**BDS does not belong to me, although I wish it did. This chapter is simply a means to get the plot line moving. I'm completely bored with the typical "following the movie" line of thought so this chapter is to get us moving past that and back to what I consider "fun". Please forgive any errors or issues. Much love!**

Chapter 10

Now that I knew what I was looking for, the news reports were increasingly disturbing. Not because of the destruction or death, but because that police seemed to be on top of things. It was only a matter of time until they caught up with my boys and who knew what the result of that meeting would be.

My boys. I wondered if they still were, in fact, mine. This mission that they were on seemed to be pulling them further and further away from me. Even Aileen noticed the lack of their presence and the effect it was having on me. I shrugged it off, saying that they were pulling double shifts at the meat packing plant. I had given up camping on her sofa. My apartment was home. I refused to be chased out of the one place I should feel most safe.

As my few days turned into a week, the ache of loneliness settled into my heart. I hadn't made any effort to contact them, and the silence on their part was deafening.

"I don't know what's going on, Siobhan, but you need to go spend time with Connor and Murphy. You need to cheer up," Aileen scolded, sitting herself next to me at the register counter.

"It's not that simple," I replied.

"It's love. It should always be that simple."

It was like a switch going on, a blinding light of understanding. Love should be simple. Fear was holding me back. It was the fear of losing them. It was fear of what other people would think if they knew I was connected to them. It wasn't fear of what they were doing. They were only doing what no one else would. In another era, they would be called revolutionaries.

I knew my boys. I knew their hearts. Let the chips fall where they may. We were a team and we could deal with anything that was thrown our way if we stuck together. I wanted to be stuck to them.

In a whirlwind, I was out the door, yelling promises to Aileen that I would explain everything later. I caught a cab, McGinty's my destination. The building was locked, but I banged on the door until Doc let me in. He ushered me inside and bolted the door behind me, drawing the shades closed.

"Where are they, Doc?" I asked, following him to the bar.

He put two glasses in front of us, dumped ice into them, and topped them off with a heavy pour of good Irish whiskey. He downed his and poured another, now even acknowledging my question.

"Doc?" I persisted.

He slid an envelope to me and dropped into his seat. I grabbed it and tore it open, the paper inside crumpled and stained. I had to read the words on it twice before they made sense. Even then, it didn't really sink in.

"Rocco's dead?"

He nodded. "And the… the… the… fuck! Ass! The boys said they wouldn't be around anymore."

My worst nightmare was coming true. "Something really bad happened, didn't it?"

I didn't need to wait for his confirmation. I didn't want to believe my boys had anything to do with the massacre the news broadcasted this morning on the television, but if Rocco was dead, then there was no denying it. They wouldn't have let him go into a fight alone. He was as much a part of their family as I was. They would have had his back.

I drank my whiskey in honor of Rocco, and gave Doc a hug goodbye. He swore he didn't know where the boys were, but I had a feeling I knew someone who would.

I entered the police station and was thrust into absolute chaos. I was denied a meeting with Agent Smecker. Instead of giving up, I took a seat on the hard chairs instead and insisted that I would wait.

"Ms. Gray?"

I glanced at the clock. It had taken three hours, but apparently they had gotten the point. "Yes. And you are?"

"Detective Greenly," he replied, shaking my hand and leading me to his desk. He wasn't too young, but his name was apt. I doubt he had seen the scum of the earth in his time as a cop. His eyes were too clear. "How may I help you?"

"As I told the nice lady at the reception desk," I said, voice dripping with more than a bit of annoyance, "I wanted to speak to Agent Smecker. As you are not Agent Smecker, this conversation is a waste of my time." I stood. "When you assholes can get your shit together, maybe then we can get somewhere."

I moved back to the seat I had claimed earlier. I crossed my legs and settled in for another wait. Instead, company joined me. Detective Greenly was going to become a pain in my ass.

"Why do you want to speak with Agent Smecker?"

I rolled my eyes. "Why should I tell you that? It's highly personal."

"I've been working with him closely for the past month." That peaked my interested. "If you want to see him, I can pull the strings, but I need to know why I should bother."

I turned to him and decided to give in, just a little bit. "If you've been working with him, then you know that the Saints of South Boston are missing. If you know that, then you also know that Agent Smecker is smarter than the average cop and probably has figured out why they behind so much blood."

He didn't nod, but I could see the truth on his face. He knew more than he was willing to let me know. "Go on."

"Those Saints mean more to me than life itself, and I want to know where they are."

His voice was soft. "And what are you to them?"

"I'm their fucking girlfriend."

He was obviously shocked. He hurried away to make a phone call and when he came back, he wasn't alone.

"Greenly, go get me a coffee, sweet and low with a twist of lemon, and I want an onion bagel… with cream cheese."

Detective Greenly groaned and offered to get me something. "A cup of coffee with sugar and creamer, please."

We ended up in an office with a door. Agent Smecker closed it and made sure that the blinds were tight. He disconnected the video recorder before sitting down across from me.

He wasn't what I expected. I thought I would be dealing with a fat old cop, but the agent was tall, slender, and obviously flaming gay. He also looked like he had taken a bath in shit of the world.

"So what can I do for you, Ms. Gray?" he asked, offering me a cigarette. I politely declined.

"I want to know where Connor and Murphy are." I liked that he was straight to the point. I didn't want to play political games.

"And you seem to think that I would know?"

I stood and walked to the window. "We both know that you do."

I heard a folder open and papers being shuffled. "You told my detective that you were one of their girlfriends. Which one?"

"Both," I said, crossing my arms. He snorted and I whirled around, ready for a fight. "Don't you dare mock me, Agent Smecker. My personal life is not on display for you to judge, especially since yours is… unconventional as well, wouldn't you say?" I paused, and then asked with mocked sincerity, "How is your boyfriend?"

He leaned back in his chair, sipping on his coffee, studying me. He wasn't offended at my accusation so I knew I hit the nail on the head. I didn't let my gaze waver. I didn't let him see any indecision. He finally inclined his head, and pulled out a business card from his pocket. He jotted an address down on the back, but hesitated to give it to me.

"I have a sense about people, Ms. Gray. Your heart is in the right place, but do you have any idea what you are getting yourself into?"

"Your concern would be touching if I wasn't considering throwing myself across this table to get that card. Those men belong to me. I don't need to know anything else." I reached across the table and plucked the card out of his hand. "I don't know what all you're doing to protect them, Agent Smecker, but let me make you one promise. If anything happens to them, I will hold you personally responsible."