I pace back and forth as Phineas hands me a liquid. I inject it into Heinz's IV drip. I see the color returning to him.
"What was that?" I ask, amazed. Phineas pushes me and puts his hand on his fathers head.
"I need a fever reducer!" He says. I throw him a pill bottle. He glares at me.
"He is a drug induced sleep, and we get him to swallow pills!" He yells. I wince.
"Sorry!" I say. He shows a look of guilt. Ferb hands him a needle and he injects it into Heinz. Heinz's eyes flutter open.
"Perry... the pain's gone." He whispers. I smile in relief and press my lips to his. His lips begin moving and I feel his arms close around me. I can feel his lips form a smile. I notice his mouth tastes like bubblegum, but let the thought pass me. I climb on the bed as Heinz moves his hands into my hair. I hold myself up with my arms as his tongue dances with mine. I pull away smiling and notice the snickering children.
"Dad..." Phineas says as I move to sit at the foot of the bed.
"Phinnie..." Heinz says weakly as he embraces the young boy. Vanessa smiles and joins the hug. I move over and stand awkwardly with Ferb.
"So heartwarming, but me and 'Jeet gotta get some stuff done." I hear Bufords voice pipe up and the smacking of lips. I smile and wave goodbye, hanging up. Heinz turns to me.
"Children, could I have a word with Perry alone?" Heinz asks. Everyone walks out slowly.
"Perry, how are you here? I know Monobrow wouldn't allow it." He whispers.
"I quit." I say. He widens his eyes.
"For me? I'm not worth that much, and besides, its not like you're going to stay with me-"
"Heinz."
"... forever. Even if you do, which you probably wont due to my terrible personality and hello EVIL-"
"Heinz!"
"... which you do not go for. Plus I have kids, and I am scum to the city and constantly get made fun of-"
"HEINZ!" I scream, cutting him off. "I want to marry you." I say lightly. He gasps. I pull the old teddy bear out of my pile of stuff.
"Oh... you kept that old thing? I wondered where he went. Rodgers name is on it though... wait... my name is on it?" He asks. I throw a marker at him.
"Thank you Perry the former Platypus, that makes me feel appreciated. Now about getting married..." I pull out the once-worn wedding dress and throw it at him.
"HEY! Why would I wear the dress?" I laugh and shrug. I notice his gashes are obviously causing him pain. I take the dress from him, setting it on a chair, and begin to treat his wounds with the pink liquid. He smiles and lays back, enjoying the relief.
"Can we come in?" I hear Phineas pipe up.
"One second!" I yell back.
"So... yes?" I say quietly. Heinz nods enthusiastically and I peck his cheek.
"Come in kids!" I yell. They all come in, piling at Heinz's sides.
"Are you Candace's father too?" Phineas asks. He shakes his head 'no'. I clear my throat.
"I'm marrying your father." I say. Phineas smiles.
"That's nice. Now... about other dimension me? Does that mean... other dimension Dad tried to kill me?" He asks slowly. Heinz widens his eyes.
"I would never hurt you! Other dimension me is just crazy!" Heinz yells.
"You know... they were going to assign me to Rodney and make me call him Aloyse Everheart Elizabeth Otto Wolfgang Hypatia Gunther Galen Gary Cooper von Roddenstein." I say nonchalantly. Heinz laughs.
"How do you remember that... what is it? Aloyse Everheart Elizabeth Wolfgang Hyberia Gunther Cooper Otto Gary von Roddenstein?" He asks.
"No... Aloyse Everheart Elizabeth Otto Wolfgang Hypatia Gunther Gary Cooper von Roddenstien." I say again. Everyone starts laughing.
"I cant believe anyone calls him anything other than Rodney." Doof says.
"Neither can I!" Phin says, giggling. The laughter seizes as Phin pulls me into the hall.
"You... you and my father had sex last night, huh?" I widen my eyes.
"Why do you say that?" I say nervously.
"We did some backtracking on your body's structure. We kind of have an auto-scanner in our iPad. I mean, since Platypus eggs are... eggs, the children are conceived easier, and born faster."
"What are you saying Phineas?" I ask worriedly.
"I'm saying... you may or may not be carrying Dad's kid." I stuttered.
"What! Phineas I am male it is impossible!"
"We may think that Dad's -Inator gave you a womb..." He says. I pace back and forth.
"No... no it cant be happening." I say. Phineas holds the iPad up. I can clearly see a quickly growing baby. It already has been formed, and has tiny fingers.
"Phineas... I cant give birth to it..." I say. He nods.
"A C-Section. It has to happen. We can speed this up for you, and we can also keep it at the 6 day carrying limit. Other than that you will most likely die from the birth." He says, rotating the picture. I can clearly see the infant inside of me. I can also see that it is female.
"How... how could I tell Heinz. He has you two, he wouldn't want another one. He... he..." I broke down crying. The human experience is too much. Phineas pats my back.
"Perry, he loved us didn't he? He can deal with another little girl." He says. I smile lightly. I look down and notice, because of the lab coat my bloating is concealed.
"So... his -inator managed to get me pregnant, and speed up the carrying time? This... human stress is too much." I say. Phineas smiles.
"I'll have a little sister!" His eyes sparkle and I know I cant deny the child I am carrying. I walk back in, pretending to be angry.
"Heinz!" I yell. He looks to me.
"Heinz... your -inator is a failure!" I yell. He winces.
"Why?" He asks. I open my lab coat, revealing my stomach. Heinz looks at it curiously.
"I'm pregnant you idiot!" I yell, keeping the charade up. Heinz smiles, teeth brilliantly white. I could see the happiness in his eyes. I sighed and lied next to the man. He stroked my stomach.
"Another child... another little Doofenshmirtz." He says happily.
"I get to raise another kid. Vanessa, Phineas, you guys will have another little sibling!" I smile.
"Its a girl, you know." I say lightly. His smile only widens.
"O-Ooh! We could name her... Henrietta!" He says happily. I grin and notice Vanessa and the boys had left sometime.
"Where did that one come from Heinz?" I say. He flashes me a brilliantly white grin.
"Heinz + Perry is Henry. Henry as a girls name is Henrietta!" He says, filled with childish joy. He furrows his eyebrows.
"I don't understand how the child could be so developed though..." He starts.
"Its due in six days. I was a platypus, our children are carried for a week at lowest terms." I explain. He looks at my stomach and takes out his phone. He clicks something then flashes a picture. He shows me a digital vision of our daughter. I scroll around her. Heinz gapes.
"She's going to be beautiful..." I nod.
"Just like her father..." I say gently. He blushes.
"No... more like you." He says, rubbing my stomach.
"Also, du unser Kind gefallen werden?" I ask.
"Ja..." He says dozing off due to the medications.
"Schlaf gut mein Schatz." I say, kissing his forehead and walking out. Phineas, Ferb and Vanessa are sitting there, smiling.
"'Sleep well my treasure.' He says!" Phineas laughs. I blush.
"Come on... and when did you know Drusselstenian?" I ask. Phineas laughs and facepalms.
"The base words are the same as German... and I know German naturally.
"Uh... the doctor said Mr. Doofenshmirtz has made a full recovery! I don't know what you boys did, but we'd like to offer you two full time jobs!" Phineas begins to say a firm negative but Ferb interrupts.
"I might take you up on that offer." Ferb says, smiling. Phineas knits his eyebrows together.
"Ferb... what about me?" He asks. Ferb plants a kiss on Phineas' lips, leaving Phineas blushing. Ferb walked down the hall with the nurse and Phineas covered his lips. Vanessa and I walked over. I clapped my boy on the back. His lips quirked up and he grinned as wide as humanly possible. Heinz walked out as Phineas was spinning in joy.
"What did I miss?" He says. Phineas hugs him.
"F-Ferb kissed me!" He says jumping up and down. Heinz's face goes slack.
"He what?" Heinz says. I drug him to the side.
"Phineas has been in love with Ferb for... two years now? Ferb was the owner of mine that died." I say gently. He gapes.
"He... he died?" Heinz says. "These boys... they're pure genius!" Heinz says. I smile and kiss Heinz lightly. Heinz grins.
"Phineas, I'm sure your mom wants you at home. Vannie dear, I know Charlene wants you home." I say. Vanessa uses her remote to the pick-em-up-inator to take her and Phin home. I turn to Heinz. Doofus looks me in the eye and smiles lightly.
"You... are having my daughter Perry." I say. I smile back at him.
"I am a human male, and I am pregnant with a little girl. A year or so ago... how would you feel about this." I say. Heinz laughs.
"I would be revolted! I would say, 'Perry the Platypus! You are having my daughter? Eww... eww... that is so gross... I don't want it!' heh. I love you now of course and... Perry are you crying? What's wrong?" All the sudden my stomach begins to hurt really bad. Heinz drops to my side.
"Shit! Perry! Are you okay, is it the baby? God hold on... I-I'll go get someone!" He yells. I lay on the floor writhing in pain. I scream. A few doctors load me on stretcher.
"A-Ah! It hurts! I want Heinz... where is HEINZ!" I scream. The doctors bring me into a room and stick an IV in me. I groan.
"Wh-Where's Heinz..." I say lightly. The doctors glance at me.
"Heinz Doofenshmirtz isn't here right now. We had to keep him out. The blood could trigger another heart attack." I sob.
"Call Phineas... and Ferb. Contact Heinz's daughter too." I moan in pain.
"Alright... I can do that. Ferb will be in in a second. Please inject his with the knockout solution so we can continue with his surgery." I widen my eyes. Surgery. I cry in tears.
"Is it my baby! My baby! DON'T DO ANYTHING TO MY BABY!" I scream. I wake up briefly.
"H-Heinz..." I murmur. The doctors smile.
"Heinz is outside. He should be in in a moment. Congratulations." I moan in pain.
"Congratulations in what..." I mutter.
"You're a father now. Your daughter is beautiful. A wonderful hair color you have there. It seems a drug was in your system that caused her to develop prematurely." The doctor explains. I nod. I try to sit up but end up falling down again. I'm a father... a true father. Her name will be... Henrietta Flynn Doofenshmirtz. That is decided. Now... now to wait for Heinz. I want to see Henrietta.
"Is she okay? I-Is she alive? Let me..." I manage to croak out before I lose consciousness.