So so sorry for the wait. I got blocked really bad and felt like writing this and my other story simultaneously was making them both suffer. At least as far as progress and timing went. So now, as far as Swan Queen big multi-chapter fics, I will only do this one until it's done. (this doesn't include the Beautiful Monster ficlets or any other pairing stories/ficlets) Anyhow, I hope you enjoy!

They walked through the building in silence now. Emma just followed Susan as they made there way up the stairs. Emma was thinking too much to really pay attention to their surroundings. She was actually focusing more on her feet and was surprised to hear Susan speak again.

"Regina, we found you."

Emma's head snapped up and she saw Regina standing there, caught in the sunlight from the open window beside her. She looked a little surprised as well, but Emma still smiled at the sight of her in this new, but somehow fitting environment. That was until a warm look was shared between the other two women and Emma's teeth came together tightly.

Heartache and Hope

Emma breathed through her nose and calmed herself. Not only was this not the time, nor the place to even have, let alone express the feeling she was experiencing, but honestly, she knew she had no right to feel this way at all. Regardless of whether or not there was something between these two women, Emma had no place to have an objection.

That didn't alleviate the sudden tension this redheaded woman created. Susan. Emma just met her and already, wasn't too fond of her. But then obviously, in whatever capacity, she seemed to make Regina happy. If the relaxed smile and way they talked easily for a moment while Emma shuffled around, was anything to go by. And for that, Emma couldn't allow herself to feel to negatively for this woman. Not without knowing what was going on at least.

So Emma calmed herself. She stood there awkwardly as they went over something for a moment and tried to figure out what to say. Just as her arrival here, no matter how much she prepared, there was no way to be ready when she saw Regina. The woman just overwhelmed her and Emma couldn't concentrate. Regina had far more control over Emma's emotions and wellbeing than she would ever imagine.

"Emma?"

The voice startled Emma and she was greeted with two surprised and amused expressions as she recovered. Feeling even more awkward and foolish now, Emma gave a small, embarrassed smile and the other two returned it.

"Would you like a tour?" Regina asked and she nodded, clearing her throat before she attempted to speak and embarrass herself again. This already wasn't going well.

"I'll be working on some filing in the basement if you need me." Susan glanced back towards Regina again.

"You can really leave that to me. I know you have a lot going on for tomorrow. I can handle the stuff here."

"Nonsense. I've already got my system going. It won't even take me long."

"If you insist." Regina shrugged, but she smiled.

"I do." Susan squeezed Regina's arm and spared her a soft smile before turning back the way she and Emma had come from. Emma looked after her before glancing at Regina and turning fully to face her.

"I hope this was an okay time. I just tried to get here after lunchtime."

"It's perfect." Regina assured, stepping to the side so Emma would move next to her before she started down the hall. "I wanted to make my rounds anyway, so this works out well."

"Good." Emma breathed out, feeling a little better now that she was here and things were moving. All her inner arguments and worries and anticipation were falling to the back of her mind now, as she could do nothing more to prepare. She was here, she was with Regina, now she just had to stay cool. Well, she would try.

She walked quietly next to Regina, the other woman's hands clasped lightly in front of her. How Regina managed to look to put together, was a mystery to her. But then she knew the woman well enough to know it was all a façade. Regina spent a lifetime building her walls. Emma had finally learned to break through them, only to personally help slam them back into place, now probably stronger than ever.

"Were you comfortable at the hotel?" Regina broke it again, seemingly wanting to keep the silence away. That was fine with Emma. She was feeling that guilt build up again and was grateful for the interruption.

"Yeah, yeah, it was fine. At least Henry found somewhere safe." She shrugged, still angry with her son over the very dangerous trip he made.

"Good. And how is he today?" Regina looked over curiously. She was still racking her brain as to why they were at the school this morning and was looking for a little enlightenment.

"He-" Emma stopped herself and let out a laugh. "He's actually at school." She shook her head as if it still amazed her. Regina just watched quietly. "It shouldn't be so shocking to know that Henry really planned this out. At least the logistics of his stay here."

"Meaning?" Regina pressed, though they were still walking casually, looking more together than they were.

"He enrolled himself in school. All by himself." She laughed again.

"So he's actually a student there?"

"Yeah, believe it or not. I went in and talked to the principal and everything. She was very nice and welcoming, just glad I stopped in. I'm sure she thinks I'm a horrible parent for sending him alone."

"Well they're pretty open here, I wouldn't worry. But…" She paused and their walking slowed, so Emma glanced over at her.

"Yeah?"

"Well, if you're allowing him to stay in school, does that mean…are you staying?" She asked and Emma shuffled a bit awkwardly as her gaze found the floor again. They stopped completely and faced each other and Emma took a few more seconds before choosing her words.

"To be completely honest with you, Regina, there really is no reason to hurry back home. Back to a shrinking town with my redundant routine where I sit in an office and patrol a peaceful town and listen to my so called friends talk about their picture perfect happy endings." She stopped herself as she felt that familiar frustration enter her tone. She didn't want to burden Regina and felt awkward again for nearly going off. She sighed and met Regina's eyes. "But to stay here…well I can think of a few reasons."

She shrugged and tried to determine how her words affected Regina. She couldn't read much, but she did see at least curiosity there. Again, she knew the walls Regina had in place were largely due to her. She was going to have to be patient here.

"I really don't know what the plan is. I know I have no room to talk compared to what you're going through, but this was pretty out of the blue. Right now, neither one of us is anxious to leave. As I said, we have no reason to. Henry actually wanted to go to school, and really…I just couldn't find a good reason to pull him out." She shrugged again and smiled softly.

"I see." Regina looked down at her feet and stepped forward again, moving down the hall.

Emma was still watching close, trying to gauge her responses. She followed behind and stepped up next to her. When her arm accidentally brushed Regina's, she felt the other woman make just the slightest shift, but she didn't move away, and so Emma didn't either.

Regina cleared her throat and Emma got the feeling the conversation was going to be dropped for now. She didn't mind though. As much as she wanted to know how Regina was feeling, she knew they couldn't handle so much so soon.

"So, this area up here is where the teenagers like to be. When we were just working on this place, the kids that came to help would always end up hanging out up here, so we decided to let it be there place." Regina spoke calmly, her tone relaxing at the change in discussion.

Emma nodded and reluctantly stepped away to look around, finally paying some attention to her surroundings. It was a neat place, she had to admit. She imagined there would have had to be a substantial amount of work and funding to pull it off, but if anyone could, it would be Regina.

Emma could tell it was a teen's environment. This floor had several rooms with posters, TV's, games, computers. The area already looked kind of lived in and Emma thought it looked rather comfortable. She would have enjoyed some place like this when it had been her in the system.

"This is really cool, Regina." She continued circling the room, missing the pleased smile that found it's way to Regina's face.

"Thank you, dear. We let some of them choose the décor, so I didn't have much to do with the look of it."

"That's even cooler. I bet they loved that." She said and Regina tilted her head.

"They would have loved it if I let them run off with my credit card unsupervised, but of course I couldn't allow that."

"Probably a good idea. If it had been me back them, you wouldn't have seen that card again." She laughed and came back to face Regina, leaning on the wall. Regina smiled again and the two paused for just a moment.

Regina still had that relaxed posture. She held the soft smile and for that moment, didn't turn away or throw her walls back up. For that moment, she was unguarded and looked at Emma like she had when things were simpler. Before everything changed and both were forced into new lives.

It was just when Emma finally opened her mouth to say something- anything really, to try and express herself to the woman before her- that a sound from the hall took their attention. Emma shook off the immediate irritation at the ruined moment and tilted her head, realizing it sounded like wheels on the floor.

Sure enough, a girl, maybe fifteen or so, flew by the room her and Regina stood in, a skateboard making her sail down the hallway. Emma looked to Regina who was shaking her head. When the teen, unaware of the adults occupying the room they were in, made her way back down the hall again, Regina reached a hand out and grasped her arm, making her stop suddenly.

"Regina?!"

Emma nearly snorted at the guilty look on this girl's face. It was amusing in more ways than one. She definitely sported the oh shit look Emma was all too familiar with, but it was also the physical similarities to herself she couldn't ignore.

This kid could have been her as a teenager. The blonde hair and beanie, the ripped jeans and hoodie- it all reminded Emma of herself in a nearly startling way. She tried to shake out of the sudden flashbacks to her youth and focus.

Regina let go of the kid's arm and crossed her own over her chest. The disapproving look was another thing Emma was familiar with.

"I'm pretty sure I've told you more than once there is no skateboarding inside, isn't that right?" She asked in the usual authoritative and in-control tone she always managed, no matter the situation. The teenager looked down at her feet as she shuffled slightly and Emma almost laughed again at how alike they were.

"Yes. I'm sorry." She looked truly apologetic and Regina shook her head again as she sighed.

"Why aren't you in school right now?" She tilted her head as the blonde girl instantly averted her gaze again. "Chelsea?" She placed her fingers under the girl's chin and lifted so she'd meet her eyes again. "Did you skip school again?"

"I didn't skip, I just left early. It's not a big deal."

"Not a big deal? Chelsea, you can't just leave school. I assume Becky doesn't know you're here?" She lifted an eyebrow and the teenager frowned.

"No. You're not going to tell her, right?"

"Honey, I'm not going to lie to her, and neither are you. Come on, I'm driving you over there." She put a hand on her shoulder to lead her out but Chelsea stopped and looked pleadingly at her.

"Regina." She whined and pouted as she looked at Regina. "Please, can I just stay here? I really don't wanna go back right now."

Emma watched as Regina stood and stared at the girl for another moment. Watching them interact was fascinating and she couldn't look away. Regina looked like she was really debating it and after another few seconds, she sighed heavily.

"No skateboarding. No TV. You sit in there and do your homework and any other work you missed from leaving school, before you do anything else. Am I clear?" She looked sternly at Chelsea who was biting back a smile.

"Crystal." She nodded and Regina narrowed her eyes.

"And you're still explaining this to Becky later." She said and Chelsea's head dropped.

"Fine." She mumbled.

"Alright, get to work."

She put a hand on Chelsea's back and led her into one of the other rooms- desks, tables and computers filling this one- and waited until the teen had her backpack opened before stepping back in to the hallway where Emma was waiting, still watching in fascination.

"Sorry about that." She said and Emma shook her head.

"It's no problem." She smiled and followed Regina back towards the steps taking them down to the main level.

"She's a good kid. She just doesn't do so well with rules."

"Well she seems to respect you. That's impressive. When I was her age, I don't think I would have listened to anyone...no matter how pretty they were." Emma added the last part quietly and saw Regina's eyes snap up before she looked away and shrugged.

"Well trust me, she didn't in the beginning. When I came in, she didn't appreciate another adult showing up out of nowhere and taking over. It took some time, a couple fights and a few heart to hearts before she came around." Regina's lips tilted up subtly as she turned and they made their way down the steps and onto the next level.

Emma smiled at her. Regina was so different when talking like this. All the awkwardness and tension between them dissipated when she was talking about her life here, and Emma just liked watching her. Seeing her happy was doing more than Emma would have thought.

"Well I'm impressed." She said softly. Regina glanced at her.

"About the center or that I managed to befriend a teenager?"

"All of it." Emma replied right away, holding Regina's gaze.

Once again, they paused and faced one another. Like every time, they held each other's eyes and both tried to read the other. Studying every little feature. Taking note of every twitch and flinch.

Emma took a deep breath and stepped a few inches closer. She felt her nerves growing rapidly in the silence, but tried to ignore her quickly beating heart and focus in on Regina.

"Regina, um…" She breathed out and smiled lightly. "would you…would you go to dinner with me? Tomorrow? I mean, just so…like just so we can talk and catch up some more? I'd really like to just…talk. About everything." She realized she was rambling slightly and paused, giving another embarrassed smile.

Regina looked surprised briefly, her eyebrows raising as she watched the hopeful look take over Emma's now unguarded face. She took her own steadying breaths and tried to think past the smile pulling at Emma's lips and the tugging in her own chest at the painfully beautiful familiarity there.

"I can't." She started and didn't miss how all the hope in Emma's face just crumpled away. She could relate to that feeling and those memories were what kept her from changing her answer.

"Right. I understand." Emma couldn't hide the disappointment she felt, but tried to control herself. Regina held up a hand and shook her head.

"It's not that I don't want to." She clarified. "I promised Susan I would help her. She's throwing this huge welcome home party and I have to be there for her."

At the mention of Susan's name, Emma took a small step back and felt that irritation again. And again, she knew it was wrong. She had no right to feel that way, but it didn't help to know that. It just made her feel even worse.

"Right, of course." She tried to smile it off. She shrugged like the answer didn't concern her and she wasn't as affected as she truly was. She didn't know how closely Regina was studying her to see right through it all.

"Perhaps you and Henry would like to come over for dinner the next night. Wednesday. That way I don't need to worry about getting a sitter Lilly would be comfortable with."

Just like that, all the hope that had dissipated, reappeared in full force. Emma smiled and nodded, almost not trusting her voice. She cleared her throat first and this time, as her feet shuffled slightly, it was because of her excitement.

"That sounds great. Yeah…um, yeah…cool." She nodded, feeling stupid for getting so flustered, but she felt such relief that she didn't care. Regina let out a small laugh and nodded.

"Alright, well I should get to work. I have some things to get done before I pick up the kids."

"Totally. I'll let you go." Emma took a few steps before turning back to look at Regina again.

"Thank you, for seeing me today. You…you look really nice." She smiled shyly and Regina gave her a small one back.

"Thank you, Emma. I'll see you Wednesday."

"Bye." Emma watched her disappear back down the hall before she finally started moving towards the door again. She hadn't even seen most of the place, but didn't even notice, her thoughts only on Regina.

She felt so clueless about everything, but such hope at the same time. The worst case scenario of being completely blown off wasn't happening. Regina hadn't shown any signs of wanting Emma to leave or let her be. While her dream of reuniting with Regina wasn't exactly playing out like she'd want either, she was still so much better off than some of the things she'd imagined over the years.

But then what these two years had taught her, was that Regina was worth the extra effort. She was worth the time and the work Emma could see would have to be put in if she stood a chance.

If she stood a chance.

Emma felt so aware of just how clueless she was about those chances. Regina wasn't shoving her away, but she wasn't grabbing and holding on either. If she was interested, than her reluctance to show it was most likely out of fear and that realization only stirred the guilt that filled Emma even more.

She couldn't ever pretend she wasn't the one that screwed it up. If Neal had never shown up, then none of this likely would have happened, but there was no way of knowing that and Emma always had a choice. What she knew, was that she didn't fight for Regina when she needed to, and so why would Regina trust her enough to open herself again?

Last time she had been rejected and Emma knew the fear of trusting someone that did you wrong. No matter how hard Neal tried, Emma never forgot what he did o her. She was afraid the same would be said of Regina.

"Leaving already?"

Again, Emma visibly startled at the voice interrupting her thoughts. Her hand shot to her chest and she looked wide eyed at Susan standing only a few feet away.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to frighten you." She said with an overly bright smile. Emma shook her head.

"You're fine. I wasn't paying attention." Emma gave a tight smile and went to step around Susan.

"Are you alright? You seem a bit flustered." Susan looked up and down Emma and the blonde paused to regard her.

"Of course. I'm actually great. Reina and I just decided we're going to meet up later in the week. I guess that's put me in a good mood." Part of Emma realized how juvenile this was, but she couldn't help the need to say something. She was growing more and more uncomfortable with the thought of what this woman may feel for Regina and wanted to make it clear why she was here.

"That's…good." Susan replied somewhat hesitantly. Emma tilted her head slightly and Susan cleared her throat. "I'm sure it'll be nice to catch up with an old friend." The emphasis was clear. So was the narrowing of Emma's eyes.

"Well I don't know if Regina's shared much with you, but we're not just old friends." Emma was past caring what she sounded like. She may be lost and confused about how to handle Regina, but now that she was feeling threatened, she was reacting without thought.

"Actually, Emma, she's shared quite a bit." Susan's tone lost some of the friendliness. She stepped closer, reminding Emma of some of her earlier arguments with the woman who was the center of their conversation. And like Regina, Susan wasn't intimidated by the woman standing in front of her. "Quite a lot of about the woman who didn't choose her."

"Excuse me, but that's none of your business." Emma defended, not appreciating having her biggest mistake thrown back at her by this woman.

"Regina is my business. I care about her. We care about each other. And I will not stand by and watch someone come back into her life because they changed their mind and want to try again. I won't risk her getting hurt." She leaned forward and Emma could hardly believe this was the woman she met just a short while earlier. "Regina is happy now. Perhaps it's best to think about that."

Susan took a few steps down the hall before Emma's voice made her stop.

"I'm not giving up. I'm here and I plan on being part of her life." She said seriously. Susan held her eyes without wavering.

"Well I guess you and I have something in common."

Susan turned on her heel and walked away with her head held high. Emma was left gaping, her shock keeping her still for another few moments. By the time she was finally moving, she hardly even realized it.

She took an extra moment to find her rental car, not recognizing the vehicle, and she drove without paying enough attention. She sat in the parking lot at the school her son enrolled in and just stared out the window as she waited.

The emotional switch was hard to deal with. She had been so nervous, and then excited and then within moments, was questioning everything she thought about being here and seeing Regina again.

It took Emma the two hours left of school, sitting alone in the car before she decided how to proceed. It took two hours of silence to clear her mind and sort her thoughts. Two hours of thinking about Regina and Susan and her and Henry and Luca and Lilly. Two hours of deciding what they all meant to her. Two hours to reconfirm what she wanted. What she needed. And what she was willing to do.

When Henry got into the car two hours later, Emma was ready for him. He eyed her determined look skeptically.

"What are we doing?" He asked finally to break the silence. Emma smiled.

"We're going to put our "finding people" skill to use."

"Why?"

"Because we need to find where someone lives." She said casually, as she started the car.

"And why?" Henry asked again. Emma glanced at him before putting the car into gear.

"Because I'm going to a party."