Marissa sat by Bianca's bedside for what felt like an eternity, unable to take her eyes from her girlfriend's face. Waiting for any flicker of movement, any hint of change. What had David done to her? He told them he would help Bianca but Griffin's warnings had painted a much bleaker picture and Marissa didn't know who to believe.
Bianca looked so peaceful in her unconsciousness, there was a small smile on her lips and Marissa wondered if she was dreaming. Marissa brushed her fingers lightly against Bianca's soft cheek remembering doing the exact same thing last night as they kissed goodnight… She tried to stay positive… everything was going to be alright… but the fear kept dragging her back to a bad place. In the end the images playing in her mind of Bianca paralysed and scared and pushing her away were so vivid she had to close her eyes and turn away from the bed.
"Oh Bianca." she sighed, "Please be okay!"
It took her a moment before she opened her eyes again, trying to find a new focus, trying to be strong. Willing her all her love, she took Bianca's unmoving hand in her own … but what if she couldn't feel it?
She closed her eyes again as the fear returned… she didn't ever remember feeling so afraid…
Or did she…
…
She remembered following Kendal into the Gallery conference room to find Bianca lying unconscious on the floor, blood on her face and Griffin kneeling over her as Ryan's footsteps echoed down the corridor as he tore after JR…
fear…
She remembered the worry in JR's voice when he told her over the phone he didn't know where AJ was; and the cold realisation that her little boy had run away from home…
fear…
She remembered waking up in hospital with no memory of who she was; every fact about herself an alarming blank and the expectant stare of strangers surrounding her bed…
fear…
She remembered Bianca pale; blood on her neck… a room filled with thunderous gun shots and screams … and then looking up into cold blue eyes glaring at her…JR… and the barrel of a gun as his finger tightened on the trigger…
fear…
…
Marissa's eyes shot open at the memory of JR. She could almost hear the click as he pulled back the trigger; his gun aimed straight at her head…
But even as she tried to hold onto the moment still more images flashed through her mind, it was like the flood gates had been opened…
…
She remembered a sneer on a once kindly face.
"Marissa you have such bad timing." said Ricky cruelly before he grabbed her arm. He clamped his hand over her mouth, smothering her, as he pushed her back down onto the hotel room bed across Bianca's unconscious form…
fear…
She remembered waking up on the cold attic floor to the choking smell of gas. The world was spinning, and she could barely see to move, her head hurt so much. Someone must have hit her… Annie! Annie was trying to kill her…
fear…
She remembered outside the courtroom, how the scuffle of Police as they wrestled the gun from Marion seemed strangely muffled and distant. And then the realisation that she had fallen on the floor and there was a sharp pain in her chest and she was struggling to take a breath. She had been shot and she couldn't even remember hearing the gun blast. She was dying…
fear…
She remembered the edge of sympathy in the police officers voice. "I'm so sorry for your loss." And in that moment Marissa knew she was all alone in the world now her parents were dead…
fear…
She remembered how the shape of the shadow on her bedroom wall seemed to creep towards her. Daddy always said that there were no such things as monsters, but the shadows at bed-time always seems to close in around her bed threatening to smother her…
Only daddy would never let anything hurt her or scare her. Her daddy believed anything is possible if you were only prepared to try. Her daddy knew a song that would always chase the bad things away…!
…
Marissa found herself singing and as the words of the song slowly came to her, she felt like she had reclaimed a part of herself.
"Da da-da da,
Near and far
We will be together,
So hush, don't you cry,
You will be,
In my arms… forever more."
She remembered!
…
Marissa was brought back down to earth by the moan that escaped Bianca's lips.
"Bianca!" gasped Marissa. Leaning down so that the first thing her girlfriend would see waking up was her smiling face.
Bianca moaned again as her eyes slowly opened.
A small smile of recognition lit Bianca's face but only briefly.
"It hurts." Bianca groaned.
Marissa felt elation wash over her as she felt Bianca's grip tighten in her own and the signs of movement under the blanket as she awoke, slight shifts of her legs and her left arm. Bianca wasn't paralysed… she could move, she could feel!
"It's okay." said Marissa squeezing her hand. "Griffin said it is common to will feel discomfort after a spinal injection. Just don't try to move too much. I'll call him in, he will be glad you're awake."
Marissa moved to press the buzzer but Bianca's grip tightened on her hand and her moan took on a sharper edge.
"No." Bianca sobbed. "It hurts… please… please…make it stop…" her words becoming lost as they grew into a whimper.
"Bianca!" Marissa cried, Bianca's grip was like a vice. Bianca wasn't really hearing her. Her eyes were out of focus and she was trying to curl herself into a ball.
"It hurts…" wailed Bianca, her mouth open in a silent cry as she turned to bury her face in her pillow trying to escape the pain.
"You have to try not to move." said Marissa, panic entering her voice as she tried to stop her girlfriend rolling onto her side, but the tears of torture on Bianca's face as her moans turned to screams of real torment was almost unbearable.
The hospital room door burst open and Griffin raced in, followed by Frankie.
Bianca howled as she pushed Marissa away, her words barely legable any more. She was writhing in agony, her back arching so much her shoulders were lifted from the bed. "Make it stop!"
Marissa felt firm hands on her shoulders pulling her back as the two doctors moved to restrain Bianca. Marissa then felt herself being pulled into an embrace. She knew it must be Kendal but she couldn't tear her eyes away as Griffin filled a needle from a vial while Frankie wrestled to keep Bianca still enough for him to inject the needle into her neck.
Gradually Bianca's movements stilled as her eyes closed and a peaceful expression returned to her features.
…
Marissa was aware of Griffin speaking and Kendal asking questions but their voices sounded muffled and far away. She reached up and touched her own cheek; almost surprised to find it was wet… she was crying. Marissa felt like she was cocooned away from everything else. All she could see was Bianca and all she could feel was the fear…
… and the memory of the song that meant everything had vanished just as quickly as it came.
…
*Sorry for the late post. A rotten virus ruined my Jubilee – and I'm still feeling a little spacey - I just hope this chapter flows…
And that you'll forgive me.
:o)*