A/N: Um...yeah I'm sorry. I'm just sorry. I hate when stories don't update, even if I don't blame the writer, so for that I feel bad. I have just been completely blocked on this every single time I tried to write. But finally, inspiration hit and I managed to break through that. I make zero promises on the next updates because you never know, but FINALLY, here is the next chapter. I hope you enjoy :)

It took Emma the two hours left of school, sitting alone in the car before she decided how to proceed. It took two hours of silence to clear her mind and sort her thoughts. Two hours of thinking about Regina and Susan and her and Henry and Luca and Lilly. Two hours of deciding what they all meant to her. Two hours to reconfirm what she wanted. What she needed. And what she was willing to do.

When Henry got into the car two hours later, Emma was ready for him. He eyed her determined look skeptically.

"What are we doing?" He asked finally to break the silence. Emma smiled.

"We're going to put our "finding people" skill to use."

"Why?"

"Because we need to find where someone lives." She said casually, as she started the car.

"And why?" Henry asked again. Emma glanced at him before putting the car into gear.

"Because I'm going to a party."

There are no Knights in California

Henry sat still on the bed while Emma paced around the room. He would have been concerned under different circumstances. He should be worried by the way Emma was acting, declaring she knew what she had to do and then not explaining herself. But Henry couldn't remember the last time he'd seen his birth mother so lively or excited about anything, and so instead of worrying, he sat patiently and awaited whatever plan she was scheming up. He just hoped she'd calm enough to explain herself.

"We have to be careful." She started, finally, still pacing back and forth. "I mean, we can't just demand anything or force her to choose us. That wouldn't be cool."

"Careful about what, exactly?" Henry attempted to get her attention, but Emma was too distracted in her own head to notice.

"I mean, this is a delicate situation. Regina's like…like a butterfly. A butterfly we finally found, sitting peacefully. We can't just barge in and scare her off. But then on the other hand, if we don't act, we'll never be able to have her."

"Did you just compare Mom to an insect?" Henry chimed in again, looking amusedly at the mumbling woman. Emma still didn't notice and kept moving.

"So I guess we need to decide, is it better to act or give her some space? Like I said, we can't scare her off. But she needs to know how serious we are. She needs to know what happened before was a huge mistake. One we both regret more than anything. One that will never happen again."

"So why don't we just talk to her? Tell her?" Henry watched Emma, finally understanding some of her babbling. She kept mumbling though, and so Henry stood in her path of pacing and blocked her. "Mom?!"

Finally, awareness seemed to appear in Emma's eyes. She blinked at Henry a few times and shook her head.

"What?"

"Why don't we just tell her why were here? Tell her how we feel and that we want to be a family?" He said reasonably and Emma stared for a moment.

"We can't just tell her that. I mean, we can't just say, 'hey, I know it's been awhile, but wanna get back together? Maybe be a family?' I mean…that's too much pressure."

"I drove across the country, showed up completely unannounced after two years. You showed up a day later and the same day she takes in a new kid. I mean…haven't we already put all this pressure on her? At this point, we might as well go all in. How much worse can it get?"

"Famous last words." Emma muttered as she plopped down onto the bed and fell back as her eyes closed. Henry walked across the room and picked up Emma's laptop before coming back to sit next to her. He sighed and looked at his birth mother's stressed expression.

"You did find the address after all."

Regina found herself running around all morning. She dropped off Luca and Damian as normal before taking Lilly to daycare and then hadn't stopped since then.

She liked it though. She liked the distractions. She liked the work. She liked helping and being a part of something. She had no idea what to do about Emma, but this, she could do.

Regina was in the yard at Susan's house, dropping off the supplies she had rounded up, when the red head stepped out with iced tea in hand.

"Have I told you how much I love you?" Susan greeted, extending the drink towards Regina. The other woman smiled and accepted, shaking her head at Susan.

"It's nothing."

"Nothing? I couldn't have done this without you. I feel like I've been planning this forever, but I'm still unprepared and I have to leave in an hour-"

"Please. You are a professional at handling these situations. You were doing all these things long before you ever met me. I'm merely lending a hand."

"A very helpful one. I'm extremely grateful."

"Yes well, so am I." Regina gave a small smile before she sipped from her drink. Susan tilted her head slightly.

"Emma?" The only response she got was a subtle nod before Regina drank slowly from her glass. "Are you nervous?" She asked in a way of changing conversation.

Susan wasn't surprised. She could so easily see how effected Regina was by the new woman's presence. She only hoped Emma took her words seriously.

"Yes and no. I'm always nervous but I'm excited and I'm really glad you're going to be here and Luca and Lilly as well." She smiled fondly and Regina couldn't help the small surge of affection for the woman that genuinely cared for her and her family and wanted them near.

"As am I." She responded and took another sip. After a few moments though, Regina looked at her watch and placed the glass down. "I should get going. It's time to get the kids. I'll be back shortly."

Seeing Lilly helped. Lilly did great at daycare, she was used to her teachers and the other children. But then she was incredibly shy by nature. So when Regina arrived to pick her up, she was unsurprised to see the little girl sitting quietly alone at a table. When Lilly saw her though, the girl lit up instantly and ran right over to the woman, making Regina forget any anxiety or worries she had.

Once Regina pulled her into her arms, Lilly just tucked her head to Regina's shoulder and relaxed completely. When her little arms wrapped tightly around Regina's neck, she just couldn't ignore the feeling in her chest. The warmth and love and joy that reminded her that no matter what she had done or endured in her life, she was worthy of having love and being loved. Her children reminded her of that.

Regina took a few minutes with Lilly. Just cuddling the girl in her arms and asking her about her day. Mothering her in a way she hadn't been able to before recently. She needed this as much as Lilly did and took the time to calm herself.

She got the same feeling when she picked up the boys. It was why she decided to treat them to ice cream after school. She wasn't one to spoil appetites, but she knew dinner would be off already due to the party, plus they had to kill some time, so figured they all deserved something special.

"We ate with Henry today." Luca brought up as they sat out in the sun with their ice cream cones in hand.

"You did? And how did…how did that go?" Regina tried to ask casually. Luca noticed though, having grown rather attuned to her subtle changes in tone.

"It was fine. He wasn't very talkative, but I think he's getting along well here."

"That's great." Regina's smile came a little easier. She didn't see Henry when she picked up Luca and Damian and was happy to at least hear about him.

She looked over as Damian was attempting to gain a laugh from Lilly with some funny faces. The girl was having a hard time resisting and Regina grinned when her expression broke and a giggle escaped.

Regina turned her attention back to Luca and used a napkin to wipe the chocolate from his chin. He made a face at her and Regina internally smirked before making a show of licking her thumb and coming back for his face.

The boy dodged her first attempt but Regina launched at him and the two playfully fought as Luca tried to avoid her until Regina got a hold of him. Luca squirmed in her arms, but Regina held on tight and laughed out loud as the two wrestled on the park bench, neither noticing Damian, Lilly and nearly everyone else near them watching the show.

Regina finally won when her tickling fingers had Luca keeling over and she bent down to lay wet, sloppy kisses on his cheek.

"I give in! I give in! Mum, please!" Luca gasped and Regina kissed him one more time before releasing him. They were all smiling and the tension Regina had been carrying was basically nonexistent as her children's giggles sounded around them.

"Alright, alright." She laughed. "Come on. We should get going."

Regina took Lilly's hand and walked them back towards the car. It took her all the way until all three kids were secured safely in their seats before thoughts of missing family members caused the tightening of her neck muscles again and the tension finally released was back in full force.

Her fingers were drumming rhythmically on the steering wheel. The motions were completely involuntary, her mind far from the tempo of her percussion break against the wheel. But still, despite her distraction and anticipation, her fingers beat evenly and Henry figured that was why it didn't annoy him so much.

They had been sitting here for awhile now. It wasn't hard to find Susan's house. Henry actually wished it would have been because then they wouldn't have arrived so early and Emma wouldn't have had time to lose what courage she had conjured the day before.

That was why they were sitting here now. They had seen Regina arrive with Luca and Lilly as well as Damian a few hours earlier. Since then, they had left and returned, left again and sat in a McDonald's for awhile, before coming back and sitting here again.

Henry decided to be patient. It wasn't the easiest, but Emma clearly needed to work through this herself. After all, anytime he tried to help, they ended up driving away.

So Henry sat in silence and watched from their spot tucked in a cul-de-sac across the street. He couldn't help the brief waves of guilt, inadequacy, and jealousy that came as he observed the family that was once his to have, if only he had taken it.

Luca was just such a perfect kid. Henry watched him be the perfect son, running around to help their mother. To help Susan. To do whatever was needed. He watched Luca be the perfect big brother Henry had had the option of being, as he gave Lilly piggy back rides around the yard, playing and looking out for her as big brothers should.

As the time passed and party goers arrived and more kids joined in, Henry couldn't help but wonder if he could fit in there. If he would look out of place in the sea of smiles and giggles and mohawk shaved heads.

Lost in his thought, it took a few seconds to notice the car was silent. Looking over, Emma's fingers were still and white as they gripped the steering wheel tightly. He followed her intense gaze to see Regina had stepped outside the front door and made her way over to Luca and Lilly.

Regina talked to them for a moment, her fingers affectionately running through dark locks on the little girl, her other arm coming to rest around the active boy's shoulders.

She was smiling. Genuinely, without any of the barely concealed pain Henry usually witnessed. She looked completely relaxed and happy and it had the pair spying from their hidden spot completely mesmerized.

Henry resisted the urge to speak. He had no interest in driving away again and restarting the entire process. So he waited in silence as Emma watched the family of three start walking around the side of the house to the backyard where they could see most people were socializing.

Suddenly and rather unexpectedly, Emma was out of the car. Not even a word. Henry figured she finally saw her window and was acting.

He wouldn't stop her.

In fact, he was out in seconds, trailing after her.

Emma had to stop herself from jogging. She watched Regina walking around the house and seized the moment. Though by the time she was finally to the house and her feet met the perfectly cut grass, the woman had already disappeared into the backyard.

Emma paused and Henry collided with her back, not expecting the sudden stop. Emma finally managed to snap out of the trance like state and turned to Henry.

He knew that look instantly and stood solidly in front of her.

"Just go talk to her." He encouraged, his expression full of hope.

Emma looked around indecisively until her gaze landed on the brunette, having made her way to the hostess of the party, engaged in a conversation with her and another man. It was when a soft hand landed on Regina's arm that green eyes seemed to really focus.

"Okay." Was all Emma said before her feet were moving.

Numerous faces glanced towards the unfamiliar newcomers and Emma was finally taking note of her surroundings. She had been so tunnel-visioned but now that she was here, only seconds from Regina, the world was slowing and her pulse was quickening.

She was caught in Susan's gaze before anything else and the narrowed eyes made that now familiar surge of frustration and unfortunately, jealously, come to life again. As uncomfortable as it made her though, it fueled her and Emma managed, despite her own doubts, to make it the rest of the way.

"Well this is a surprise." Susan's tone was completely polite and Regina turned casually to see who Susan was speaking to. The moment her eyes landed on Emma though, confusion colored her features and Regina just stared momentarily.

"I'm so sorry to intrude," Emma began, keeping her own tone nothing but polite. "but I really needed to speak with you." Her gaze turned to Regina and the woman still looked so thoroughly confused by Emma's presence. Emma's eyes were pleading but Regina was shaking her head.

"What- what are you doing here?"

Anxiety, excitement, frustration and jealously were joined instantly by fear, guilt and a truckload of doubt as Regina's wary eyes studied Emma's own desperate ones.

"I…I just need to talk to you. Now. It's…it's important." She tried to convey the need she had. Regina had always been so good at reading her, but now, startling her in the middle of her new friends in her new life, Regina just looked lost and confused and not for the first time, Emma realized just how long it had been since they had been connected to one another.

"Emma, I told you I could meet you tomorrow-"

"I know, I know, I'm sorry just- please will you talk to me?" Emma glanced from her to the people surrounding them, curious eyes from every direction on her.

When she refocused on Regina, she noticed the woman seemed to be trying to work this through as well. Shaking her head softly again, Regina glanced over to where Luca and Lilly were sitting, her son's curious and alert eyes watching carefully. She gave him a smile to ease any worry he had for her and when she was about to address Emma, she noticed Henry standing back as well, watching just as intently.

Emma could practically see Regina piecing things together as she looked from Henry back to her again. There was a split second where Emma rethought everything. Where she realized barging in was not the way to handle this and she shouldn't have gotten herself worked up over nothing. She could wait until tomorrow night and express her feelings then. She could wait.

But then it was that look. Before Regina said anything, she looked back to Susan and the woman was looking so intently at Regina, as if she could read her like Emma could. As if she could comfort Regina. As if she needed to.

So of course she reacted. She spent years regretting letting Regina go and she would be damned if she walked away now.

She stepped right up to Regina and the woman's eyes widened slightly.

"Emma-"

"Regina, I'm sorry. I know this is sudden and I'm sorry for startling you, but I can't risk waiting-"

"Emma, what are you talking about-"

"I know it's been a long time. And I know that's all my fault. I made the biggest mistake of my life not defending you. Not stopping you that night. I have spent every single day since then regretting it."

"Emma-"

"And I can never tell you how sorry I am."

She continued and Regina glanced around them. Susan took a step closer but Emma spoke again before she could interrupt.

"I don't blame you for moving on." She glanced at Susan, who's eyes were watching her very intently now, and then back to Regina.

"Emma…" Regina was shaking her head again but Emma wasn't stopping.

"But Regina, we were always meant to be together. I know I ruined it, but if you'll give me another chance-"

"Emma, please stop. Now is not the time-"

"I'm sorry to do this in front of her but I can't risk losing you again. No matter what you feel for her-"

"Emma." Regina's voice was suddenly far more stern and it jolted the blonde. "Stop. Please." She looked hard into Emma's eyes before glancing back at Susan. Emma felt her stomach drop then, but was still completely unprepared when Regina continued. "Emma this is a welcome home party for Jack. Susan's husband. He just got home from a tour overseas…this afternoon."

Emma froze.

She wasn't sure if she had ever been more desperate to disappear into nothing. And with her history, that was saying something. She could feel her cheeks burning and knew everyone could see it.

But that wasn't the worst. Emma couldn't care less what she felt like because when she saw the embarrassment in Regina's own expression, nothing else mattered.

"I'm sorry." She spoke quickly as she glanced around. Her eyes landed on Susan and her eyes narrowed. "I…I thought you two were…together." She looked back at Regina and once again saw her emotions mirrored back as confusion came from her as well.

"Why would you possibly think that?"

"B-because she…she was all…protective and threatening." Emma looked almost desperate in her confusion and obvious embarrassment and Regina looked almost sympathetic, but then turned to her friend instead, who was stepping away from her completely dumbfounded husband to join them.

"Regina is my friend. But not just any friend. I care about her. There's no way I'm going to sit back and watch someone flip her life upside down if they weren't willing to put the work into it. If they weren't truly serious."

"You were…testing me?" Emma asked and briefly wondered if she passed with flying colors or just knocked herself out of the game completely. Judging by the woman's reactions, it seemed Susan hadn't quite prepared for this.

"I will talk to you later." Regina glanced at Susan first and for a split second, Emma found the scene almost comical. What with Susan's guilt like expression at the nearly scolding tone Regina used with her. But then Regina's eyes were on Emma again and the feeling dissipated in a heartbeat.

Emma followed Regina back towards the front again, where no one remained and they had some privacy. Emma took a few deep breaths as she looked to her own shifting feet and then regarded the woman who's expression was startlingly unreadable.

"Well that was embarrassing." She tried to lighten the mood again, but got no response. Clearing her throat, she started again. "You know, I'm really sorry for that, but I swear I meant-"

"I want you to leave." Regina's soft but firm voice cut in and Emma's jaw slowly fell open.

"You…what?" She stared right at Regina as the woman spoke slowly and evenly again.

"I want you, to go."

"Regina, I-"

"You can't do this." Regina stopped her again, her expression hardening slightly. "You can't just waltz in here and turn everything upside down. That's not how it works." She finished and Emma was instantly shaking her head and stepping forward.

"I just wanted to-"

"You just wanted a grand gesture that would instantly fix everything. But that doesn't work here, Emma. This isn't the fairy tale land your parents told you stories of. This isn't Storybrooke. This isn't a world where problems and lives are magically fixed because some kind of knight in shining armor shows up to heroically save the day.

"There are no knights here. There are no instant happy endings. There are friends and families and jobs and lives that are worked for. I have worked for everything I have here. Do you think it's fair to just march in out of nowhere and become a part of everything I've made for myself?" She paused but Emma was speechless, her body completely immobile. "It's not, Emma. I'm sorry."

Emma looked away for a few seconds before speaking quietly.

"I never intended-"

"I know…" Regina breathed and softened her tone. "I know. But I have a life. A family that loves me unconditionally, a real friend that actually cares about me without expecting a single thing back and a job I truly love. I don't need a fairy tale. I don't need a knight in shinning armor…I don't want one."

Emma could see it again. All the emotions there, but held back. Walls up, Regina's feelings hidden from her again. There was a time when Emma was the only one to get beyond those walls. Now she was the only one kept out.

Regina took a step back and cleared her throat.

"I'm sorry." She met Emma's eyes for s brief second before turning away. "I have to get back to my children now." She started to walk and Emma took one step closer.

"I meant what I said." She started and Regina tuned just slightly back.

"Pardon?"

"I made the biggest mistake of my life when I let you go that night."

"Emma-"

"I'm not saying I'll stop you now." She reassured. "I know I really messed up here. But the thing I regret most in my life is not fighting for you... I won't make that mistake again."

There was something in her tone that had Regina looking straight into her eyes. She didn't say anything though. She couldn't.

So Regina did as she intended and walked away from her, leaving Emma once again.

So obviously I love reviews no mater what, but I'm truly curious as to your thoughts on this and the direction of the story. So if you want, let me know what you thought. :)