more than you could ever know

by Darkheart226

My leg was yanked out from under me, the man who cut me earlier stood over me. He looked like any other man. But I knew better.I realised who he was from all the pictures. The man all assumed dead just like they dead. Just like they did his father. 'Don't worry little one,' He said 'For our blood I will be merciful.' and that was the last thing I remembered, Before I blacked out.

3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

2 days later

Jace's POV

I should never have let her go.I should have tried harder.I should have trained her better.I should have..I must have been so lost in my thoughts that i mustn't have heard Alec come in through the could I be so stupid? I'm too busy thinking about my own problems that I forgot all about them. Of course they have their own problems, but admittedly they probably aren't as big as mine .Oh what do I know? I've barely paid attention to them for the last few days.A cool voice cut into my thoughts,stopping me in my tracks.

'Jace? Look I'm sorry, but It's not your fault, It's no one's fault.' I look up to find my parabatai standing near the looked like he had just been slapped in the he did I know? I couldn't even look after my own daughter properly!

'Look I know how you feel-'

'Of course you do.' I muttered. How could he possibly know how I feel? I don't even know what I feel to be honest,although one emotion stands out above the .Sadness, anger, they're all there too, but regret is what I feel the most. How could Alec know how I feel? He had never lost a child,not knowing whether they were dead,alive,hurt,tortured to insanity,he doesn't Max goes,he will never know, and even then, that's his adopted child, not his will never know.

'Yes, I do.'It was as though he had read my that or he was actually listening to me. I'm surprised at that. Usually I just dump loads of stuff onto him, not expecting him to listen. Maybe he did listen all those times. If so then why did he accept to be my parabatai? There are far more talented guys out there than me-well I wouldn't go that far actually, It is well known that I am the best shadowhunter of my age, the age,with my extra amounts of angel blood- who won't dump all there feeling on him, or try to murder him in training through anger.I don't deserve like I don't deserve anyone else in this life. I felt exactly how you feel when our brother died.' Max. How could I have forgotten? That little 9 year old who looked up to me in so many ways, brutally murdered by that despicable man.I would get her back.I will bring her matter the price.

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Alec's POV

I watched Jace from the looks hasn't been this bad since, I don't know, 's been staring at Celine's sketchpad for ages through the pages, analysing every detail, shade, every line. I remember when he used to make fun of her art work, but still being there for her when it counted.I can't make out who she's drawn from Jace, Gabi, Max, or Emaelia. What can I do to comfort him? I haven't lost a daughter, I don't even have one. But I don't know what I would do if I lost Max. Max. My lost brother Max. I know that brotherly love isn't the same as the love for your child, but it's the best I've got.

I knock softly on the doesn't even must be too absorbed In his thoughts to think if anyone else exists.

'Jace, look I'm sorry,but it's not your 's no one's fault.'I said. I knew that it probably wasn't a good idea to mention Sebastian unless I wanted to deal with a more than angry Jace in training or one which would mull things over for hours on was just no telling how he would about it now, that might have been a bit harsh, but that's good, That's what he needs.I try again.

'Look, I know how you feel,I-.' he cuts me off. Muttering something like 'Of course you do.' Well at least his lost hasn't affected his fluency in sarcasm, that's a good sign, i suppose.

'Yes, I do. I felt exactly the same way when he died.' No response. Instead he sets the sketchpad down to one side on the bed which he's currently perched upon. I look into his eyes and I'm met with blank gold discs. No emotion. I had expected something. Remorse, sadness, guilt. But then again, my parabatai grew up with Valentine for so long, believing that to love is to destroy, to never show any signs of weakness. And now, he probably believes that he has finally been destroyed, through loving his wife and daughter, like any man should.I begin to stand and walk out of her room. When I get to the door he says something like, ' I will get her back.'

'That's the spirit,' I say, more to myself than to him. I might look confident that we were going to get her back, but secretly, I'm not so sure.