle of the horse and pulls out a pack of comic books and hands it to Carl.
"No way," Carl says in happiness as he grabs the pack. "Awesome! Thank you!"
"Great…now he and Michelle will be up all night reading comics again," Rick jokes as he glances over at me with a smile.
"I get to read'em when you're done," Michonne says as she gives me and Carl a smile.
Carl takes flame by the reigns and begins to leads her to the side of the pathway.
"And I found this…" Michonne says turning to Rick and handing him an electric shaving razor. "Your face is losing the war," she says regarding Rick's facial hair.
"Damn!" I say holding my fist up to my mouth, not being able to hold in my laugh.
Rick looks at the razor and chuckles.
"You gonna stay a little while?" he asks Michonne.
"Just a little while," she responds.
"Just a little while?" I ask in surprise. "You've been gone for a while!"
Michonne and Rick laugh at my statement. We then hear the revving of Daryl's motorcycle as he rides it up to where we are, with the SUV and my pickup truck behind him. Daryl stops his motorcycle in front of us and looks at Michonne.
"Well, look who's back," he says smiling at Michonne.
"Didn't find him," Michonne responds, referring to the Governor.
"Glad to see you in one piece," Daryl says with a nod, then turns to me. "And glad to see the cripple not being a cripple."
"Shut up, Daryl," I say with a smirk, making him laugh.
"I'm thinking of looking over near Macon," Michonne says to Daryl.
Rick looks at me with a reluctant look. He and I both know that the Governor's trail might have gone cold.
"It's worth a shot," Michonne says.
"70 miles of walkers," Daryl begins to say. "You might run into a few unneighborly types…I'm sure Michelle can speak on behalf of that," he slightly teases. "Is it?" he asks Michonne.
Michonne just stands there, not answering.
"I'm gonna go check out the Big Spot," Daryl says turning to Rick. "The one I was talkin' 'bout, just seein'," he says with a shrug.
"Yeah, I gotta go out and check the snares," Rick says while putting a hand on his hips. "I don't wanna lose whatever we catch to the walkers.
"I'll go," Michonne says to Daryl.
"You just got here," Carl says to her.
"And I'll be back," Michonne says to him with a smile.
Michonne then goes and boards the SUV with the rest of the group that's going out on the supply run.
"Take me with you…" I whisper to Daryl, loud enough for Rick to hear.
Rick just gazes at me with a raised eyebrow.
"Maybe not…" I say with a sheepish smile.
Daryl chuckles and pats Rick on the arm.
"Take care of this crazy gal for me, yeah?" he tells him.
I raise my middle finger at Daryl with a smirk and he smiles. Rick nods at Daryl. With that, Rick runs to open the two front doors and I run to open the sliding gate. Rick pulls on the rope and I open the sliding gate, allowing Daryl to ride past on his motorcycle, with the rest of the group driving in the SUV and my pickup truck out of the gates. As soon as they pass through, Rick and I close the doors and gate. He and I walk toward one another and head back up the dirt pathway to catch up to Carl.
"You like to upset me, don't you?" Rick asks me as he looks at the ground.
"It humors me when I scare you like that," I say with a childish smile.
Rick looks at me with a straight face but then cracks a smirk and shakes his head. We reach the farm near the stables and Carl has already put flame back inside it.
"Going to check the snares?" Carl asks Rick as we walk past him.
"I am," Rick answers as he walks up to him. "You're not…Do your chores. Read comics. Maybe some books, too. Hang out with Patrick…Maybe go to story time."
"Story time is fun," I say giving Carl a nod.
"That's for kids," Carl argues.
"Yeah," Rick says in an obvious tone with a smile, clearly stating that Carl's a kid.
Carl sighs and looks at the ground. Rick turns to Flame at the stable and goes to pet her.
"Now brush her down," he tells Carl as he kisses Flame on the head, making me smile at him.
He turns to me and we head to walk back to Hershel, who's standing behind us a few feet away.
"Nothing wrong with staying close, Rick," Hershel says as we stop in front of him. "Everyone understands…You're growing us enough food, so we don't need to do runs soon," he says raising his eyes brows at me. "But we do have to find you a good pair of overalls. You need to look the part. A little piece of wheat out the corner of ya mouth…Maybe a bigger ass."
Rick and I let out a laugh at Hershel's words.
"That'd be interesting," I say giving Rick a humorous smile.
"Yeah…" he says as he looks away with a chuckle and nods, biting his bottom lip.
"Listen…" Hershel begins to say to Rick. "The rest of the council – Daryl, Glenn, Carol, Sasha, all of'em…and Michelle – they wanted me to talk to you."
I look down at the ground, avoiding Rick's gaze.
"When you go out there," Hershel continues. "You gotta take ya gun."
Flame rides near the fence of the stable next to Rick and snorts.
"Easy now…" Rick says as he turns to Flame. "It's just outside the fence," Rick says as he turns back to Hershel. "I have my knife…I get in trouble, six bullets isn't gonna make the difference…"
"Rick…" Hershel says sternly. "We want you to be safe…Bring ya gun."
Rick keeps his gaze at the ground. I place my hand on his arm.
"Remember what we talked about…" I say giving him a pleading look.
Hershel smiles a bit at seeing this. Rick looks away then back at me and nods.
"I'd go with you," I say to Rick.
"To hell you're going out there in your condition!" Hershel interjects, causing Rick to laugh.
"I'd go with you…BUT," I say after rolling my eyes and smiling. "Hershel forbids that I leave the prison's gates…He's going to give me one last check up to confirm if I'm fully recovered."
"Good," Rick says with a stern nod and small smile. "I'll be back soon…"
With that, Rick walks away to get his gun. Hershel and I watch after him.
"He's just as stubborn as you are…" Hershel comments, making me laugh. "But at least ya helped me convince him to take his gun out there."
"It's the least I can do as a cripple…" I say jokingly.
Hershel chuckles a bit at my remark.
I'm sitting in one of the cafeteria rooms of the prison with Hershel, Judith in my arms. Hershel and I are waiting for Rick to come back from talking with Daryl and the group who came back from the supply run a while ago. He said he wanted to talk to us about something but didn't tell us what it was about. I am bouncing Judith on my lap as she smiles at me. It's late in the evening. I continue to make Judith laugh by playing with her hands and making funny noises. Hershel watches me and Judith with a smile.
"You make such a fine mother," Hershel says, surprising me.
"Well, what can I say?" I answer while holding Judith close to me. "I love kids…Judith reminds me of my daughter when she was an infant," I say as I play with Judith's hands again.
"I know what ya experienced with your daughter's horrible death," Hershel says. "This can be a good thing for ya…Judith can help you heal the pain that you have in your heart."
"She does," I say smiling at Hershel as I hug Judith.
Rick then walks in, a look of seriousness on his face. Hershel and I are concerned. Rick then walks over to me and holds his arms out to hold Judith.
"How's she doin'?" Rick asks as he smiles at her.
"She's doing well," I say as I let him carry her in his arms.
Rick walks back a few steps behind him, holding Judith closely and bouncing her a bit in his arms. Hershel can tell something's bothering him.
"What happened? What's wrong?" I ask him in worry.
"Daryl just informed me that Zach died on the supply run…" Rick answers, keeping his eyes on Judith.
"Oh my God…" I say in shock as I cover my mouth. "How's Beth? Has anyone told her?"
"Daryl is…" Rick answers as he places one of his hands over his eyes and sighs.
Hershel and I gaze at the ground in sadness at the news. I look up at Rick and see that he's staring at the floor with a look of despair.
"I can tell that the news about Zach isn't what's totally bothering ya…" Hershel says. "I know it's unfortunate, but that's not the only thing you're thinking about, Rick."
Rick looks up and gazes at the wall, holding Judith close. Hershel and I wait patiently for him to answer.
"When I went out to check the snares…" he finally begins to say. "I came across a woman who I thought to be a walker…Her name was Clara…She had told me she and her husband hadn't eaten for days and asked if I could take them in…Of course, I asked her to take me to her husband so I can talk to him first…She led me to the area they were supposedly camping in, but when we arrived, there's was no one else there…She tried to attack me with a knife, but I easily averted her attack…She explained that her husband was the only thing that kept her safe…He had turned, but she had his head in a bag nearby…I could hear it snarling through the bag…She ended up stabbing herself…When I asked her why, she answered, You can't come back from the things you've done…I was upset that I couldn't help her…"
Hershel and I gaze at Rick, listening closely. He rubs his face with one of his hands and looks up at me and Hershel.
"Her final words had left me some doubts about the things I've experienced and done…" Rick says. "I wish…I wish I could've stopped her…"
"You tried to help her," Hershel says. "You couldn't. No one could…Some people are too far gone – you're not."
Rick then begins to step back and forth, bouncing Judith in his arms. He kisses her on the forehead.
"You tried to help her…" Hershel repeats.
"How that woman wound up…" Rick begins to say. "I got close to that."
I then understand and recall what Hershel told me about in terms of how Rick nearly lost his insanity after losing Lori. I stare at him with sorrow in my eyes.
"If I lost Carl and Judith," Rick continues and then glances around. "If I lost this place…"
"Not then, Rick. Not even then," Hershel interrupts him. "You came back. Your boy came back…You get to come back. You do."
Rick then looks at Judith and smiles as she raises her arm up.
"Even Michelle, who's gone through so much," Hershel says as he holds his hand toward me. "She came back. She lost her family in some of the worst ways possible…Yet, she's still here, with us…She's living proof that people can come back…that there's still hope."
Rick gazes over at me with a look of wonder and thought. I gaze back and give him the same look before giving him a warm smile.
"I believe Michelle is a sign of hope," Hershel continues. "Even through all the beatings she takes, she still manages to get through with a smile and strong spirit."
I chuckle at his words and so does Rick.
"In all seriousness…" Hershel continues. "No matter what, we'll be here for one another."
Rick looks up at me and Hershel, holding Judith close to him, and nods.