We arrive at D.E.I minutes after the song ends.
"Perry, stay here, I'm going to see what Dad's doing." She says lightly. She opens the door and gasps, screaming. I jump out, landing in fighting stance. I drop my hands looking in awe at the man with a gun pressed to the roof of his mouth. He drops the gun, laughing nervously.
"Daddy!" Vanessa yells, running to her father. I look at the 2 bullets in the gun and swap it quickly for a fake gun that was made for O.W.C.A fake deaths. I press the gun to my platypus head and cock it. They both spin around and Heinz lunges for the gun as I shoot it. I land with a dull thud of the floor, trying to suppress my breathing.
"... Perry?" Vanessa says, voice filled with sadness. Heinz drops on his knees.
"Perry the Platypus... NO! YOU CANT DIE!" He screams. I feel tears on my fur and I flutter open my eyes, wiping the fake guts off of my head and staring at Heinz. He looks at me, wiping his eyes.
"Perry?" He says softly, looking at me before drawing me into a hug. I hug back gently. I notice a sting and realize that I grew. I look down and notice Vanessa gaping and Heinz grinning. I-I'm human. I stand up shakily, looking around and notice I was shot with the Ballgown-Inator. I'm wearing a black mini dress, net leggings, and black combat boots similar to Vanessa's. I glared at Heinz and all of the sudden I felt a spark, he looked at me, wincing and I noticed my hands were crackling. I put my arms down and he started crying. I sat down next to him and looked at the charred red mark on his arm.
"W-What was that Heinz?" I ask, glancing guiltily at the scar, looking up at Heinz.
"I added... I added angel DNA." He says, catching his breath. I widen my eyes. Angel DNA? I placed my hand on the scar and I thought of it healing up. I saw my thoughts happen before my eyes as the large scar healed up. I backed away from Heinz, thinking of long white wings. I felt a pain and looked up to see long feathery cherub wings. Heinz's eyes widened and Vanessa gasped. I fluttered my wings as I would use my tail and I felt my feet lift off the ground. I giggled and retracted the white beauties, sitting next to Heinz. I placed a featherlight kiss on his cheek.
"Heinz... what's happening?" I whisper, noticing Heinz was glowing a bright pink. Literally. Heinz looked to me and he turned handsome. That -inator kind of handsome. He widened his eyes.
"I'm handsome!" He said happily. I looked at him, and he stared back. I looked over to Vanessa and imagined her having black hair to test my theory. I smiled amazed as her hair changed. She grinned.
"Thanks Perry!" She said happily, running off. I looked at the dreamy Heinz and saw him drooling over me, well, not literally DROOLING but... you know.
"Heinz..." I say as he looks me over. I snap my fingers and Phineas appears. Heinz gasps.
"D-Dad?" Heinz pulls Phin into a hug and Phineas sobs into his labcoat. I curtsy, walking out onto the balcony and flying off.
She's a pretty woman, angelic and filled with action! She's a fancy little female who'll never flinch from a fray! She's got more than just mad skills! She's got a mini dress and high heels! And the Men swoon whenever they hear her say.
"Hey."
"Ahh!" She's Perry, Perry the human girl! Perry! Perry the Human Girl! AGENT P!
I land in Phineas and Ferb's backyard, fluttering my wings, and blink at the children. Ferb smiles and hugs me.
"Perry." He says lightly. I nod and the others all hug me. Buford looks at me and shakes his head.
"I don't believe in flyin' creatures." He says defiantly. I pick him up and beat my wings, flying him onto the roof. He smiles.
"Okay, I believe, GET ME DOWN THERE!" He screams in terror.
"WOOHOO!" He shouts happily as I do a 360 midair and place him on the ground. Baljeet smiles and Buford shoves him to me. I lift him slightly and place him down. I grab Isabella and fly her to DEI.
"Dad! Quit!" I hear Phineas shout. I land on the roof, placing the young girl down. I see her watch the boys play and she smiles.
"Its nice that he finally got to meet his dad, huh." I nod at her words, motioning her to stay where she was and walking, well flying, in.
"Phineas... do you have any crushes?" I ask, floating. He nods, blushing.
"Ferb..." He whispers. I nod, kissing his forehead and snapping my fingers so Ferb would appear. I then flew back up to the crying Isabella and summoned Thaddeus. They immediately hit it off, talking, as I poofed them to Isabella's. I looked down and saw Heinz yelling. I flew in.
"You're in love with your STEP BROTHER!" He yells. I scowl and kiss Heinz on his cheek.
"You're being civil with your nemesis. Like you have room to talk." I say lightly. He melts at my touch and sighs.
"Perry's right, run along boys." He says, stroking my hair. They nod, running happily away. I blush. He falls asleep crying that night, I have no idea when, or why, he started screaming.
"Schlag mich nicht! Vater... keine! Hör auf!" He screamed, thrashing out and hitting me. There were tears falling down his cheeks as he whimpered. I petted him, refraining from waking the terrored man.
"Papa! Hör auf! Das tut weh! Ich bin dein Sohn! Hör auf!" He sobbed, burying his face into me and laying still, sobbing. I shook him as he blinked, realizing where he was. I shushed him as he screamed in tears at me. He trembled as his body wracked in sobs. I shushed him and rubbed his head and he blinked up at me, whimpering. I pulled him in for a hug and wiped his tears. He smiled in sadness. Wait... I'm a female... so... can I have kids? I kissed his forehead, walking him to bed. Once Heinz was asleep I snuck out, knocking on Vanessa's door.
"Dad! I'm busy!" I heard. I sighed.
"Vanessa." I said lightly. She opened the door, yanking me in and relocking it. I saw Monty asleep on her bed and smiled. I shushed her as I sat next to him.
"Monty~" I sang. He blinked and I unveiled my wings. He covered his mouth, screaming. I giggled, retracting my wings and willing him with my mind to sleep. He passed out and I looked to Vanessa.
"If I am a woman... can I have kids?" I ask slowly. She smiles.
"If you find blood in your underwear let me know, because that's a yes." I nod, yawning. I smile, petting Monty and motioning Vanessa to sleep. She nodded gratefully and I walked out, locking the door on the way out. I walked into Heinz's room, laying down and burying my face into his chiseled chest. I fell asleep, snuggling Heinz and he sighed in appreciation, pulling me closer in his sleep. I awoke to a warmth in my side that I was not used to. I saw the boy nuzzling me and I shook him slightly. He blinked his eyes and smiled.
"Perry?" He said, yawning sleepily. I nodded, grinning. We heard heels clacking in the other room.
"Heinz!" I heard a female voice screech. His breath caught.
"Y-Yes Charlene?" He said warily, walking out. I followed, grasping his hand. I smiled. She pointed to the Human-Inator and another -inator.
"What are THOSE!" She yelled.
"The Human-Inator and the Steal-Inator." I scowled at him, flipping midair and destroying the Steal-Inator.
AGENT P~
"Van-Vanessa!" She yelled. I smiled, extending my hand.
"Agent Perry." I said lightly. She shook my hand as Vanessa walked out.
"Heh-eh heh..." She said as Monty walked out with lipstick stains all over his cheeks.
"Monty Monogram!" I yelled. He straightened, saluting.
"Yes sir!" He yelled. I scoffed.
"GET HOME TO YOUR FATHER!" I yelled.
"Sir yes sir!" He said, jetpacking away. Charlene gaped at Vanessa's hair.
"VANESSA DOOFENSHMIRTZ! YOU are NEVER coming back here! EVER! Let's go." Heinz's jaw dropped as he glared at his ex wife.
"That's my DAUGHTER Charlene!" He growled with more anger than I have ever heard. Charlene shrugged, shoving Vanessa out. Heinz grabbed Charlene's hair before she could exit the room.
"Charlene Tyo Doofenshmirtz... you are NOT taking my daughter." He hissed. His voice even scared me and I knew he was pissed. He looked at the Asian looking woman who was rolling her eyes.
"Yes. I am taking your daughter." She says gently. I look at her.
"Charlene honey, you're not taking Vanessa." I say as kind as I can. She growls.
"What are you going to do about it, whore?" She says, cracking her knuckles. I chuckle, taking off my boots and shaking my head.
"A lot." I state. She lunges at me and I dodge with ease, socking her in the back of the head. She winces, staring at me.
"It's on." She says, taking off her glasses. She runs at me and I grab her arm, unleashing my wings and spinning her, throwing her down on a convenient throw pillow. Heinz's eyes startle me as he pushes me back, walking up to the woman.
"I have lost... 4 children. You know that better than anyone. Do I want to lose another? No. SO DON'T TAKE HER AWAY FROM ME!" She shakes her hair out of her face.
"It was your fault the babies died. YOURS! So I will take MY child and leave you and your SLUT alone." She says, stomping out. I glance at Heinz.
"The babies?" I questioned quietly.
"... I never told you how we divorced, did I?" He says. I motion for him to continue, sitting next to him on the floor.
"On a vacation to Gimmelshtump we were happy, Charlene was pregnant for the second time in her life and little Vanessa was three years old, staying with Linda for the time being with her little brother Phineas. We were expecting two babies, both boys and I couldn't be happier. My father welcomed me inside with... not so welcoming arms, but they positively loved Charlene. At the time my neighbor Kenny, you know him from the backstories, had just gotten back from Spain. He came over to converse and saw Charlene. He... he asked me about her and we talked for hours. Then... then the next day I heard her scream. I ran outside, hiding behind the shed. He told her... I told him it was okay... and he st-stabbed her in the stomach. He ripped through and she p-passed out... c-crying on the lawn. That was the first time I killed a man. Ma and Vater rushed out and... and Vater stabbed me in the stomach so I felt her pain. I was fine, so was she but... needless to say the babies didn't m-make it..." He cried.
"Oh Heinz..." I soothed, rubbing the crying man's back calmly as he cried. I shushed him and he hiccupped. I looked at him, eyes asking him to sit up as I ran in the bathroom. I had noticed something red running down my thigh. I looked and surely enough it was blood. But... Vanessa had left! I grabbed Heinz's oddly convenient phone and scrolled down to Vanessa. I began typing.
'Found blood, what do I do -Perry' I waited, sitting down on the toilet with the seat up and I got a response.
'Put a pad in ur underwear, under the sink. Take the plastic off and stick it in. Change every few hours. It will end in a week. NO SEX! I got to go tho so don't text, moms in a rampage ~DarkGodess' I smiled, doing as she instructed and running back out to Heinz.
"I'm a woman Heinz." I say. He nods.
"Obviously." He says, voice hoarse. I smiled wrapping my arms around him and kissing him softly.
"I can have... KIDS!" I yell happily. He sighs in disappointment. He shakes his head in the negative motion.
"I have lost... 2 kids. Vanessa and Phineas aren't mine, basically, along with Candace. I don't want to be... to be such a screw up dad. I have 3 children who I never see..." He cries.
"Linda... she would let you see Candy." I say softly. He nods his head no again.
"She won them in court..." He says softly. I growl, pushing my hands through his.
"HEINZ! I will have YOUR kids. I will LOVE your kids. THEY WILL BE YOUR KIDS! YOUR BABIES!" I yell, crying into his shirt. He shushes me.
"Perry... do you really want kids?" He asks. I glare at him.
"Six years Heinz... six years I wanted a litter of my own, pups with a loving mother. I was a labrat platypus working for a fucked up boss. I had no family besides your children and their parents you know... no one liked the little 'suck up' platypus. I had one friend at the agency, you know, Dr. Coconut." I say. He gets this faraway look in his eyes, like he is determined to conquer something.
"Well, I guess... we can try for kids." He says softly. I smile, hugging him. He grins sheepishly.
"Next week." He finishes. I nod happily, kissing him with all of the love and passion in me. He breathes softly into my mouth, threading his fingers through my hair. I relish the taste of muffins and almond brittle in his mouth. I moan at the taste as he flips me over onto the couch, as he bit my lip, leaving the metallic taste of blood lingering in my mouth. He pulled away quickly, panting to catch his breath, as he smiled happily.
"I'd be glad to fuck you anytime now that I have experienced the magic of that tongue." He says seductively, grinning. I felt my face light up and I exposed my wings, lifting myself up.
"I'm going out." I explain, flying out the window to Linda's door. I get there with swollen lips and a scowl. She opens the door and Phineas runs up to me.
"Perry! How's Dad?" He asks. Linda widens her eyes, opening the door wider so I could explain.