Chapter 3

Bella

I deeply inhaled the fresh, humid air. The smell of misty damp grass filled my senses. I watched the sun rise across the sky, bouncing off the dark shadows of the trees and houses in the street.

I forgot how much I loved the feeling of sharp, crispy air, covering my skin like a blanket.

I smiled to myself; I was used to waking up to the sun shining, the heat burning my skin each morning. I forgot how different it was here. There were dry lands everywhere in Phoenix; red dusty deserts covered the grounds. While here in Forks, there was nothing but green grass and grey skies. There were thousands of trees and woodland creatures, who would even make homes in your back garden. The whole place screamed nature. It was beautiful, it was my home.

"Morning, Bells," my father greeted me.

"Morning, dad," I answered and leaned against the side of the porch.

"Does Mr Brown still visit you?" I asked, watching the town wake up.

Mr Brown was a squirrel that lived in the forest behind my dad's house for years. He was a little baby when he first turned up. My dad would leave some nuts in the garden for him every day, and I would wake up every morning to see his fuzzy tail on our porch. I named him Mr. Brown because of the colour of his fur, when I was fifteen.

My father chuckled and joined me on the porch.

"He stopped visiting a few years ago, Bells," He answered, sadly.

The air grew very cold, so I wrapped my arms around my waist and headed back inside. I was definitely going shopping for warmer clothes today; vest and shorts were not going to work in Forks.

"What are your plans for today?" He asked, following me to the kitchen.

"Where do I start?" I sighed. I made a quick list in my head of all the things I needed to do. My father chuckled, his moustache twitching in amusement.

My father, Charlie Swan, had lived in Forks his whole life. He met my mom in high school and married her the day after graduation. My grandfather had bought them this house as a wedding present, and I was born a year later. Charlie had said it was the best day of his life. I didn't really understand what he meant, at the time, until Leah was born. The day Leah was born was amazing, but it was overshadowed by the death of her father.

After Jake died, I gained a new level of respect and understanding of what my father had gone through, raising me on his own.

"I have to go shopping for warmer clothes, my furniture is getting delivered this afternoon, and I wanted to go into work and see what the studio is like." I rumbled in contentment.

"What time do you have work?" I asked him.

"In an hour, but I'm only working until two. I was thinking that maybe I could take Leah to see Billy. He's been really excited that you've returned home." His voice asked quietly.

I was uncomfortable going down to La Push; it was Jacob's hometown. Everything reminded me of him, and I was not ready to deal with that yet. I had spent all my childhood in La Push with Emmett and Jake, riding our bikes along the beach or jumping off the cliffs. It was too hard to go there right now. I knew I will have to go down eventually, as there are so many places I want to take Leah; to tell her stories about her father, and what he like growing up. But right now, I needed to get our new house turned into a home, and get Leah settled in school.

"That would be great dad; Leah would love to see Billy. You can pick her up from the house and check out my new place." My voice hitched with excitement. I had fallen in love with our house already and couldn't wait to get settled into it. I quickly started putting breakfast together when I heard my dad clear his throat.

"Ah, Bells, I have already seen the house," Charlie announced.

"When?" I asked. "I only got the house yesterday, how could you have seen it?"

"Emmett showed it to me just before he bought it. He wanted my option on it." He answered in a matter of a fact tone.

I just nodded my head; I should have guessed that Emmett would have dragged my father into house hunting with him. Charlie and Emmett have always had a close relationship. Emmett and Jacob were like sons to my dad, and it broke his heart when Jacob died. I know he felt horrible when he couldn't get a lot of time off and come to Phoenix to help arrange the funeral; instead he gave Emmett six weeks paid leave and made him promise that he would take care of me and Leah until I could handle everything myself. I lost count of the number of arguments we have had over the years about me moving back home. He was also worried about me trying to raise a baby by myself and still finish college. Even when he met Rose he still wanted me to come home. When Leah was in danger I thought he was going to drag us back home with his bare hands, but he surprised me and told me to do what I felt was right. I knew he wanted us back in Forks, and his excitement last night was enough to show how happy he was to have us home.

I watched as he took a seat at the table and opened the paper right to the sports section, typical guy.

Emmett had mentioned that his partner was my new neighbour, so I knew that my father would know him. With the size of this town I'm sure he has met Anthony before, and I wonder if he had mentioned Leah around him.

I mixed the ingredients together to make pancakes.

"Dad?" I asked and poured the mixture in to a pan.

"Mmm," he grunted.

"Emmett mentioned that his partner is my new neighbour." I commented.

"Oh yeah, Edward, he's a good kid." He mumbled.

"Have you met his son?" I asked flipping the pancake over.

"Anthony, yeah, cute kid. Very polite and well behaved little boy. Well, except when he's around Emmett, but I think that's more Emmett than Anthony." He chuckled. It would be good if he made friends with Leah, the kid doesn't have many friends and neither does Leah.

I put the pancakes and some juice on the table.

"Yeah, well Leah was really taken with him yesterday." I answered.

Charlie looked up at me from the paper, his hazel eyes shining with hope. I was just about to mention about Anthony knowing Leah's name when I heard little thumps on the stairs.

We spent the rest of breakfast in mostly silence. I never mentioned Anthony again. Emmett arrived just as I was finishing the dishes informing me that he was spending the day with us getting settled in our new house.

I decided to go shopping first, before we froze to death. I was not a big fan of shopping, especially when Rosalie would drag me into every shop in the mall, buying every dress, pair of shoes, and coats she could see. I was more of a jeans and t shirt kind of girl, but Leah was a girlie girl and loved nothing more than pink dresses and cute tops; I don't know where she gets it from as none on my side are very girlie and neither were Jake's. I was going to have to buy a lot of warm tights for her to wear with her dresses here in forks.

We pulled into the shopping mall that I used to work in as a teenager. God, I hated this place. I worked there on the weekends to get money to pay for college, and everyone from school would hang out there spending all their parents' money. I was thankful those days were behind me.

I looked back at Leah sitting in her car seat; her face was almost blank as she stared out of the window, a small smile on her face. My heart swelled with happiness with that smile she gave me. She has smiled more over the last day than she has for the last six months. I couldn't help but smile along with her.

"Hey, Leah?" I asked.

She turned her head making her thick hair sway around her face, the sparkle that was there yesterday at our house was gone, but I hoped that it would return soon. The fact that it appeared at all gave me more hope than ever that my little girl would get better, and that she would find peace here in forks

"Do you want to go and get lots of new clothes for your wardrobe in our new house?" I asked. I could see Emmett silently watching Leah's reaction through the rear view mirror.

She nodded her head and the smile grew just a little wider, most people would never have noticed, but I noticed every little move she made now, it was all I had.

"Let's go then." I announced.

I got out of the car quickly and moved to open the passenger's door for Leah.

Emmett stood at the driver's side of the door and looked at me raising a dark furry eyebrow.

"What?" I asked.

"Since when did you get excited about shopping?" He chuckled and added, "Well unless it's in a bookstore."

"Did you notice that smile on my daughter's face?" And just like that, Emmett understood my enthusiasm.

I opened the door for Leah to jump out and we made our way over to the mall. Leah was in the middle holding tightly to both our hands.

We had been shopping for almost an hour; Leah walked slowly around the shop with her hand in either mine or Emmett's. She pointed out to almost every item she could see. We managed to get her: four pairs of boots, a couple pairs of small scandals, some flat ballerina pumps, four dresses, two pairs of trouser, five pairs of jeans, about ten cute tops, t-shirts, as well as cardigans, underwear, tights, and rain coat. We would get a winter coat later on.

"Okay ladies, I'm going to run to the car with all this stuff, before my arms fall off." He pushed the bags in front of our faces to emphasize his point; there were a lot of bags that he carried for us, I didn't noticed how much I had bought.

I giggled as I watched him walk out of the store with lots of pink and purple girlie bags attached to his ever growing muscles. I swear he could give Arnold Schwarzenegger a run for his money.

I was very grateful that Emmett had managed to get the house as cheap as he did. I was almost broke and I hadn't even bought myself anything yet.

I grabbed Leah's hand a little tighter and walked into a store that I had never seen before. It was bright and colourful with clothes all in organized groups of colour. I looked at the wall; "Beauté" was the name of the store. It was written across the wall in huge deep purple blocked letters. The store was beautiful and the title fit the style of clothes in it. My first thoughts were to leave, not only was I sure that the prices would be out of my price range but, the clothes would never fit a women like me. I was plain and plain wore plain everyday clothes; there was nothing special about me or the things I wore. I was your plain boring girl next door, and these clothes were made for women who were tall and beautiful. I was neither of these things.

"Hello, can I help you?" A voice that sounded like bells asked me. I turned to the women that the voice belonged too, a small gasp escaped my mouth.

"Ah," I tried to tell her that none of these clothes would fit me, but my voice wouldn't work and instead I stood there staring at the gorgeous women in front of me. She belonged in a store like this; her short spiked black hair framed her beautiful face, with deep blue eyes and a pixie like appearance. I felt plainer than I already did.

"I'm Alice. Welcome to Beauté."

"I'm Bella." I croaked out.

"Nice to meet you, Bella." She looked down at Leah, a wide smiled appeared on her face.

"This is my daughter, Leah." I answered her unspoken question.

She bent down and whispered softly, "You are the most beautiful little girl I have ever seen."

Leah just cocked her head to side and looked at her.

Alice just giggled and stood up. She looked at me intensely; I felt my body grow more uncomfortable, so I moved my foot from side to side getting ready to run.

"I have the prefect outfit for you, just wait here and I'll go get it?" She suddenly burst out. I didn't get a chance to reply before her little body danced away into the back of the store.

I started gently looking at some of the clothes on the hangers, checking the price tags, conforming that I was right about the price, when I heard my name shouted within store.

"Bella," A deep rusty voice called.

I turned around to face a very tall, slender male standing in front of me. His skin glowed a tanned colour, and he had dark short hair and deep brown eyes.

I was instantly reminded of Jake.

"On my god, Bella, how are you?" he asked.

He must have seen the confusion on my face as he laughed at me, and then said two words that I had long forgotten.

"Belly Bella," He chuckled. "Man, I had such a crush on you growing up."

There was only one person that ever called me that growing up, and I felt my heart warm at my childhood friend, as well as my face.

"Seth?" I blushed.

"Yep, that's me. I heard you were moving back home. How are things?"

"Good, just got home and we're getting some warmer clothes now that we don't have the sun every day." I mumbled into his chest as he pulled me into a hug.

I felt Leah's hand tighten around mine. I looked down at her and saw the fear in her eyes. Seth must have followed my eyes.

"This little cutie must be Leah?" he asked. I was just about to introduce him, when he crouched down on his knees in front of her.

"Yeah, this is Leah, but Seth she really…" Seth ignored me and spoke in calm deep voice.

"Hello sweetheart, I'm Seth, a friend of your mom and dad's" he raised his hand to move her hair that had fallen in front of her eyes.

"Seth, please, don't..."

It was like I was watching a movie where everything happened in slow motion, and you know that the main character will never stop what was about to happen in time. I could see what was happening and I knew how Leah was going to react, but I was to slow to stop him, and the next thing I heard was the loud piercing scream that escaped my daughter's mouth.

Seth jump backwards so fast that he lost his balance and fell onto the floor, his mouth hung in an O-shape, and his eyes went wide with shock.

I quickly kneeled down in front of Leah, put my hands on her face, and forced her to look at me.

"Leah, Leah, look at me. Its mom, honey, look at me." I kept whispering words to her, repeating them over and over.

Her eyes were far away, she was lost in her own mind, trapped in her memories. I knew that she could not see me. She could only see him right now; she was trapped with him, scared and alone. Tears were pouring down her small face and my heart broke at the pain my daughter was in.

"Leah, please, it's me, your safe honey, please listen to me." I begged.

By now the whole store was staring at us, watching in disgust as my daughter continued to stand and scream for her life.

I tried to ignore them, but I could hear them whispering in the background.

"Leah, please, come back to me honey."

"Bella?" Alice's soft voice echoed in my ear. I looked at her, expecting to see disgust and pity in her eyes. But they were only full of concern and worry.

"Bella, is she okay? Do you want to take her into the back?"

I didn't answer her; I just nodded my head and continued to talk to Leah. Leah's body was shaking with fear, I needed to get her out of here, but I knew that I could not move her until she could hear me.

"Bella, Bella" I heard Emmett shouting as his body pushed through the growing crowd.

"What happened? Is she okay?" His chest was heavy and his breaths came out in pants. He must have run across the store when he heard Leah's screams.

"Leah, honey, you're safe. Mom's here."

"Leah, I've got you baby. Uncle Em has got you, you're safe." His voice was strong and clear, but too loud.

I looked at Emmett and then back at Leah again, she slowly closed her eyes, and I felt a breath of air leave my mouth in relief. She was still lost in her mind, but she was slowly returning to us. She could hear us, which meant I could get her out of the store.

"Leah, its Mom. You're safe, honey." I tried a little louder and slowly placed my hand gently on her shoulder.

I watched as her little body kept shaking, but the screaming had stopped. She still had her eyes closed, and I hoped she didn't open them again until we got back in the car. The number of people staring at us would scare her even more.

"Leah, can you hear me, honey?"

She nodded her head slowly, tears still falling down her face while sobs broke out of her mouth.

"Bells, why don't you take her back to the car, and I'll deal with the situation here."

I slowly picked her up and she wrapped her arms and legs around me, resting her head into my neck, and squeezing me tightly. I turned around to Seth who was still on the floor.

"Sorry Seth," I whispered and quickly walked away pushing my way through the crowds.

"Shh, you're okay now." I whispered into her ear. I could hear Emmett yelling at the crowd in the background. I knew they had pissed him off, they pissed me off too, but there was not much I could do about them.

I made it back to the car and opened the passenger door in the back, placing Leah on my lap and started rocking her back and forth, while whispering how much I loved her into her ear. I listened while her sobs grew quieter, and soon I knew she had fallen asleep. So I moved her into her car seat and got out of the back seat just in time for Emmett to return.

"Hey honey, you okay?" His voice was soft and gentle. I didn't realise I had been crying until he was wiping the tears away with his thumb.

I looked up into his eyes and felt all my hope disappear.

I started to sob. My adrenaline gone and heart aching.

Emmett wrapped his long arms around me and pulled me to his chest.

"Shh, honey, she's safe. She's okay." He whispered.

"I I I knooow, buuttt she was getting bettttterrrr, Emmm." I stuttered through my tears.

"She will be honey, but she is still going to have bad days and from what Seth said, Leah got scared of him when he touched her."

"Oh God, Seth." I gasped. He must think I'm such a bad mother.

"It's alright, I explained a little to him." He kissed my head and signed, "Come on, let's go."

We got into the car and reminded quiet as we drove out of the car park.

"When is your appointment with Dr. Stanley?" He asked.

"Not until Monday."

Dr. Stanley was the new therapist that I was taking Leah to meet. She had agreed to also take me on as a joint patient, as well as separate patient.

My thoughts drifted into different scenarios of what could happen if Dr. Stanley couldn't help us. What if Leah doesn't get any better? What if she lives in fear for the rest of her life? She starts school soon, will she able to sit in a classroom without having a panic attack? What if her teacher is a male? How would she cope? I had visions of my broken daughter sitting in a corner shaken and crying in fear of her teacher. Maybe she was not ready yet, maybe I should let her start next year.

"Bells?" Emmett's voice brought me out of my mental breakdown.

"I think I should talk to Dr. Cullen. Maybe he could help?" His voice was low and thick with heavy emotion. I knew this was hurting him as well. He loved Leah more than anything, and I also knew how guilty he felt for not being able to help us when we needed it.

"I don't know what he would be able to do, Em."

"We could at least ask. You still have a week until you see Dr. Stanley, and I think you may need something to help you sleep." He sighed deeply. "I don't know, but I need to do something."

"Can we talk about this later please?" I needed to clear my head before I made any decisions.

"Sure," was all he replied.

We went to McDonald's to grab lunch before making our way to the house. Leah woke up groggy and withdrawn. She refused to eat and sat in her car seat staring at the roof of the car.

When we made it to the house, she got out of the car and walked slowly to the door.

I watched her drag her body through the hall into the living room. There was no life or emotion in her body; her eyes were empty, with a frown on her face. I tried to control my emotions and not show how much watching her like this was killing me. I had gotten my hopes up when we landed in forks yesterday, and now she had crawled back into the shell she had built around herself when we were back in Phoenix.

"Bells, delivery is here." Emmett shouted from outside.

"Just a minute."

"Leah, I'm gonna go and help uncle Em bring in our stuff, do you want to come?" I asked her. I gave her a few minutes, but she never looked at me, so I left her staring out of the window to go and help Emmett with the furniture.

It took us forever to unload the van and carry everything into the right rooms. I made sure to put Leah's stuff in her room first so that she could have her toys to play with while we finished moving everything.

"Hey, Bells?"

I looked up from the boxes I was unloading to see my dad standing at the kitchen door.

"Hey, Dad. You're here for Leah?" I asked already knowing the answer. "She's in her room."

My dad chuckled, "And what room is that?"

"Oh right," I ran a hand over my forehead to wipe the sweat that formed from all the unpacking.

"I'll get her." I walked out of the living room pulling my long hair into a high ponytail to keep out of my face.

"Leah, Granddad's here." I called stepping over the boxes that lay about.

"Leah, honey?"

I looked in her room, but found it empty. The boxes still where I had left them unopened. Maybe she was helping Emmett.

"Em?" I yelled walking out of one room into another.

"Yeah?"

"Leah with you?" I couldn't get into my room. Emmett was building some of the furniture with boxes piled everywhere.

"No, I thought she was in her room?" He yelled back.

I began checking all the rooms, moving bags and boxes everywhere calling out for her. Where could she have gone? The house was not that big.

"Did you get her?" My dad asked coming out of the spare room.

"No. I've checked all over the house." I could feel the panic in my heart.

"Have you checked the kitchen?" He asked.

"Outside, maybe she went to see if Anthony was out?" I ran through the hall, passed the living room, into the kitchen and out to the back garden as fast as I could.

"Leah, Leah!" I yelled.

She was not there.

I raced to the fence and looked over at Anthony's play ship, but there was no one there either.

"Is she there?" Emmett yelled out of the window.

I shook my head, as I couldn't find my voice. My little girl was gone.

Tears stared falling from my eyes as I searched around the garden for her.

"Okay, we'll find her. She's here somewhere." Emmett shut the window, and I assumed starting looking around the house.

I ran out into the front of the house hoping she was out there, but I could not see her anywhere.

"Leah. Leah." I yelled as loud as I could.

"!"