February 14, 1907

"Aunt Rebecca?" I allow the door to bang loudly against the wall as I burst into the parlor.

"Cal? What are you doing here?" She rises from her chair at the far side of the room, her dark gray eyes wide with concern. "Is something wrong?"

My head bows, though I'm sure she's already seen the smile I'm trying to hide. "I've decided to marry Helen."

Aunt Rebecca gasps, clapping a hand to her mouth, but her eyes are smiling as they meet mine. She suddenly throws her arms around me. "Oh, Cal! That's wonderful news!" She gently cups my face in her hands. "Wait here; I have something for you."

"I don't think this is a good idea…" a voice jerks me out of my thoughts as I stare after Aunt Rebecca's retreating back. I wheel around to face Sarah standing behind me, her arms crossed, wearing a doubtful expression. "You and Helen, I mean."

All I can do is stare incredulously at her for a few moments. "What makes you say that?"

"I don't know." Sarah shrugs. "Something about her just seems…" her voice trails off as she searches for the right words. "…not right."

No sooner does she speak that Aunt Rebecca reappears holding a small battered red box. "This belonged to your mother…" The box creaks eerily as she lifts the lid, revealing a badly tarnished, though still dazzling diamond ring. "She left this in my possession in case she…" Aunt Rebecca turns away, though I can still see her dabbing at her eyes with her handkerchief.

As she hands me the open box, a small scrap of paper, neatly folded and discolored with age, flies out. I pick it up and read:

My precious Caledon,

I always believed this day would one day come, the day my baby would find love and start a new life. Please give this to the lucky young lady in the hope that she's everything I ever wished for you. I'm so sorry I couldn't be there to share your special day, but please know that I am so proud of the man you've become. I know you will treat her well, and remember, love is stronger than anger.

Forever your loving mother,

Mae McGrady-Hockley

The ink blurs on the page, but her words have been burned into my memory. She knew; my mother knew all along that she was going to die by my father's hand. I have to press a hand to my eyes. I force myself to look down as I feel a tight squeeze on my arm… Sarah. As I look at her, I can't help but notice how much thinner and paler she's become, her loose stringy black hair blending awkwardly with my coat and her dress, her once youthful round face now sunken and lined as if she's aged ten years in less than three… I never realized just how much her father's death had ravaged her beauty.

Only her dark gray eyes still seem alive as they meet mine. "I'm sorry," she whispers. I stare at her, thinking she's apologizing for her comments about Helen, until she adds, "About Aunt Mae." Sarah sighs, resting her head against my shoulder. "It's so strange. I barely remember her but…" Her voice falters, but she tries again. "I never imagined how hard it must be, but now I know…"

I pull her tighter to me as a sudden overwhelming sadness crashes over me. My cheek rests against her hair, my eyes squeezed tightly shut against the tears threatening. I want to thank her, comfort her, but I know better than to try to speak… I'm sure I'd burst into sobs if I did, so I kiss the top of her head instead.

A sharp knock at the door startles me, and excited voices rise from the foyer. The butler appears almost instantaneously in the doorway. "Mr. Hockley, Miss Chandler is here to see you." I peer past him to Helen's smiling face, and she waves coyly back at me.

"Good luck," Aunt Rebecca whispers in my ear, giving me a small smile as she brushes past me. Sarah lingers in the parlor doorway, eyeing Helen with barely veiled suspicion until Aunt Rebecca grabs her arm, gently ushering her out of the room. Now I'm alone with Helen…

I have to take several deep breaths, trying vainly to summon the courage to ask her to be my wife. I can already feel my heart hammering at the very thought. "Helen, I…" I'm shocked and appalled by how weak and small my voice sounds.

Helen gasps as I kneel before her, though I can see sadness reflected in her eyes. I open the box, but before I can speak, she bends so that her eyes are level with mine. She takes my hand in both of her own, gently urging me back to my feet. "Cal, I can't marry you. Not like this…"

My heart stops dead. I can't believe she's actually turning me down; I thought she loved me! I have to bow my head, though I'm sure she's already seen the emotion in my eyes. "Don't you…" The words catch in my throat as I force myself to go on, "love me?"

Her brilliant blue eyes are suddenly glistening with tears as she nods. "More than you could possibly imagine." Her dainty hand caresses my cheek. "It's just…" She sniffles, wiping her eyes with her gloved hand. "If I marry you now, we'll have nothing, no money, no home. We'd be miserable, I know!" Helen triers to turn away, but I stand between her and the door. Her voice becomes overtaken with sobs as she continues, "A-after your father started his own company, we n-nearly lost everything! My mother and father ch-changed. They'd y-yell and call each other names; m-more than once I h-hear my father…" Her voice trails off, but I already know what she was going to say.

I gape at her dumbly; I had no idea! A sudden pang of remorse stabs my heart as I pull Helen into my embrace; several moments pass before I trust myself to speak. "Helen…" Her sobs die, but tears are still flowing freely from her eyes, running over my hand as I gently cup her face. "Helen, I promise that will never happen to us. Love is stronger than anger…"

"That may be true," Helen concedes, "but it doesn't pay the bills." She sighs dejectedly. "Financial ruin tears families apart and makes even the most ardent lovers turn on each other; I saw it for myself." Her wet eyes are burning with determination as they gaze into mine. "Cal, I promise I will marry you, but only after you've found a job and a home for us."

I reluctantly nod. I don't want to wait – I've already waited almost four years for her – but I know if I don't agree, I may lose her forever. Helen kisses my lips before turning away, and I gaze longingly after her as she goes.

"Well, how did it go?" I'm still staring aimlessly out the window into the night when Aunt Rebecca's voice jerks me out of my thoughts. My hand absentmindedly clutches the box still containing my mother's engagement ring as I turn to see her expectant smile. I don't have the heart to tell her what happened.

Sarah appears at her mother's side, her eyes darting from my face to the box in my hand and back. "She declined, didn't she?" Understanding dawns on Sarah's face as I briefly allow my eyes to meet hers. I don't have to answer; she already knows. "I knew it! That little –"

"Sarah!" Aunt Rebecca cuts her off sharply, shooting her a warning look. I once again turn back to the window, my eyes fixed on some random invisible point in the night, though I can still feel the two pairs of dark gray eyes on me. "I'm so sorry, Cal," Aunt Rebecca whispers, but I don't look at her. I feel her hand resting atop mine; I yank it back.

"She…" I inwardly curse myself as my voice trails off weakly. I have to swallow hard before I can go on. "She said she wouldn't marry me unless I could give her a home…"

I force myself to look back at Aunt Rebecca; her eyes are suddenly dead serious. "Well, I don't think that's too much to ask. She's very smart."

"Or very selfish," Sarah adds darkly. Her eyes flash cold disdainful fire; I almost smile as I recall seeing her give that same look to Raoul at my graduation party. Aunt Rebecca glares at her, her eyes sparling a silent reprimand, but Sarah doesn't seem to notice or care. "She seems like a real gold-digger to me."

"Maybe Ben could help you," Aunt Rebecca suggests. "His father always speaks very highly of you; perhaps he'd offer you a job."

I shake my head doubtfully. "Word would certainly get back to my father."

Aunt Rebecca's face falls. "I suppose I didn't think of that."

Sarah scoffs, and all eyes turn to her. "If you ask me, Uncle Nathan's being an idiot, keeping you apart because of some petty slight like that." She turn to me. "What exactly did the Chandlers do to him anyway?" I shrug.

Aunt Rebecca's eyes change. I half-expect her to scold Sarah again, but she just laughs. "My sentiments exactly, Sarah." She gasps as if a sudden inspiration has hit her. I know! You'll come to work for your uncle's company. Frank would've been proud to have you…"

"Aunt Rebecca…" I have to pause to find the right words. "I appreciate the offer…" More than you will ever know, my mind adds. "But it's still too close to my father."

I try to imagine myself as a carpenter or factory worker. The idea seems like a joke, and I can't help but chuckle under my breath. I'm a businessman, not some menial laborer. That's all I've ever known, all I've ever been groomed for. "What am I going to do?" I wonder out loud, though I hardly expect anyone to answer.

"What about that English teacher you had?" Sarah finally breaks the awkward silence that follows.

"P-professor Reynaldi?" I stammer incredulously, gaping blankly at her.

She nods. "Maybe he could help."

True, I have been writing to Reynaldi in secret since he left Harvard, but I can't ask him for help. Guilt wrings my heart as I remember what happened the last time I involved him in my personal affairs. He lost his job because of me; I can't let that happen again. Besides, he told me in his last letter he'd just accepted a position at Stanford University. He'll be far too busy with his own new job to take time to help me find one. My head bows. "I can't…"

"What other option do you have?" The harshness of Sarah's tone makes me jump slightly. Her eyes light up as I turn to look at her, and she gives me a small smile… the first since her father's death. I realize she's right… California is probably the only place in this country far enough away from my father that he'd never find us, and more importantly, Reynaldi is the only person in my life he was never able to leverage. I sigh; it know it's a longshot, but I have to try.