A/N: Thanks for the beta work Ashtwi.
I posted before my Beta was done so any and all remaining errors are my sole responsibility.
Disclaimer: I still don't own Twilight or its characters. If I did you would have seen me on the black carpet at the premier.
Chapter 7 That's Me
Charlie started his version of the inquisition when I hopped a ride with him and Mom to the Cullen house. He made eye contact in the rear-view mirror. "So Leah, your mom tells me you have a new boyfriend? A visitor to the Cullens?"
"Yep." I popped the 'p' but smiled at him nevertheless. He was used to my surliness, not my smile. I think the combination confused him, he didn't say another word. It's a good thing Forks didn't have much in the way of crime; Charlie was not cut out for investigative work.
Mom had no qualms taking Charlie over to the Cullen's with a new vampire in the mix. She had more faith in Nate's control than I did, but mom was way smarter than me. When daddy died I resented her dry eyes and cool rational manner. I on the other hand, screamed, cried, and pitched a fit until I finally went over the edge and turned into a giant wolf. Now I tend to think mom's way of coping was infinitely superior.
It was a record breaking trip to the house, meaning I don't think the ride could have taken longer. The chief strictly observed the speed limit in the most tedious manner possible and the car conversation was lacking something...words. Words would have helped a lot. How much time did mom and Charlie spend being silent with each other? The lack of stimulation added at least an hour to the trip.
I considered asking him to pull the car over. I could walk faster than this but I had chosen my clothes with care. The blue skirt and a pale yellow blouse, i.e. job hunting clothes, were some of the very few nice things I bought since the furplosion. The rest of my wardrobe consisted of dollar store dresses and indiscriminate thrift shop finds. Clothing had lost its appeal it when it became disposable. I hoped Nate appreciated the effort.
Couldn't Charlie speed up a little? Was he afraid the town's other squad car would pull him over?
My nerves were humming when we finally turned off the highway onto the driveway. The last few days didn't seem quite real; could this all have been a dream? What if I saw him and he wasn't my imprint after all? What if I had just been really horny from my long dry spell? What if he was over me? Why had I stayed away so long? He could have left and gone back home. I didn't even know for sure where he lived. All I knew was South America and that's not an address. I contemplated kicking the back door open as when we slowed even further on the winding drive to the house. I was sure I could do it if I got the angle just right.
Swiveling in the seat I lined my right leg up with the door when Mom ordered in the same breath, "Calm down back there and Charlie speed up, please." Charlie did as he was told; he was wonderfully obedient. I hoped I possessed half of Mom's man training skills.
When Charlie opened the back door I rushed into the house without knocking. Where was my Nate? I didn't see him in the assembled company downstairs. Why had he not come to greet me? Didn't he miss me at all?
"God, look at her. Does she think we ate him?" Rose could say whatever she wanted, I needed to see Nate. His scent led me up the stairs.
"Nate!" My emotions where all over the place as I raced up the second flight to the third floor. In the back of my mind I knew if I just calmed down the imprint GPS would kick in but couldn't. The need to see him was stronger than anything.
"Yes, Beautiful." The world's loveliest voice came from behind me. I whirled around and threw my cool points to the wind as I hurled myself at him. He staggered on the landing but didn't fall under my weight as he caught me.
My legs were wrapped around him and my head was nestled against his shoulder in our standard greeting pose. He was real, and still here, and still mine.
"You missed me." Nate stated as he shifted my weight to carry me up the stairs.
There was no denying it. "Yep. Did you miss me too?" I nibbled at his jaw line as he moved quickly but carefully to our room.
"No, the day was rather full."
"Let me down." I pushed against him slightly. "My mom and Bella's father are here. It would be rude if you didn't go downstairs to greet them." I didn't care over much about rudeness, but I was slightly hurt that he didn't miss me like I missed him. One day we would have to discuss the art of the polite lie.
"My mom and Bella's dad are something of a couple," I explained quietly.
Nate matched his volume to mine. "Your mother is not observing a year of mourning for your father?"
I gritted my teeth. It aggravated me that Mom and Charlie were already an item. It didn't seem fair to my daddy's memory but me having qualms was one thing; it was another to have someone else, even my imprint question Mom's behavior. I did cut him some slack for being my imprint so I didn't give him the standard, 'Mine your own damn business' response.
Instead I said, "It's not like they have already married. Charlie was very supportive of Mom when Daddy died. Then when Bella changed and Charlie had to become accustomed to the all new world of myth and monsters, Mom kinda held his hand. They have been supporting each other." Explaining to Nate forced me to see the situation more objectively. "There is also the fact that Mom is a natural caregiver. She needs to be taking care of somebody. Seth and I don't require much care but Charlie laps it up." I didn't come up with this on my own. Mom told me she needed to be needed and Seth and I didn't need her anymore. I had argued halfheartedly but Mom's long hours at the hospital had forced us to become fairly independent.
"My eldest sister, Lucia, is like your mother; it can be bothersome. Do you expect them to marry?" Nate was being rather chatty, for him.
"Yes, but no time soon. They are both so steady that I don't see this being a flash in the pan but they won't rush it either. Charlie will be good to my mother and I think they will be happy together." Talking to Nate made me feel better about Mom's relationship. It wasn't like she hadn't known Charlie forever and then some.
"So Bella will be your sister?"
"What? No! Why?" I forgot to be hushed.
"I need to understand my new family circle. Carlisle suggested that I question you to get a better understanding of this new life I am to take on. Your family will be my family. If this man is to marry your mother I want to be respectful of the connection." Nate's logic was killing me.
"Don't jump the gun they aren't married yet." I left it at that and finally we descended the stairs to join the group downstairs. The guys- Jacob, Quil, Embry and Emmett were gathered around the TV playing video games... again. Mom and Charlie were nestled on another sofa with Nessie on Charlie's lap as Edward and Bella hovered nearby.
As always, I commanded attention by coming into the room. By smirks and raised eyebrows the guys let me know they knew Bella was my sister.
"Charlie, I would like you to meet Nahuel." Our clasped hands declared the relationship. "Nahuel this is Charlie Swan, he's Bella's father and the Police Chief of Forks."
Charlie made to get up but it seemed he couldn't bear parting with his grandbaby that long, so he remained seated and extended a hand instead. "Pleased to meet you, Nahuel. I didn't catch your last name?"
I cringed instinctively expecting Nate to say I didn't throw one. "Mapuche. Nahuel Mapuche." I recognized the name of his mother's people.
"As I said, it is nice to meet you. I heard you were from South America, but never specifically where?"
"My family origins are in Argentina but my aunt and I have moved around quite a bit. Most recently she and I lived in Cayenne in French Guiana, but we have lived in Buenos Aires and Rio de Janeiro and a few small towns you would not be familiar with."
"I don't mean to keep you standing son, pull up a chair and have a seat." Charlie said in a code that meant the grilling would continue. It wasn't like Charlie to talk, much less ask questions, but if I thought he would make the world's worst detective I was wrong. I made eye contact with Edward and 'asked' what was going on. Charlie didn't want to be told anything and he sure as hell didn't seek information. Edward returned my look and nodded a 'be cool, we got this' nod, at least that's what I assumed he meant and heck he nodded to that as well. Nate sank gracefully to the floor taking me down with him.
"So you lived with your aunt. What about your parents?"
"My mother died at my birth and she would never say who my father was. My aunt has always taken care of me," Nate supplied readily.
Charlie asked question after question. I don't think I had ever heard him talk that much at one time that didn't involve a fish that got away. He wanted to know everything about Nate, his age, did he finish school, what was he planning on doing with his life, did he play soccer, and a plethora of minor details. Finally he wanted to know what brought him to the area. Nate's responses flowed naturally. He was 19; he had finished school but was postponing university. He would pursue a degree in business but he wanted to see more of the world before choosing a career. He played soccer only a little but usually cheered for Brazil. I was tense throughout the whole ordeal and wanted to tell Charlie to quit it before Nate said something Nate-like and offended him but I managed to stay silent and held Nate's hand giving him what support I could.
"My aunt once heard that my father may have been one of the indigenous people of this region. She and the Cullen's have mutual friends so we came on a visit with them, however they departed a few days back and my aunt returned as well. I do not expect to find my father for I have no idea of his name or even his tribal affiliation but I would like to learn about my roots." At no point was he at a loss, he lied smoothly, Cullen-style.
Charlie stopped questioning and seemed to chew over Nate's answers. I suspected he knew it was a crock. He gave Nessie a quick kiss on the cheek before standing and setting her on her feet. "Go get your dollies to show Grandpa. I need to step outside and talk with Leah's new boyfriend."
Nate respectfully followed Charlie to the door. Again I looked to Edward asking 'was this a good idea?' Bella seemed be on high alert too and ready to panic. Again, Edward nodded, but I felt better when I saw Jasper and Emmett leave the room almost too fast for me to see. They would be watching out for Charlie and my Nate could take care of himself. They didn't walk far, just a few feet from the porch. I listened shamelessly to the conversation.
Charlie started off, "You may not know this but I've known Leah since before she was born. She is the daughter of one my closest friends, Harry. He passed away just a few months back." Charlie stayed silent for a moment and I could hear him put a hand on the roof of the squad car. "She was the apple of her father's eye. I don't expect you to know how much that means but I'm a father so I do know just how much he loved that girl. She's had a rough time of it lately. Real rough, she's been hurt pretty bad. I'm not trying to take the place of her father, but I think it's best to let you know to be careful of her feelings. She is not without friends and if you trifle with her there will be consequences. Do you understand me? I will fuck you up."
Oh my god. In almost twenty years of Charlie hanging out with my dad fishing and drinking beer, or watching sports and drinking beer, or just drinking beer, I had never heard him drop the F-bomb. I was...I was touched.
I shared a look with Bella. This was out of character for Charlie. Bella was looking at me too, however she seemed slightly irritated. I figured Charlie was making up for not asking pertinent questions like "Are you dead?" with Edward.
"Understood." Nate answered but didn't sound offended. So far so good. "The concern you have for my Leah is very much appreciated." Nate broke pattern from the smooth facade of earlier and sincere Nate shone through. "I expect you will be just as careful with Leah's mother. If you hurt her..."
I cleared my throat quickly and loudly causing Nate to pause. Thank goodness.
Nate edited his statement, "If you hurt Leah's mother Leah will fuck you up, I think she would prefer it that way." Well that didn't work. I smiled uneasily at my audience. Although Bella had given up trying to talk to me she laughed and mouthed 'nice' at me. At least she wasn't offended.
"Fair enough, son. Could you send Leah out?" Charlie asked/ordered Nate.
This was not good. I waited for Nate to come into the house before I could go see what other new words Charlie was using.
"You asked for me?" I asked briskly.
"Leah, do you know what you're getting into here?" Worry was evident in Charlie's voice and quickened speech. "I've known you your whole life and I would like to think if anything had happened to me your father or Billy would have done the same for Bella. Do you really know what you are getting into here?" He didn't wait for an answer. "Just about everything I see is not what it appears to be and the same goes for that young man in there. I might not be able to protect you, but I want you to take some time and question this road you're starting down. You don't need to rush into a relationship. Impulsiveness in love rarely works out in my experience."
I looked Charlie in the eye. We had never conversed like this before. He awkwardly asked me about school or work and I gave him canned or monosyllable teenage responses depending on my mood. We had never talked as adults.
"I know what I'm doing. Nate is ...," I couldn't very well tell him about the imprint even if it would put his mind at ease. "Nate and I are...attached. It's something I can't explain, but we are meant to be...like Sam and Emily." I gave the first name of an imprinted couple I could think of. Anybody with eyes, including me, could see Sam and Emily were meant to be together. Bad example.
"Now Leah, I know you were messed up pretty bad about that thing with Sam but you don't need to hook up with the first pretty boy you come across to..."
"He is pretty isn't he? His skin is so smooth and even, I bet he never had a pimple in his life." I interrupted Charlie, trying to resume a natural comfort zone where I could be a teen and Charlie could be one of the dads.
"I suppose so Leah but looks don't mean much, if anything..."
It was time to grow up. I straightened my back from the instinctive sulky slouch and met Charlie's eyes again. "Look Charlie, I don't know how much he cares about me but for my part there can be no other but him so I have to take the risk. I have no choice."
"You always have a choice."
"No, I don't." This conversation would be so much easier if Charlie didn't insist on sticking his head in the sand. "It's not like dating. It's different." I threw my hands up, curled like claws in the worst kitten-wolf pose ever, desperately trying to convey a signal to Charlie so he would know it was all connected. Why yes, I did feel stupid.
"Oh," He looked at me strangely but with understanding, "Okay. Does he at least make you happy?" Charlie's eyes were pleading with me to lie if I had to, thankfully I didn't have to.
"Very much so." I set some of his fears to rest. "Just so you know, Billy did try to do what you're doing now. He tried to warn Bella about the weird stuff, but we are bound in how far we can go." Sisters tattle right? Charlie eyes widened slightly at that but it was his only reaction. I guess he knew how stubborn his daughter was.
"Then I guess that's all I can do. If you need me, you let me know." Charlie's gruffness signaled his return to form.
"Thanks Charlie." I gave him a quick awkward hug. He returned it in the same manner, giving me a quick pat on the shoulder.
We walked back into the house together to a slightly changed scene. Nessie had an assortment of dolls; baby dolls, Barbies, porcelain dolls and rag dolls that Charlie had given her for Christmas arrayed in the floor around her. She fumbled with them quietly on the floor. She was clearly confused as to what the dolls were supposed to do. Jacob was watching with a pained expression. He didn't know how to fix this for her. As much as I wanted to just crawl into a cocoon of Nate, I couldn't ignore the little girl in the floor.
I went to her, settling on the cool hardwood floor. I chose one of the two Barbies in the collection. The doll's outfit was very 'lady of the evening' but who was I to judge. "Have you ever played dolls before?"
She placed her little hand on my cheek to let me 'see' she didn't know how to play dolls. The rules were a mystery. She envisioned a chessboard with each doll type having a specific role to play. She wasn't sure what had to be done to determine a winner.
"No, baby it's not like that at all. It's all about imagination. Let me show you." I was in my element. It took the distraction of boys when I was twelve to finally put my dolls away. "Every doll needs to have a name, but you don't have to be too fast naming your doll. Sometimes you need to play with them a bit to get to know them. This one," I held up my Barbie, "can be one of the mommy dolls. This one can be," I chose a baby doll, "her baby. Now you choose a mommy and a baby." She did as I asked but silently asked me how they could be mommy and baby since the baby doll was twice as big as the mommy. She was a bit literal minded but I explained and we went on. Nate came to sit beside me to observe the rituals of girlhood.
Nessie and I played in our strange quiet manner where I spoke and she touched me until Esme announced, "Dinner is served." I couldn't help but drop a kiss on her coppery curls as I stood up to join the exodus to the dining room. "We can play again another time okay?" She nodded and smiled while we put her dolls into a toy chest that was certain to be an antique worth more than my home.
"You two are in the private dining room again." Esme steered Nate and I to the little room we shared dinner in the night before.
"So what were you doing that prevented you from missing me?" I asked straight away as soon as I closed the door. The food was waiting on the table and Nate waited until he had seated me and settled into his own seat before answering.
"Creating my back-story, as you saw earlier. It was a lengthy process. I must have an answer to every eventuality, but it must be similar to the truth. Previously, when I had to interact with humans as though I was one of them, I relied on silence and short answers that provided no actual information. They convinced me that for the long-term that will not work and no matter how annoyed I may become I can no longer kill the irritant to resolve situation."
"Surely, that didn't take all day." I wasn't going to rest until he admitted he missed me at some point.
"No, not all day, just a few hours of intense instruction. Then of course there was another exam. I began to think that it is fun for them. I am like the dolls you and Renesmee played with. I have never been sick a day in my life and surely you are out of danger, yet each day they have a new query."
"So after the instruction and exams what then? Come on, babe, didn't you miss me at all?"
"How could I? Every other moment someone was lecturing me about you. The consensus seems to be that you have been hurt badly and if I repeat the transgression my life will be forfeit. All day it has been one person or another telling me, 'Be careful with Leah, she's been hurt' or 'if you hurt her you will have to answer to me.' Beautiful, you have been with me all day. Although it has been a very long day without your presence. People do not speak so freely to me when you are around. I believe it is your glares and scowls, I find them rather endearing and many times I longed for them."
I laughed out loud. He did miss me after all, in his own way. I quickly shoveled a forkful of Grandma Swan's stroganoff. It was as good as the guys made it out to be; I had my doubts since they weren't the most discerning critics. Their one major requirement was food should be dead before the first bite, and even then only when they were in human form.
"Who did you want me to glare at today?" I watched Nate pick through the noodles looking for chunks of beef.
"Bella and Edward got me first. Edward said I had imprinting completely wrong and I should not think of you as a possession. He said I had to be careful to not hurt your feelings. Bella said you had been burned by love before, then she assessed me and said, 'I think I can take you' to which Edward nodded. Jasper said your pain had been tremendous. Rose told me your attitude was improving but if it returned and she had to deal with it she would 'take it out my ass.' I believe that is a threat of violence. Esme and Carlisle in their turn had something to say about you deserving some happiness, but Carlisle did not attempt to threaten me. I do not think he has it in him. Esme did say, 'If you hurt Leah, you will have to answer to me young man,' which was rather more sweet than scary. Your other pack brothers however had no problem saying such things." Nate successfully separated his meal into edible beef and inedible noodles onto different sides of his plate.
"Come on, try the noodles, they're good. You won't get enough to eat if you pick over your food."
"I hunted earlier with Jacob and Renesmee." Nate's day was rather full compared to my day of sleeping, chatting and getting fired. I would have to thank Jake later for getting Nate fed before perennial guinea pig Charlie came over. Nate examined one noodle speared on his fork. "Gray is an unappealing color in food."
"It's the sour cream. So Quil and Embry had a man to man to talk with you?"
"No, not them. It was Sam the other alpha and his, what do you call them? His back up dancers? Paul, the asshole and the other one Jared. They came to give me the routine as well, 'Leah's been through a lot and if you hurt her we'll take turns holding you down and beating you.'
I know the guys were trying to help but it made me nervous that all of this intervention could make Nate think I wasn't worth the effort. "I'm sorry babe, but I'm sure they meant well. I am surprised they came over. Of course that would explain why my girls had so much time to visit today."
"Your girls?"
"Yes, my friends visited me today. They are the imprints of the other pack, their mates. But I am sure my visit was more pleasant than yours. No threats involved." I teased as I took a sip of the red wine and wondered if Esme realized I was too young to drink and too unnatural to even get a buzz. The wine was probably "good stuff" but it really tasted like vinegar gone wrong.
"I believe they wish to protect you although they allow all of this vampire hunting." Distaste was evident in his tone. "Their threats do not bother me. I have no fear of them, however none of them will tell me anything. I ask, 'How was Leah hurt' and they say I must ask you. I cannot understand why they insist upon referring to this 'hurt' if they do not wish to talk about it. I would rather they chose silence instead. If this incident in your past is something you wish me to know about you will tell me, will you not?"
Wow, that was a novel approach; he would wait until I volunteered. "Yes, yes I will."
"I do want to know so I should hope you want to tell me soon." It was too good to be true. Why wouldn't he want to know? Damn busybodies had been working all day at making him curious.
"It's a long story. What have you been told already? Did anybody tell you anything?"
"No, they were careful not to tell me anything of use. Sam did say he hurt you badly. Edward intervened and explained that it was not physical." Nate stopped picking at his food to pick my hand up from the table. "In time we will know everything there is to know about each other. I would not like to rush you; however I want to know more about this incident which defines you in their minds." Nate's warm brown gaze was compelling. He stroked the back of my hand with his thumb. If he wanted this I would give it to him. He continued, "A long story is fine with me. If I find that it does not hold my attention I will let you know. Okay?"
"Okay, fair enough." I would tell him. If I were him I would want to know. Of course if I were him I would have made somebody tell me. Naturally he didn't know a good tickling would make Jared give up state secrets. "Let's get an early start on patrol."
I finished my dinner and Nate was done playing in his. I grabbed my dirty dishes to return to the kitchen. Nate saw me and followed suit. I was still hungry though. Somehow Esme was seeing me as a girl before wolf and served me girl size portions. It was going to be a long night. I shuddered at the idea of having to hunt for palatable wildlife tonight with Nate present. I didn't want him to see me like that yet.
Esme met me at the kitchen door. "You didn't have to bring your dishes. We were just about to serve dessert. Won't you stay and have some? We made brownies."
Against the protests of my tummy I said, "Thank you, but no." If I stayed a moment longer I would back out of this talk. "Dinner was delicious, thank you Esme."
"It was my pleasure. I'll put some brownies aside for you if you want to stop by tomorrow." There she was, beaming at me and Nate, practically begging me to come back for some more down your throat Cullen style hospitality. Let it never be said the Cullen's made a guest feel unwelcome, trapped maybe, but never unwelcome.
Edward turned from the sink where he and Carlisle were playing at doing the dishes; the novelty of preparing meals and cleaning up had not worn off for them yet. "I packed some sandwiches in your bag." My stomach was grateful for his mind-reading. It probably took him all of six seconds to hook me up. "Alice didn't see anything today but she had some brief flashes which could indicate a nebulous decision. Be careful out there tonight and you know...howl if you need us."
He switched his focus, "Nahuel are you sure you are ready for another night of patrol?"
"Certainly. Leah keeps her pace slower for me and if not she is a good mount."
I groaned aloud at the horse reference. I'm a girl, not a beast of burden.
Nate reacted to my dismay. "I'm sorry, Leah, that was disrespectful. I meant 'mount' like a horse with a good gait, not 'mount' in a sexual nature."
"Thanks for clearing that up babe." Embarrassment was pointless, however sarcasm was always worthwhile.
"Thanks for the heads up and the sandwiches, Edward. Can you let Jake know we will be patrolling starting at the northeast line in human?"
"Sure, no problem."
Nate grabbed my bag, which I assumed he retrieved from my tree earlier. When we were out of sight of the house I slipped out of my nice clothes in favor of a "running" dress. The presence of the camouflage tennis skirt and matching top didn't surprise me; however the existence of high end camouflage tennis apparel was a bit of a shock.
I clasped Nate's hand as we walked to the northeast. "Two years ago I was a very happy girl. High school happy." I wish Nate had the same pop culture background that I did so I could just say I was the villain chick in a high school movie. "I was pretty, popular, and I had great boyfriend who adored me. Sam was that boyfriend."
Nate didn't say anything so I continued. "My high school life revolved around being Sam's Uley's girlfriend. Sam was well liked and respected by adults and kids. He could be a lot of fun," I took in Nate's disbelieving look, "No, really, he was fun. Easy to laugh and always ready to do something. People were drawn to him. He was a lot like my Daddy in that sense. This was before everything got weird around here."
"When I was a freshman and Sam was a sophomore his girlfriend broke up with him for somebody else. I was excited and made every effort to flirt with him. You know, be two inches from his face to make sure he knew I was interested. Sure enough he chose me over the other contenders. Even then I knew Sam chose me because his ego needed another girlfriend fast and there I was, crazy about him, and I know I am a good looking chick."
"You are indeed. Do go on." Nate was still interested. I could be sure that he would tell me the truth if I began to bore him.
"Anyway, when we were first together I was in awe of him but eventually we settled into a balance. I got used to him and he got to know me. He was like my best friend. He fit right into my family, in some ways he was like a brother to me. In our school, by the time my junior year rolled around, we were the power couple. Our table was the cool table, his friends and my friends were one and the same. My girlfriends back then were different girls than the ones who came to see me today." I explained to him. My life then and my life now bore no resemblance. Those girls had gone off to college and we didn't keep in touch much. "Life was good for me. Sam was going to college on a scholarship; I would follow him the next year. My biggest issue was prom. It seems like a million years ago."
"Then one day everything went off the rails. Sam was supposed to come over my house after school; he just had to mow a couple of lawns first. I waited for him, he didn't show. I thought he was probably mowing for someone else for free because he was always doing stuff like that. It wasn't unusual for him to be late if someone needed help he could give. After a while I got worried. I went over to his house, called his friends, went looking for him, and nothing. Daddy told me not to worry; he was sure by morning Sam would be home with a good explanation. He even joked that someone probably needed a kidney and Sam ran by the hospital to donate his. I called his house every half hour until Mom made me stop it. Even his mom didn't take it seriously. Like my Dad she was sure he was helping somebody and got caught up. My cousin Emily was the only person who took it seriously. We talked on the phone many times during the night. Morning came and he didn't turn up. A full search was launched."
"Can I safely assume this is when he phased into a wolf for the first time?"
"Yeah, but at the time he didn't know what was happening. I didn't know either for another year. It wasn't something our people, even the elders, were looking for. We had our legends but they were fading into obscurity."
"Sam was missing for more than two weeks. Only his mother and I still believed he was coming back. Most people thought he was dead. He was too good, too responsible, and too different from his dad to have run away."
"That incident changed my relationship with Sam. We cared about each other before but it went to a whole new level. Living on the brink of life and death changes everything. When he finally came back home larger than life but fragile, I think that's when we fell in love. In retrospect I wish we hadn't...it would have made the rest so much easier. Until then we were a couple of kids playing at couplehood but overnight we morphed into a unit. People said some awful things about Sam and questioned him about his disappearance and I was that chick who kept them at bay.
"I bet you were good at it. You can look rather menacing."
"I can be rather vocal too and I had to be. He had been through some sort of trauma and he couldn't tell me about it. I would be damned if anyone else was going to badger it out of him. I loved him and took care of him as best I could. I thought sooner or later he would get back to normal. Ha, it was only the beginning."
"Throughout Sam's whole disappearance my cousin Emily was my ace. She came down to see me; she wept with me and held me during those first few days. When Sam reappeared she was the first person I called to tell the news. Emily came down to help me dress for my prom. My cousin Em, my best friend in the world. We were raised as close as sisters."
"This sounds ominous." Nate dropped my hand to curl his arm around my shoulder.
"It was bad. Sam had seen Em a million times before but this time he imprinted on her. The wolf in him recognized his mate, just like mine recognized you."
"No, it was not your wolf nor was it his. You imprinted on me as a woman. Surely it was the man in him who knew his soulmate?"
"Hmmm, it's so much easier to blame it on the wolf but it's true we don't imprint as wolves." His profile caught my eye while I paused to consider his very valid point. The wolf had been a very convenient scapegoat. "It's still magical though." The wolf was off the hook but Quileute magic would still be taking the blame.
"He imprinted on your cousin. Did he claim her right away as I claimed you?"
"No, of course not. My whole family was present; that would have been really incredibly wrong."
"I do not think it would have stopped me. I have never felt a pull so strong; I doubt anything would have prevented me from claiming you. Did your cousin not experience this?" Listening to Nate made me realize that night could have gone so much worse. Walking with him in the cold night air, deep in the pitch black forest with his arm wrapped around me, I was complete. I couldn't imagine how Sam and Emily stayed apart as long as they did.
"She is attached to him beyond what is normal but you see both Sam and Emily loved me. Neither wanted to hurt me and I didn't know what had happened. I thought he was looking at me like that." More than a year had passed, almost two, but I would never forget what it felt like to see the promise of forever and have it snatched away.
Nate quickly snatched me into an unexpected hug and held me tight. "I am sorry, I wish there was some way I could have been there for you." He breathed in my ear and rubbed my back soothingly. My Nate knew just what I needed. He had seen my promise of forever.
We started ambling along again with his arm tucked around my waist and mine around his. "Sam showed a great deal of restraint in his pursuit of Emily. He muddled through weeks with me, trying to love me but finally one day out of the blue while we were watching a movie on my couch he told me it was over. I didn't take it well. I asked why and he told me, 'I'm sorry Leah; it's just that I love her so much.' I knew who he was talking about instantly. I said, 'but you love me'. He said, 'I do love you,' his pain was all over his face. I couldn't understand why he was doing this to us and said so. 'But I love her more than anything, I need her.' It was like a slap to the face, a hard slap." I leaned into Nate drawing on his strength as he instinctively pulled me closer right when I need it.
"Emily denied having anything to do with it. She was my rock over the phone but there was always some reason she couldn't come see me."
"She was trying to resist. Your cousin is stronger than I. She must be very loyal to you."
"She is loyal but I didn't see it like that, besides, it's the imprint we are talking about here. She refused his calls and of course he couldn't stay away so he started going to her house. Eventually I heard about it and called her to say she would have to choose between us. She pleaded that Sam just needed a friend to talk to and she wouldn't let it go any further. I was relentless; I said she couldn't be his friend and mine. I was such a brat."
"No, you were hurting." I wondered if Nate would always be on my side.
"I was hurting and it hurt even more when I didn't hear from Emily for two weeks. We had never gone much more than a whole day without talking. It was obvious who her choice was. The 'break up' with Emily hurt just as much, if not more, than the one with Sam. They both rejected me."
"The next thing I heard was that Emily had been attacked by a bear and that Sam was naked when he brought her from the forest. Everyone, me included was sure what they had been up to, to leave him naked."
"Em is my cousin and best friend so the Sam stuff aside I should have been there with her at the hospital. I should have been holding her hand. If the situation was reversed she would have done it for me. I went with my parents to the hospital to see her because Mom made me. Sam was there. Where else would he be? He was in terrible shape and it made me angry seeing how deeply he cared for her. My uncle, Emily's dad, wouldn't allow Sam in the room, he held Sam responsible for not protecting Emily. Instead of being a friend to Sam or to Emily... I upheld his rule. I purposely kept them apart. I didn't do the right thing. A part of me, a large part, felt like Emily's bear attack was comeuppance for her and Sam both. She was scarred for life and he was stuck with her. I knew him well enough to know come hell or high water he would never bail on her. I sat there in the waiting room watching him, ready to call security or Uncle George if he made one false move. It was all spite and all futile."
"Do bear attacks happen often around here?"
"Oh, I forgot you don't know this. There was never a bear, Sam injured Emily. He was still fairly new to phasing and he lost control for a split second. That's all it takes."
"What made him lose control?"
It was such a simple question. What pushed Sam over the edge? I felt a familiar ache in my chest threaten to overwhelm me. My feet stopped and I whimpered just a little making Nate again pull me fully into his arms. "Me." My voice hitched. "It was my fault. Emily chose me; she tried to reject Sam for me. She told him she couldn't do it to me. He had told her everything about being a wolf about the imprint, she knew, she really knew how deep it went but she still she chose me." I paused trying to keep it together to get the rest out, "Sam was upset, he yelled, 'This isn't about Leah.' Emily told him, 'Anything between us will always be about Leah.' He couldn't deal with it. He started trembling and Emily in her concern reached out to him. Sam threw up a hand to ward her off but it was too late his claws caught her on the face and ripped her flesh open all the way down to her hand. I've seen it so many times in Sam's head. He tried to block it from me but he worries over it all the time. It came in bits and pieces when he wasn't guarded but eventually I put together." I was barely audible, emotion choking my words out. I had seen it and heard it so many times. Emily's anguished voice saying 'always be about Leah' and Sam's claws tearing into her skin.
I didn't realize I was crying silent tears until Nate wiped them away, the pain had become that familiar. "Emily loves me, she loves me so much more than I deserve."
I tried to keep talking through the tears but Nate shushed me. He held me tight to his chest, his hands stroked my back so gently and I finally let it go. I didn't try to be tough; I didn't tap into the anger that had been my sword and shield. I didn't have to be Leah with a brave face. With his heart pressed against mine as we pulsated to the same rhythm it was not a connection so much as it was state of being. I was with my other half and there was no other way to be but all me. I let my sobs come for every time I saw the jagged scars marring Emily's beautiful face, every inch an accusation of my selfishness. Emily had never denied me anything whatever the cost to her and it damn near cost her life.
"Sshh Leah, its okay, baby. You didn't know." Nate held me tight and made soothing noises in my ear. Sobs wracked my body even harder. I didn't deserve his kindness and tenderness. I had been such an awful person. I pulled at him tighter trying to draw in the inner calm that always seemed to surround him. The hurtful thoughts wouldn't keep coming. I had been so self-centered that I never noticed that Em had always loved Sam. Heck I didn't even notice him much until she had a crush on him one summer. We had so much fun together playing his stalkerazzi. Her crush became my crush and although she was my best friend in the world I never even noticed that for her it was never a simple crush. Emily loved Sam when she was thirteen and she loved him still. I cried for the world of pain she had to go through when I pretty much forced her to be a part of Sam and Leah. I dragged her on double dates, group outings and I used to make him take me up to see her, and she couldn't escape even at home. She bore witness to it all; she knew every intimate detail of my sex life with Sam, the man she loved. Not by word or deed did she ever betray me, ever. For a few months I went through what she had endured for years.
Nate's hands worked a gentle comforting pattern on my back, stroking, rubbing, squeezing. Eventually I calmed down while breathing in his scent, in the cold of January he smelled like warmth. My hands unclenched from around his neck to thread into his thick hair bringing it closer to my face so I could breathe his scent in deeper. The pattern of his hands shifted, his strokes became longer, going past the small of my back to the top of my ass. My hips instinctively gyrated into him. With purpose my hands moved deeper into his hair to cradle the back of his head at just the right angle for a kiss.
I pressed my mouth to his, not moving, just holding his mouth to mine, drinking in his strength. Nate rained tiny kisses on my lips before pressing his lips to my wet cheeks. "You will never face anything alone again. Never." He feathered kisses on my closed eyes, my nose and cheeks, my chin, each kiss a tender promise. By the time he made it to my lips a new passion had been ignited. It wasn't desperate, fevered, fun, or like anything I had experienced with him before. His lips moved over mine gently seeking entry and I welcomed him tentatively, afraid to accept another man's promises.
Nate kept his pace slow; his hands skimmed the sides of my breasts, spanned my waist, and lightly trailed over my bottom. Could I rely on him like that? Never alone again? His kiss became firmer and his tongue invaded my mouth as the caramel taste of my imprint flooded my senses. My tongue slid against his, accepting his invasion, welcoming his possession. Never alone again? Did I even have a choice? All of my senses were in thrall of him. His firm length thrust against me and I strained to get closer. His hands began to knead my bottom and in less than a second I straddled his waist.
His hands were all over me, running up my thighs, the swell of my butt, under my shirt onto the skin of my back; the other skimmed along my ribcage to come between us to cup one breast, letting his thumb caress my hardened nipple.
I sighed against his mouth, "I need you now." I wanted him to chase all my inner demons away. His hands slipped beneath my skirt pushing it up around my waist. A quick rip removed my panties. He lifted me higher and I clung to him while he dealt with his jeans. He eased me down slowly and I whimpered, wanting immediate gratification. His head nudged my entrance. "Please, Nate," I sensed his hesitation and urged him to possess me. He eased me down slowly, pushing in inch by inch.
I held him inside, not moving, just contracting around him trying to draw him in deeper. His groan of pleasure laced with torment spurred me into action. I set our pace, sliding up on his full length and slowly welcoming each new possession. He whispered, "You're mine, now. My Leah, my beautiful, precious Leah." Nate stayed rooted firmly to the ground; he was my anchor in this world now. I reveled in his strength, his total possession. I rode him harder and faster, knowing I couldn't uproot him, he was my solid tower of strength. We shattered together.
I panted in his ear, both of us coming down from the incredible high of love making. Our breath puffed out visibly in the cold night air, our superheated bodies sweating despite the chill. Reluctantly I let myself slide off his body. I set about straightening his clothes and fastening his pants when he suddenly grabbed my face and kissed me hard and thoroughly. "My beautiful precious Leah, I will always, always be here for you." My heart soared; I hadn't been precious to anyone since my Daddy died.
I felt unburdened. I hadn't told him every excruciating detail but I finally willingly shared with someone the demons that haunted me. Sam hurt me, sure, and I was getting past that but I hurt Emily and until now it was my burden alone.
"It's time for us to patrol for real, babe." I had been slacking off long enough. I started undressing slowly and reluctantly. I noticed Nate's eyes riveted to me which encouraged me to go all the more slowly.
"Keep it up and patrol will face another delay," his voice was husky with intent. Being the ham that I am I jiggled the wonder twins at him and danced away a step or two. He laughed, a rare rich sound when suddenly everything shifted. His arm flashed out, slamming painfully into my side as he slung me behind him. The scent hit me and I tried to struggle free, afraid to phase with Nahuel so close. Two vampires, one male, one female came at us from opposite sides. A planned attack.
"Well what do we have here?" The female spoke tauntingly. They effectively had the drop on us with me in human form and Nate unwillingly to let me go. I couldn't call my pack, Alice couldn't see us. Mentally I yelled at Edward, hoping we were in his range.
"We were hoping for a good fight with the shapeshifters of this area. I have to admit I am a little disappointed to find the weak little half vampire and his next victim. Still, they should make us a good meal will they not, William?"
"One will, the other reeks." William evidently hadn't done enough homework. All I had to do was play my part. I hoped Nate would take the cue. I screamed my loudest damsel in distess scream. We didn't need much of a distraction.
A split second later William's head rolled in front of my paws as the stunned female vampire came face to with the shapeshifter she hoped for. I pummeled into her snapping my teeth into her shoulder and felt her rapier like nails peel flesh and fur from my ribs. I tried to use my momentum to take her down but she recovered too quickly, tucking into a ball and rolling out of my reach. Nate was on top of her immediately, together they rolled across the forest floor. Their bodies slammed into a tree knocking them apart. The female's head kept going but her body lay crumpled against the tree motionless.
I spit out a chunk of her shoulder and leapt to Nate's side. He was lying very still on his side. I nudged him with my muzzle and he flopped limply onto his back. I phased between a howl of anguish and a scream of despair "NATE!" I pulled his unmoving body onto my lap.